they fired up a bowl of opiated hash

Big Steve hooked him up

Steves business Apogee which he had started with a student college loan was thriving  he sold outrageous bongs to headshops known heads came by the factory and paid under the table

Steve hawked them up and down the coast 

heads and headshops loved them

Steve dabbled in product low volume variety of grass thai sticks blunts hashish

occasionally he ran for Steve though strictly merchandise bongs and pipes steamrollers clips hemostats and occasionally Steve turned him onto a treat in addition to his time and mileage

friends

   

his brotherinlaw flinched they passed the bowl back and forth back an forth FLINCH  Really Nomo

I’m good.

Can be better

You be better.

Dont mind if I do he hit the bowl twice more deep languishing tokes  Man  this shit is delicioustastes like flowers

I didn’t notice.

Ya didnt Because yawere backin out when I said what it was 

I’ve never had opium before.

Laced with oil  Just a tiny bit bulk is hash

Yeah. Not a fan of hash either.

If ya prefer I can twist a joint up for ya Smoke whatcha like keep the roach keep it in the matchbox

No, man, it’s cool, this is good.

Well whadasay  Im warm  Can we hit the pool

Yeah, man, sounds good.

private pool his brotherinlaws the girls were out they werent going to be back until latepossibly spend the night with friends

baching it

after porpoising aroundsavoring the cool blue water they met up in the shallow where they left their beers 

he started talking about some Korean films he saw recently

Subtitled?

Yah Ya hung up on subtitles

I don’t watch them . . 

. . Theyre very good

Too much work, I can’t read that fast, not while watching a film.

Horseshit Said only in America Its horseshit because yahyacan Korea knows our market Theyre worded tersely succinct  Yare just too fuckin lazy

I don’t like them.

Yadon like to be compelled to watch Americans seem casual about film . probably why they prefer mindless violence car chases Prophylactic Commitment prevented

I don’t like them.

Yacant not like something you havent experienced

Yes I can.

Jesus Awright Beer tastes good Brother I am stoned  Howyadoin

A little hig . . 

. . Im a lot high Hope you can keep up

I guess we’ll see.

So gun violence in Americasince were talkin film Did ya know that in Korea handguns are restricted If yacan possibly own one ya cant keep it in your housethe police hold it

I didn’t know tha . . 

. . Yah Yacan buy after a class You fail no sale Yacan buy a hunting rifles or air guns Those are okay to have at home Registered ofcourse   

That doesn’t seem right.

Not right

No.

Far fewer suicides in Korean That seems right

It’s our right to own a handgu . .

. . At the cost of suicides and murders and school children . . wha  fifteentwenty vets a day

Could say those are inherent risks.

Could say no his brotherinlaw went to say something but he cut him off Lemmelemme lemme say Its a horrendous priceSo . unlike here in America . . if a Korean wants to commit suicide they hang themselves they committed suicide with pesticides jump off a bridgeout a window or burned yeontan – coal briquettes – in an unventilated space

Wha Im sayinOutlaw handguns Lives an money saved Anif we wanna commit suicide then we hang ourselves too bufirst we manufacture hemp rope Made in America on . . on halfinch diameter rope . say . fortyfive cents a foot . . six feet . less than three bucks  Yacan do the deed rather than spend fourhundredfifty for a .38 caliber fivehundredfifty for a 9millimeter Think of the money saved  Think of new rope manufacturing in America  Anthen we can utilise more money for mental health money for better lives better public educationFUCK schools-for-profit  Though . . I have to admit . Id love to up-sell . a suicide . . to a 9millimeter . magazine holds fifteenseventeen . sell ‘em a box of munitions . .

I’m lost

Wanem to get practise sodeydon miss

What are you talking about?

So dey don miss

What are, I’m not . I'm not following . .

Am I losin ya . .

Lost. 

Im stoned though I think Im makin sense 

Yeah. I feel like I’m watching a foreign film. 

approximately 1715 -- stoned,  Saturday,  11  7. 20

1307,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  15  7. 20

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-other-countries-avoid-mass-shootings-2018-2#:~:text=South%20Korean%20guns%20aren't%20kept%20at%20home&text=People%20must%20first%20obtain%20a,and%20ammunition%20is%20also%20banned.

