Awshit

            had to bitch about rites of passage theyre supposed to be had as a kid

Nope it freakin rears up and bites him in the ass

he got a robocall from the pharmacy

                                      his prescription Thats a hoot doc my prescription is ready to be pickup

he walked over pulled a paperback from the shelves Candy to read as he walked for shits and giggles he went back to it every fourfive years it reminded him of high school study hall freshman year his buddy Mark he was failed in grade school so a year older freshman a real pervert should have seen the storage he kept at the back of his closet  Mark got a copy into his hands he read it holding it inside a textbook  fooled the monitor

at the pharmacy it occurred to him

                                     there were many things in his life that escaped his notice contemporaneously just didnt pay them no mind

                          when he was a kid all the pharmacists save his favourite were myopic older men wearing white jackets their names embroidered on their breasts reminded him of his Dads bowling shirt  Botch  Can I help you, young man?

       standing in line he eyeballed the four pharmacists behind the counter he was healthydidnt take medications as a matter of fact at his annual checkups he wrote down the vitamins and supplements he took in lieu of medication which inevitably precipitated the nurse to return to him soft empathy oozing out of her or his eyes Joe, I think you misunderstood, on this portion of the form we need you to list the medications you’re taking.

                                                                                Oh yare so sweet like chocolatecovered candy a nougat center I don take medications

                                         it was a bit shock and awe the pharmacists were young very attractive women one of his internal morons spoke  Go ahead now, which is your favourite treat, I’ll bet she ends up helping you.   I cant decide   Kinda like being in a pastry shop or as a kid in a candy store with your nose pressed up against the glass.   Very kinda

                                                                                                                     frankly to himself an aside his moron couldnt pickup on it reminded him of the time he picked up a Playboy at the newsstand for shits and giggles an it wasnt funny at all he was threefour years older than the centerfold 

                                                                                               although  ancorrectly the difference was a matter of being a virgin not having sex then having all the sex he could handle

                                                                                                     anthen some

he selected his favourite pharmacist tall equine longneck  highbreasts

moron seconded it

                    I knew it! Mine too!

the attendant motioned to him to step up You’re next.

he gave her his name 

she excused herself then returned with his prescription rang him up Do you need a consultation with one of the pharmacists?

I do

If you step to your right, to the next window, I’ll have one speak to you shortly.

Thank you very much

You’re welcome. Next.

She coming?

Shaddup moron

She coming now?

                   I think we ought to make a bet.

A bet

Doncha think?

Whadaya got to bet

I . . got . .

. . Bupkis

Lotsa bupkis. DAMN.

                      A gentleman’s wager?

We arent gentlemen

No. We’re not.

               How do scoundrels bet?

Bet Nah  They cheat

                       Lets see if we get luck  Ya feelin lucky punk

Dirty Harry!

Thas my boy

they crushed it

                 Our girl!

Woman

Ohshityah, our woman!

Good afternoon, I understand you’re unfamiliar with your she turned the prescription in her hand Tadalafil

Aint that a pip TADAlafil  Cialis he laughed deeplynot of embarrassment just for the joy of its generic name 

                                                                                                                          he glanced at her name embroidered on her hygienicwhite jacket breast

                                                              Ciara she looked up from the package and into his eyes Good The things we do for love

1621,  ReggaeFriday,  22  10. 21

1149,  Sunday – HAPPY HALLOWEEN,  31  10. 21

from behind someone bumped his shoulder

                                              A penny for your thoughts.

he hafturned laughed

                        Bruce ya sneakinup on me

A herd of elephants could sneak up on you. I walked past the window, you were looking out, I thought you saw me, I waved. You kept looking, you didn’t. I haven’t nowhere to be so I thought I’d take a chance and come in, have a cup of coffee with you. You weren’t writing, I looked at your table and didn’t see any paper or pen.

he cleared his throat he hadnt talked with anyone today save the attendant to order black coffee in a mug

                                                                                                                No  No  Got em here but Im thinking just now

Again, a penny for your thoughts.

Ante up

Bruce laughed

                Who carries money let alone change these days? I got plastic, you accept VISA or MasterCard?

