20.8.21


Fuck me

threw him a curve
                 he couldnt say that he ever saw the word before

he looked it up in the dictionary 
                                  Ah Im not an idiot  French  plaidoyer   advocacy
A plaidoyer for culture?

After Babel hows one going to ignore that  a book by George Steiner 1975
                                                                            “ . . conventions of forwardness in our syntax”, our “articulate futurity”, or, in other words, “the existence of the future tense, is what gives us hope for the future, saves us from nihilism, even from one’s suicide.”

what really drove home the point was “If our system of tenses he dropped senses in tenses place was more fragile, we might not endure.”
                    if our senses were more fragile if we were more sensitive  we might not endure

gobsmacked  absolutely gobsmacked

it had been his misfortune his distinct fortune  cut him deeply to have had friends who committed suicidewhich was their right the only true thing one has is their lives  they can do with it whatever they want 
                                                                                          suicide isnt selfish  some tend to feel badly for themselvesfor their loss they wrongly blameaccuse the suicide   talk about selfish  he missed their voices the way their minds worked their presence  the deep warm hugs they shared which always felt like Don’t let go of me!
he didntwouldnt
                  not for as long as he was alive


when he wokeup in the morning he remained in bed for whatever time it took him to remember them recalled a very good time with them saw their faces smiles their unique mannerisms tics  wished them good morning  then visualised the next 
      when his greetings were complete he asked his cats Time to get this show on the road?  they were enthusiastic  they were hungry


to the left of Steiners quote he had written
                                             “ . . ce qui n’est pas clair n’est pas françois.” what is not clear is not French.
How very French he thought despite not knowing many French nationals

above it he wrote
                   Antoine le Laboureur  Googling the name he only found Sainte Antoine le Laboureur and only paintings of the man  We French follow in all our utterances exactly the order of thought, which is the order of nature.
he wrote without quotes 

 

the one-two punchthe combination reinforced the sensitivity his friends exhibited  asif they had been flayed of their skin bloody raw a breeze scald them a harsh word burned their ears existence bullied them physically they couldnt standup for themselvescouldnt fend off attacks wolves that circled smelling weakness  
                                                                                  thats where he fit in the picturehe loved the violence but he couldnt be in every places at once 


they started their lives in a corner coveringup 


eventually their arms came down


they werent allowed standing eight counts
                                             they had to suffer knockouts 
so  by their choice

they threw in the towel


he missed them every day

he welcomed them every morning  

this Century
1707,  Thursday,  19  8. 21

 
she came up to him and stroked his headrun her thumb gently up and down his forehead widows peak to the bridge of his nose  when his girls were little his mother did likewise put them to sleepknocked them right out she briefly met his mother once
              What’s up, baby? You got such a look on your face.

Ah sorry  was thinking
                             Im upset

Do you want to talk about it?

Unfortunately talking wont change a thing

May I ask what you’re thinking?

Oh he smiled largely at her youre always welcome to hear wha Im thinking  Thinking Paintball wizard . veterans

Paintball wizards?

Paintball wizard vets 
                       Borrowing from the Whos Pinball Wizard deaf dumb and blind kids  Without intuition though
Supple wrists
Excellent for masturbating

Jesus.
        How you think, Joe.

Ya asked

she smiled I did. You never disappoint. So who are the paintball wizard vets?

The January Sixth gaggle of goonstheyre getting off light
                                                           Theyre insurrectionists Whitey Walked away from the Capitol after the shitting relieving themselves in the hallsshould have made the Congressional Republicans clean up their mess a few in particular

The proud boys oathkeepers three percenters
                                               Paintball veterans
Never did like the premise of paintballthe wannabeism
Gets ya hard
Join up 

Well, I can see why you looked as you did. You appear a little more at ease, yes?

Yes  Thank you for askingI get caught up in my head
                                                        Then I get lost Good thing I like labyrinths

You find home in the most uncomfortable places.

I do Then you can appreciate my enthusiasm returning to you
                                                                  I love you

Baby, I love you.

1806 or 606 – both nice,  Monday,  5  7. 21 
109 better than 1309,  Thursday,  19  8. 21 

 

on MSNBC Thursday evenings The Eleventh Hour  their segment The Last Thing Before We Go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96jvDysG9K8

Mo Brooks and his cohorts ought to be in knickers and skirts gayly skipping mindlessly around a maypole because they wont do the work their oath requires for all Americans