Rare Earth  I Know I’m Losing You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F28X8--2dFU

the cat next to him left his receipt on the bar

where did they keep that paperChrist yellowed  tea-stained  he couldnt blame the guy for not wanting to put it in his pocket it might spawn or corrupt

                                   he had looked around quickly for a drink menu or a cocktail napkin or a flimsy coaster

Sonofabitch Papers paper

                            he wrote a note on the back of the receipt with a red Bic that went everywhere with him and as she went past him to the Ladies Room he slipped it to her  back to grade school

there was plenty of eye-ogling between them but she was with a table of friends raucous women plying themselves with drinks or wine she was a shot and a beer girl sipped them appreciatively 

he liked that they ganged up to enjoy The Girls Girls girls girls bounced out of their mouths as they shared storiesnever breaking into pockets interacting as a whole

nah he wasnt going to step into thathe wouldnt think to interrupt

returning she walked up to him 

he hadnt been watchingdidnt see her coming 

Smooth she said

he turned to her  Ah you read it I crossed my fingers he held them up to show her she laughedshe didnt cover her mouth her stock was rocketing

I did, with some trepidation, it looked like spoiled fortune from a rotting fortune cookie.

Sorry about that I saw you collecting your purselooked around Fact of the matter beggars cant be choosers

You certainly didn’t write it from a beggar’s perspective.

Would you buy an optimistic beggar

No beggar’s that optimistic.

Ill take that as a compliment

Please. I did have trouble, though, making out your printing; usually that’s reserved for handwriting. Then it occurred to me that it might be part of the intrigue.

Optimism  I wouldnt believe needs intrigues help   I get that a lot Often people guess Im writing in Chinese

So, that said, I think I understood it, although would you mind reading it to me for confirmation?

Id be happy to

some girls at her table began calling her over Girls’ night, D! Desiree! Come on, D!  she acknowledged them held up a finger motioning Wait  In a moment

Desiree

Yes.

Beautiful name It really suits you Parents must have seen into the future 

You ought to see my parents. My family, you’ll excuse me for saying so, is attractive.

he smiled at her Then you understand why I took a chan . . 

. . I don’t think you take chances, at least not without high probability of success – which isn’t to say, right now, youre successful.

she smiled big dimples stock continues to climb

I credit years of random opportunities an being willing to fail  an that Im a little nuts

Your note betrayed you. Please.

Yes

    I wrote Hello my name is Joe Cleverhuh

Rhymes.

Poetry Youre not immune to poetry not when you incit . . 

. . Read on, don’t get full of yourself.

Anfun have humour Ya got a real funny bone

You like funny bones?

I do the things you can do playing a funny bone right

                                                         she rolled her greenagate eyes humour washed pleasantly across her features he felt like he was making headway head for her head for him

                                                                                               as I was saying My name is Joe. 

You said.

Yes

And? Get to the rest. I want to be sure I translated it correctly.

                                                                 her lip curled like a wolves snarl STOCK! WAY UP!

he cleared his throat Our looks across the bar aren’t bringing us closer. You can see I’m interested; you seem interested. So, I’ll tell you what, cut to the chase, have a drink with me and we can tease. But if I finger you, I will split your brain in half as if it were a shelled walnut. 

Itll be nice, my word.

I thought that’s what it said.

Youas you said translated it correctly

Finger me?

Yes

Finger me? her eyes narrowedmaybe a little heat building behind them

Finger you Guess you correctly  Ill take you on a nice ride Desiree

OH.

he smiled at her and whispered Get your mind out of the gutter

a smile snapped on her face

                              Please, may I have a Detour and a shot of RedBreast?

he called the bartender over Please Two Detours Two doubles of RedBreast  Thank you

Okay, Joe, talk to me about how you're going to finger me . . 

hypnagogic 0914,  Twosday,  14  7. 20

1111,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  15  7. 20

2112

31  1. 20

had to throw those 1s together

                                  nice alignment  clean vertical lines     like a tall woman

he had a tall woman 5’10”

he touched her out by one silly inch then she threw on high heels when they went out 

didnt bother him  brought her breasts closer to his mouth ofcourse yes  her mouth closer to his too

shes voluptuous

                  when she enters a room men look and turn to look letem look shes with him and only has eyes for him 

      likewise

when they met the second time it was really nice to meet a woman who wasnt preoccupied with her appearance 

she didnt wear makeup

shes a natural beauty

Cherokee & Sicilian

Hallie

        no need to guess why 2112 and 31  1. 20 attracted him

originally written on Reggae Friday

1124,  Twosday,  14  7. 20

the Trump Administration is delirious to tickle its propagandic ivories and manipulate the nations coronavirus data

https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/watch/trump-administration-ordered-hospitals-to-bypass-cdc-with-coronavirus-data-87703109579

he hoped Americas hospitals would reply Suck my dick!

