Fuck me

threw him a curve

                 he couldnt say that he ever saw the word before

he looked it up in the dictionary 

                                  Ah Im not an idiot  French  plaidoyer   advocacy

A plaidoyer for culture?

After Babel hows one going to ignore that  a book by George Steiner 1975

                                                                            “ . . conventions of forwardness in our syntax”, our “articulate futurity”, or, in other words, “the existence of the future tense, is what gives us hope for the future, saves us from nihilism, even from one’s suicide.”

what really drove home the point was “If our system of tenses he dropped senses in tenses place was more fragile, we might not endure.”

                    if our senses were more fragile if we were more sensitive  we might not endure

gobsmacked  absolutely gobsmacked

it had been his misfortune his distinct fortune  cut him deeply to have had friends who committed suicidewhich was their right the only true thing one has is their lives  they can do with it whatever they want 

                                                                                          suicide isnt selfish  some tend to feel badly for themselvesfor their loss they wrongly blameaccuse the suicide   talk about selfish  he missed their voices the way their minds worked their presence  the deep warm hugs they shared which always felt like Don’t let go of me!

he didntwouldnt

                  not for as long as he was alive

when he wokeup in the morning he remained in bed for whatever time it took him to remember them recalled a very good time with them saw their faces smiles their unique mannerisms tics  wished them good morning  then visualised the next 

      when his greetings were complete he asked his cats Time to get this show on the road?  they were enthusiastic  they were hungry

to the left of Steiners quote he had written

                                             “ . . ce qui n’est pas clair n’est pas françois.” what is not clear is not French.

How very French he thought despite not knowing many French nationals

above it he wrote

                   Antoine le Laboureur  Googling the name he only found Sainte Antoine le Laboureur and only paintings of the man  We French follow in all our utterances exactly the order of thought, which is the order of nature.

he wrote without quotes 

 

the one-two punchthe combination reinforced the sensitivity his friends exhibited  asif they had been flayed of their skin bloody raw a breeze scald them a harsh word burned their ears existence bullied them physically they couldnt standup for themselvescouldnt fend off attacks wolves that circled smelling weakness  

                                                                                  thats where he fit in the picturehe loved the violence but he couldnt be in every places at once 

they started their lives in a corner coveringup 

eventually their arms came down

they werent allowed standing eight counts

                                             they had to suffer knockouts 

so  by their choice

they threw in the towel

he missed them every day

he welcomed them every morning  

this Century

1707,  Thursday,  19  8. 21