Theres something I have to do

Ill be back when Im back

Day-between-Two-Ts,  29  8. 18

as life dribbles away

                       would we rather it had happened in one fantastic gush? 

or would that now-impossible-fantasy neutralise or negate the desperate long hard-fought battle we waged for our life  ourselves  our families members   who never asked us to fightwe fought without them asking
we didnt have to  

our minds fought

our bodies fought   we neglected to recognise its fragility 

fighting  and failing

thats the questionisnt it the question those of us who are healthy rarely reflect uponwe rarely want to ever turn over that rock and see the natural decay the crawling bugs hidden beneath it   

a frank coercion stays our footprefers we NOT stir up a sleepy colony of ants hive of bees nest of hornets you must recognise your insectual analogy the creepycrawly infusion bore by reality our innate fear  lifes inevitability

our agonisinginhibiting factuality

we try our utter best to deny and defy

                                         denying and defying as much as we ignore the mechanical automation of our next breath

              until it catches in our throats and we gasp bugeyed

                                                                      that we assume will come because it has come thoughtlessly thanklessly the entirety of our lives 

                                          what? when it is suddenly abysmally scarce

and bugeyed we see farther and deeper than we have ever seen before

                                                                            because we are seeing our last    ?

as life . . . 

1558,  Sunday,  26  8. 18