1137,  Reggae Friday,  20  8. 21

19.8.21

 

     he wasnt one for horror
                               although he liked monstershe liked cannibal zombies vampires werewolvesOhmy and supernatural aliens
                     the line wouldnt have been complete without Ozs Ohmy

he didnt like murder
                      murderers werent monsters they were the rabid dog To Kill a Mockingbird that had to be put down a single shot  The Deer Hunter
                                  seems he was fashioned by cinema
hed blame his Mom for that

she wanted to see a movie

his father didnt

so not wanting to go alone she grabbed him 

popcorn a box of candy Twist my arm
                                            hed watch whatever she wanted to show him
she had been responsible for the library books he readtook him to the adult library upstairs  Select a couple of books, but don’t take too long. they left the second oldest to watch his three other siblings 
                                                                                  when the librarian challenged herrefused to checkout the books because I saw the boy pick them. his mother nearly took her head off when they left he had his own card for the adult library his Mom wouldnt have to accompany him

things usually tended to be good between them

she was eighteen went he was born for all intents and purposes they were the same generation his Dad too he was twenty 


horror
vacui
       Latin fear of empty space also kenophobia fear of the empty nyctophobia fear of the night or darkness

he lacked phobias

horror vacui
              filling an entire surface of a space or artwork with detail

he liked space
               empty  white   negative space intrigued him 

a buddy refuted him they were hiking in hills above the Pacific
                                                                  Look around you, everything is filledcrowded with detail, no space unfilled; negative space isn’t natural.

You presume everything is filled up because your eyes tell your brain everything it sees is Whaif your eyes cant see it or if they do they darn the empty space fill it with that that borders it creates contiguous detail sequencing color and pattern enforcing consistency statusquo veiling the negative supercedessupplants the empty space

I believe everything is fill . .
. . Macroly
            Yet microly you knowbelieve there is unfilled space
I believe in ghosts I have seen them An because you havent you do not

I believe it is entirely possibly we are surrounded by networks spiderwebs mirrored fractals of negative space that our eyes clone hide their slender edges to complete them so we don freak out

Slather a brush with paint and drag it on coarse concrete the brush will be depleted the concrete will be revealed pebbled then laced the painting incomplete You must think our eyes are soggywet brushes
                                                                                                 Ya preferwont allow the possibility

I believe my eyes.

One word Deepfakes
                       Ya keep believing your eyes and AI will make you its bitch  Whawoudya do for a bone doggie

1833,  Monday,  14  11. 16
1544,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21

a pensee
           line one subject two syllables 

second line description four syllables

third line action seven syllables 

the fourth line eight syllables is the setting   

fifth line final thought six syllables 


deepfakes

scintillating   

egged on to fuck with your mind

look no furthur than your flatscreen

do not believe your eyes 

 

Whoawhoawhoawhoa
                               Its Thursday the nineteenth

It is. You’re sharp.

Whawas supposed to have happened on August thirteenth

It was Friday the thir . .
. . Whaelse

Whatelse?

Comon 
       In politics

Ahh . .
. . Don ahh me its almost a week ago  half the time ya cant remember yesterday   The PillowGuy 


PillowGuy  ya know that piece of work

I do, don’t pay much attention to him; he’s a prick.

Anwha did the prick say was happening on Friday the thirteenth

He’s a prognosticator too?

He cant spell it but he likes to think he isyup

Please, you’ll have to remind me.

Friday the thirteenth Mango the former was to be returned to the presidencyO’Biden vice-president Harris voluntarily stepping down admitting they see the light They lost

OhShit.

Yes
     Didnt happen

1757,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21 


Plop plop fizz fizz

                   FEAR

anthropologist Ernest Becker The Birth and Death of Meaning observed
                                                                            “It is (fear) that makes people so willing to follow brash, strong-looking demagogues . . . capable of cleansing the world of the vague, the weak, the uncertain, the evil. Ah, to give oneself over to their direction – what calm, what relief.” 
                                                                          TAKE A FREAKING ALKA-SELTZER
or better yet an Alka-Seltzer enema thatll put a tingle into ya get ya up on your toes gigglinglaughing Ahh ah refreshed

hed bet the true believers would take the A-S enema before they take a Trump virus vaccination

1346,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21

The Authentic Appeal of the Lying Demagogue: Proclaiming the Deeper Truth about Political Illegitimacy https://www.asanet.org/sites/default/files/attach/journals/feb18asrfeature.pdf

18.8.21

 

You an your fucking transience
                                Nah  don gimme that lookI always tell ya wha I mean  Transience  tendency to forget facts or events over time  Ya struggle to keep yesterday
he started to speak
                  Shush ya got no legs to stand on
he still wanted to say 
                    Shut it not a fuckin leg 
I . .
. . Yare not listening

I am.

Good Then  when is it when we have forgotten all that weve learned

I think it's inculcated in the Second Law of Thermodynamics; hot things cool, and disorder, chaos, always increases.
he looked smug

Disorder chaos  entropy

Yes. Entropy. Eventually that would have dawned on me.

Unless you forgot
                  Is it fair to say you maintain that chaos disorder is equivalent to deathbecause Id sayId propose only when we are dead that we have forgotten everything weve learned

You equate forgotten, with death?

