he went to ask what they were watching when he recognised that it was a reality television show on ABC its ghostly imprimatur in the lower righthand corner of the screen

the imprimatur reminded him of dried cat piss the discolouration the odor  it smelled like ABC

                                                                                                    JesusChrist he thought by now reality television would have died

he didnt have a TV he hadnt watched TV in twenty years except for professional football and hockey at a bar

he recalled the first shows that fascinated his wife and daughters Come! Sit down. Watch it with us.

he had a book to read  Ill sit with you

what he overheard was drivel spastic baby drool splashed on the small screen

somehow they ate it up and chided him for not watching

he laughed

            I think Im providing an excellent example of how not to submit to peer pressure

they didnt laugh they were abuzz at the nonsense they witnessed

Its not reality Any time someones got a camera on you and youre aware of it youre acting youre fake

                                                                                                           What was real that you just watched Youre watching the producers reality loosely-scripted encouraging particular outcomes fomenting phony drauma

Drauma, Dad, it’s drama.

Drauma Drama plus trauma

                               Im not interested in it Id rather read than watch that on television

they were ardent fans

twenty years later they were still watching it

                                                and yet he still couldnt understand their adamancy to have him sit with them ignoring it  and ignoring them

he didnt try to make them read

their choice

as he was welcome to his choice

he never understood the attraction

                                    perhaps it is the opiate of the masseshis coworkers frittered away breaks and lunches talking about the numerous shows the many characters the reality celebrities

if he entered the breakroom and overheard it he refreshed his coffee and kept right on going

he didnt ask any more than they would have asked him what he was reading

still his family tried to encourage him

Please Dont try to infect me Not going to happen I got books to read

he had workouts to do swimming to do saunas to take he had no time for inane productions

Life was too short

0711,  Monday,  17  2. 20

1212,  Thursday,  20  8. 20

Beatles  Let It Be  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYfEBY9NM4

he wondered how long hed been doing it mebbe innarested knowing since when since there was no end in sight 

he was good at doing things without knowing when they would end

he didnt look up head down
                                head down also applies to what happened before

he could probably backtrack – if he had time – who has that time – if he went through the reams of pages and notes  through the times days months years laid one on top the other like a perverse calendar
                                                                                            single leaf multiple leaves
stacks clutches side by sidemebbe three feet high on the long wall behind him

an exgirlfriend didnt attack him in anger
                                         she hit him below the beltdidnt women know that wasnt cool 

she strewn the pilesscattered them helter-skelter  

he didnt have time to shuffle the pages in order again

she said
          Just be happy I didnt burn ‘em.

an ex because she cheated on him  she thought he was cheating on her

like he ever had that kind of time or want

mebbe she forgot or wasnt listening when he told hershowed her repeatedly  he acted out of need   not want

You’re not ambitious.

Cheatings ambitious

Just be happy I didn’t burn them.

Had you Idve fingered you for it  an never look back

he tried not to let the turmoil bother him

he didnt need help creating disorder if thats what he wanted
                                                                 he didnt want

his book were similar stacked

he used clean typewriter paper folded in half to mark the page where he stopped

the paper was in case he found a passage he couldnt let go of
                                                                  he either made a notation what pagewhat paragraph or scribbled the words that inflamed him

hed use the compelling words then added his two cents always crediting the writer

every book he collected provoked him addled him

it was edifying the more he knew the less he knew

the books were gospel they were as necessary to him as was breathing eating urinating defecating
                                                                                                         none he did absently he tried always to be invested in the moment

when he revealed that in conversation he explained that if he genuinely appreciated his food and drink how could he pass without appreciating it again

he loved to shit just not after he showeredFuckno

No 
       he wouldnt look uplook ahead

he was going to be grateful for what he hadwhat would come

                                                                        unexpectedly

2109,  Monday,  17  2. 20

1639,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  8. 20

Joe Henderson  Chelsea Bridge  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mL-KEK_aY8

ceviche

cervixes or cervices

                          vixens  vices

his host served clam ceviche

hed only had fish before

                         though he wouldntve batted an eye if he was served cervix ceviche

Cervix ceviche? You’re a sick puppy.

Hey coffee tastes better when someone makes it for youeverything tastes better if its made for you 

                                                                                                        Bloody Marys martinis pasta barbecue fruit pies blueberry pancakes sausages tri-tip sweetbreads kidneys

when someone treats you

    --  24 349 47  -- 

                              it wasnt tickertape it didnt scroll

we do not treat or accommodate machines

                                           rather not yet although  a computer tucked away inside it   we may have to

he liked machines that turned On turned Off

had a set function

                    a singular functionfewer moving parts  the least moving parts possible

more parts more interactions more probelms not misspelled  more can go wrong  ON – OFF

even then he disliked them

he was terribly fond of hand tools 

he wasnt treated often

that might be his excuse

0415—ish,  Monday,  17  2. 20

1202,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  8. 20

Black Sabbath  Changes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LMog_UTd9E