there are four round white lightbulbs above his lavatory sink  over the mirror he shaved in

come August hell have lived in the house for eight years

a bulbsecond from the right was burned out when he moved in

his girlfriend didnt complain when she did her makeupher slight makeup in it she was like his wifehis daughters minor touchup  dropdead gorgeous 

                                but then he wouldnt have been interested in a woman who had to put her face on

he only looked in the mirror to help him not cut his throat when he shaved with his grandfathers straight edge razor

when he lived in the cityin Chicago he carried it in his boot his grandfather would have approved 

                                                                                                       but in rural California in a house on top a hill that kids wouldnt climb once a fucking yearonce a fucking yearJAYSUS to Treat or Treat  if he didnt use his grandfathers straight edge to shave thered be no reason to have it 

                                                                                    fucking kids they didnt want to work for candywhen he was a kid hed wrestle an alligator for a full-sized Hershey chocolate bar with almondsFUCK hed wrestle two at once a mindset that played out nicelyhelped him later during menage a troiss 

                                                                                            you learn and earn your worth

he shaved again

                  tired of biting the ends of his moustachescratching his cheekshis throat hairy nuisances and that on top of not having a haircut in ten months he looked like his Buffalo  his Spirit Animal 

he didnt wanna be a dead giveaway 

he looked like a guy who would carry a razor in his boot

a razors supposed to be a surprise

he couldnt entice any action at the bar

they gave him a wide berth

even women shied away

                           though they may have read his zealous confidence that they didnt need wax to get a Brazilian

but  a razor the nethers

                           he could appreciate a reluctance  although he trimmed himself up

being confident in himself didnt translate directly into others having confidence in him

though the Few the Proud werent Marines  they were adventurous women

                                                                                 then there was nothing like having at their pussy and ass and coming away without a pubic teasing his tonsils

                                                                       HERE his mother might have warned Too much information, Joe.  and in his dry-humoured delivery Aw comon Maw Thats priceless

Funny the shit some people will put a price on

1503 or 303pm, he liked the 303,  Day between-Two-Ts,  8  7. 20  &  1540 hrs 

Doors  People Are Strange  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0Mz_IqpZX8

Hasbro

         toymaker company  also owns the trademarks Kenner Parker Brothers Milton Bradley

its nice to know what conglomerates own so you know that trademarksthe originals  now have shit to do with their products

          like if he sold his kids because the price was right  and they think they can teach his girls to pull better tricks than he would have

Hasbro

he was showering eyes closedfacing into the huge showerhead his girlfriend had to have -- he still had it she had a good idea before she left – and maybe it was the spray on his closed eyelids or water making his breathing difficult that twistedenticed him to think of Hasbro out of the fucking blue

Hasbro  then he thought Has – bro   Has -- bros 

                                                      he rarely referred to a guy as bro maybe three fourdefinitely two a bro would be a guy other than his siblings none of whom he called bro 

bro suggests  something   tighter  to bleed for die for

a bro shows up even when they know theyre walking into a lost cause

Has – bro 

            when did they decide to make G.I. Joe dolls for young boys

think about that

dolls for boys

anatomically incorrect male dolls eunuchs Joe aint no Joe hes Kizlar Agha of Constantinople

                                                                                                   at least Barbie had big tits a hint of an ass if Mattel had given Barbie Millicent Roberts a hint of a pussy hed have ask for his own on his birthday or for Christmas Please Santa please a Bild-Lilli What? What’s that? Shes a doll based on a German high-end call girl he shrugs his shoulders at Santa I dont know what a call girl is

                                                                              maybe because he was naughty that Christmas he wasnt going to get an imported Bild-Lilli and then to spite himreally drive home the point he was also denied a Barbie made in the good old U. S. A.

