19.1.25


Aaah    he understood
                         the stranger
the stranger at the unknownunrealised cold deep  iceclotted river bank

inside the limegreen car
                           limegreen
was worked into his quilted bedspread
the stranger
                  wasnt a woman

she was female

                      female
she sat drew her legs in shut the door the car lurch forward went over the edge knifed into the river like stone  and was gone
    WAIT
she would have heard him
                                 but she wouldnt have understood him
didnt understand English

   didnt understand any word any human being woud have utteredSCREAMED


she wasnt human

she was a cat
                     leftie

when she entered the car
                             she was doomed
he couldnt have saved hernot in his dreams
not his dreamed-selfnot his dreaming-self


   death  like a cold river
                             erases us
except for memories


a mosaic hes always had to contend with
                                               waking  asleep
the fabric that shrouds him

afternoon,  Sunday,  19  1. 25

two frights woke them during the night
                                         them were he and his cat shy
his was firstdisturbing
                            was in a sleek limegreen car with a stranger a woman

he pulled over to a dirt shoulder to take a leak felt like a roadtrip

she admitted she had to go too

he went to the side of the road where he pulled off she to the other

   whatever she had to do she beat him back to the car stood relaxed off its rearend looking down road from whence they came

approaching her from the frontend he called Pretty spiffy kiddo  Set a landspeed record

shaking her head no she laughed
                                     I was just thinking you were really dragging your feet. made her laugh harder
made him wonder what she actually thought he was dragging
Draggin my feet
                 I really had to go
Evidently.
             as she started walkinround the end of the car to the passenger door he saw as dreams can he was everconscious of his dreamed-self and his dreaming-self that the shoulder had melted awayturned into a severe cutbank overlooking an iceclogged fastmoving wide river hed turned the wheels rightseemed the right tire might possibly have crumbled the yellow earth beneath itWAIT
                                             her perception wasnt his
she swung the door open
the car shifted subtly
                       WAIT
she sat drew her legs in shut the door the car lurch forward went over the edge knifed into the river like stone and was gone
     WAITechoing back from the dark woods on the opposite bank startled him
starting awakerocked the bed shy leaptbound off the bed he sitting upright
                                                                                  the thin whisper gauze trailing off the dreamevaporating had him readying to leap into the water after her but SHE WAS GONE

Wha the fuck his heart pounding  wha the fuck

he was upset

he hadnt a chance to save her


   he laid back down
                          adjusting the pillows to either side of his head he felt like questioning his dreaming-self  Yadidnt see tha comin ya didnt warn me
                                           his dreaming-self wouldnt be keen on hotlight shined in his face
would clam up

hed seen that expression before
                                   in mirrors glaring back at him
he let go


he closed his eyes took several deep cleansingbreaths

   the river darkened darkened  darkened
                                              disappeared

he barely felt shy jump back up into bed lean into his blanketed bicep



   
    the bed rocked
                     shy didnt go twenty pounds rocked it like she weighed forty
he started
she was on all fours staring hard at the doorway ears back bundle of crackling fierceenergy
followed her glare
                   Whagrrl wha is it
wasnt anythinganyone there that he could see

   the intensity began fading  fading
                                                was gone
her hindend relaxed against him


she relaxed
              laid against him again

closing his eyes he wondered what she dreamed

5AMish,  Saturday,  18  1. 25
1118,  Sunday,  19  1. 25
Mingus  Haitian Fight Song  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7CoJEyiSfE