troglodyte a prehistoric cave dweller 

                                       troglodyta  Latin  from Greek troglodutes  influenced by troglos  cave  and

-dutai  those who enter 

that looked back at him from a mirror 

he couldnt fool himself 

                     nor could he abide himself if anyone was fooled eitherhe was Johnny-on-the-spot to correct them

he left Distillation on top inside the cigarbox that he told his kids they could go into after he died

no sooner

he left it out in the open inside his studio

he caught them occasionally standing before it  asif paying homage

                                                                        he embarrassed them  In due time

 

DISTILLATION

I say what I think and having said I think of it no longer I evacuate to make room for more My brain like my bowels and bladder and lungs I empty to refill to empty again filling and emptying again and on until that time when death will finally quietly empty me completely a warm grateful squeeze and spasm where in my bed on a floor or into the earth will weep the vestiges of what I had been

I will sorely miss being unable to sit or kneel in my stuff like a small curious child to sort or pull through it discovering its trembling treasures its funk and fuck In it are my bright happinesses my ugly horrors 

Hopefully my children can look maybe they can smell the fragrances in the odor or find feel the beautiful stones in the surly muck MAYBE  if their eyes dont betray them or their nerves not be faint 

I was not a part  not a cog or gear

                                     I was a thing in the bubble of its own atmosphere formed with the slime of its body – inflated with its gases and breath

  

0037,  Saturday,  20 7. 91

1420,  Saturday,  3  7. 21

 

a little different look makes a difference

shave

and a haircut  two bits get lost  drop dead   or some other facetious response

somebody expects two bits anya give them Drop dead

                                                           that makes a difference

on women

new hair colour

makeup

makes a difference

                    hed walk off no interest in walking a path of high maintenance 

the shave and a hair bit is seven successive notes five then after a pause it concludes with two

                                                                                                      sharing an apartment if his bedroom door was closed a roommate would rap at it  knock knockknockknock knock  if he wanted them to enter or engage them hed rap on the floor wall on his desk knock knock theyd let themselves in

                                                                                                the bit is originally from an Eighteenninetynine tune by Charles Hale ragtime At a Darktown Cakewalk a cakewalk something absurdly easy  what was easier than rapping and not having to get up off his ass to answer the door

usually they wanted to know if he wanted to get high  cakewalk

usually lotsa of different goodlooking women in the livingroom makes a difference 

                                                                                     and making them they were different thoughto be sure sometimes a lot different  so sue him 

he was high now

makes a difference

he didnt have roommates now

things were no longer a cakewalk

why he muddled on was because a WiFi router that stood on his desk atop a stack of WWI military books and a modem was gone he returned ithe had nothing in his house that was WiFianything his Internet company for ten years had provided it to him for free then IT decidedwithout prior notification to pop him five bucks a month 

                                                                                                     unfortunately reminded him of a buddyonce a roommate whose wife came home after twelve years of marriage and told him she didnt love him anymore and was going to start dating again  ahthe sanctity of marriage

he told his buddybecause he stood up to their wedding Excuse me all to hell she aint dead

Dead? Whadaya mean she’s not dead?

I witnessed her vow till dead do us part She may think she can ditch the to have and to hold to love and to cherish but she aint dead

Ah, well, there’s actually a simple answer . . . she’s not interested in parting . she’s bringing boyfriends home.

THE unread FINE PRINT 

                        whether on a marriage license or a no-commitment contract

a little different look makes a difference

the router was eight-inches wide seven tall in his line of vision now instead of a matte blackfaced fixture there was a white textured wall 

                     AND it was definitely staring at him hed describe the look as being a little outraged for being left out of sight for years

he was going to have to do something about that

but not rashly

hed think on it

be deliberate

withstand its outrage

its inappropriate ire

it may not have known better

he didnt know its IQ

                      but if it could eyeball him this hard it must have seen the IT companys technician placed the router

not him 

he was going to give the wallspace and himself some time

maybe they could work things out 

                                    if the wallspace could accept he was innocent

he apologised

               he didnt ask for forgiveness

he didnt do anything wrong

0944,  Saturday,  3  7. 21

1899 Charles Hale  At a Darktown Cakewalk  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHhZbkEMmUM 

Vibration Black Finger  In Rhythm  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAh1bM3CX14