1631,  Twosday,  14  7. 20

Hmm   pharmaceutical companies making profit off a coronavirus vaccine

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/07/13/vaccine-makers-profit-congress-360135?nname=politico-nightly-coronavirus-special-edition&nid=00000170-c000-da87-af78-e185fa700000&nrid=00000167-851a-d01a-a567-d79e0c9d0000&nlid=2670445

start with the CEO

                     and if spectacularly dead CEOs dont get their attention then pharmaceutical Boards

no profit should be made saving Humanity 

1536,  Twosday,  14  7. 20

Pfizer which says it does expect to make money on its vaccine – will have a hard time competing with FREE

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/07/13/trump-schools-reopen-big-districts-360106?nname=politico-nightly-coronavirus-special-edition&nid=00000170-c000-da87-af78-e185fa700000&nrid=00000167-851a-d01a-a567-d79e0c9d0000&nlid=2670445 

                                  “Trump today was asked what he would tell concerned parents who saw news that a teacher in Arizona — another virus hotspot — recently died after teaching a summer school class online. ‘Yeah, the schools should be opened,’ Trump responded. ‘Schools should be opened. Kids want to go to school. You're losing a lot of lives by keeping things closed.’”

You’re losing a lot of lives by keeping things (schools) closed.

                                                                eerily reminiscent of House Freedom Caucus member Rep Andy Harris (R-Md)  “The bottom line is that it is safe for children to go back to school. It is not safe for them to remain at home.”

how does staying at home equate to . . losing a lot of lives by keeping things closed & It is not safe for them (children) to remain at home

he puzzled

            politics apparently once upon a time was crafted for white male sociopaths and psychopaths

the lurid fantasies that have occurred to him are jawdropping he didnt know he had such a perverse depth

 

1508,  Twosday,  14  7. 20

Rag’n’Bone Man  Human  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wKzyIN1yk

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/four-weeks-later-pence-probably-wishes-he-hadn-t-written-n1233776?cid=eml_mra_20200714

                            No  no no  nono  nah  not confidence  unmitigated hubris  a disease called UH  duh

the president was predatory – no intelligence to appropriate to his thinking – hell be able to say he didnt say it and thereby hang the IDIOT placard around Pences his vice-presidents neck

But wait! the White House is inspired Let’s blame Fauci!

                                                             https://www.cnbc.com/2020/07/14/top-infectious-disease-experts-lend-support-to-fauci-after-white-house-attacks.html 

                                                                White House imbeciles drawing taxpayer-funded salaries

1144,  Twosday,  14  7. 20

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/pandemic-definition-covid/

Anais Nin reminded him  pages thirtytwo through thirtyfour of her unexpurgated diary revealed in Incest

                                                                                                               not to protect anyones ass although she did while she was alivewhile many of her victims were alive  victims she was unmerciful in her assessments

but when everyones deadtheir tongues are dead theyre at the mercy of the diaryist the historian the gospel written by the victor  the ones who didnt die during the conflict

Unexpurgated

                on a books cover caught his attention as did the 60s lurid glossy-covered True Detective magazines  Who would kill a piece of ass like that yakiddin me 

unexpurgated uncensored that made him think of church 

                                                                he was prone to uncensored probably because he was consistently censored at home and school

they seemed to think that they could shut him up with punishments with school detention  no matter he had homework to do threats of suspension which he shutdown he was telling uncomfortable truths he told his teachers the Dean of Boys Howbout you stay home instead

then what they did was disregard himthey wouldnt call on him in class which had he disrupted class would have given them grounds to suspend him

                                    like he didnt see that comingcouldnt figure it out

disregarded

maligned

of the two he preferred maligned and particularly so when he learnedhe had a keen way about him of discoveringcreating leads to learn who maligned him 

                                                        he made it a point

maligners prefer their anonymity

being unidentified

                    or rather as he said  Theyre cowards Aint facing a lion if they dont have to Though eventually they will Kind of like forgiveness People think theyve been forgiven because everyone has a short memory 

his memory -- as his parents said – was corrosively sharp and long he had a lot of slights with which to contend

they werent facing a lion they had help scoundrels cant function without confederates

