pensive choked on his heart

                                  confessed I went through old photographs today  wipedknuckled tears out of his eyes

Why?  Why would you do that to yourself?

                                               Ya had to know it’d hurt.

    I did

Coudnt help myself was necessary

Necessary?

                  What for?you look like shit.

                                                                                     

I learned something

                       I have no clue why I didnt see it before Stupidfuckin stupid   Shoud have known

Im a piece of shit

Hold on, hold on a moment.

                               Does all it fall on your shoulders?you utterly responsible?

    Cant be responsible when youre dead canya

ice cold water

trying to be sympathy What was it you learned?

We should have gone back to the beginning  We dated

                                                            But tha wasnt enough

We shoud have reminisced  Shoud have returned to wha made us  wha   why I proposed why we fell in love

Why we married

    Why we let life buffalo us push us  On

Pushes everyone from behind

We got too involved with tomorrowswha we planned to come around the corner

    Forget to cast an eye back 

                                    Forgot to remember

he got tearyeyed

                Good point ya got a good point.

Jaysus.

 

You ever go through your albu . .

. . No.   No I do not.

                       The only reason they exist is because I was honing, keeping my eye. Was making good money on the side as a photographer. Shooting family kept me sharp for gigs.

    But you don look

No.

Imagine youve offered them to the boys

They don’t want them.

Burnem

    I can’t do that.

They don wantem

Were celluloid ghosts otherwise

                                 Whos tha  Ive no idea     Family

Two generations from now family will mean shit

    That’s pretty grim.

You said it

               Grim

1441,  reggaefriday,  27  6. 25

1913,  Wednesday,  2  7. 25

gandygoin’ 

                 had a good guess

kirkyard

            could deduce “At their mother’s funeral . . . brothers . . . had been so drunk on their way to the kirkyard that they left the body behind.”   churchyard   cemetery

cherry-checkit apples

                              cherry-cheeked was written midEighteenth century  Scotland

Tobias Smollett The Expedition of Humphry Clinker  nurro geak

                                                                                     optimised nary a geek

banjaxed had to look it up   ruined 

                                         Irish

he was bettering his vocabulary

                                            better than battered buttered befouled besmirched buh buh buh

“Learning”

             said theoretical physicist Carlos Rovelli “is about unlearning things we think we know.”   

while not entirely applicable to words the thought astonished him

                                                                       his fervent humanist wish was more people would get onboard read write  put their smartphones aside away or at least minimise their use dust social medias quit apps   Microsoft relentlessly badgers him when he turns off his computer  Recommended Install WhatsApp 

loved his fixed PC had Airplane Mode

     programmed couldnt find its ass if it had hands

                                                            Send in the Drones

he hadnt contended with such malfeasance since catechism

nuns had hands

nuns had no sense of humour

when he laughed at hilarious Biblical stories he was marched into the hallway opposite the open classroom door which revealed her seated at her desk standing at the chalkboard behind it

they had him kneel on a broomstick 

fortunately he was but spit of a boy

he made his First Holy Communion

his parents were thrilled  proud

                                    they encouraged him to pursue Confirmation

with a wry smile

                   Mom  Dad  Thall be a cold day in Hell

their vernacular

he said An idiom

that he knew disturbed them

    they didnt push it

 

WORDS   

1237,  Sunday,  29  6. 25

1417,  Wednesday,  2  7. 25

Judy Collins  Send in the Clowns  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L6KGuTr9TI

they were fueled on pralines and grass  

he on hash

offered him one at the getgo he didnt like its shit tan crystalline look

cautiously took a small bitespat it out

                                       What are you doing? they howled

Too sweet don like it

It’s New Orleans, man. Nothing more Creole than pralines, city’s famous for it.

Have at it I aint steppin on anyones toes

one said Mine. I bought them to share.

Anya have I aint toxic took a nibble enjoy

                                                    Lets head over to the levee  Ive never seen one

on their way down he firedup a bowl they toked joints he divertedstopped bought a six-pak of Dixie packaged goods from a bar

                              blustered  Look boys something Narlins  Creole

pissed he hadnt shared pralines with them they declined a cold beer

                                                                           No  No skin off my ass

they strolled the levee a while

across the water an aircraft carrier was docked

Hey Ive an idea  A football game

                                     Since youve been actin like cunts Ill pickup five an well have a game

There's no football asshole.

Well use a Dixie

a clutch of black fellas were sitting on a picnic table

                                                         he walkedup to them  Hey guys  Care to side with me an play some ball against those clowns over there    

I got hash from Miamiwe fireup a bowl now I promise cold beers at games end

they had themselves a game

began twohand touch

devolved into tackle

sailors onboard yelledhowled laughed AAWEDgroaned at good hits  clapped

                                                                                  they had awfully good seats

he an his crushed them

Game over

              Dixie was dented dirty  warm

he walked offreturned with four cold six-paks in doubled brown bags

                                                                           even the cunts had a Dixie

sipping the warm one

                         he savoured it

 

was the only levee the only Mardi Gras hes been at

kept the empty can for years

asked his wife Hey  Wheres my Dixie

    I recycled it.    

2253,  Tuesday,  1  7. 25

0950,  Wednesday,  2  7. 25