he couldnt catch a break

Has – Bros  G. I. Joe dolls for boys WHEN THAT occurred to him in the shower

it also occurred to himhe thought he knew WHEN that disrupted his shower he killed ittoweled off wrapped the towel around his waist and went to the telephone on the stand in the hall

he called his Folks  they were 21 19 years apart  fuckin contemporaries

his mother answered 

Hey Maw Got a question

                            he did it often enough that if either of his parents answered they disregarded his rudenesshis inability to play nice before getting down to brass tacks

                                                        however later in conversation once he got his information he told them candidly the only way he ever spoke to them Business before pleasureawright  I know you understand So  How are ya

his Maw  given the day or her temperament called him crass or Who is it you think you are talking to? or rude man crude vile . .  

             he interjected reminded her he was her son End of bullshitawright Yaknow exactly who I am This should be no surprise he thought more often than not that he was the one surprised that by now she hadnt recognised his patent abruptness and vulgarity

Give it a thought Maw

                        Can you remember what year G. I. Joe was introduced to America

Well, Joe, it sounds to me you know.

I think I know But this is kinda like me calling you or Paw to learn if I dreamt something made it up or it was actually a memory Im calling for confirmation

When do you think, Joe? Because honestly I really can’t say that I remember the year G. I. Joe went on sale.

After Kennedy was assassinated

Yes, I would agree.

Awright   Then Id say ’64   Before LBJ beat Goldwater

Yes.  I think I could agree to that.

Mebe  mebbe not after the bullshit Gulf of Tonkin incident and the resolution that granted Johnson the power to use military forcecommit the our soldiers without Congress declaring war  What cun . .

. . JOE!

No JOE What the hell was Congress thinking Maybe if they pulled their thumbs out of their ass ceased their selfinflicted anal pleasure maybe then they might have thought clearly

Gulf of Tonkin was horseshit

Please, Joe, you . were what . . ten?  Why would you have known that?

Are you kiddin me By the time I was ten Id been delivering the Trib and Sun-Times for better than two years I read them every day as I walked my route and came home for breakfast

                                                                        You must remember that

I think someone in Hasbros marketing was a fucking genius Think about it they sold corporate on selling dolls to boys I think they smelled Nam coming smelled the blood saw it in the water smelled napalm and torched jungle Anif they helped boys fantasise play war running around the neighbourhood then later intimately fantasising with doll soldier that they could accessorise with a wide array of lethal force

Well possibly helped prep a nation of boys to go to Nam and fight Commies 

Nice things about toys they die  but they dont die

The United States had twentythousand military advisors in South Vietnam in’64

The Military Industrial Complex smelled gold in dem dar hills And possibly this was the prescient gateway to the Military Industrial Entertainment Complex American entertainment flyovers at professional football gamesfuckin really apparently Americans like their wars whether just or not   

Its good businessaint it

Joe. I don’t remember. I would probably, no . . no . I would urge you to go with what you know, confirm at the library. You always have liked card catalogue. You like research.

Sound advise Maw I love ya

1337,  Twosday,  7  7. 20

0044,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  7. 20

https://www.messynessychic.com/2016/01/29/meet-lilli-the-high-end-german-call-girl-who-became-americas-iconic-barbie-doll/ 

Creedence Clearwater Revival  Fortunate Son  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec0XKhAHR5I

Who’ll Stop the Rain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIPan-rEQJA  https://mronline.org/2020/07/03/hollywood-and-the-pentagon-are-cheating-on-the-american-public/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=hollywood-and-the-pentagon-are-cheating-on-the-american-public&utm_source=MR+Email+List&utm_campaign=c0e2e37727-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_MRONLINE_DAILY&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_4f879628ac-c0e2e37727-295850895&mc_cid=c0e2e37727&mc_eid=abc09823c1

               maybe    maybe  maybe they were waiting for someone to say itstep up clear their throat  not cry           and say it

 maybe

speaking for himself he was making it up as he went alonghe never imagined himself in such a circumstance  he had no training   all he had was love

he told her that he was wearing his sharpest cheerleading outfit the skirt with alternating coloured pleats  shaking his pompoms madly

                 The matching coloured panties too he said  though I was tempted not to wear any

with her eyes she gave him an enthusiastic Thank you, Dadu.

