he couldnt stop them from jumping

when the little girl leaptshe was at the head the rest followed her like lemmings they jumped fearlessly from the riveted red ironworks

he was back from the edge screamingNO NO  No tears surging

he didnt come forward to look down he did not want to see the ruin bodies busted like water balloons unseemly parted

the real terror was still with himstill in his eyes them leaping  anhe pitifully helpless

when the last leaptWHY they sawhad to recognise the gore below he slowly backpedaled several steps before turning on the ghastly silence that minutes earlier had been filled with gay shouts laughter their echoes peeling away spideryzigzaging across the face of the canyon of buildings diminished by intersections they were unable to leap

he took the fire stairs down to the basementdown to his irrevocable labyrinth where he wanderedwhere he knew exactly where he was

there it occurred to him

                           the structure rising above him was his shaken labyrinth pulled up now dimensional  no longer a lone wandering plane

                          it demanded more of him it was bored with what he knewwas excited to teach him again

the happy affable children werent real

they were aspects of himself

had he gone to the edge and looked down there would have been nothing to see but the ribsthe skin of his erect labyrinth

           he was becoming  walking the clean ironworks bones fearlessly  unafraid  slowly becoming  he was putting away childish things

   

2115,  Sunday,  24  7. 22

1218,  Saturday, 30  7. 22

Dispatch  Time Served  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1EHGskxiUE

its hard to watch friends hurt themselves or deny the common sense they usually display

what messes with that

the heart

physical pain psychic   mind over matter

                                              ifya don mind it don matter

hed managed pain a better part of his life accidental selfinflicted sports it had become inconsequential the anaesthetic he consumedsummonsed came from within  not pills injections his mulish nature proved advantageous

the downsideYes ofcourse there is a downside holistically he turned things over and over like a child discovering the first ball he was given his mulish nature isolated him however his Tarzan swingin in on a vine to his rescue was also his innate introversion  he didnt mind being alone 

                                                     the affront of wellmeaning friends who believed they were welcome their thoughts that being alone meant being lonely didnt bother him evidently it was the suit of clothing they were comfortable in

                he didnt own a suit

he quit trying to explain

it fell on deaf ears

his selfimposed isolation was beneficial

                                           it provided him room to manageassuage his pain when it reared its ugly head

but that was him 

 

one can lead a horse to water but they cant make it drink

he was confident many thought that of him

he did appreciate their concern thanked them

                                                 so he did have a sense of disappointment when he saw friends hurt themselveswhen he watched them blow smoke up their own ass

                                                                    he wasnt that limber not even as a kid

I don’t know that.

She told you she said you were buddies

I don’t know that yet.

                         he was so practised could blow smoke rings out his ass too

1749,  ReggaeFriday,  29  7. 22

1040,  Saturday,  30  7. 22

he had seventeen pairs of old 501 buttonfly Levis

crotch had givenway on all of them

his concern about mendingpatching them was obvious all eyes would be drawn to the patch most of the right thighs had also thinned and split if they were the only failure the occasional knee he could get away with it 

maybe more modest than he thought

she laughed when he told her over the telephone

Its not funn . .

. . It’s hilarious! What are you doing in your pants?

Wearinem Anto a pair theyve all failed in the crotch structural defect planned obsolescence fuck if I know Its irritating

You sound irritated.   Hmmm . .

. . Save it

Hmmm . .

. . I said save it I know wha yare thinkin

A mindreader?

Yare mind give me a fuckin break

What am I thinking?

Im not

       Had I been I woudnt wear pants 

her suddenbreath came in a snort over the receiver then pure elationlaughter

Im funnyhuh

You wouldnt wear pants?

Fuck no an Id hold it to the cops face that was arresting me for indecency exposureOfficer please explain to our listening audience that this arrest has less to do with indecency than it does pure jealousy tap the end of my cock Testing testing  yes officer its functioning Please talk into the Mike

Please talk into the mikeshit . . you’re too much.

Didnt know I nicknamed my cock Mike huh

Would you stop? her laughter came in gusts  You’re killing me.

Seventeen pairs of unwearable jeans is killing me

Patch them, it’s unlike you to care what people think.

It is isnt

Yes.

You may have something there I was suffering a creeping modesty it lookin over its shoulder lookinround an round

Patch em.

             Then send me some pictures. she howled

You messin with me

she couldnt talk

Yare going to choke

she laughed harder

Get your mind out of the gutter

laughing she sputtered Chochooke

I need to gag you he could play her game

Awwhar gag she barked through her yukyuks 

he imagined spittle on her chin wasnt going there was a thousand miles away too far to resuscitate her

I can’t breathe . . freaking hilarious.

hed let her come back to earth wasnt going there either

1503,  Thursday,  3  2. 22

1335,  Saturday,  30  7. 22

he said homeschooling

he said Wha  Who

Their mother

She graduated high school your son graduated high school  Where in that are the credentials to teach at home I assume yare referring beyond necessity when Trump virus was a swinging cock through the countrynot that their state believes in medical sciencebelieved in polio  it went herd mentality

                                                             Is that the mentality you wanted imparted to your grandchildren young girls

It’s really not my job is it?

Lemme think  a distracted child steps into a crosswalk in front of a cartheyre right in front of you ya let them get hit not your job

A hypothetical.

Horseshit  See an accident forming you intercede

I open my mouth, say my piece, they let me spe . .

. . But they aint listenin  are they

   Probably not

So the girls need an open liberal educationaint Gawd gonna carry their water when theyre older  in their neck of the woods last thing we need coming out of theremebbe theyll stay put  are more unthinking white Christian Nationalists keep religion in church unfortunately itll taint the home but all else secular or they risk brain death  Fact of the matter ya don need a brain in Heaven It is wholly unnecessary 

1129,  ReggaeFriday,  29  7. 22

Zappa  Help, I’m a Rock  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAOClxd8UJE