read  “ . . . antidepressants can make all the difference in the world.”

                                                                            book

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox7ifezOmGo *

 

ODd no world  huge difference

accidental

intentional

makes no difference

knew both

mourned both

no one went to Heaven no one went to Hell  they lived in his head his memories he spoke their names told their stories

               when no one speaks of them

they die a second time

 

    he thought theyd get a kick out of him dressed up cheerleader  furiouslykicking screaming vigorously shaking pompoms

330preferred,  Saturday,  24  5. 25

1120,  Thursday,  17  7. 25

*Duffy  Make the World Go Away

turning to look at him . . .

No

      Keep it to yourself

   You know what I’m gonna say?

Youre gonna say one of a variety of things that will be repetitive

                                                                       Yaneed new material

Whadaya got

Stop me if I’v . .

. . Stop  Youve said it before Ive pondered virtually all your rituals

    Rituals?

Rituals rites  R  I  T  E  S  So youre familiar youre not right   R  I  G  H  T

                                                                                     Youre wrong

I’ve asked you to round a square?

Youve asked

And what did you answer?

    Arya gonna remember this time

This time?

This time

              Ive told you we see things differently

You see two-dimensionally I three

Yasee a circle I see a sphere you a square me a cube

                                                         To solve your problem 

Again

An ice cube

Melt it

Its volume is known

Have prepared a sphereshaped mold

Inject the water into the mold

Freeze it

Rounded a square

    No.

Ja

That’s cheating.

Thas a solution

You did not say I had to remain in one plane

But that’s what I meant.

I cant read your mind

Youre not explicit I am

                          Thas on you

So wipe tha look off your puss  Its irritating

2203,  Monday,  14  7. 25

0909preferred to 2109,  Thursday,  17  7. 25

thought him early Twenties

unlikely college likely given clothing  what car he said he drovepointed it out through the window  entitled

    not for want before  or would

had stuck his finger between the pages World Enough and Time Robert Penn Warren

                                                                                    Ja Im readin

Ever read his All the King’s Men  Characters Willie Stark based on political career of Louisianas Huey Long  Phenomenal

his answer

                   he blinked 

Lame

wouldnt know phenomenal if it bit him in the ass

I’m really not fond of reading.

Your reason  Excuse

It takes too long.

Too long

taste like shit in his mouth

He hears.

             And I only thought you read spokeexplained. Let me buy you a drink what are you drinking?

Three fingers fifteenyear Redbreast neat

Neat?   Means?

When Beth returns youll see he heldup his hand  across the room she saw  she heldup a finger

                                                                                         I think youll appreciate a brief mystery

You can waitbe patience a couples of minutes

Beth walked up  Joe.

Fancypants here has a tab  Ill have threefingers fifteen Breast  neat please

she smiled all the women he was attracted to had sensational dimples

                                                                  Fancypants?

William. Scott.  Doubled mojito.

Tasty.

Yes. Yes.

Hoity-toity

Gents, be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

                                                  she stepped backturned . . .

The . .

. . Moment ahmoment  I dig Beths cominangoin  Shes got a lambs tail

rolling across the floor she tossed him a smile over her shoulder

that she caught him didnt bother him

dont shake a tail if its not going to be appreciated

                                                      he motioned applause

she laughedcould hear her  tossed her head her high ponytail did a threesixty

 

Book

    You’re back?

Back A great quote

                      Over before Beth can doubleback in two shakesmygawd of a lambs tail

Yes.

opened the book read to William

                                   You live through that little piece of time that is yours, but that piece of time is not only your own life, it is the summing-up of all other lives that are simultaneous with yours . . . What you are is an expression of History.

History.

Ja

     Awesomehuh

I’m not going to read it.

You don have to  All I was doin was sharing

    In a bar.

Who comes to a bar with a books pen paper?

Rhetorical

Beth crossed the bar towards them shaking what he would say was commiserate to a lambs tail  hadnt a name in the meantime a pair of GULPs would have to suffice

Joe. set his whiskey down William. set his mojito down

That’s neat?

Tha is

         Beth thank you

My pleasure, Joe.

CHRIST  Please  he thought

huge smile  deepdimples

I’ll check back in a while.

                            Got my eye on ya.

CHRIST

Beth left

            William  Thank you  Heres mud in your eye 

his followed Beth

1415,  Thursday,  17  7. 25

Remember my safeword?

Ohbrutha   escaped

What?