                                                                 Dadu he imagined because ever since she misspelled Dad with her eye-gaze machine – perhaps slightly tempted to try Daddy which she never used – the family hadnt let up on himthey gave her the break but they went after him in full regalia he could take the tease  he saw the delight in her eyes when they did she had been the instigator and she had every right to enjoy it enjoy her due  Dadu  

Youre welcome baby

his soninlaws brother said it 

he had the cred

he was eighteen years in a wheelchair through no fault of his own

he asked  Wanting to heal, and help; can they actually be more damaging than good?

1328,  Twosday,  28  1. 20

1212,  Saturday – 4th of July,  2020

Beatles  Because  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL0tnrl2L_U   

dreamtime

he didnt have dreams like other people last night he dreamt of a singular placard all night long

PANTHER ANNIHILATES THE UNNECESSARY

the placard changed colours pastels throughout the night lighted by a source he couldnt see either from behind him or it and while dreaming his dreaming-self thought it was rather . . subjective . the words . . who was the panther. what was unnecessary . .

You have a beautiful house

Thank you. We’re very happy with it. Where do you make your home?

Central Coast  I rent a house

You don’t own it?

No

At your age I would have thought you did.

I get that a lot

Excuse me?

No excuseya didnt thinkya opened your mouthya made a baseless assumption or rather perhaps based it primarily on your circumstances fortune  entitlement

                                            As I said get that a lot Reason being or likely the reason is I was careless with my body when I was younger  I threw it around

Careless? That’s not wise.

Wise  I believe wise is subjective

                                    When I said careless I meant I threw cautions to the wind  not . . not to be confused with being intrepid I recoil from dishonesty  greed from manipulation Lets recognise that to afford a house one must havemust hope many more likely hope than have a continuous flow of money or a career 

Ive made a career of not having a career
                                            Makes my father nuts

The only desire Ive ever held to own a house was to have a yard  for a garden

In California following my wifes want and desire we werent able to afford property
Its a joke

Employers threaten your employmentthey use your house as leverage to their benefit

Rmployers that pull that shit always say It isn’t personal  Well  they need to die It is personal They know that

My needs have always exceeded what I might want The majority of things I have arent mine Im holding them for my family absently he said An my familys left me  an left me holding the bag

he might suppose he wasnt a panther

0911,  Friday,  31  1. 20

1511, Monday,  6  7. 20

Blood, Sweat & Tears  Spinning Wheel  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFEewD4EVwU

“In our schools, our newsrooms, even our corporate boardrooms, there is a new far-left fascism that demands absolute allegiance. If you do not speak its language, perform its rituals, recite its mantra, and follow its commandments, then you will be censored, banished, persecuted, and punished . . . Make no mistake: this left-wing cultural revolution is designed to overthrow the American Revolution.”

he knew the words came out of the presidents mouth at Mount Rushmore

hed seen them quoted in various sourcesheard them through various media broadcasts

                                                                                             but he was stumped

he thought one of the reporters afterwards would have asked if not the presidentWashingtons clown in the center ring but someone in his circle Who wrote the speech?

Drumpf in this case a ventriloquists dummy can mouth words off a autocue

                                                                                 but given his enmity to read – which he also assumed was why the president liked to extemporize – he wouldnt have written ithe didnt write it

reading and writing go together hand in hand

so who wrote it

whos Drumpfs Goebbels

1001,  Twosday,  7  7. 20

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/trump-identifies-new-enemy-americans-he-doesn-t-n1232942?cid=eml_mra_20200706

he liked that he happened when he happened

he was happening once  this was it

he wasnt buying into the after party when he was deadhe wasnt going to Heaven -- capital H  right ­­– an amphitheatre faceted with doors allll the way around so no matter the cult religion belief the race  everyone finally stumbles in and rubs their eyeballs in disbelief  and Gets It finally 

