Yah
he
almost didnt know where to start with this one
he told his girlfriend long ago that she must
have been a raging bitch or a real prick in her last life to incur the nonstop
shit that consistently fell on her head
if not this week then next
shed been attacked in a parking lotknocked off
her feet not seeingimaging a random body
blow by a complete stranger in a hoodie she twisted an collapsed on her legtortured her ankle and foot nine surgical pins pieced her foot back
together again Humpty Dumpty had nothing on her
earlier in another parking lot a motorist asked
her if she could help him with directions as she approached his car he exposed himself then sped away obviously the vehicle wasnt a stickshift
she provided the police the car make colour licenses plate
in either circumstance the cops were
worthless
they joked the pervert was an offduty cop they had to laugh
otherwise
shed cry
labouring on her foot after it healed? crossing a one-way street in a crosswalk some
guy laid on the horn and leaning halfway out of his window screamed MOVE IT,
BITCH
the brick he carried in his rucksack purposefully
for motorists who chose to speed through his neighbourhood turned over on its
face submitting it groaned Why couldn’t we have been there
for her? If we were there . . if we were
there
he
consoled his brick
it was a question he oftenfar too often asked
himself
he felt if he were thereif he were with her none
of this horseshit would ever have happened or if it did either he or they
or both of them would be in jail only because courts seemed to have become monetary black holes benefiting their communities slick conduits providing the General Fund rather than
dispensing justice
in their best Jewish lilt
Have I got a deal for you.
this was her most recent turn-of-the-cardsyesterday
she wasnt well
she called into work to take a day
she lives in a rural area remote by road on propane though within sightlooking across pastureland of the highway from the
bench her place was situated on
she summonsed herself
went
around behind her house to the laundryroom tacked onto it after it was
reconfigured there wasnt room inside
a tall fence faced the property
an equally tall gate provided access to the front yard
then three steps to a patio and three concrete
steps to the doors threshold
the door opened out
if one were thick theyd have to step back on
the narrow apron so if and when she opened the door it didnt hit them in the
face
she had left the door cracked
so with an armful of dried laundry she didnt have to manipulate the door
handle to get inside
she thought she heard mens voicesthought she
heard a gate but that was over the
dryers turning she thought it was her
landlord his place a piece down the road from her at her back
pulling her front door open she found two men
standing in her foyerWHADAFUCK Out of my house!
the older man began to explain they were
Jehovah WitnessesGET OUT OF MY HOUSE
he seemed shaken
the younger man began reiterating they were
JehovahWitnessesGET THE FUCK OUT OF
MY HOUSE
In the Truth they were somewhat shaken by her
alarm
they thrusted a pamphlet on top the laundry she
had in her arms and went past her mumbling about her alarm
they went down the steps and out the gate and
departed in an older Toyota 4Runner
he asked Did
you get the license plate
I . . I wasnt thinking . . I didn’t.
Youd recognise the men again
Yes. I’d recognise them, they’re blazed into my
memory; the shits, who do they think they are walking into my house, my home?
Nothings taken
They didn’t have anything in their hands,
except for the pamphlets; and the invite on the pamphlet was for April
Fourteen, it's past, isn’t it?
she was disturbed Yes That was last Sunday
It was, wasn’t it?
Yes By
the Gregorian calendaryes By the Julian
calendar no Maybe the Witnesses go by
the Julian calendar I dont . .
. . Christ! Too much information.
Tryin to side track your upset What have you done about . .
. . Nothing! That’s why I called you, I figured you could
help. I’m too upset, disorganised, frightened, FUCK, THEY WERE IN MY HOUSE,
THEY HELPED THEMSELVES TO JUST . . . just walk into my house.
What is that?
Proactive Witnesses Enthusiastic Wrong
Think if I found them in my house
she gave a wry laugh You’d be eating free for months.
Id be eating free for months I wonder what Witnesses taste like Id be concerned it was all white meat Were either fat
Are we having this conversation?
Have you come down a couple of steps off the top of the high ladder Im afraid it still might be
topheavy
A couple of steps.
Good Just trying to talk you down a bit babe Relax youtheyre gone And good
thing
They frightened me so badly.
I can imagine
What is that?
That was wrong As adults they should know that was wrong You dont help yourself to anyones home
What do I do?
Id call the police Does the pamphlet have an address on itwhere
the gathering was or is . .
. . Would you stop that!
Stopped
Theyre Witnesses I dont know shit about them except they dont
celebrate their birthdays because its pagan and THATS a fucking
sin That and that they believe a little flock of
exactly onehundredfortyfour thousand selected humans will go to Heaven when
Armageddon befalls us All these fuckin
End-of-Dayers Theyd do us a favorite if
they thought like those with Heaven’s Gate strap on some Nikes and follow Hale-Bop Bop Bu Do Wop in an alien
spacecraft hidden behind it into a higher existence Though to be fair most of the Heaven-Gaters
came from Oregon And I know theyd argue
that was suicide Suicides a sin But if suicide were the ticket to the A
train I dont know
The only thing I have in common with them is
that they believe death is a state of non-existencethough Id refute their
belief that there would be no consciousness I like the thought of death as a holding pattern filled with dreaming
exasperated Maybe you ought to
start your own religion.
Atta grrl Look at you chillin
You prefaced that whole thing with “I don’t know shit about
them . .”
I dont Ive heard Once I had to listen to that in order to go down on an endowed redhead a radical and Witness fugitive
It was worth the lecture
It was worth the lecture
You’re driving me . .
.
. To distraction Out of your fear
Yes.
Good I
think thats why you called You dont need
me to tell you what to do You just need
to come down relax get your oars in the water again What do you think you ought to do
Probably, as you say, call the policeso there’s
a record, then call to the church.
Kingdom Hall They dont call it church And be
aware that you want to talk to an elder and also know that youll be talking to
a patriarch Youll love this Theythe Witnesses abrogate imagine abrogate all the responsibilities and rights of their
personal lives over to the groups leadership
You must have listened to that redhead for a
long time
Interminably Gratefully a happy ending
that cracked her up
her peal of
laughter invigorated himtold him she was getting back on track
1102,
Day-between-Two-Ts, 17 4. 19
1319, Thursday,
18 4. 19
The Dappers Bop Bop Bu Doo Wop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA6bnQKcefc
or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEejfq1KhkU
BeeGees
Love You Inside and Out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SouY1MKclZ4
