14.3.21

 

the shit he stumbled into or rather whahe was predisposed to  that fascinated him  he needed bucketsa bucket brigade not the usual harried line of men slopping water hand to hand to put out a structure fire but a brigade in line to take his shit out he couldnt move he was distended 
                                              HELP 
                                                           if he could run it would be like running in one way and passing himself running in the opposite direction 
                                         and because he was politebecause pedestrians were few and far between hed be keen of their approachkeen of that timing to lift his head and acknowledge them say Hello say Good morning Good afternoon 
         only to find he was greeting himself

not that thatd distress him

hed been to carnivals

he walked in their House of Mirrors

why wouldnt a House of Mirrors present outside on side streets church parking lots the barkers hucksters erstwhile sham artists

its human nature 
                   To dupe or not to dupe thats the question

 

he was all warmedheated up hed read about the Sixth Century BC when science philosophy and religion were not separate 
         Right On! Hallelujah! 
                                he read about the sages of Ionia who founded the Milesian School who called themselves hylozoists those who think matter is alive they saw no distinction between the animate and inanimate  matter and spirit 
      wouldnt get an argument from him he was a hylozoist GAWDBLESSYA himself they saw all forms of existence as manifestations of physis all endowed with life and spirituality

Thales declared all things full of gods

Anaximander saw the universe as a kind of organism which was supportednurtured by pneuma a cosmic breath in the same manner that the human body was supportednurtured by air

Heraclitus of Ephesus believed the world was in perpetual changeflux eternally becoming his principle or symbol was fire continuous flowchange of all things and those changes arose from dynamic cyclic interplay of opposites pairs of opposites were a unity  and this Unity containing and transcending all opposing forces he called Logos

 

6th Century BC more than two millennia earlier 
                                                    Fuck if he wasnt a hylozoist
Nice to finally find his identity 
                                Evenif it sounded like a sneeze
 
2154,  Thursday,  30  1. 92
1239,  Sunday,  14  3. 21

 

his dreams of recent had been epic

every time he took up pen and paper to wriote they knocked them out of his hands You’re not here to observe, record, you’re here to participate! they grabbed him roughly by the neck and pitched him headlong into the meleeheadlong into the muck

returning to consciousness from those end-on-end scrums those twin-bills triple-bills convoluted intertwined montages palimpsests he felt fortunate that he emerged there were suddensnapshots glimmerings  but nothing episodic he retained   nothing he could bring back 

he left it all on the floor

he closed his eyes again trying to return to sleep to only sleep deaf dumb and blind he felt the toe of a boot in his ribs  he played dead 
                 he scavenged an hour or two of senseless sleep 


he didnt feel put-upon 
                      he was grateful

grateful his interior life was as interested in him as he was in his exterior life and it

he wouldnt say friends

he if his dreams insisted friends would resist hed mouth Acquaintances  Fondly acquaintances 
                                                                                                      more than half the acts or scenarios he found himself in were violent friends didnt invest in violence 
                                                                                 which isnt to say that either in dreams or in life he did not participate in violence to have a friends back 
                                                                just he didnt go looking for violence 
he would admit however 
                          to go looking for sex In an Out

Out he couldnt compete with the lavish sex In 
                                                antobesure In he was all-in No pensNo paperWholly committed 


Hmm  he had to give his dreams credit

they were right

he ought to participate  yet try hard to be mindful and come away with memory      

1313,  Sunday,  14  3. 21