they watched The Bachelor together while they had dinner off TV trays

they rolled their eyesat least the adults did a guilt pleasure and cautioned the girls throughout how ridiculous and absurd people can be to be aware

it was curious to use The Bachelor as a cautionary tale

he though supposed The Bachelors production and comic absurdity helped offset and quietedif only for two hours the dramatic absurdity that strangled their circumstances and lives

The Bachelor was over in a listed scheduled time

                                                    cliffhangers intrigue included

theirs was not

                 they were doing their damnedest to extend their Airtime

0349,  Thursday,  20  2. 20

1553,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  8. 20

she had machines all around her

machines with numerical readouts that told him physically where she was

he saw

         he knew

and she had him communicate to her where she was

Aniela always had to have her finger on the pulsethe numbers

                                                                   a bookkeeper a fiduciary

she would

he didnt want to know every detail but he did

it was macabre

he wasnt sure he ever wrote macabre before

0330,  Thursday,  20  2. 20

1150,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  8. 20

Not Ever

she had no time to herself

while she was conscious

she was watched

while she slept

she was watched

she had been a private woman

now she had no privacy

to urinate or defecate

she was watched

if they werent watchingused the bathroom themselves

while she catnapped

if she woke alone

she panicked

she rang a doorbell with her toe that they installed on her bed

because she couldnt cry out

she couldnt talk

she didnt have the use of her arms

she was helpless
                   as a newborn babe  with forty years of living in her head

she knew what they knew

she – perhaps – feared what they feared

theyd never truly know her fear

he could only speak for himself

he was with her when she drew her first breath

he feared – terribly – her last breath

                                       but he had no choice
he did not

he never ever imagined these circumstances

                                                 not ever

she was breaking his heart

taking pieces with her

not ever to return

0255,  Thursday,  20  2. 20
1954,  Twosday,  25  8. 20