Aint nobody ever said otherwise  have they

I do not know if I agree with you.

Whadaya propose in lieu of  otherwise
                                        Perhaps he smiled wickedly  it felt goodhe rarely did wiggleroom  wiggleroomjiggleroom might be had if someone had a soul  but then you readily admit ya don believe in the soul

You don’t either.

Not much of an argument
                          You persist  chaos is death  Isnt chaos a beinga state of being


You know . . I think Ill claim transience before I forget

 

Motherfucker

no time recorded,  Friday the Thirteenth,  8. 21
1409,  Sunday,  15  8. 21

Muslim band

America is morally obliged to bring as many Afghanis every one as humanly possible out of Afghanistan 

the two FOX clowns plus one the Bibles Three Wise Men make them look like fleshy white pariahs Tucker Carlson Laura Ingraham & Stephen Miller they would say theyre entertainers ought to use their big mouths to gobble cock  every individual ten dollar proceed going to financially help our worthy displaced Muslim allies

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/fox-news-stephen-miller-fan-anti-refugee-flames-amid-afghanistan-crisis-says-mehdi-hasan-118912069559

https://www.thedailybeast.com/tucker-carlson-warns-that-america-will-be-invaded-by-millions-of-afghan-refugees

https://www.mediaite.com/tv/laura-ingraham-is-it-really-our-responsibility-to-welcome-afghanistan-refugees-into-america/

 

 

there was an earthquakethere had been earthquakes

it was part of the deal

Florida had hurricanes

the Midwest had tornadoes

the Dakotas Minnesota  whiteouts

they were natural parts parcels  Order
                                        pick your poison 


then some bright boys got a bug up their ass drooled SAFETY theyd write humane laws to force construction not to Humpty Dumpty not to have a great fall  then all the Kings horses and all the Kings men can make bank
horseshit economy of the time

 

 

One – Six – Six – Zero Marsh
                            walking up the Victorian porch steps he saw a metal placard screwed into the whitepainted ornate crossbeam directly over his head

the placard read  THIS IS AN UNREINFORCED MASONRY BUILDING   the placard was required by law 

Jesus he muttered to himself  Lifes unreinforced an unreinforced masonry existence
                                                                                        he was sick of the shit the manipulative laws they patted themselves on the back for authoring and passing  graft their plumtheir cherry inane laws meant to save his life because he must beOh  an idiot


he was responsible accountablehe didnt care for their threats
                                                               their codes meting out severe monetary penalties if they were not adhered to if they were broken if he got killed

to the best of his knowledge their keen Western yokel mentality hadnt metastisised to middle America
                                                                                                           which isnt to say the Midwest didnt have its share of stupidity and ineptitude

 

he could protect himselfThank you

1350,  Thursday,  12  5. 21
201 more attractive than 1401, Monday,  16  8. 21

coffee and a Doha

Trumped Pompeo Doha deal with “the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan which is not recognized by the United States as a state and is known as the Taliban (twentytwo words used sixteen times throughout this brief “comprehensive peace agreement” – brief and comprehensive are not compatible) . . and (the United States) will not intervene in its internal affairs.”  

the peace agreement would have been a good instrument to have writ large and demanded no reprisals or violence committed (the protection of) against Afghani girls and women, a continuation of their civil rights, their educational and cultural trajectories; also the protection (no reprisals or violence committed against) of an unmolested and free press

he loved Part One C.
                      “The United States is committed to start immediately to work with all relevant sides on a plan to expeditiously release combat and political prisoners as a confidence building measure with the coordination and approval of all relevant sides. Up to five thousand (5,000) prisoners of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan which is not recognized by the United States as a state and is known as the Taliban and up to one thousand (1,000) prisoners of the other side will be released by March 10, 2020, the first day of intra-Afghan negotiations, which corresponds to Rajab 15, 1441 on the Hijri Lunar calendar and Hoot 20, 1398 on the Hijri Solar calendar.

awfully nice to return five thousand (5,000) combatants to the Talibans ranks

https://www.state.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Agreement-For-Bringing-Peace-to-Afghanistan-02.29.20.pdf

1943,  Monday,  16  8. 21
1106,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21
the United States seems content to hang their hat on https://sof.news/afghanistan/over-the-horizon/ 

17.8.21

   
   the bait
             a sudden unspeakable sweat
eight syllables


hed start from there

create a pensee around a suggestion by Anne Carson

might have stepped in it  
                         the fourth line of five eight syllables is the setting   a sudden unspeakable sweat


    rolling . . 
                line one  subject  two syllables   armpit

second line  description   adolescent

third line  action  seven syllables   taut nimble fingers tickle

fifth line  final thought  six syllables   desirous  once more please

wellshit
       dug out of that nicely Stoked  deserve strokes and pats for that

 

armpit

adolescent

taut nimble fingers tickle

a sudden unspeakable sweat

desirous  once more please

pensive pensee 

 

