he was riding in a bus and overheardOH BULLSHIT!  Overheard.  Youre an eavesdropping sonofabitch. Overheard my ass. You listen in on people’s conversations for their odd notesodd perspectives. Then you take themrob them of pearls they had no idea they held in their hands. Okay. Doesn’t make you a thief. An opportunist. An then you ramp it up an make it your own.

he had mixed feelings about that personality inside of him who was quicker on the draw than him Im just borrowing scattered seeds whether theyre overheard or seen  I take them so weyou and I we  can enjoy the fertile garden we live in

Garden?

         Somehow that’s suggestive of, you suggesting, The Garden . .

. . The garden before Adam and Eve The culmination of the Big Bangwhen the bits and pieces finally came together Innocence a matter of survival not perverted or deviant Monkeys grown smartthen too smart for their own good do that They think they can stretch out their demise by their rich thinking they can exist above it exist above the accumulated garbage and squalor

They cant

Infection is microscopic

Its in the air like Valley Fever

Eventually theyll suck the Big One like everyone elseId rather suck it while its young and fresh

Suckin on someone elses drool isnt appealing

You have away with words, a disgusting way with words. Ever think of writing descriptively, tantalisingly, menu items?

No

one of two boys sitting side by side mentioned Rubin Carter

                                                             immediately he wanted to interrupt themcorrect them  Hurricane thats Hurricane Carter  he deserves your respect your compassion  Another black man treated badly because the colour of his skin  Were exceptional here in the United States regarding race  Exceptional

                                                                                                             but he didnt

it was really nice to hear two boys talk about Hurricane

he remembered listening to Hurricane off Bob Dylans Desire when it came out 

he recorded it onto a cassette so he could listen to it while driving through the South to Florida  Miami 

he played it loudly when stopped for gas

a few heads turned

                    Yer not from around here, are ya boy?

No I suppose my license plates were the dead giveawayhuh he was an old white man  he couldnt expect otherwise

later Nelson Algrens The Devil’s Stocking elaborated what Dylan had alluded to and which he had no doubt was true

Hurricane Carter finally was released from prison in 1985 

twenty years of his life run out behind bars

a young man

                a middleaged man

how would he feel if he was condemned to spend twenty years confined  behind bars his freedom taken by virulent racism  prejudice  

                    he couldmight be coerced to kill someone once he got out make those years stolen from him count for something

theres no saying what the ire of being kept behind bars knowing you were innocent might engender or culminate in 

difficult medicine to swallow  They were wrong You were convicted on “evidence” by a jury  he couldnt help but wonder of its racial makeup  

he was happy to have met and known Hurricane the only way he could  and reminded so by the two boys he overheardBULLSHIT

2208,  Sunday,  28  4. 19

1234,  Monday,  29  4. 19

Bob Dylan  Hurricane  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpZvg_FjL3Q

https://www.thenation.com/article/nelson-algren-biography-norton/

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/21/rubin-hurricane-carters-life-story-is-a-warning-to-us-about-racism-and-revenge

they made eye contact as she entered the store 
                                                  because he was looking as she looked because she was announced by the emphatic whisper of the pneumatic sliding glass doors  by their evident   enthusiasm  

they werent just opening for a common Joe or Josephine OhHell no 
                                                                      once in a great while they opened for and swallowed an exceptional creature  and doing so their pleasure and happiness was apparent 

someone might refute what he understood 
                                            but hed been there long enough to parse their sounds and actionslong enough to discern the difference in their labour the difference between that what was common or everyday and that which enticed and excited them

he heard them bolt open and then he heard the long languid complimentary wolfs whistle as they slowly closed behind her

hed have been a fool if he didnt lift his head to look and greet her  
                                                                       Hellooo there!
he couldnt help himself

maybe she couldnt help herself either
                                        Hellooo there!  

she made a beeline towards him immediately cutting off any attempt his coworkers might have made to intercede or garner her attention

he diminished the space between themlike sudden gravity and beelined towards her

Hello butterfly

she laughed openmouthed 
                              Butterfly?

Decidedly so A beautiful butterfly

Oh goodness, I think we’re going to get along famously.

I know we are  How can I help

I’m part of a bridal party and the bride has asked me to buy her tequila.

Sounds like my kind of girl Too bad shes betrothed

Did you say betrothed?

