Awright   somethings afootdefinitely  queer     was approximately 2:30PM 

                                                  Witching hour  3AM

2:30 Thursday  21Sept

2:30 Saturday  23Sept

closing on the intersection at Rosario

Thursday crickets chirping during daylighthed never heard crickets chirp in the daylight

Saturday walkinreadin he hears a sharp clickclickclick a prance knows its a deer looks up an coming straight at him a sixpoint buck  a twoyear old

                               when he collapsed the book to his chestsaid Hello goodlookin the buck veered righttaking the corner headedup Rosario he watched it as it stopped two oncoming cars a third that came up behind it the clickclickclick suggested mild panic a buck in the neighbourhood isnt helpless hooves horns  can fuck somebody up real badnot him  he was not threatening

   crickets buck

broad daylight

next time he headed in that direction hed time it out see if possibly three times would be a charm

                                                                                                      seek the unknowable till he knew

reminding him of the ongoing A I argument he has with his brother-in-law trying to point out that computers lack the ability to speculate the ability to recognise the probability possibilities  alternate answers

                                                                                                How so?

You say computers can give us the answeroutcome for a delineated problem which rational people ought to comply with since they engagedemployed the tool A I 

Yes. 

No 

     First because no matter the solution it has to be implemented by human beings who cant agree between themselves let alone with a prejudicedthere was a programmer  a prejudiced biased tool

I disagree.

   I know you do

                   Secondly to use yours Rumsfelds unknown unknowns which I agree we cannot know however we can speculatefor instance cause and effect I suggest there are breaks in the chain an while computers can use everything known it cannot factor in what it doesnt cannot speculate hence a break   for instance language  its believed a language Ill call A has gone extinct it merely went underground  it resurfaces years later to some prominence  the computer will not recognise A but rather the recent knowable Aprime  thereby not factoring in A the underground A  absence of evidence is not evidence of absenceyou know tha  Wha Im sayin is there are contingencies speculations parallelifya woud  worldsNo I can see your expression  then fine  there exist parallel options numerous Aprimes that are not evaluated

I don’t think so.

But ya don know

                   A I is a tool not the be-all end-all

   hence why hed time himself to arrive at the Rosario intersection for approximately 2:30  to learn one way or the other

it was queer

does queer timedhappen  in the daylight

1224,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

Elton John  Tiny Dancer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g4MSYK5d3A  Rumsfeld Unknowns  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REWeBzGuzCc

AwJesus  he didnt mean it

                                Im sorry sorry  Sorry I didnt mean it   he looked hurt  Yacant be hurt You don understand English you don understand English anymore than youd understand Dutch German Spanish  French

still 

      he looked hurt

Im sorry

never ever neverever tell a pet a cat a dog hed never tell a dog because he wouldnt have one dog was a dealbreaker

Yare so fuckin severe   Anya can shaddup its my confession   Confession   Yah shaddup  

                                                                                                   a dog is a dealbreaker

mans best friend   nah  

never ever tell a pet youre cuddling whos sitting in your lap I have to put you down he was going to prepare his dinner  it fucks with their chi 

feng shui

1356,  Saturday,  23  9. 23

1050, Sunday,  24  9. 23

he liked to think he was up on thingsalthough to be awfully fair  consistently he asked his daughter if something was a thing only to have her tell him it was

“Dad.” she exercised patience  he taught her that  “As I’ve told you, if you think something’s a thing, it probably is.”  

   sobering

his girlfriend away on a trip wished him a happy Saturday  she was responding to his Happy Saturday sweetheart text

though she upped the ante  Happy Mabon!

Not a fuckin clue

  :  :  How are you? she asked

  :  :  I’d be better if I knew wha Mabon is

she wrote it was a pagan celebration he was all for pagan wicca wiccan  autumnal equinox  :  :  We use this time to reflect on the temporariness of all things . . to accept transitions that life brings.

temporary  his temporary ached 

                                   it ached from more transitions he ever thought possible tossed in a heap at his feet they were fuckin tough to accept  unexpected  they made him want to punch someoneanyone in the mouth  it was easy to say in regards to temporary that he was a little offkilter  unbalanced   volatile an understatement

  :  :  How wiccan are you?

