he took notes What are you doing noware you making notes
again? You kill me. You’re never away from a pen and paper or your cell, addressing
texts to yourself . . more notes . . . it isn’t that interesting.
he looked up from the papered
clipboard relaxed his pen for a moment Youre incorrect Whacha oughta say
is that its not that interesting to you You Thank
gawd youre not the arbiter of what is interesting or isnt Fuckin droll Uninvested Uninterested I could put my eyes out with blunt pencils an still see more than you with my ears Youre not curious
Or, or, or if you’ll allow me, I’m
not as curious as you.
Dont Youre not curious I point things out to you you hardly can be bothered
to look
You’re always pointing things out
to me . .
.
. Im sharing
You’re always pointing things out
to me. That ain’t sharing.
How often do you point something
out to me
Rarely.
Rarely. I admit that. But I think you’ve already seen them. You’re
so damn observant. What’s that about?
I see things with a writers eyesstories
being told all around me and its only a matter of looking for them an
often I think it is because Im looking that the reveal
themselves or enact their particular
drauma . .
.
. That! he said as an accusation That!
Drauma. You don’t say dramayou
tout drauma.
An you know why
Drama trauma trauma drama drauma Yeah! Though I’m still not sure what you’re talking about.
Yes you do Just another aspect of observing things
he sighed Couldn’t we just walk somewhere and you keep
it to yourselfwrite it, text it . . But don’t say anything to me.
A little rude Like taking a telephone call when youre in conversation
or having a meal with someone
Get over it. We’re rude, everyone’s
rude, it could be important.
AhCorrection. You’re not rude.
You ignore your fone, constantly, except, except . . when you’re making a note
to yourself.
Please. Be rude if it’ll save me from
having to look at something.
I think if you brought your camera out I think youd get what Im doing You used to go everywhere with your camera .
.
.
. And times change. Now I have a fon . .
.
. It aint the same Its point an shoot an
everyone thinks theyre a gawddamn photographer I aint tellin ya sumptin ya dont know
he was growing visually exasperatedimpatient his cheek flushed Man, be rude. Please.
Just be rude.
not everything he noted made the
cut
they tended to be outlines or stab wounds deep enough to catch his attention then maybe he could elaborate usually he
could elaborate
he was going through a note on
paper with pen a December dream that arrested him he wasnt dreaming much in December circumstances hell for that matter he wasnt sleeping much in
December either
he read it dispassionately
he didnt snag on a hook till hallway
through it . . her right breast heavy full jiggling
any fullbloodied male
heterosexual possibly some female
heterosexuals might get hooked too
an with the dream-memory
of that heavy jiggling breast he recalled her
a dreamed-woman recalled with humour
the dream
a gauntlet
hed been winding his way looking for Ariadnes thread to help him
leave all she ever did was save him timeprovided him a shortcut sometimes he disregarded
it wanted a bit more adventure even if one can direct their dreams as he could they
remain adventurous
There Atta girl he fingered the thread looked around
to his left a wall of glass windows
overlooking a natatorium a huge concrete
apartment building standing on top it facing it looking up he couldnt see how tall
it was his angle of perception was
diminished by a tall concrete curb and it mounted by a tenfooteasy chainlink
fence bolted into it
he couldnt see the top of the
apartment
as he paused to look around out from
the corner of his eye he saw a huge splash in the pool just ahead of him a tiled walkway ran between the pool and the bank
of windows and the pavement he
walked on separate
he walked ahead and approaching the
subsiding water he saw a woman fullyclothed in the pool
a man was behind her
the man was stripping her clothingpressing her to the edge of the pool feet from where he stood directly across
from her
she didnt see him
the man certainly didnt see him
the pool was shallow where they struggled
the man yankingstretching her
blouse her clothing grappling with her succeeded in popping the button from her blouseher bra disheveled then exposed her right breast heavy
full jiggling
the assailant thrusted against her from behind
her expression looked frenzied but she wasnt calling for help
he made different calculation
behind his eyes and when he looked again
she still jostledstill jiggling mouthed DO
YOU MIND?
SHIT she was enjoying it and her maybe-not assailant
he wanted to tell her NO I DONT MIND and not move off spot but healso wanted to respect her mild request
for privacy or violation for that matter
if it was
then the scene
suddenlyviolently revolvedthe pool dropping through the floor the rest of the pool
hurtling towards the glass the bleacher at the farside the blue tiled wall
behind it rolling like a Bingo cage turning wooden balls he saw himself
reflected in the glass its silvering the blue wall and then silvered black and silvered
cubisted with furnaces and air ducts wiring structural supports silvered black
again and suddenly stopped the glass
gone the concrete building above it gone he was outside an Airstream trailer standing with five others the chainlink fence
behind him transformed into a tall dense leafy hedge
he entered the trailer with the clutchhe
brought up the rear they were
compatriots of a sort he could heareveryone could
hear what they were thinking a hive mind and then suddenly he slipped the connexionthey
couldnt read his mind though he could read theirs he went off script he assumed their leadershipwas their authority slipping their connectivity induced confusion
and anxiety in the five yet he felt that without himauthority or not because
they were not separatebecause the retained their binding they were capable of
proceeding without him
they were going to have to
he had
no intention of babysitting them
the five looked alike three women two men they looked alike he was grateful for the heaving rotation
and the glassthe mirror he didnt look like
them
there ariadnes thread
at his toe
he figured hed stroll a bit longer
1834,
Thursday, 17 12. 19
1557, Thursday,
30 4. 20