                                                           he lived to witness the startled expression of a few at the door who enteredwho had been so cocksure their Heaven was the only Heaven then finding an Ellis Island on steroids without TB and quarantines and quotas

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

seemed to him if the First People didnt get a crack at limiting who entered the New World why should the last squirrelly fucks have a say

he liked that he happened when he happened

he didnt happen before

                            unlike others who insisted they had

he wasnt happening again

                                unlike others who insisted they would

Letem say

               Faith doesnt have a Free Pass waiting at the door or Will-Call window

1954,  Thursday,  30  1. 20

1408,  Sunday,  5  7. 20

Beatles  The Long and Winding Road   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4HjTH_fTM

the headline is: Trump identifies a new enemy: Americans he doesn’t like.

                                                                              https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/trump-identifies-new-enemy-americans-he-doesn-t-n1232942?cid=eml_mra_20200706

South Dakota Senator “Gotta play the cards you’re dealt” – “Lucky” John Thune said of the presidents speech at Mount Rushmore (his state) during the coronavirus pandemic 

                                                          “Right now, obviously, Trump has a problem with the middle of the electorate, with independents, and they’re the people who are undecided (possibly the touted Silent Majority) in national elections . . . I think he can win those back (if Trumps lucky like Thune), but it’ll probably require not only a message that deals with substance and policy (say  a campaign platform), but I think, a message that conveys, perhaps, a different tone.”

hed always been amazed how politicians can speak and say nothing

the president isnt a politician he said 

                                         “Our nation is witnessing a merciless campaign to wipe out our (Confederate) history, defame our (Confederate) heroes, erase our values and indoctrinate our children . . . Angry mobs (protestors) are trying to tear down statues of our (Confederate) founders, deface our most sacred (Confederate) memorials and unleash a wave of violent crime in our cities.

“In our schools, our newsrooms, even our corporate boardrooms, there is a new far-left fascism that demands absolute allegiance (not to be mistaken from his demand of unswerving loyalty). If you do not speak its language (as he speaks code to his White nationalists and supremacists), perform its rituals, recite its mantra, and follow its commandments (?), then you will be censored, banished, persecuted, and punished . . . Make no mistake: this left-wing cultural revolution is designed to overthrow the American Revolution (the Civil Wars Confederacy).”

Senator Thune SIEG HEIL?

1102,  Monday,  6  7. 20

https://www.adl.org/education/resources/glossary-terms/defining-extremism-white-supremacy                                                       https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/trump-angry-nationalism-rushmore/  https://apnews.com/8513ec966d26d1c850e7cab0b269997c                                                                                    

You don’t buy into Heaven?

Buy  into  Heaven 

                     Id say thats an innarestin proposition  but to my mind innarestin is muddled ambivalent an there shouldnt be any roomnot nook or crannynot any leeway to slip a blade in or its point or edge that I might be misconstrued  or for you to complain or plea that you were confused

                                                                         Buy  into Heaven

Your proof
            Has coin been struckhard currency of legitimate value to buy into Heaven

the man near went crosseyed  You take me too literally.

Then tighten up your remarks

                                Is there real estate  Bitcoins  Im not one to try an run circles aroundget behind me to blow smoke rings up my ass Yes  Yes yes  yes  there are those who like that 

However  not me

I BELIEVE to each his own

                              An believing that you go proselytise to someone who is willing to bend an ear to your words

Knock Knock
               Im aint home

he never cared what consenting adults did behind closed doors

Life was a big fresh fruit basket fallen to eager happy hands

                                                                not eager greedy hands if he could be sure the blood wouldnt taint or despoil the basket hed happily cut them off 

he couldnt be

so he didnt

sometimes what you reach for gets away from youOhBrutha try and be polite No thank you That wasnt what I wanted

