she turned the table on him
literally
tho perhaps not that she knew or cared
it wasnt for him to say
itd been months since they talked
then she
was sitting at the very same table him standing
she asked him
why he didnt sit with her he answered he preferred being a moving target
A what
he didnt say
she appeared smarted
than that
rather hed let it occur to her
reveal depth
or not
or not
or maybe when he wasnt around
they talked about her dog
an her other dog
they could fit into a handbag petite
bitches like herself which she spent loads of money on as she blatantly
admitted her absence boyfriend spent on her
he was curious if her boyfriend
wasnt in absentia what he might have said of her remark
he knew what hed say
but he didnt know the man an
after all it was their relationship no one should say they ought to tend to
their own affairs keep their mouths shut(egads utterly inhuman of him)
ordinarily her remark would have
him running for the hills(as his born and bred Illinoian parents would say -- he didnt
listen to them before -- why would he start now) but there was
something that attracted him beyond her attractiveness
reminding him of Wallace Stevens The Snow Man
For
the listener, who listens in the snow,/And nothing himself, beholds/Nothing
that is not there and the nothing that is
One must have a mind of winter
this casual play he entered an
witnessed didnt exist fully
an if not fully
then what was missing
he was attracted to what wasnt
there
he was certainly attracted to
her
despite the affectations that
detracted from her
he imagined himself to a side his
hands held out opposite each other like a scale as one tipped up the other down
the cruelty of sensate pros an cons which ought to inform but that are often
ignored forcing one to relent not weigh what should be what is significant
she was attracted to him
but they were attractive people
magnetic poles that attracted
metal filings wherever they went they were glommed onto adhered held to some standard or
fix of perverse entertainment or emotional equilibrium or maintenance
an if failing falling shy
then their fault
not the filings
this evening she sat at the table
they met at smoking a cigar
she ignored him
she fondled the cigar fingered it
she licked its shaft turned its
tip in her mouth teethed it rolled it between her red lips again an again before lighting it
an lit she held it to rested it
on her lower lip
absently
as if she were involved in the
conversation with her girlfriends
who were continually pulling her
back into it because she missed her cues her marks
she wasnt
being the flame to their moths
he ignored her too
they were at odds among other
people an to acknowledge the other would be blatant obvious
an they were anything but emotionally obvious
they refused to be metal filings
for the other
Aw secretly they would have thought
Isnt that nice
0145, Monday,
7 12. 15
1330, Monday, 7 12.
15