I did My tongue works in mysterious ways Long ago I quit stepping on and let it loose to do as does  And that allows me to take credit for its actions   You see

I, suppose I do; may I borrow your betrothed? I think I’ll blow her mind.

Certainly Youre welcome to any help I can provide to demolish it Though to be fair  the wedding isnt tomorrow is it

No. We’re warming up to it. This is girls’ night.

And youre staying where

Where?
         she laughed openmouthed again 
                                             No. I don’t think I’m going to share you. I want you all to myself.

Ah  Greedy

Yes. Particularly when I have an edge on.

her features werent sharp eyes wide Native nose fortunatelyformed lips strong throat nice collars an inviting suprasternal hollow which led down into her soft evident furrow then looking back up and into her eyes Your edge isnt apparent

That’s nice of you to say.

I accept your . . discernment.

Thank you maybe others would have been uncomfortable with the long silence between them but they seemed to understand the words of their magnetism 

Tequila

Yes she said  a bit hoarsethroaty

Yes

Tequila

This way 

Follow me

I’m happy to follow you.

he started to walk then turned he walked backwards he was enjoying her too much to give up a moment

he led her to the tequila aisle and backing up into it he asked Is the bride mixing or taking it straight

I ask to consider Silver White Blanco or an aged Reposado or a more aged Aniejo  the latter are cocktail tequilas which ought to be served straight sipped  relished

I think her idea was to take shots.

Traditional lemon lime salt  Maybe orange  A more raw tequila  he took a knee before the shelves he looked up at her then deliberately he looked at the hem of her dress soft cream cornflower seamless vector pattern he knew more than he cared to say so he didnt he admired the curvature of her thighs shape of her calves 

                                                                                      I very much like your dress Suits you wellyour colour

Thank you  again somewhat hoarse

Youre welcome

silence much deliberation he stayed to his knee  looking up at her   looking at her

If its an inexpensive tequila hydrate between shots  Hydrate hydrate shoot

Not too inexpensive.

I like Cazadoresenjoy its stag its emblem their Reposado  I also enjoy Casamigos its agave fan  coloured like oxidized copper Thirty to sixty his eyes went back and forth between hersbetween her bust her eyesbetween her hem her eyes

the doors were not wrong

I think for our purpose, our girls’ night, the Cazadores, the stag, would be ideal. You know?

I think a very good choice

You know . . she said absently   

Do I know  the silence between them was screaming 

You know if . . if . . . if I didn’t have a date; I’d love to take you to the wedding.

he smiled 
           I could be taken

she laughed loudly openedmouth laughed loudly drowning out the silence screaming between them

he thoughtshe thought she thoughthe thought between them This was nice   improbable   very nice to imagine

he stood up  Here  let me  take  get  a couple three bottles  Take them up to the counter for you

Yes.  Please.

Anything else butterfly

No, no, not that I can, think; I think.

the doors werent as anxious to let her out  they slowly drew apart   noiselessly

I hear ya he said

                    I do appreciate the heads up

2224,  Friday,  5  4. 19

1207,  Twosday,  30  4. 19

:  :  late  i’ll txt morensoon

72 hours earlier

                     not a letter a breath  a nod   since

no news is good news 

                        or because he was becoming impatient a task in itself it could also mean death  something someone had died

these thoughts presentedran their fingers through the loose coils of his brain  absently he penned CONVENIENCE IS NOTHINGNESS 

               it made sense when he wrote it  but this morningdrinking black seed tea a bag of ginger turmeric herbal tea suspended in it he couldnt make sense of either convenience or nothingness  separately they made sense  but not together 

their quietude was beginning to irk himhe irked himself 

why hadnt he elaborated or did he believe then it was apparent and he didnt have to extend his thoughts

now he wish he had

thinking back on writing itjust because something appeared at the top of the page didnt necessarily mean that those words occurred to him first  he was in a bad habit  he circulated across a page  it also didnt mean anything if words began at the lefthand indexthey might not have begun there  sometimes looping arrows crisscrossed the text  phrases were written upside down  he turned the page upsidedownhe couldnt write upsidedown but he could print or write backwards Jeanine Flannery taught him in high school if only she hadnt been so painfully thin

what had he meant

or had his growing frustration with her scribbled it

to frustrate him even more       

0714,  Friday,  26  4. 19

1015,  Monday,  29  4. 19

The Milk Carton Kids  Michigan  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEDnGAvjQXw 