1954,  Thursday,  30  1. 20

1506,  Sunday,  5  7. 20

she startled himrapped at the motel room door usually she scratched like a cat she knew cats pussies warmed the cockles of his heart tickled his nethers that would be his cock and balls  

he didnt lock the door never did  Comonin babe

she didnt

Come in babe

still she didnt

he walked over to the turquoisepainted door to match the drapes -- nobody knew tacky like him and didnt bother with the peekhole she wouldnt fit  he didnt like the fisheye len look either

pulling the door openwithout looking out Whassup babe Didnt you hear me

OHgoodness

          wha a beastwha a chica he didnt know they came in Tall fullfigured curly jetblack hair jungle fullmouth fulllips  black lipstick  penetrating shark eyes  cateye eyeliner

she stood in the doorway she shifted her hips

Excuse me  err er he cleared his throat   Can I help you

Joe?

Yes  Im Joe

Ysabel her Spanish accent spicing her words Ysabel asked me if I wanted to stop by, she is unable to be here today.

Excuse me  asked you if you wanted to stop by

Si.

Si Nice  Understand that thats probably the extent of my Spanish Mexican as my father would say Twentytwo years older than me and theres Spanish spoken in Spain Mexican spoken by Mexicans 

I love my Dad

after a momentary silence laughter bubbled out of her throat bright champagne bubbles iridescent

                                                                                                         she didnt cover her mouth he thought maybe he saw fangs

May I come in?

If Ysabel asked you if you wanted to stop sure  Whas your name  he turned his back and entered the room

Daisy.

Daisy

Si, my name is Daisy.  she closed the door behind her

Family name

she laughed again it bounced off the felt wallpapered walls Gothic Damask flocked to incite lust  or murder

he saw fangs

              he may have gulped out loud

her laughter quit bitten off my her smile her mouth full of white teethbrilliant compared to her complexion he could see his cock in her mouth  Eat it DAISY we all have to die of somethingbleeding out in a cheap motel room sounds mythic

No, not a family name. My parents give me Daisy to upset their parents. Throughout my Mama’s pregnancy they hounded them, kept offering them names. Mama and Poppy figured that they named twentytwo children between them, they weren’t interested; but my grandparents, despite repeatedly being told my parents weren’t interested, they wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t. So they named me what they wanted.

Daisy  Im tickled they stuck to their guns

Huh? I do not understand, stuck to their guns?

Stayed with what they planned My motherinlaws Japanese so I appreciate vernacular swinging and missing Your grandparents were displeased

Yes. They call me pet names. They don’t call me Daisy.

I like that your name is incongruent to your appearance  Youre startling your names startling

That is nice of you to say, Joe.

I didnt say it to be nice Im not nice

Ysabel said you say that.

How do you know Ysabel

She is my cousin.

You share stories

We have been very close since we were little.

Thats nice

Yes, it is very nice. We share everything. There are no secrets between us.

I wouldnt think I was a secret

Not between Ysabel and I, no. Our families don’t know you.

Weve only been seeing each other a few months

Happy months, yes? Ysabel is very happy seeing you.

We hit it off really well an continue to enjoy each other

Yes, and that is why I’m here, why Ysabel asked me to come; to stop.

I appreciate you stopping by to tell me Ysabel wouldnt be able to make it this afternoon.

I didn’t stop to tell you that.

No  You didnt stop to tell m . . 

. . No.

Im  confused

I read people very well, some people, my family, think I can read their minds.

poker face

            Can you read minds

                                       

I should say what you were thinking when we met . . is why I came today. Ysabel calls you . . . voracious.

She told me, which she said you’d find funny, I could pinch hit for her this afternoon.

surprisedhe laughed hard maybe harder than hed laughed in a long time Pinch hit

Yes. Pinch hit.

               I am not seeing anyone. Men who I meet don’t interest me. You, through Ysabel’s words, her smiles, her happiness, interested me.

THAT  interesting

Yes.  THAT interesting.

Ysabel . . 

. . I said . . we share . everything.

1833,  Friday,  3  7. 20

1224,  Sunday,  5  7. 20

CSN&Y  Triad  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lp5Ope65mQ