13.5.23


struck him kindaNUTS squirrelly 
                                   Checked out   Checked out whadaya mean 
I know wha Id mean but wha did you mean

As I said Sue’s said. 
                      You’ve suffered so many deaths in such a terribly short time, underwater, breaking the surface gulping air, shoved down again and again . . and again. So many potent figures powerful women in your life . . no brakes.

Checking out isn’t inconceivable, unnatural . . a solution . stop the pain.

I woudnt check out 

You forget my daughter  I aint goin anywhere for a long long time


   We couldn’t reach you through hotmail, emails were returned Undeliverable, your home telephone was disconnected. 
                It’s been seven weeks since last we heard from you. You said you’d get in touch with us when you got home.  It was over a weekend.

And I just did  I apologise
                            Things were in flux  So many moving parts so many more discouragements disappointments heartaches 

I apologise 

However

I woudnt check out

I intend being one fearsome bitch

Like you an Sue

   Bitches.

Youve been Sues been as long as Ive known you Neither of you take any shit Yare my gold standard  Yaoughta be proud 

Despite your gold standards believing you may have checked out 


First time for everything
                          Well let it slide now thaya know 
Okay

You’re forgiving.

Not ifya do it again

We won’t.

I expect ya wont


Lunchs on you  When we meeting

616preferred,  Saturday,  13  5. 23


Im over it he damn near pouted 
                                    he was done correcting errors that didnt implicate himwerent his doing he wasnt responsible

they were adults allround him dolts minding the candyshop

if they were screwingup kids comingup behind them would be screwy 
                                                                           it wasnt his watch 
maybe it was because they didnt have skin in the game
corporate loss
not theirs

disinterested

underpaid

no moxie 


he remembered his uncle being unenthusiastic when he entered carpentry as a labourer  no belt  to get his foot in the door 
      So what, you’ll be digging ditches? 

Likely But no ones gonna dig a better one

prophetic 
           later he wrote his uncle Maybe next time you might shoot a little higher for me 


he was purchasing a sixpak of beer loaf of bread soft tofu garlic heads a tallboy22oz beer 

she seemed distractedmissed his marketcard on top the sixpak scanned it then scanned his remaining items
she excused herself I’ll be right back.   Ill be right here
                                                           he bagged himself

she returned That’ll be $9.09.

   $9.09 
             he had to hint Thasadeal sounded like Thasasteal

Yes. We have the best prices.

they didnt
           he shopped at three different grocers

Are you a mother

I am.

You have tomorrow off to celebrate your day

she quietly snorted asif she might be overheard You have to work here for almost twenty years before you get Mother’s Day off.

Well knowing full well she had improperly scanned the 6pak I hope nevertheless you manage a good day

Thank you.

NO  Thank you

heading into the automatic glass doors he caught a glimpse of GUILT trying to catchup with him the doors parted  tore GUILT in half

 
not today tomorrow
he put it to bed

   Im over it

round1400,  Saturday,  13  5. 23


guy was always dropping something on him


Howbout ya just call me Joe

Common Joe? You don’t fit the bill.

I do You think Im uncommon which is what seems to fuel your want to put a label on me 
                                                                                              Trust me Joes plenty

It’s not, particular not according to how I know you . . you’re not in the cheap seats.

Whasthamean

When I talk about you with other people . . 
. . Which you can stop doing he rolledshrugged his shoulders asif adjusting a sudden uncomfortable weight Theres no reason I can think of people who are strangers to me tha you would talk to about me  

How about . . it’s kind of like I’m pinching myself. 
                                                     I don know anybody like you.  Confirmation.
Comon not one of us is like another

I agree I agree . . however you are completely unlike anybody else. In a class, a species unto yourself.

You trying to get into my pants

Please. Can’t you be serious? 
                                 You must recognise you’r . . 
. . Odd 


Odd. 
       That don’t describe what you are. 



   fivesix weeks earlier he called him Sigma

a friend who was visitingthey were going wine-tasting overheard and barked Smegma!

NO Clean your ears out 
                           Sigma  Greek   Yare his frat brother 

Ah, yeah, I know it, but what does he mean by it, in what context is he using it?

Sigma male is outside the hierarchy that Alpha rides atop Its apex  Probably better understood as lone wolf Thamake sense

You’re sure he didn’t say smegma?

Sure 
      He woudnt want his head knocked cleanoff his shoulders

You wouldn’t.

He would. He doesn’t take shit from anyone, not friend or foe. 



a week ago guy proudly dropped his new appellation

Woudya quit with the words the descriptors
                                                Joe 
Hear me out.

Donsay hear me out yare going to say

I am.

standing before him he brought his hands up to shoulder height palms inward wagged them welcomed him in Awright
Lemme hear it

he cleared his throat 
                       I may mispronounce it, but maybe you’ll recognise it. 
Mebbe 
        I like words as you but I don ferret them out like you  Im happy with Joe

Stop with Joe already. Here I go. 
                                     Cacoethes . . 
. . Canya spell it

Let me look it up on my phone. 
Your everpresent unturnedoff iPhone

Neverdo, I’m struck how you rarely have your cellphone on you. Where’s it now?

At home

frat brother visiting again interjected  Your phone’s at homewhy's it at home?

Its my house phone.

he turned to his fraternal eternal brother It’s his house phone . . what the hell's that?

I told you . . 
. . Excuse gentlemen Coudya spell it

Yes. Yes. 
          he fidgeted with his phone

Sounds similar to cacophony same root  Caco-

I believe.   Here. The spelling is C A C O E T H E S. Cac-o-e-thes . . the pronounciation.

Cac-o-e-thes Doesnt sound good   Sound worse that sigma . .
. . Smegma!

Frat bro Wanna shut it
                            Unattractive visuals 
Which means wha 

I’m not done, you’ll relate to it better if you let me get it out.

   Get it out

Cacoethes   Means an uncontrollable urge, desire, especially something harmful, mania, cacoethes for smoking.  However what I mean for you is cacoethes . . scribendi.                             

Lemme guess

If you must.

   Mania for writing

Yes, but also writing as an ingrained bad habit.

It doesnt get done on its own
                                Letterwriting 

You're the only person I know who still writes letters.

Because

Why write when you can talk?

I don think Ill enumerate the reasons tha ya ought to be aware of 
                                                                      Ifya were to think  But ya don like to work tha hard  Except  Otherwise  Tryin to pigeonhole me in something else other than Joe 
Bit maniacal yourself

Cacophony Bad sound Cackle don think Greek    Cacoethes  Bad disposition 
                                                                                      Whas Greek for bad  not C A C O
Still on the pageyah
Yes. 
         It’s K A K O S.

Thank you

1520,  Thursday,  11  5. 23
1157,  Saturday,  13  5. 23