dogs an cats

whether one had one or the other was a statement regarding their personality

dogs

      whether one cared to admit it or nottheyre dragged around behind their animal

they gather up its shit 

a dog wouldnt make you cleanup after them

                                               but if you were a worthwhile human beingif you were cool you picked up after them  

unfortunately hes had to heave more than one handful of dogshit at a dogowner than he cared to admit

dont pick it up

you wear it

he had cats 

there wasnt a choice whether or not to cleanup their catboxes after them

at least he didnt have to walk themdidnt have to worry whether or not they were spending quality time together

cats are independent

he was independent

dogs werent

neither were they who had a dog

they needed attention

                      were needy 

they needed happiness to be made for them  rather than providing their own

hed rather go to hell than put that onus on another human being

2213,  Sunday,  28  4. 19

1444,  Monday,  29  4. 19

he looked down into his drink  a Redbreast 15 neat  he mused at its quiet prism through the liquor through the crystal tumbler play on the handrubbed bar  She gave me her number

I should to call

Yes his brother-in-law said  You should.

I should

          Though I wonder how many times shes given her number out

2228,  Sunday,  28  4. 19

2352,  Monday,  29  4. 19

Ahnah yadidnt  Ya  just   didnt

Didn’t?

Dont play with me

I thought you wanted me to play with you.

Im not parlaying

You wanna get laid or not?

Of courseyes

You wanna fuck me, do things to me, with me?

Yes

Then that’s the price.

Athena

I’m a business woman. If you wanna get down to business that’s the going price.  And not that you know it, but I’m offering you a significant discount.

he struggled with this conversation  confounded wouldnt be off the mark

he looked into her marvelous huge brown eyes

                                                 their hue matching the colour of her skinher flawless smooth delectable skin

his eyes fell out of hers and traveled down her broad nose her full mouth  her cleft chin  her strong throat  the deepchasm of her cleavage

Jesus Athena

Jesus, what?  He’s part of this transaction the price goes up, is He watching or does He want in the mix?

Funny

I am funny. That’s another reason, aside from my obvious attributes, that you’re drawn to me, baby.

Now all you gotta do is come across with the cash, or transfer funds via PayPal . . though, that’s a ridiculous proposition.

It is  But frankly this is too

You don’t want in my panties? You don’t want me to suck the life out of you, turn you inside out, through your cock? You don’t wanna do me doggie-style, don’t wanna fuck my tits?

Oh, baby.   I know you do.

Your cock’s listening, I'm watching it move as we talk.

Im not denyin a word youre saying.

Then man-up. Ante-up. I’m not busting your budget, at least not that I can tell, not for you covering our coffees; our drinks the other evening.

I wouldnt be bustin the bank

No Thats a separate considerationyou can understand that  that thats something else entirely   Athena

she quieted down she didnt want to blow the deal

Athena Do you know ofperhaps not your namesake  but who Athena isthe mythical Greek Athena

Look at me. You see who I am.  You might understand I haven’t had the benefits you’ve enjoyed . . 

. . Curiosity

Excuse me?

I said curiosity

What about curiosity?

Youre incurious

What are you getting at?  she was feeling the deal slipping away

Athena The goddess Athena  You share names 

Werent you curious why your motheryour parents named you Athena Not a usual tried-an-true name is it   Athena

You trying to beat me down for my name? I’m not haggling. My price is my price.

Im not haggling  Im shocked

In my entire life Ive never paid for sex because I dont have sex  I have relationships  

Youll forgive me if I dont start now

Im a disappointment

A fucking disappointment, Joe.

he smiled Actually thats not true Athena  We havent fucked   You wouldnt have been disappointedI wouldnt have been disappointed Im sure  Mutually we would have been pleased

Let me share this with you  because Im not paying you to have sex with me  

Goddess Athena was a virgin she was associated with wisdom handicraft and warfare

What I really dug about her is that she was born from Zeuss head she bested the mortal Arachne in a weaving contest and transformed her into the first spider  she also transformed Medusa into a Gorgon after witnessing her rape by Poseidon 

Unfortunately Athena didnt make Medusa immortal  only a demigod   Perseus slayed her

Athena  youre more powerful than you recognise  I refuse to submitI wont submit to your inestimable wiles

Youve got more going for you than you think

Then why am I feeling gypped?

