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often she saidtoo readily for him  she was uninspired

which genuinely perplexed  and disturbed him 

oddly reminding him of City of Angels when Cages character said to Ryans  I dont know what a pear taste like to you

he wouldnt presume to tell her that life all around her all around him should be inspiration enoughinduced awe  from its smallest slightest dings to its most enormous aspectsif you really stopped to look and see

he couldnt tell her  softpedal that he was ripe with it riddled through and through  its tines stuck out of him like insect antennae  he was overwhelmed  and tickled insensate 

it was  and he was   everywhere


he didnt mouth a word of it  he didnt wish to seem condescending

                                                       because when she became enthralled
it cascade out of her she flung paint from her fingertips and slashed the room crafted marvelous canvases vigorously shaped clay chiseled stone worked wood there wasnt anything that didnt become malleable or want to be malleable in her skilled and knowing hands  nothing that didnt want to be rent and torn and reconfigured by her utter perception and possession of what it ought to and should be and became

she was a brilliant scintillating fire that burned down everything around her and then she dressed the Phoenix  glasses nearly fainting when they were demanded to reflect it

but even then she complained she couldnt keep up with her process

Write it down he urgedhe was tempted to scold her

Writing down works for you she said

Then an abbreviated sketch onto the next a shorthand catalogue to revisit to remind you capture its essencealbeit softened

No  I cant Thats not how I workI cant   I cant do that

Could you try

I cantNo  I cant

she said it with conviction

convicted   she couldnt wouldnt

but that would have to be his frustration  and he made a point of it not to venture there unless he followed her 

then it became her travail  she was bwana     he became her pack animal

she almost convinced him that he was more fortunate than others that all he needed was the seed the kernel of his concept and that he wasnt disturbed when it evolved on its own into something other than what he originally saw
and scribbled

he didnt have to own it 

she had to own hers

and she was right  he shouldnt try to make his process hers

at their end she had to be more deliberate than he  more in control   more responsible

then however  he didnt have a sense of finalitythings always seemed to him to evolve

they played that part of him when he said  Its harder to hit a moving target

he embraced their evolution

it was sufficient he planted it  and tended it

if it wasnt what he imagined at its onset he wouldnt stomp it to bear his impresionado or let it lie fallow  or kill it

whatever form it took it had begun in his handsshe should understand that

it was a facet of himself that otherwise he might have never seen

1349,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  21  12. 16

City of Angels  Pear  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHckzPJuPKw