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a Hermann headrusHesse 

                                            forged  then words stickled to an obscure page

Some of us think holding on makes us strong

but sometimes it is the letting go

though not too obscure

it was found

attributed

but like any pull quote lacking its continuity or context

it may as well have been found on a shabby metal toilet stall

scrawled by a mean red MagicMarker

in some remote truck stop(I assure the reader I did not though I will not assure them I havent)

a young woman named Fujita who I just met introduced me to the words

                                                                                                                      and always

whenever I learn something I didnt know before without having a good excuse for not knowing it

I accused my teachers of educating me poorly

then wonder deeply

what else hadnt they didnt prepared or provided me

because I was a youth

then 

        I always remembered the one who did
who tried

and for her first year teaching  troubling to meet my precocious niggling questions

she lost her contract

lost her job

 

for the serious Crime of taking her job seriously

when I had brought Hesse to her

placing a wellworn copy of Siddhartha before her 

she balked

then suggested perhaps Id rather meet her in her classroom the following morning before school

when I arrived she placed an equally worn copy of Magister Ludi before me saying she read it first in its original German

she also suggested his Journey to the East Narcissus and Goldmund Steppenwolf and Demian

Why would you read what everyone else is reading   was her closing challenge

I recognise often  because of her  I hardly ever read what everyone else is reading

I am the odd stuffed chair in the room

an eclectic prop

I wouldnt have met Fujita otherwise
and perhaps I wouldnt have learned the quote either

though  it seemed germane to me

I was a person people came to   soliciting my advise

I thought  I must look like I wear a high white collar

then acceding
                       I take up an old prop  a wallet from my worn valise

I hold it in my hand

I tell them to imagine the wallet is their problem

I tell them it seems to me  waving the wallet in their face  they refuse to consider dropping their problem

Let it go

I drop the wallet on the ground

Let it go

I turn my back on them  the wallet   and walk away

I suppose

                 my own form of headrusHesse

0054,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  5. 15 

 1405, Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  5. 15