Get in line

no fuckin date-timestamp, was working with Black-dont-crack Franklin,  Fall,  2018

1409,  Saturday,  27  4. 19

2 things occurred to him in the shower before work this evening 

                                                                    he was trying to reverse-engineer his evening to get them back

2 was a feeble attempt

he always wrote two 

                       it was like a razor slitting his brain which isnt as bad as it sounds his brainanyones brain didnt feel pain you could run bare foot through it  throw it against a brick wall and it would prattleooze forth nahnahnahnah OUCH 

       no brains were beyond pain pain was understood by the tactile nervous system

take the same razor used to slice his immediate Neocortex (which wrapped the Limbic which wrapped the Reptilian gawd he loved his base self ) slash his fingertips his howl would put a coyote or wolf to shame 

                                                                                            the pain worsening as the blood coagulatedbecame tacky things stuck to his fingertips and had to be ripped away like bandaids clinging to the hairs of his arms legs

WAKE UP!

WAKE UP! 

                what were the 2 things that pricked him in the shower maybe if it was in a jailhouse and he bent over to pick upretrieve the soap bar an inmate knocked out of his hands thats a joke its a joke because it didnt have to be a jailhouse it could be in a high school shower after PE physical education after sport practise  there doesnt exist a more crude creature than a wanton teenage boy shot through with hormones sexually inexperienced

                                                                                                    theyd fuck a sheep name it and boast I fucked Sally Shes from another school

like fishing with the wrong bait or fly  nothing was rising    

he was going to sleep on it

Check back in the morning wouldja

it was morning  or mourning 

                               1 of the 2 returned to him actually the first that occurred to him

no sooner than his head hit the pillow it bullrushed him Yahyah  I rememberI remember

he thought to unearth himself

it was a particularly cold evening

he slept with the window open

he could see his breath like a ghost vapour against the night

his body was just beginning to heat the blankets and himself

Fuck it

If I cant remember in the morning thats on meIll remember 

                                                             he liked to bet on himself  the only bet hed take was one where he could physically manipulate its outcome he was allabout fist fights

he didnt play the lottery

he didnt gamble

hed toss a coin heads or tails  as long as he was tossing the coin

he wasnt jealous of anyone who won big money 

                                                   for once the word was out the shit was trying to retain it  

keep it

not have your throat cut 

                         because people cut someones throat for money Inhumanity  greedy Homo sapiens  

hell  they devised religion to fleece Others

he wasnt one of the Faithful

hed rather poke it in the eye with a sharp stick

indie  1 of 2   What the fuck’s with her?

She just had kittens

That’s her problem.

Seems its your problem too Shes chasing your ass all around the house to hell and back because for some reason she thinks youre a threat to her kittens

I was here first. You brought her into the house . .

. . It wasnt me . . 

. . You didn’t say No

No I didnt The tyranny of relationships The tyranny of believing another will be as you are We mindfuck ourselves And were responsible for living with the endgame  Because if we had balls or ovaries  wed kill it

That’s pretty grim. And I’m a cat.  I don’t have the deductive abilities or intuitions your species does.

Yaint saying much Bigger brains aint the be-all end-all  Ill correct myself  We can easily be the end-all  At this time in our reign weve taken to let ourselvesan you to live in a toilet bowl  I often wonder when someones gonna quit saving water and flush it

But back to the situation at hand

The situation you’ve put me in.

Yes That situation

And?

And in any situation  as long as you run from it it will pursue you

Genius.

I know that.

And I’m a cat.

Awright  Stop running

You’ll excuse me if I caution the same.

I would

So, let’s pose a thought experiment. 

I think I’ve heard you mutter as much.

Although I think you’re muttering is facetious.

Facetious  Pretty big word for a cat

Ah. But I’m your cat. I hang on your words.

Because no one comes here and speaks.

So my understandings are incumbent upon you; and either you’re intelligent or you’re a horse’s ass.

I have no means to differentiate between learned and vacuous.

However.

My vocabulary suggests a thoughtful learning; even if it isn’t accurate.

Well this is sobering

The situation as you’ve alluded, if I am accurate, regarding october and her kittens, if I try to stand my ground she’ll tear me up, she’s seven years younger than me, and female; the situation is . . What’s mine is hers, and what’s hers is hers.

Accurate?

out of the mouths of animals and babeshuh

1247 or 0047,  Sunday,  28  4. 19

1116, Sunday,  28  4. 19