Wha

You said something.

Did I

You did, or rather exclaimed it.

    Ohbrutha

Sounded like that.

I thought I thought it

No.  It came out.

                      Do you know why?

I do  Cheap commentary

                           Blindsided

 

Are you going to say by what?

You wanna go down this road

Will I be able to follow the Yellow Brick Road?

                                                she askedwas euphemistic because his roads tended towards tortuous

Ohyeahyoud be able to follow

 

    Can I trust you?

Youre sleepin with me

                         You havent changed your safewordhave you

You’re a riot.

Why youre sleepin with meReady

she smiled dimples dimples dimplesloved dem dimples

                                                     I’m on my mark.

Get set

she took a deep breath

                           Go.

Dewey  John Dewey   Pragmatist  Educational reformer

                                                              Students must interact  hands-on approach  with their environment in order to adapt an learn

A history lesson?

No  Here it is

               

                   A quote  There is a stimulus only because there is already a response.

 

What the hell?

                  I thought you said I could follow.

No

Called it a reflex arc

                       Quote  The beginning and the end is the individual activity.

An empiricists fallacy  the assumption that the parts are prior to the whole, when in fact it is the whole that makes the parts what they are.

A circuit  A continuous reconstitution

          

Make sense

    Oddly . . . . it does.

Kinda fucks with the head

Does.

 

Give you any ideas

    It does.

Wha

You remember my safeword?   

2203,  Monday,  14  7. 25

1301,  Thursday,  17  7. 25

crossing over a footbridge a creek near the shallow the reeds watercress    an  ambling  crayfish

he hadnt seen a crayfish in yea . . .  since he was a boy

                                                            down by the river near a swim hole

fished the shallows for crayfish with chicken livers

tied with string

slowly dragged it  crayfish would grasp itrefuse to let go

once handled theyd fright  release

droppedem in a pail

rewardedem

cut a sliver from livers

                         a last meal

sometimes they were large enough plenty enough to bring home  steam    pretend New Orleans  calledem crawfish

    the last meal ones

toreoff their pinchers tails suck their heads while baiting a hook with tail to fish perch bluegill  sometimes a cat  carp    rare a gar

collected kindling

made a fire

guttedem

spearedem with a stick

roastedem

 

    the crayfish worked its way into the reeds

threw him a string

baited him with boyhood

 

reprisal?

1330,  Monday,  2  6. 25

1035,  Thursday,  17  7. 25

Pianza  What’s Left of Me?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNkJoRra2Ko

Auden

Poet

Ever read him

Noted for Funeral Blues

    I don’t read poetry.

went slackjawed   mustered

                               You  you don read poetry

Nor do I like somber ceremonies.

Somber ceremonies  I like tha  Phonaesthetics  Euphony

                                                             Pleasing to the ear

As typically poetry is

Which you don read

No.

Why

I might ask why of you.

Ask

Why?

To be human

                I quote Auden  Truth, like love and sleep, resents approaches that are too intense.

Poetic

If you like.

Resents  Intense

It does nothing for me

Shoud do something

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Ah  Seems weve reached tha place

Place?

Kindalike a Paul Simon

                          Not his Al  Ill call you  Alex   Spelled A  L  E  X not A  L  E  C

Ohkay

From here out

    That’s not my name.

You love to nickname peoplestruggle to call them the name they asked you to

How so?

I meet someonesomeone is introduced to me My name is James their names James I call them James as they asked or were said to be called not Jimmy Jim Jimbo    James

Youre Alex

Smart Alec

No  Again   With an X not a C

You’re confusing me.

Shoudnt

               Why woud I call you Alex

That’s not my name.

Alas  Ive christened you

                          Youve a nickname now

Unfortunately  Not an endearment

I’ll not respond.

You don respond

 

Alex  Short for alexithymic

                             Emotionally unavailable detached  withdrawn

Why I beat you up for your lack of EQ or otherwise EI  Emotional Quotient like your beloved IQ  Emotional Intelligence

Lowest one can go on IQ is wha  Seventy   I believe the military is 85

Your EQ EI EIEIOcant help myself

                                      Youre deficient   laughed

snide sharpWhat?

Its in your DNA  which was another of their disagreements

                                                                     he was turning the knife

 

1240,  Tuesday,  3  6. 25

0951,  Thursday,  17  7. 25

Paul Simon  You Can Call Me Al  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9UcXl6lQgE