11.8.19




stolen hours  their stolen hours were something to be behold
                                                                 but unfortunately were not held often

thats how life shakes outthey were up to their eyeballs in each other then circumstances came to prevail that pulled them apart

the glue at their joints were still sticky  opposite magnetic poles still attracting  which begged irritatingly for reunification 
               albeit shortlived comingtogethers

they teased Beggars cant be choosers eh



their lives took them down separate paths  paths they each desired  and people in love want for the other what they want deep in their hearts 

love does not hold hostages

if one wants to keep the other

then they do not really love them

                                     they want to possess them 


possession isnt love

its owning


no one owns another


1619,  Monday,  5  8. 19
1221,  Sunday,  11  8. 19
The Beatles  Come Together  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oolpPmuK2I8


the FAKE PRESIDENT retweets Epstein conspiracy theory claiming Clinton connection

granted  hes on vacation enjoying 100% unstructured time  letting his mind wander as he plays with his dick musing on the Old Times partying with Epstein  Run with the it

1844,  Sunday,  11  8. 19



he finally met his daughters Reiki master

it occurred to him that when she was a little girl he didnt let her visit a friend or conceive of an overnight unless he had met her friends parents 
                         no fuckin brainer  he vetted
he was vetted

parents keenly watching out for their children
                                                 and in this thinking an epiphany occurred  while his daughter had been training with her Master for many years he had never met herYES his daughter had childrenwas an adult yet and because they lived hundreds of miles apart he hadnt had the opportunity to meet her

so since he made a sudden visithis daughter already had planned a session he asked her if he could ride along to meet Karren then leave them to their Reiki and he would walk for a cup of coffee  afterwards she could pick him up

Such a deal 


Karren is a beautiful spirit

they embraced when they met

then he left them to their Reiki and he went for his coffee  he carried his everpresent cloth sackhung by its handles over his shoulder which held pens paper clipboard and usually two books though cut to one as the session would be an hour and a half

his daughter recommended an organic food store not a mile off along the way home when she finished her session  called Erewhon

he remembered the store  upscale  attracted the attractive peoplewealthy people who could afford expensive organic foods

the storeas he recalled was magnificent  maintained to peakperfection it gave him goosebumps to walk in and pay five dollars for an medium organic black drip coffeehe hadnt had a coffee out in well  he couldnt remember the last time  whywouldhe  he had coffee and a coffeemaker at home he glibly defied convenient products

he took an outdoor four-chair table in the shade to himself

it was hot outside

most of the customers remained indoors in the lavish café that had counters countertables and intimate café tables four chairs  knee to knee 

setting his coffecup and saucer down he slipped his carryall to the tabletop across from him 

he picked up the book he brought  JFK and The Unspeakable: Why He Died and Why It Matters a harrowing insightful political and US Intelligence history  their audacity hubris their wicked wicked ways 
                                                                                            it made him gag to be an American 


No  he wasnt going to readhe read as he walked over No he was going to write his daughter letterhe used to have coffees and write letters while people looked over his shoulder and asked what language he was writing in he guessed audacity didnt stop at Intelligences waters edge  he did though enjoy the slap of their jaws when they hit the floor whenwithout looking up he said  English

to be fair to the eavesdroppers his handwriting had flourisheshe could have been a tagger and he defied writing line after linehe wrote small organic wholes then spun the pagetilted iwent upside down and traversed whole to whole with arced arrowheaded lines mishmash in brilliant BICred ink every pagefront and back looked organic looked artfully

but thats because it appealed to him

he never received one of his letters

he thought if he had he would be thoroughly entertained 

it wasnt necessary his words communicated anything 

he called it mosaic 

his parents said they could only read a page at a time

they called it a labyrinth 

See! even his parents could get onboard
                                           however they also complained it was not easy to read or comprehend

he laughed If it made you thinkeven if you didnt understand a word of it it made you think I dont care if you can read it or not If some worm turned in your brain I did what I wanted to do

so he put JFK aside and wrote his daughter letter


he lifted his eyes to the customers coming to the store out of the parking lot


manymany bodacious women scantilyclad it was a hot day

but the surprisehe was grateful his daughter hadnt showed up yet was the two bikers on chopped Harleys wearing black leather colours insigna filthy hair moustached beards grisly bulked up tatted
                                                                                       it seemed Erewhon preceded itself and attracted clientele like moths to a bright lightbulb in the dark

his daughter arrived before the bikers exited
                                               he was curious what they might have purchased he prayedand he didnt pray it wasnt beer or alcohol


1615,  Moanday,  5  8. 19
234 or 1434,  Sunday,  11  8. 19


he was reading about stress 
                               though if any stress crept or slithered near him it provoked a kneejerk reaction  he steadfastly maintained a vigilance to minimise his stressors violently  
                                                                          perhaps those animal didnt recognise his confrontational nature


long ago his father taught him if a fight was imminent he should throw the first punch 

lotsa fights in his experience didnt go beyond that preemptive strike the reality was it was a combination and for it he kept in his head that he wasnt going to be killed by a dead man  he delivered more coup de graces in Nam than he would admit  


that was then

that was survivalhe tried not to think of them
                                                 they were water under the bridge

yet he often struggled to put away the vapoursthe smoke that seeped from their broken skulls against  which played like film projected on its nebulous suffering revealing bits and pieces of their lives their upbringingtheir families  their intimate memories
                     which every human being shares 


they remain gut-wrenching





when adrenal and corticoid levels went up with stress inverse melatonin levels were suppressed  the good oldfashioned misunderstood pineal gland was at work
Gawdbless its ugly little head

melatonin is mightily at work when one sleeps
                                                  fashioningdictating dreams

so  combatively he suppressed stresshe suppressed anxiety worry his foes  he suppressed them viciously  kneecapped any attempt that HAmeandered into his realm


Life can be difficult 
                     but one doesnt have to dance with all oncomers  one picks and chooses their battles

he was preemptive 

he was ugly


he didnt apologise


1041.  Twosday,  6  8. 19
1518,  Saturday,  10  8. 19

PS FAT is nothing more than stored energy
                                                America has more stored energy than one can shake a stick at