a companyhe couldnt remember its name but that was probably a good thing finally had an associate arrive after dark
Christmas Eve
its Outreach had been
promising for two weeks that theyd have an associate stop but repeatedly begged
off while reminding them it was the Holidays and because of vacations they were
understaffed
he thought he could only think because his family
intervened on the companys behalf and muzzled him he too-readily and forcefully spoke his
mindwore his feelings on his sleeve How
nicehow fucking thoughtful a company that
touts its prowess its primacy in critical healthcare-support acted like any-old non-critical business would seeing
to itself first
the Christmas Eve visit was a
last-ditch effort the company wouldnt be
Open again until Thursday January 2 partially-staffed not picking up the reins again until Monday
January 6
the associate intelligently diligently
deployed her script she dazzled them
and instructed his daughter specifically the family scribbling notes on an unreleased fourth-generation gaze-machine
-- some sales pitch – she left his daughter a loaned first-generation machine
unspoken beggars cant be choosers
they constantly had to recalibrate
the machine to read her eyes
if she went unhindered fifteen
minutes they considered it a major victory
his daughters their frustration
was palpable
the company said they get a
technician out to troubleshoot it
a technician never came
he had arranged his daughters
pillows to fix and make stationary her head so she could communicate on the
machine
it was early morning nearing three he knelt at her bedside his head under the monitor and worked a CBD
balm into her right hand wrist forearm and bicep
the machine made audible words phrases
and sentences she placed with her eyes
Dadu.
cant say she didnt maintain a
sense of humour
he looked up Yes baby
she gave him a familiar look with
her big beautiful eyes over the top of her ventilator mask
he crept backwards not to bump
the machine with his head stood sidestepped it and standing beside her looked
at what she had written on the screen
D feel No working D feel
Dfeel No working D feel No working
his throat thickened
D feel he said
when he felt his eyes wouldnt betray
him he looked in to her eyes
he asked D feel
she looked wondrously back into
his eyes
it
seemed she didnt know either as if the
machine printed D feel by itself
he asked her if she wanted him to
clear the screen so she could write
she blinked once
one blink Yes
two blinks No
he cleared the screen
Ill keep
massaging your arm
one blink
while he worked on her arm he
would watch her eyes as she intently wrote he assumed emails through the
machine she could also text
this was one of the longest times
he could remember when she didnt have to recalibrate
Dadu.
she startled him the speaker was directly above his head he was surprisedhe jumped inside himself
and not physically not knocking the
monitor out-of-synch
she gave him a familiar look with
her big beautiful eyes
he worked his way out again and
stood beside her
on the screen D feel D feel D feel D feel D feel
he didnt say anything for
lingering seconds
D feel had been a stand alone
phrase
a phrase she saved
he wondered if she wasnt tallying
her D feel-ings
her
Death feel-s
he couldnt
bring himself to ask her
maybe she couldnt bring herself
to say explicitly
when he could bring himself to
speak he turned to her again
You dont
know
she looked wondrously back into his eyes again
she blinked twice
then her eyes
moved from his she looked over his shoulderlooked into the corner of the dark
room where he had turned too many times to look and see nothing but where she obviously
saw something
she lay bathed in a
single halo of light from a canister above the bed
whatever it was seemed to provide her solace
Shall I clear the screen for you
it was a while before she turned
her attention to him
she blinked twice
then she closed her eyes
Are you going to try to sleep
she opened her eyes blinked once and closed them again
he leaned forward and kissed her
gently on the forehead
I
love you so very much sweetheart
she didnt open her eyes
he saw she smiled behind the
ventilator mask a big smile she only knew how to make big smiles
all her life she smiled
big
0758, Friday,
21 2. 20
1217, Twosday,
1 9. 20
Blood, Sweat & Tears You’ve Made Me So Very Happy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZtRAoITP0
