six framed items hung on the wall

three were certificatesvirtually the same size he supposed certificates were standard-sized

the one in the middle was handmade and deftlyminutely embellished with paint

right of the three certificates were first a black-and-white photograph of an aeroplane a small private propeller craft  then a coloured cartoon he paid no attention to  its caricatures cleverthough not funny and lastly a militaristic Nationalist poster a brusque helmeted soldier carrying a rifle by its strap over his shoulder faced right  he was exercised and marched before a backdrop of unfurled flagsred and white stripedwhite stars on a blue field static though undulating  featured to either side of the soldier and looking like wings asif he were an angel

                                                                                                   very patriotic  propagrandistic  Colour Me Comrade

what is also patriotic is not taking the bait not enlisting not convinced that actions soldiers are ordered to perform are for the defense of the nation but rather imperialistic armed solicitation 6 November 2001 You’re either with US, or you’re against US . . Bush famously said  anwhile he knew the president and Cheney and Rumsfeld were desperately wrong had cooked the books masturbated vigourously lubed with blood  touted terrorism torture Abu Graib a huge butthurt majority of Americans bought in hook line and sinker 

                                                        an International Intelligence and Interpol matter gutted  its flames fanned furiously for war

                          he never saw the smarts of becoming Government-Issued or following ordersgagged unable to challenge or question the reasons why

                                         to throw himself over and acquiesce

each of the frames hung awkwardly not in a line not spaces asif hung by a drunkard or someone careless just to hang them kinda like lynchings although each right corner was higher than its left they leaned on the wall

                                                                                                           perhaps the first hung was the template that set the illhangings in motion the hanger didnt step awaystep back and see their mistakes

but six in a row inside seven feet of wall the imbalance was unmistakably

the hanger must not have cared

the six frames hanging uncorrected was like having illmannered children who werent cracked on the ass to straighten them out

          so they did as they pleased

so much for discipline

2234,  Saturday, Pi-Day,  14  3. 20

1311,  Sunday,  6  9. 20

6 November 2001  https://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/11/06/gen.attack.on.terror/

                        

he had countless fond memories however when he closed his eyes and listened he heard his Maws humour her laughter

he remembered her happy scoldings tongue-in-cheek admonishing him often how terrible he was which by her accusation meant she was on fully onboard fully cognizant of the scenarios he painted for her

                                                                                                   but what he happily remembered were the nights while he was a teenager when it was bedtime  he and his parents climbed the stairs at the old house to sleep

                        shortly  from behind his parents closed bedroom door he could hear the muffled murmur of their conversations -- which was always a comfort -- then suddenly they were interruptednot unexpectedly by a sharp barkthe sound of his mothers laughter.

when it subsidedbut for a moment hed hear his father murmur something then hed erupt in his own laughter Maw never answered him she laughed in reply and laughing over his father shed go off the deepend long sustained laughter -- he could almost see her wiping tears from her cheeks with her hands -- her laughter would continue unabatednearly breathless as did his fathers

it was a happy happy chorus to listen to Hell hed laugh as he listened to them through the wall

he never did learn what they were laughing about -- it wasnt important -- but what will colour his memoriesalways  is her laughter their laughter

simply  it is music

0809,  Friday,  13  3. 20

1040,  Sunday,  6  9. 20

Say it ain’t so, Joe, please say it ain’t so . . .

                                               he triedhe tried to lie

                                                                       tried to let himself off the hookslip his hurt defy the anguish that unmercifully rend his heart

which he had been enduring

                               

he couldnt lie

hed cut his throat with his fathers straight razor before denying witness

the music caught him unsuspecting as music often can

                                                           out of some quarter playing a jukebox out of the speaker of a passing car from out of a house or apartment window as someone inside sang offkey

Murray Head

               Say it ain’t so, Joe . . .

                                        he was walking the song arrested him his hand fell from the strap of the canvas bag he carried over his shoulder

his strength went out of it he felt his bones wanting to go out come undone so hed slouch like a scarecrow and birds could take pieces of him and make nests make him feel useful like he could do something right again if nothing more than serving as fodder

                        though his legs denied himthey wouldnt fold
they resisted a gravity he exacerbatedweighing him down

Say it aint so, Joe  they sang

he wished he could

he wished terribly that he could

                                  lie

he wished he could

                   wished he could have saved her life

a wish he made

                  that Death would take him rather than his daughter

but she was a prize why would it  Death is greedy

                                                        it wasnt like he was an apple for apple

It laughed cruelly in its throat  a part of its panoply 

                                                       as was there is no enticing it

It had exactly what it came for

It wouldnt let go

he saw that

            terribly she saw that too

she knew better than he

her eyes smiled through her tears

                                    asif to say It’s alright; it’s alright, Dad. to comfort him

comfort wouldnt be his for a long time

a car passed closeby as he stood unflinching at the curb to cross a street his body swayed sullenly in its draft but his spine cinched it tightened his legs threatening it

2343,  Friday,  6  3. 20

1635,  Saturday,  5  9. 20

Murray Head  Say it Ain’t So  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IT5cqphuqoU

Free  Wishing Well  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLSAGnHNqGc