their conversation degraded  usually did 

                                           it began discussing secondary sexual characteristics  or as his buddy preferred to irritate him SSC  onset degradation  physical characteristics developing at puberty distinguishing the sexes but not directly involved in reproduction

buddys take wanderedwide was ridiculous he zealously insisted breastsize increased over millennia to please men 

NO  Not to please men

To attract men.

Women were genetically inclined to attract men You

Yes.

Hmm  Anwhabout women who arent largebreasted largebreasted your obvious preference  shoudnt lessendowed women have died out during your evolution

Whatever.

Not whaever

No matter, lots of people don’t even know what SSC are.

he nodded  Youd think tha   Anif you had solely used that gawddamn acronym I woudnt have known either

You know what it is.

Now

       But as Ive said Ill forget it as soon as  wellHell as soon as Im hungry again after eating Chinese food or as soon as my brother said he was horny again after having sex with a Korean working girl last century

                                                                                                      I believe thamany more know it than you think   Particularly women Who are the better sex

he shook his head as though the words were pitiful They’re not.

   They are

               Only by brute force have men kept them down

Was the way of the world.

Not was it continues continuesmaybe not as overtly blatantly but ongoing attempts to shackle them continue  In this country by whinny white men lookin over their shoulders fearful of losing their entitlement Frankly had there been parity between the sexes this woud be a Womans World kinda like most pro sports had black men been allowed to compete white men woud be cryin now for affirmative action so they coud make the team

he watched his face contort Mr Genetics Science man Yawanna argue deny tha

No.

     But it is what it is.

Another whaever No 

                        It doesnt have to be its about time it isntKahrist the freakin Twentyfirst Century

   You feel threatened  I don

Not threatened no.  Men are superior to women.

Wrong  Across the board

                              Ill say this bout tha  

I can’t wait. Going after white men.

In this countryyes

I’m listening.

Until yare not

I’ll listen.

Therell be a test afterwards White Christian Conservatives   Or WWCs if you will he laughed out loud shook his head side to side

              I crack me up

Anyway Whadaya think theyre thinking when theyre in church

So this isn’t a lecture?

Yare a man Were talking about men something you know about a certain kind of man 

                                                                                            Ya got two cents

I don’t know what they’re thinking when they’re in church.

Hint

I don’t want to guess. I don’t work that hard. No thanks.

The crucifix

No.

Jesus

No.

If he was he wasnt white  So when they lookup they see a white man on a cross White men crucified

I don’t think so.

Id say there are very few coloured Jesuses on crosses in churchs across America 

                                                                                       Though I may be wrong

1445,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

1111,  Reggaefriday,  29  9. 23

https://religionnews.com/2023/03/14/five-charts-that-explain-the-desperate-turn-to-maga-among-conservative-white-christians/

he didnt get upanout on the wrongside of the bed in the morning  then made it

                                                                                  but

he did get in on the wrongside at night

to read

a greenglass bankers lamp stood on the highboy beside the bed

among other books he was reading  The Free World  Louis Menand

                                                                        from Lionel Trillings Art and Fortune in The Liberal Imagination (I)deology is not acquired by thought, but by breathing the haunted air . . . (It) is a strange submerged life of habit and semihabit in which to ideas we attach strong passions but no very clear awareness of the concrete reality of their consequences.

AHMEN brother

Their now Menand political opinions may be rigid; they are not necessarily rigorous. They tend to float up out of some mix of sentiment, custom, moral aspiration, and aesthetic pleasingness.

Right on

Trilling Unless we insist that politics is imagination and mind, we will learn that imagination and mind are politics, and of a kind that we will not like.

Speakin to the choir

these were why he wouldnt get out of bed on the wrongside  didnt want to soil them like loaves of bread nourishing him he didnt want to risk dropping them in some foetid thing that would make them unappetisingsuddenly moldy  rancid

granted thats a leap

                       improbable

not impossible

think that way

become lax

             just asking for it 

however white male entitled

he was not privileged

which is nothing more than pouring gas on an assumedrighteous fire

its been probably threeanhaffour months out on the rightside in on the wrong  hes slept better than he ever hasdreamt  better than he ever has 

might be a streak

it may not

  though he was going to appreciate the hell out of it while it existed

                                                                         one voluptuous day at a time

  

1130,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1205,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

Max Richter  She Remembers  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwzFrY-xmHY

OhChrist yakiddin me

You’ll help me? she asked

   Awfuck

                   Okay yah

Are you upset with me?

I am

Why?

   Why

           Come over here  Stand by me

she walked over beside him beside the picnictable

You feel tha

   Feel what?

Let your hair down Propup your antennae

                                                    Feel tha feel anything

No I don’t.

Nothing nada

   Nothing.

               I don’t feel anything.

Fack

You feel somethin . .

. . Ya think Id ask you to stand with me if I didnt

                                                    Kinda like standing by a firepit warmingup on a cold day kid standing in front of the Frigidaire door open on a hot humid day house aint airconditioned

she looked around and round  

didnt met his eyes

couldnt do it forever

                           finally she looked at him  Nothing.   I don’t feel anything.

dejected Awright

                   Lets move it

I could . .

. . Find somebody elseNo

                          Lets do it  Im here now

Thank you.

Please  Don

they moved it four times

I like that. What do you think?

Nope  Like it the way it was

I want to change things up.

You certainly have

Indubitably? she giggled

glanced at her Donbe cute

You like indubitably, makes you smilelaugh.

Not now

tersely  Yawanna blowjob?

No

     Thank you

What bug crawled up your ass?

Bug

    You  Thought youd be attuned  My error

Attuned to what?

Chi  Yare a chi-blocker

                          Cant believe ya don feel it 

NO.

Well nothings to be done

                           Time comes when you want to change it up return it to the way it was call me any hourany day  Be here in a heartbeat

   In a heartbeat?

Heartbeat

You really detest its placement?

Detest the alignment  It fuckin detests its alignment 

                                                       Pity it its stationary got legs but cant move on its own  Have a little pity

It’s inanimate.

Yare inanimate he didnt say

You’re a piece of work.

Asya know

I’ve disappointed you.

Yes I havent been this disappointed in you since  since well    since

she rolled her eyes

                     Since?

Since you cockblocked me Halloween three years ago  The Brazilian chick

she glared

           You were drunk  You didnt know where she's been. She only would have used you.

I was interested in being usedwhere shes been

                                                        Ya didnt offer me a blowjob then  Cumpensation

I had no intentions of blowing you today.

DUH

they were quiet for a time

So. she finally said attempted humour

                                                I’m a chi-blocker?

As equally talented as a cock-blocker

I got go kiddo he kissed her on the forehead

You’re mad?

Less mad

When will I see you?

Anywhere but here

It’s summer . . I’ve got the pool.

Ya do

        Zip chi

1500,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

1308,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

he didnt ask her what she didhe didnt ask anybody what they did

                                                                        hed ask Whaya readin

she said her own volition

I apologise again please I don know whatha is

I’m an ecopsychologist.

took him a momenthad to taffypull the two apart 

                                                            ahmade sense see a human being the natural world as one not separate treat them accordingly

I didnt know thawas a thing How longs it been around

It specifically, Eightynine, out of Berkeley.

Are you attending Berkeley

I wish no, my mentor did. He encouraged me to travel to Asia, take in their holistic, Eastern if you will, practisesapproaches to healing, compare them to the West’s.

                                                                Was a no-brainer. 

Have a Masters degree

Yes.

Youll excuse me all to Hell ya look like at teenager just beginning college

I’m twentynine.

I woudnt have guessed Keep it up kiddo at fifty youll look thirty

Thank you

their conversation sprawled

she journaled he wrote

they dreamed

he could lucid dream

                      she said she couldnt 

he strongly encouraged her continue trying 

                                             Use an appealing white noise to leap from into a priorconceived scenario place  when dreaming walking past a tablepause touch it feel its texturethe warmth of the woodmaybe warmed in the sun cool if evening  try little thingssubtle things  it will progress

she asked how lucidwhat could he command

Anything

           Dreaming nothing is impossible

I can fly I can breathe underwater

 

he met her months ago

waking this morning he thought of her 

dreamt

        found himself in an unknown kitchen with an unknown womanhe rarely dreamed of people he knew  she was wearing a crisp 50s housedress a gingham bibbedapron stood at the sink looking pensively out the window distracted  the dream was to have him interrupt herask what she was thinking

                                                                       instead

he walked up behind hersnatched her at the waist began spinning her like a fourspoked baton halted she upsidedown her apron dress fallen over her face he had only seen it opaquelyreflected in the kitchen window bit each cheek clothed in her white cotton pantiesnot too hard hard enough to make her bark like a happy dog expecting a bone

why ask

it was his dream

midnightAM dream,  Monday,  25  9. 23

1032,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

https://ies.bio/ecopsychology/what-is-ecopsychology/

https://www.ecopsychology.org/journal/ezine/ep_origins.html

DROUGHT

            tangentially

a drought in the sense of peoples physicality lack of fitness which he witnessed in airports a once-a-year endeavor  rolling their baggageLUGgage as they sipped coffee or cold drinks munch paperwrapped foodstuff wheelslocked tucked underfoot in transient appeals of bay restaurants “The TSA would like to remind youbadger you that any unattended baggage is prohibited in the terminal area. Any unattended baggage will be removed by the airport police.”

drought

   slovenliness

although inclinedmanipulated September11inherited  as TSA (Transportation Security Administration) adjunctsyes herd airtravelers line them up have them dressdown scour their bags and bodies with ionizing radiation Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) forhe loved it benign undivested itemsanwhynot (BUIs)

                                                                          ticketed passengers slough through airports which compared to when he was younger now seem no more than shabby bus depots regaled to inner cities remote compounds located on the outskirts of urbanity

 

if airports ran like German trains he wouldnt have realised how deep a drought America was in

1420ish,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

0912,  Thursday,  28  9. 23

https://www.rd.com/article/what-do-airport-body-scanners-see/

Republican presidential debate this evening on FOX  again 

                                                                    former dodged it

much like he dodged military service for Vietnam

so much for presidential timber

   cowering

2117,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  9. 23

Fuck you ya really whining about white boys . .

. . I didn’t say whit . .

. . Ya don have to I will because prior you havent whined about black or coloured boys being disadvantaged So now yare whininbout white boys who cant keepup with women of all colours an therefore we need to assist them Fuck them fuck you  Disadvantaged my ass  

For millennia women were denied educationdenied participation in society an politics by men In kind with tha wha the Supreme Court pulled on Blacks in 2013 gutting preclearance because Chief Justice John Roberts wrote nearly fifty years fifty years  things have changed dramatically voter turnout and registration approachfucking approach  parity minority candidates hold offices at unprecedented levels THOSE CONCLUSIONS ARE NOT OURS ALONE He doesnt say who elses An the reason Black voting rights existed was BECAUSE preclearance existed to defend their rights

They determined fifty years was plenty

                                          Id retort 1619  Fourhunred years would be appropriate  Therefore 2013 plus threehunredfifty years  2363  now the fuckin Supreme Court can prattlehave something to say

An regarding your whining about disadvantaged white boys Lets visit tha in millennia They cant keep up with their female counterparts fuck em       

1732,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  9. 23

https://www.rockthevote.org/explainers/shelby-v-holder/

Chief Justice John Roberts  https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/570/529/

hadnt had this debate before

   eventually he conceded higher or by degrees was  different

though different buddys opinion is gentler  less combative

                                                             however

he was combative assertive prone to confrontation  aggressive

                                                                  they were comparingvaluing  evaluating  womens attractiveness  physicality he had to inject intellect and their opines drastically differed to use his word

he ardently maintained his standards were substantially higher  holdingup his lefthand palm parallel to the ground eyelevel  This is me  holdingup his right likewise collarbone level  This is you

at playin particular was breast size

                                      buddys audacious opinion was that women have developed larger breasts over time for his for mens pleasureNO

he didnt even care if a womens breasts were augmentedNO

                                                               when buddy issued thatwhen it bound out of his mouth he punctured the airDealbreaker  he also reminded him that a singular thingone thing  made a dealbreaker   not an accumulation

So  lemme say this about your different standard Youre attracted to the vintage silvermetal womans silhouette on truck mudflaps

I am.

Vacuous 

             Rest my case

1411,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

1243,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  9. 23

Tha was   reallyodd he muttereddusting scales lengths of rustcoloured papery onionskin out of his hair with his fingers

Comeuppance said a mariachi

Ohno possibly miraculous

   NO Not when considering your wastebeing someone who prides himself Waste not want not Youve been a wastrel

Take tha

Tha Whadahell

Yah 

       Whadahell  Nowya got a mess to cleanup

on the kitchen floor crackscrevasses the counters range the hood on his shoulders in his clothing down his back papery onionskin

           at first out of the corner of his eyelike a snowflake he saw something fall

it hit the floor

he stepped over to itstooped

piece of onionskin

                   Whadahells this  Tunic he read thaswha its called not a week ago

he touched his finger to his tongue daubedup the skin inspected it it was onionskin

                                                                                         Huuh  

he went over to the trash opened it flicked the skin off his finger with his thumb into the waste closed it

the shallow pot on the stove where he was reheating coffee began making noise a ssshh steam beginning to rise

crossing back to it he turned off the electric burner pickedup a ceramic cup decorated with pawprints and opposite two blackcats blueeyes silhouetted against the overall wrap of a skyblue field 

                                                                               a piece of rust onionskin shuttledfell into it

he looked up at the textured offwhite ceiling

it darkened like an oncoming Midwest storm

an intense flurry of onionskin occurred

then as quick as it began the room began to brighten rusthaloes round the light fixtures brightening as the onionskins thinned thinned  then ceaseddesisted

everywhere in the kitchen

shambles

   mariachi Got your work cut out for you this morning even before you had your coffee

Please  nearly begging

You may not have known theyre an excellent source of vitamins antioxidants flavonoids  particularly quercetin which is a potent antioxidant anti-inflammatory which particularly for you anti-inflammatories are beneficial

   Yes

Yes

I did not know

Now ya do

            So when you get this mess cleanedup bag em Do not throw them away  Ill also note you washed the floor yesterday 

            A little dirt wont hurt

smartass mariachi

0843,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  9. 23

https://www.farmersalmanac.com/uses-onion-garlic-skins-30580

he was on the AI bandwagon again

                                     took everything in himeverytime not to throw a brick at himknock him off it

but to be fair he was frankhonest regarding his perception assessment 

it fortified his ardent belief systemhis working premise

                                                           he didnt want to work that hard 

anif one hasnt had to work hard  AIs God

It’ll make everything easier and easier for people. We just need to follow the solutions it gives us

NO  Directions directives  Not easiercertainly not easier for the people who will lose their jobswill be displaced by AI

Thasaid you know Im a luddite I can an do appreciate it as a toolappreciate its functionhow it can assist me when I research on-line  But thas the extent of it

As  You  Know

Ive minimised my dependency on electricity antha said When electricity collapses  Where does AI go  Where do we go since our younger generationsour infrastructure have been weaned at its tit  Easier and easier means dumber and dumber and dumber and dumber

I don think thas an good course 

                                  Things ought to remain difficult ought to test our mettle

Howbout advancement for disabled people? 

                                              Are you against that?

No Though are you for disabling all people

                                              No Ifya woud we got in under the wire we enjoyed childhoods we would not trade for the world  How woud you like to be born right now

                                                                Exciting times he almost Freudianslipped  exiting  Im being facetious Its underappreciated High on the unappreciated list  there with irony sarcasm an absurdity

Not for me  You

 

   You

he didnt think so would punch a hole in his AI

1415,  Reggaefriday,  22  9. 23

1301,  2sday,  26  9. 23

he wandered into her backyarddescending porch steps towards a picnic table on a separate patio that he helped her move because she asked

                            he had her ask again nicely and then again more nicer because he did not want to move itbecause  he was being a prick

she wanted it angled

it fucked with his chi

he said so

Well I live here you don’t.

Yawanna to contend with bad chi interrupted flow   breathe

I think I’ll like how it looks. she evaded his question asif that erased it he was used to that Which is why I’m asking your help.

        If I don’t like it we can move it back.

No were not he thought

                         Well  Youll have to live with it not me

What are you saying?

Youre quick

                Wha am I saying

I think . .

. . You know

   I think you’re saying you won’t be visiting me often.

Cela va sans dire 

It goes without saying.

   Yes Correct

walkingup on the table drink in hand he was pleased he didnt make a polite pour of her 15 year old Redbreast  the crystal tumbler held at least four fortifying ounces  he felt its sensuous innate heatpromise through the glass

she walked up behind himplaced her hand on his back

Still fucks with my chi

I like it.

he took a sip

she sipped Scotch

Something else

Really?

           Really something else?

Yah your new birdfeeder it hung just off to their right You texted me a picture when you hung it

I recall.

In the pic it looked larger than it is  I suppose now thawas for lack of scale

I’d agree, yes, I recall not wanting toshall I say . . risk . including the picnic table in it.

Despite me being able to recognise where you hung it.

I don’t think . . despite.

                           So what else?how’s your Irish? 

Ample thank you  Yare generous

I didn’t pour it. 

No

     But you had it in your cabinet

she nodded graciously

it had been uncracked

Thank you very much

You’re welcome.

   Not so fast doll

                       I may not be

How’s that?

The birdfeeder

she gazed at it  You like it?

I do

Then what?

Ill return to scale so not to leave you in a lurc . .

. . Which you do incessantly.

Gotta keepup

Oh . . not that you’re unlike stoodup aligned dominoes falling over each other.

Aw thank you thawas very nice

And accurate.

An accurate When I go I go

You do.

         So please, what of scale?

   Yes

           Now I understand dick pics

Really?

he laughed

              Really

and took a pleasedpull of the Redbreast

1400,  Reggaefriday,  22  9. 23

1112,  2sday,  26  9. 23