19.12.20



he buried a wee bird in his backyard today under a sun penetrating the grey mist of a lying sky
                                                                                                    thered be no rain
it was California

he found the little beast on his front porch last year

it had been batted aboutfeathers scatteredbirdshit smeared by two ferals who cornered it between the front wall of his house and a bushel basket 
                              the bushel basket he laid a blanket in for the comfort of one of the cats seven years ago
much can be made of wild instincts

Yes words came and stuck in his earsWalk away  This is hopeless  This is Natural    Walk away

he didnt heed his advisecouldnt help himselfhe interceded  he scooped the bird up
                                                                                       it collapsed in his hands without fret

it was small a nestling perhaps fallen out what struck him was how large its feet were

 

he carried it inside the house and placed it in a shoebox and set it atop of his refrigerator uncovered  he set inside it a small shallow pan filled with water then went back outside and walked the perimeter of his yard beneath the trees surrounding his house looking for a nest or for anxious birdsdistraught parents or a hen

it was fruitless


returning to the house he found three of his indoor cats prowling around an upholstered chair just inside and left of the front door
           he draped a Mexican blanket over it because it was a threadbare seventy years old a mustardcoloured swiveledrocking chair he held his girls in when they were babes
                                                                     he didnt let memories escape easily

beneath the chair he found the nestling

it leapt from on top the frig to the linoleum six feet below and either found its way beneath the chair or found it haven to escape his cats

the later he assumed 
                     there was a smattering of birdshit and feathers as evidence

it collapsed again in the hold of his hands as he scooped it up

he went outside directly 
                           handcuffed      responsible  

the nestling shook uncontrollably

he could relate

at least he had a jackknife to defend himself 

he slashed at hands and arms

had they come nearer he would have stabbed

they back away

they said theyd remember himremember his face 
                                                  asif hed forget theirs 


the nestling trembling the whole time suddenlyspasmed rolled fitfully onto its backarched threefour times 
                                                                                                                 and died
 
died


he wept at its hopelessness

wept 
        that it didnt have a knife to defend itself

2330,  Thursday,  17  12. 20
1123,  Saturday,  19  12. 20