the old woman kept pushing up
against what she thought was her leverage her short leash about her daughters
throat that she pulled taut and let slack as she thought fit heeling her
daughter then allowing her her head
and to breathe
she desperately wanted to kill
any sense of autonomy her daughter held
this the old woman did out of
sight of him
she lived(if she wanted to call
her shut-in-ness living) in a different community than he
he understood
her daughter understood the leash
a leash her mother unfurled when
she was a small girl
he understood that her daughter
understood the ease her mother lied about everything
the smallest thing
when they had to go out together her
mother kept the ignorant ignorant flawlessly playing her part in public humiliating her daughter
before their sympathetic tsk tsk that
her daughter was remote selfish and unconcerned regarding her mothers
misfortunate infirmities
they wouldnt treat their mothers
if they were still alive as badly as this attractive young woman was treating
hers
they didnt know the mother exacerbated
her infirmities
she flatly refused to do things her
doctors suggested which would help her physically mitigate them
why would she
isnt
that why she took the drugs they prescribed
the drugs were supposed to
correct her maladies
the extent required of her was to
take them timely with a sip of water and sometimes with food(better living
through chemistry)
in telephone calls her daughter
made to him he was reduced to offering Someone ought to give her an Oscar
Shes a miserable fake and a liar
She is
the receiver went quiet
he had nothing more to say
he waited
What am I to do
I suppose youll play your part
until you tire of playing it
Shes not going to changeWhy
should she
Im enabling herYou should say so
I have said so I said so long ago
I wont whip a dead horse
This is maddening
It is
And
then one day youll have enough and youll stop
And then
And then
shell still not understand
What
shell know is that youre an ungrateful bitch a wretched bitch and selfishly youre
abandoning her
I cant win
Its not about winning
despite your mother competing with youShes intent on winning the
pissing matches she creates in her mind
You cant compete
I wont compete
She
thinks keeping you from me she winning something She thinks shes getting up on me
Dont get me wrong
I adore our time together
But when youre not here I dont think
about why you arent I do everything I
want to doyou might say selfishly
Your mother never crosses my mind
Its not that I dislike her
I dont think of her
But shes my mo . .
. . Im a father and I would never treat
my daughters how she treats you
Never
1444, Thursday,
11 8. 16
1256, Friday,
12 8. 16
John Lennon Mother
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDVkkwl6aJo
