30.5.19


unexpectedly the light rail train he rode spun through several tunnels that disoriented himnot that he minded  staccato daylight amber electric light stark blackbarred shadows thrown by trestles above fast walls close enough to touch if it werent for the glass between them 
                          then emerging breathtakingly into the sunlightbirth sunlight banging hard if it had sound it would sound like a blown tire flapping violently in a wheelwell  banging hard off vibrant LatinMexican colours  too close to actually make out the mural the graffiti he wondered which interrupted the other and before passing into the next tunnel
he spied on the pitted concrete block wall painted in white DEATH FEELS CLOSE 

one word over the other stacked like a tombstone

DEATH FEELS CLOSE


there were dirtywhte grinning skullsrheumy eyeballs suspended in black hollow sockets

phantasmagoric plants and beasts feasting on severed body partssucking bones phallic black and silver handguns wet knives scarred machetes howlsOoooooo paintedprinted with lush yellows greens and gray ash 
                                                                                   he had the impression of an American jungle a jungle overgrowing a failed city a civilisation



DEATH FEELS CLOSE 
                          a pronouncement an incantation theirs for him for anyone who saw

orange sand swept by coolblue waves

tipped lit by the sun

like candle flames

hued
                he preferred to think the light was the sun



because there is a sun were Death presides


1515,  Thursday,  16  5. 19
1447,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  29  5. 19




Sophia Weaver

10 years old

she passed away on Thursday  May 23

passed away 

he didnt like passed away

it seemed derogatory to him

Sophia Weaver had died

Sophia Weaver is dead

Long live Sophia Weaver

he didnt know her

but he wouldnt forget her

Long live Sophia Weaver


he didnt know of her until an article percolated up from the bottom of an on-line article he was reading he never knew how he got to where he arrived

the News hook was her picture

he was hooked 
                 and he was remindednot that he needed reminding of miserable people who hadnt learned if they couldnt say something nice then dont say anything at all

who raised these ignorant children into depraved adults

make no mistake

they are depraved


but they believe they have some God-given right THERE IS NO GOD GOD IS DEAD some God-given right to say whatever it is they wish to say 
                     and not fearing he may assume some Gawd-is-dead right to drop thempunch them in the face

because Sophias face who they didnt know  whose family they didnt know  offended them


well  they offended him

he wasnt 10

he wasnt enfeebled since birth by Rett disease



he had a birthday coming up 
                                he knew his wish to wish before he blew out the candles on his cake

1341,  Thursday, 30  5. 19



we have a dropdead datethe time our product expires

we can look for our label
                           we can scratch it reveal it  if were curious and curious and curiouser

or maybe finding the label  we havent scratched
                                                       we pull our fingernail away


why learn when somethingwhat something is is going to kill us



speaking for himself
                        he liked surprises   

1500,  Friday,  24  5. 19
1315,  Twosday,  28  5. 19