simply stated
despite
that he was her boyfriend
she was The flame that attracts the moths
male or female
the males
shed
had years of perfecting dissuading
them
stopping
them in their tracks before they could even get the ball rolling
and she had become quite artful at not hurting their tender feelings
she could take No
but
for some unknown reason or reasons still
alluding her No was the epitome of
rejection bruising their feelings and
egos or egos and feelings
she wasnt
a guy so she didnt understand the psyche pecking order
her boyfriend was no help
he took No
never
really elaborated on why
offered it seemed a real simple transaction
Yes
meant Yes
No
meant No
Black wasnt White
and
White wasnt Black
she could only nod in
agreement nothing there to scratch your
head over
but females
a
whole other subject
like
trying to hit a well-thrown knuckleball
damn
thing wouldnt stand still
after a good workout at the
health club she enjoyed a hot dry sauna
threw the switch off for the overhead
light
gently
coerced the thermostat with a dribble of water to kick its heating elements on
again
and took
a spot on the cedar bench sat erect eyes
closed
and
went off in her head as she cooked
if someone entered they usually
respected her chi
an almost palatable solitude she erected
like shimmering glass
had someone
preceded her into the sauna
she
certainly respected theirs
it
was a matter of courtesy that she perceived as common common-as-dirt sense
people who live in glass houses shouldnt
throw stones
the woman who entered the sauna
after her
smashed
her house
her clogs slapped carelessly against
the concrete floor and she groaned groaned groaned and oohed Hot Ouch and manifested
every sniff and snort anything else a child might do to be recognised or not
ignored
despite the element she walked in on . . .
it was not unobvious
there were lots of broken panes
to peek out through
and as she expected
as she did literally
peeked
. . . unfortunately she never
mastered the stony dull eye of barely restrained belligerence her boyfriend
had
he
could kill an unwanted conversation with scarcely a withering look
he had an
evil eye
Its not evil hed say I dont believe
in it
Trust me shed reply its evil If I was a demon Id be waiting on you to
croak so Id be first in line at it Snag
it up and stuff it in my vacated eyesocket
Youre gross Better bring a folding chair along Gonna be a long long wait
he was belligerent
her eye opened a sliver
My its hot hotter than I usually
find it Ill have to drink lots and lots of water while I bake Ridiculous not
bake roast I noticed you havent a water bottle I couldnt possibly do that How
do you do it I may have to dump some water over myself to stay put I recognise
you from the weight room when Ive gone past The men must love you in there
Youre quite attractive young Id give my eyeteeth to be your age again That was
some time Some time I had to beat men off with a stick or whatever I could lay
my hands on They couldnt take no Id say no Then they almost beg Hell Some would
beg Beg beg beg Full grown men if you know what I mean full grown men rendered
into impatient stubborn children My my my That was some time Some time I come
in here take the heat take it for my hips my hips and knees God Its hot The
heat feels so good particularly after I swim So good
Yet you say you saw me in the weight room
Thats where the men are I gotta
hand it to you Brilliant absolutely brilliant Youre a smart girl clever like
your style Your strategy
Because I lift weights
Oh baby you can play it straight
with me Lift weights buck stops here wouldnt breathe a word not a syllable
Good I lift weights I have a boyfriend
Thats a waste a boyfriend you
ought to have boyfriends boyfriends peeling c-notes off their bankrolls for
your pleasure whatever you want any old thing you want for their pleasure too
it aint a one way street cant be a dumb bunny about it you get yours first they
get theirs I mean its a rare boy that can hang with a woman They aint made like
us Theres a reason were built like were built and we can exhaust them one after
another after another Hell A boyfriend
Honey
the worlds your oyster
If
I were you thered be broken spent men in my wake
Once upon a time once upon a time
Your hips And your knees
Yes hips and knees What sits
before you is a cyborg artificial hips knees I think a got a shoulder coming in
a little while my pitching arm
Pitching arm
You know she motioned like a man masturbating my pitching arm Some boys like being jacked
off and watching themselves cum I dont masturbate they say Liars So I let them
keep their lies and jack em off same price as if Im on my back or on my knees
Unimaginative clucks If I got me a really good man Id fuck him for half price for
my pleasure not too many men interested in my pleasure Which truth be known
meant I could turn them in five minutes and scream how fucking good they were
how they made me cum Oh Daddy Oh Daddy whats with these guys and daddy huh
I dont know
Hmm Whod thought spreading my legs and giving
head would have lead to fake hips and knees
Tell ya this much Im grateful grateful docs have the skill and technology
to remake me Cant say I know where Id be or what Id be on to keep the pain I
had at bay
Aint a man gonna keep me if I couldnt pleasure him do what he
wanted
You know
I dont know
1951, Thursday,
22 1. 15
