Whoawhoa had to write this down

                                      reaching for the pen tucked behind his ear he fumbled it

it clattered on the sidewalk

leaning over to snatch it off the concreteheard a queer sound to his right mind whispered Animal vegetable mineral

Hold your tongue knaveDisrespect he spoke too soonknew better than shoot from the hip  five kingdoms of life animals plants fungi bacteria protists  latter includes all the single-celled forms that are not bacteria

   he heard life living

still bent over he looked rightlooked through a chainlinked fence he was face to face it cringed  therefore he had to accommodate a faceness a sunflower   bent over as he was

he slowly straightened

it mimed him

stood completely upright  six-one

                                  six-twothree sunflower its inflorescence ray florets disk florets bracts combined were bigger than his headbut not by much

a skinny dude  adolescent

                             then reading his mindthey were communicating that way

You’d be tempted to jump.

I would

Whose the cat

Soren like the name   Kierkegaard

Battleground   Existence

Yes Having to make either/or decisions every step of the way

Which you likened to trees

                            Their crowns rootsgive it a heftyspin no matter to you if it arrests one way or the other

No  Configured the same

                            One emergent bathed in air  other submergent cloaked in earth

Lets take it out furthur

Im listening 

             Like your Keseyspelling

Thanks 

        The constant choosing brings pervasive anxiety

Im not anxious

No Somehow youre not

                         Its likened to the vertigo that comes from looking over a cliff

Or from a very high place

                           No railing

Its not the fear of falling

No

The fear of being unable to trust yourself not to throw yourself off

   There is tha

You want to cling to something

No I said theres nothing to cling to  Theres no railing

You want to tie yourself down

No  How is tha free

   So you cant  secureyourself easily  against the dangers of being free

Enter Kierkegaards pronouncement 

                                      Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.  As we live on the edge of that Precipice

You know what you needgiven your admitted proclivity or temptation

I believe I do

   What

Roots bro 

              Roots

Took the words out of my . . . 

Inflorescence 

   That will have to suffice 

initially 1220,  Monday,  14  8. 23

1215,  2sday,  22  8. 23

1729,  2sday

he was gaga about finding appealing quoteslike finding a lost penny on the street or a hunred dollar bill which he did

though usually chumpchange but any change makes his day its unexpectedness and the stiff reality that some people are too fat or don care to stoplean over and pickup wha they dropped  trashed

he shared the quote with his girlfriendfelt it was meant exactly for her

William Carlos WilliamsWHO? 

                                dealbreaker  somebody didnt know who Williams was he didnt want to know somebody his family was the rare exception but he could tolerate them probably because he was first born

had he been third fourth fifth there were more  maybe not

but he topped the bill

 

it was his fault

                  when he linedup with all the other jamokes like preparing to parachute from a plane he saw over the  whaevers shoulder ahead of himsaw who they were getting as parents and behind them who his parent would be  he yanked whaever aside leapt into his parents arms could hear the cacophonythe outrage behind him  but it left his ears when the deliveryroom light spiked his opaque vision

                                                         he knew what the three of them were getting

the rest of the kids the motley crew the other eight saidwhen he asked about their birth  did they remember the line did they take what they gotdid they jump the gunlay back one or two spaces

they didnt know what the hell he was talking about

Sonofabitch  he cut them slack

                                         he was obliged  he was the eldest

he texted her 

               just read a quote by William Carlos Williams an it immediately reminded me of you, of your distinct beauty, why you’re so damn attractive to me: Beauty is a defiance of authority       

0936,  2sday,  22  8. 23

hed heave his weight behind practical experienceHANDS DOWN

not booklearning not theory not school grades  not ACT SAT act sattinround 

                                                                                 rather flesh an blood experience

 

Why’s he so gungho?

Ask’im.

You know?

Ask’im.

That’s not an answer.

Nor it a question you should be askin’ me.

I will.

Talk’s cheap.

three days later

Ya’sk?

   Not yet.

Talk’s cheap.

I will.

Ya’ve said.

Joe?

Yah

Could I ask you something?

Depends always depends

I’ve heard you only buy into practical experience, not promising bright boys and girls.

curtly nodded Yave heard right

How’s that.

Pillows

   Excuse me?

Deaf

     Pillows   Have any imagination

Some.

       Though apparently not at your scale.

Wanna give it a night to think about

No. No I don’t.

                 Could never sleep on anything.

Not a pillow he chuckled he saw the discomfort in his face likely hed been sitting on it for awhile they all did  Pulling your chain Im happy to explain

                            You been involved in a menage a trois

Thought about it. No.

I have several times  Practical experience

No doubt.

No None

          I slept regularly with two pillow Not under my head but to the sides of it I like sleeping flat he looked at him looking Whas thabout You sleep with pillows

I have one.

Makes sense

It does?

Yaint been party to a menage a trois

                                       Makes perfect sense 

I suppose.

he didnt have a clue I lived with a girl for almost a year We busted up She left her pillow I had three pillows Found I coudnt sleep with threecoudnt satisfy em  coudnt give em equal time an attention

Hence

        Why woud I try to sleep with three womensatisfy em  Because practical experience has told me I cant

Theory suggests otherwise

                            Anmaybe But not long term   I don play the short game

three days later

Ya’sk?

I did.  I did.

Pillows?

Yeah.

Makes any sense to you?

Not at first. Though it intrigued me.

                                        Curiously . . it makes sense.

That’s what I think, I think so too.

2150,  Monday,  21  8. 23