3.11.21

 
You know . .
. . NO

his feathers startledthey ruffled looked like an excited grouse


You going to let me finish wha . .
. . No


. . . What, what I was going to say?

Why
      a dour chalkish fog coated his feathers
Ya really havent noticed that every time you start with You know I shut ya down


No, I hadn’t.

Brother

I think, no, no I know . . you misunderstand me.

Misunderstand explainhowever brieflybriefly when you begin Ya know yare making an assumption Ya gotta quit with thatwhen your boy visits hes all over you when ya persist

Yes, yes he is, he’s quick on me, but that has nothing to do with you and me . . 
. . Actually it does Its immediately why I say NO

his eyes grew largepierced his feathers
                                          May I?
nonchalant Please

When I say you misunderstand me, I’m actually saying . . DO you kno . .
. . STOP  No DO

The Do is understood.
                        a deer caught in headlights stunned eyes couldnt try selling bland better than he was now with his look atop his preposterous remark

Ya thinkin of running for office Christ
                                        No Do Not understood Not anywhere in the English language

It’s implied . Do you know . . You know.

A question an assertion are not the same thing 
                                                 Save it for an ignoramus
no sooner than their exchange a small junior high Hispanic boy approached them and asked if they had a dollar he could have

he said No

grouse asked what he needed a dollar for

the boy said he wanted to buy a bagelhe didnt have any money  his parents werent coming to pick him up for another hour was he gonna starve to death

grouse went into his pocket he had cashseparated a couple of dollar bills he gave one to the boykept the other in his hand and told the boy hed follow him in he was going to get a coffee refill
                                                                               Excuse me, what do you say when someone gives you a dollar? made your dreams come true
Huh?

Don’t you say thank you?

Ohyeah. Thank you for the dollar.

Yes. You know . . muchas gracias, muchas gracias.
                                                      the boy looked confused he repeated Thank you.

he looked up at his buddy as he stood and laughed at him

What . what are you laughing at?

When yare back



moments later a teenaged boy in black jeans gym shoes black hoodie drawnup over his head hiding his face approached two girl who were seated at a table beside him
                                                  he grabbed the chair his buddy had been sitting in and turned it to sit beside the girls
HEY 
     the kid heardhis head motioned but he ignored him

he stood up crossed to the kid and rapped him in the ribs with the back of his hand Up Out Before you help yourself to an unoccupied chair you ask if its being used  ask if you may

as the kid stoodhe swept it out from under his ass before he moved
                                                                       he didnt acknowledge him
no skin off his ass
he set the chair back in place


his buddy came out of the coffee shop preceded by the kid with a bagel

he walked over and sat down
                                So why did you laugh at me as I went in for a refill?

Ever occur to you man that that kid may not understand Spanish
                                                                     Looks can be deceivingI mean yare smarter than you look

1550,  Twosday,  2  11. 21
1437,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  11. 21

 
not the first time he butchered a lyric
                                            he heard
Rise the amorous to the rapture verse alligator
                                                  which made perfect sense to him anyone who bought into rapture verseBiblical verse  would be reptilian
though evidently 
                 sites he Googled made no bones he was wrong they quoted the lyricist
Rise the amorous to the rapturous alligator


he was watchingreading subtitles Oslo August 31st  the song played in the background that he knewknew it was Moloko messed with his head he wasnt that familiar with the band though he was with their song Ho HUMM

he was able to temper his head thoughit stuffed with useless informationtrivia which tickled him to no end
                                                                                                                the scene the music backedup was heavy a frank revealing conversation between two old friends men  about suicide
men commit suicide 3.63X more often than women
                                                     women attempt suicide 2.00x to 4.00x more than men that wide berth is because attempted suicides often go unrecorded   RING RING RINGclick  Hello? Hello? Oh, hello . . ahyes, yes, I wanted to call to say I survived my suicide attempt.  Name?  Ohno thank you. click


might-be suicides
                   he didnt hung out or seek themunfortunately some people he knew who died were preferredWHY the fuck if he knew  were preferred to be known as suicides rather than junkies   

he understood they were unfortunate overdoses

it made sense to try a scosh more the next timeexceed what they enjoyed prior particularly if it had been a sweet high theyperhaps had no sense that the last time their toes may have been over the edgemaybe they attitude was in reclineheld in check by heavy inertia or unaware they were tallupright shoulders forward not copping any sense of gathering momentum
                        a greedy abyss at their feet

he mourned them


he didnt think of them as overdoses junkies suicides
they had names
                he said their names when he talked about them

when he did others were uncomfortable
                                         Why do you have to talk about them? They’re gone.

They were our friends part of my lifeWhy wouldnt I

Ill talk about you that never went over well

2121,  ReggaeFriday,  29  10. 21
1022,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  11. 21
Soft Machine  Hidden Details  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF83kKEZMe8