“ . .if people were more preoccupied with the past, maybe the events that overwhelm us would be fewer . . at least while you’re sitting still in your own room, you don’t do anyone any harm.”  WG Sebald

 

preoccupied with the past

not reminiscing

remembering

history
        from where things began and then subtly quietly moved through time to date 

precedence

people tend to be myopic

theres todaythey live in the momenteyes down  watching their feet

                                                                               Worthwhile
but they cant remember what happened three days ago
                                                        24/7 hustles them through their lives they pant for whats next 
unfolding
          they cant remember two days ago

a disservice rendered we shell out for

Old news. Old news? Why should I be interested in old news?
                                                                  I wouldn’t read yesterday’s newspaper. nice proclamation if they actually read rather than were told

 

we ought to be interested
                           we crawled before we walked walked before we were hobbledused a cane walker or wheelchair before we decided to sit it out  walking was no longer worth our effort

 

he was preoccupiedhis memory long

it wasnt easy to maintain

     maybe thats it
                         its easier more convenient to let  it   go

0949,  Sunday,  15  8. 21
1139,  Monday,  16  8. 21

 

he couldnt resistcouldnt help himself

his father servedhis three brothers served

he couldnt
          didnt see the point of snapping to attention saluting submitting to whatever he was ordered do 

he didnt care much for authority
                                   made no sense to abide something he knew he wouldnt

it didnt set well with his family

he had to tell them to quit making excuses
                                             Ifya gotta say something say if there was an existential threat to our country Id be in it otherwise   I couldnt give a fuck

 

no  he couldnt resist
                      he felt obliged to pesterto send military articleswhenever he found them to his father

who knew Rolling Stone gave ink to the military Michael Hastings was the inker 

the article disturbed him

but he was cool cool

on the reverse side of the xeroxed pages he wrote a civil newsy letter 


his father was a Korean War vet who sat on pins and needles for two years but wasnt sent overseas 
 

I love you, Paw! 

Joe

PS On the other side of this letter is a real beaut you ought to share with your brothers-at-arm your cohorts at the Wednesday afternoon Veteran Hall get-togethers you attend and disgustOops! discuss it with them
                                                                                                        Beyond my purview

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/the-runaway-general-the-profile-that-brought-down-mcchrystal-192609/

1728,  Monday,  16  8. 21

PPS  https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/another-runaway-general-army-deploys-psy-ops-on-u-s-senators-178088/

16.8.21

 

he checked the map

she said she lived in Sacramento off the 5

he lived in Santa Margarita

she saidshe implored  I'd be willing to meet you halfway.

from her picture she appeared an athletic goodlooking Asian woman with breasts  she occasioned him to remember he waitedbidded his time for Playboy to finally issuefeature The Girls of Japan  he invested in three year subscriptions before it came out
                   the venture had been worthwhile
it confirmed his suspicion

there was such a woman as a busty Asian

he high-fived himself

which was ridiculous

though if asked hed admit it

there were worse things to admit


Hmmhe wondered
                  he wondered if she was enthused to meet him halfway because she had a sense of humour  that she also realised halfway between them was Los Banos

he wrote her
              MEET ME IN LOS BANOS


never did hear from her again

afternoon,  Friday the Thirteenth  8. 21
1500,  Sunday,  15  8. 21


Jesus Kachrist
              had to be BLIND not to see it coming

walking over to Circle K had he seen the opossum at the bent chainlinked fence tilting above the ruined earth crushed shrubs smashed concrete walk hed have chased it back up into the construction site they were winding down it was nearly Four

but he hadnt

he had his nose in Krazy Kat as he walked

despite it being late
                     newspapers werent distributed meaningfully  Circle K refused to carry The San Francisco Chronicle which left him to the clutches of the Los Angeles Times
                                                          he bet himself a copy would remain for him to buy
two were left

he wanted the headline 
                           AFGHANISTAN FALLS TO THE TALIBAN

it would be the bookend to the framed front page he had at home SOUTH VIETS SURRENDER
stupid stupid stupid USA


as he walkedread home he saw the opossum smashed on the road
poor poor poor animal
                       it hadnt the foreknowledge or forethought like the United States that the road was a parking shoulder two lanes of traffic a turning land two lanes of traffic a parking shoulder

Inevitable

Afghanistan and the Opossum

Lost causes before they began

   had to be blind not to see

before Four,  Monday,  16  8. 21
The American Breed  (Neocon hubris)  Bend Me, Shape Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSHo146tQjQ


Nobodys talking about who financially supports the Taliban

1717,  Monday,  16  8. 21

the enemy of my enemy is my friend