Nin wrote  I am aware that I cannot catch up on my writing

                                                                likely many sighed to her admission
but that wasnt to say that Nin didnt remember 

he was very sure she remembered evenif she hadnt written it down

                                                                        writers have long memories 

he couldnt keep up on his writing any more than he could count his breaths

                                                                                not that he would find that monotonous think  sexual panting sleepbreathing satiated sighing snorting angrily shallow with expectation shallow with a hope for a long shot to come throughoptimistic determined when thwarted at ease while walking barefooted in the sandfeet and footprints lapped by cool surf holding ones breath as a whale rises spouts and dives again exposing its fluke identifying itself a hawks shriek and dive the inside of a womans thigh when her skirt splits as she gets out of a parked car 

             counting ones breath isnt monotonous  any more than exhaling the bluedsmoke of opium                  

      

1227,  Friday,  31  1. 20

1507,  Monday,  13  7. 20

Jesus Christ Superstar  What’s the Buzz  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3LM2iQ8p7A

he saw her from behindChrist he could have done without seeing her at all he hoped she was pregnant she waddled like a duck 

he had walked like that once but that couldnt be her reason she was wearing a sundress he shit in his pants

                                                                                                                    then it occurred to him he wasnt going to find out if that was her natural gait he wasnt going to catch her she was up a block and going around a corner obscured by an unclipped hedge 

                                                             GONE

shit out of luck

                and more than a bit surprised that he was irked he wouldnt know why was that important or rather why did her walk rankle him he hadnt like her sundress

unworthiness passed down through your lineage

                                                    the unworthiness in your cellular memory

We will talk again with the silent ones . . 

                                            a podcast he overheard

. . take conscious control of every moment of your life . .

. . the unconscious energy of your past random experiences . . 

                                                                         what a crock of shit

Do you really subscribebuy into this babe

I . . think . interior work is good . introspection.

Ill grant ya that but talk again with the silent ones

I think that is more a matter of centering one’s self, rather than talking, with the silent ones.

Lotsa thinkin coming out of your mouth which Im grateful to hear rather than  believing

No. I . I believe.

If you believe  you shouldnt say think

I say think to . . to . placate . you.

Me You dont have to placate mehave you ever known me to placate anyone

No . .

. . Damn right

               Your belief system is yours Have I ever stepped on yoursinsisted  insisted  I dont believe I have

You haven’t.

Thank you

            Then why try and placate me

Maybe placate was the wrong wor . . 

. . It was 

          Placate mollify pacify soothe appease Im not a child Im not your childmaybe this is your motherness coming out at me

Save it for your children

she shrugged

they left it at that

1422,  sunnySunday,  12  7. 20

1331,  Monday,  13  7. 20

https://www.thaissky.com/blog/deconstructing-the-worthiness-wound-and-reasons-for-womens-unworthiness

a man or woman falls a long long way from heaven

tumbling  turning  often recovering to fall cleanly unblemished   like a polished stone

then their falling ends at earth  

they die they were dying

hypnagogic morning,  Sunday,  12  7. 20

he was takin a leak  maybe   maybe   maybe he had had too much to drink

                                                                                   Fuckin kiddin me he berated himself
on the evening he had four beersfour shots of Jack  shabby when he was younger eightnine beers a fifth of Jack THEN that might have been too much

                                 no matter following day he always remembered what happened

                                                                                                      soNO  he didnt have too much to drink

tonight . . was . a bit different

Indians of Old might have known what they were talkin about  those who refused to have their photographs taken  fearful . of having their souls . . stolen

to take a leak leavin the room on his bookcase are family photographs  and loved ones who recently died  his family took it on the chin suffered four deaths  a terrible stretch

                                                             how their lives were dictated not that he could profess to believe in that how they died within a month was devastating

he was grateful no one knew what to say

there wasnt anything to say

he appreciated they didnt

anif someone said

he wasnt polite

                 Please Would you shaddup . please

he could suppose they might figured . errantly . he had a built-in excuse . . to be . rude

No

they were rude

he was an abrasive brusk mirror held up to their faces  SHADDUPplease

their photographs were on his bookcase

he looked at each as he passed

their eyes met

they didnt avert theirs  

their eyes hardened 

as he took a leak he thoughthe imagined they disapproved of his boozin

well . . when they were alive they kept their peace Dammit being dead shouldnt change that  they could keep it still

he missed them terribly
                             and sometimes he missed them more                                                                                            

like tonight

2034,  Reggae Friday,  10  7. 20

1336, Saturday,  11  7. 20