Gimme a moment

                   he pushed back away from the table  rose   walked aimlessly around the shop his head down  stopped  squattedpicked up something  walked back to the table

                                                                      he held out his hand  nickel dime two pennies  handing a penny to Bruce he sat againpulled the chair closer to the cafe table

                                                                                 Now ante up

Bruce laughed again pushed the penny under his fingertip across the table to Joe

                                                                                       A penny for your thoughts.

his turn to laugh

                  I should have thought to negotiate  Idiot  This pennyll buy you more than you care to hear

I’ll be the judge of that.

Nah yare fidgetyyouve always been Couldnt sit still when we were kids Make a side betfive bucks Ohwait  never mind  I wouldnt be able to collect for a while Nevermind

I said I’ll be the judge of that.

Ive prejudged you Minority Report Philip K. Dick Precrime

I didn’t know you had such low expectations of me.

Its your penny

                Remember Im just thinking  but were getting off track

I was thinking about the outbreak of STDs in old age homes Gawd Bless Em

What are you talking about?

You hadnt heard

                  Imagine  Eighty years oldpossibly with the same man or woman your whole life children family  get your ass parked in a homeNOW  you contract an STDyour first  Wasnt a risk your whole life prior  Then infected in a facility

        I don know if thats ironic black humour or just fucking hilarious

Jesus, Joe, I . ah . . no, hadn’t heard . . though it ain’t funny.

You don think thats funnyI think its a scream

                                                Like a man being born into a womans body or a woman in a mans think more often the latter  It would take that kind of woman to emasculate themselves

                                                                                      I appreciate their dilemmaI do  But also got to appreciate that Gawds got a fucked up sense of humour  an some people get on their knees to Him  at least you knew where you stood if you crossed a Greek god or goddess  Theyd turn you into a worm or stone at a glance  make you have sex with animals  and an Like it

Jesus, man.

Your penny  But I have a solution

                                     When my daughter was an RA resident advisor in college on her livingroom coffee table she had this huge glass globe fishbowl  I walked up to it  inside were all these colourful wrappers  I thought they were individually wrapped chocolates  a place card before it  Help Yourself

Chocolates, huh, bet she saw lots of residents with that as bait.

She did see lots of residents

                              They were condomsfuckin Glow-in-the-Dark Flavoured Studded Ribbed Warming Pleasure-Shaped Coloured Kiss-of-Chocolate Kiss-of-Mint French Ticklers Tingling Pleasure condoms for both partners fuckinfucking Edible condoms

                               I helped myself  At the very least had to replace the one in my wallet

You what?

I helped myself Why not  Kids today lack rites of passagestolen out from under them

Rites of Passage?

Yah

What rites?

Having to go to a pharmacy buy rubberstheyre kept behind the counter ask a pharmacists help

                                                                                                    But Ill go one betterId bet no fuckin American male would do this to become a man

To become a man.

Rite of Passageits a fuckin rite of passage  Do not pass Go Do not collect twohunred dollars

                                                                                                 Yes to become a man

Alright, listening, I’m listening.

                                Not one American male.

No  Not one

             Maasai tribe  Kenya  Of old  A boy had to kill a lion with a spear

Spartan agoge  thirteen year training starts at seven  It means raising

                                                                            Not one American male 

Boys and girls gypped

What’s a girl’s rite of passage?

Ask a girl

           Anso  not to get off the beaten pathconclude my tirade ailing STD-dosed elders  the leg up 

                                                                                                            A big glass globe fishbowl of colourful individually wrapped Viagra Cialis Levitra Stendra  anfor the wholesome nonchem souls in another globe they can chew on Tribulus T-levels baby  Maca Red ginseng Fenugreekthats a fun onehuh Saffron Ginkgo biloba L-citrulline  also abundant in watermelon  watermelon   watermelon

What are you doing?

Riffin just riffin

                 This is exhaustingfucking penny for your thoughts

Although you didnt bug

                          Mustve been the sex

Sex sells.

It do at dat

  

1621,  ReggaeFriday,  22  10. 21

1231,  Saturday,  30  10. 21

10cc  The Things We Do for Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qycxTpMb5U