He sat numb
leaned forward heavily
on a card table with his head in his right
his hand was at his crown into
his scalp
his fingers wound in his long hair
his hair wet from a cool shower
shampooed herbal smelling
not his shower or shampoo
a cigarette smouldered threw a
thin shadow off the sunlight coming inside through an opened window to
his left
outofdoors unseen seabirds
hustled and cried
always complaining
always
harsh guttural
made him
feel bad for their lot
their
seeming displeasure with every little thing
they argued over scraps over their violated space in the blue air
but maybe just maybe they laughed raucously hoarsely when freshfed they shat on someone trying
to sunbathe
a can of beer sweated beside his
elbow inside the cigarette laying in a cheap shallow glass ashtray
so cheap it didnt throw an arc or the slip of
a prism onto the green vinyled tabletop where the sun struck it
the beer wasnt his brand either
in the whole of the room what was
his
were
his filthy bluejeans a tired t-shirt the paper and cellophaned Navy Cut pack
nearly full
a matchbook advertising a realtor
and himself
he often tried to give himself
away
but takers didnt hold onto him
too long
either showing him the door or
him making a jailbreak
shatting on their momentarily relaxed mien
shatting on their momentarily relaxed mien
absently he was pushing jigsaw puzzle pieces around the
table with his pinkie
uncommitted to grasping any or placing them
he pushed intersecting pieces
together side by side and left them uncoupled like train cars at a siding
it wasnt his puzzle to build
he could choose not to
the cover of the puzzle box on
the hardwood floor boasted 750 pieces
he wondered if the artist who created
the original reproduced before him recognised their effort
was going to be cut up
albeit cleverly artfully hewed as puzzles were
if they were informed
or if they had no say
namas
or if they had no say
namas
the uncut piece on the
boxcover was elegant
making for an sensational jigsaw
puzzle
its shadowing and blush tuned into a clever incoherence produced by the machined thin razor cuts
the like
the
puzzle
reminded
him of himself his life
how many hundreds maybe thousands of pieces he had made it into
without alignment
narrative
there were reasons that could fit together
seamlessly perfectly
reasons why
he was unencumbered untenable didnt own a pair of shoes
how
he liked to see his breath in smoke and it waft away on currents of blue air
watched how the sun
changed inside every rolling wave
tumbling
like the individual grains of sand beneath them
he promised
when someone reconstructed
the landmasses with the sand that was made from them
then hed let the puzzle he was be built too
in the meantime from eviction to
eviction and jailbreak to jailbreak
his pieces would remain
unchained
1346, Hoxie Saturday, 19 9. 15