                             she wouldnt know because he didnt tell her that reading it he pronounced wiccan wicked

1615,  Saturday,  23  9. 23

1018 ofcourse,  Sunday,  24  9. 23

https://www.almanac.com/content/first-day-fall-autumnal-equinox

https://www.bpl.org/blogs/post/the-origins-and-practices-of-mabon/

https://www.patheos.com/answers/what-are-the-sabbats

https://www.brandeis.edu/now/2021/september/wicca-berger-conversation.html

Call it Thursday he wrote

                           felt it was still Wednesdaya lingering Wednesday  traveltrashed so he compelleddemanded Thursdayshrugging off the remains of Wednesday

   he also was trying to shrug off a dream that woke him

                                                             which troubled him

he struggled with its meaning through the day in the air in the airports among the milling surging bodies he usually enjoyed people watching but even they couldnt distract him today

   THURSDAY

he determined the two of the dreamed incidents were reiterating what hed known a long time

                                                                                                   COMMITMENT or rather COMMITCEMENT

once committed he was unshakeable

the first incident was him driving a car descending a steep grade the road crumbling under the tires oddcorrupted sections of pavement like drifting icefloes sliding left sliding off the gradedearth no guardrails   horror  etched on the faces of drivers and occupants as they went OVER  doomed

                                                                  a car he avoided drifted sideways in front of himpumped the brakesavoided a collision which may have likely aided the driver though earlierfurthur up the hill the same driver forced other cars over the side to oblivion?he didnt know  wasnt willing to find out horror isnt etched without reason

he soughtfought the car to the shoulder as it meltedoozed onto the dissemblingroad clots of concreteroad shabby rock gravel he slalomed spun somehow kept the vehicle descending  avoided the rotting edge

                                                                                               somehow  made flat level ground

committed

second was a blind leap into treetops slick courses of mist from a cliff occurred to him as he approached it was suicidal however he had given his word to a cohort who was trappeddoomed if he couldnt free them

                                                                                                           he was thin hope

the thinnest hope

his hope was the duffel he carried before him tethered to his waist a length of rope between themhed follow its descent

he hoped itd be shieldenough

throwing himself over the edge he casted the duffel at his feet  fell eyeswide

                                                                                 COME WHAT MAY

he was committed to seeing it through

evenif he damaged or killed himself

he wouldnt recoil

didnt pauseCOMMITCEMENT

give ones word

cant renege

have to be good to it or one isnt credible isnt honest has lied

possibly a third incident lurked

                                 it reveledspooled in the back of his head as he plummeted  ran like opaquefilm in his eyes but not enough to obscure the approaching treetops if he survived the fall he was to assault a “friends” house a stout black house few windows mounted high in the walls to look out one would have to stand on something

friend knowingly stabbed him in the back lied to himNot that he was surprisedhe suspected there were too many asideshints  actions   he disregarded his words actions   he disregarded his words

   Commitment

is not loyalty

Commitmentcommitcement is not an oathfealty to another 

it is a promise to ones self

bold

     because sometimes ones commitment leads them into harms way  they see it coming

dreaming he smiled ridiculous large he survived the fall through the treetops the snaking mist  surprise

he smiled thinking that someone thought hed flinch pull back

                                                                 smiled  that someone would think he was bluffing

   he was committed

approaching 0000hours,  Wednesday/Thursday,  20/21  9. 23

1313,  Saturday,  23  9. 23

his brother handed him a plain brown paper lunchbag There you go.   From me to you.

his brother was funny

something inside it clinked

Shoud I guess wha it is

Do you want to guess?

I think I ought to

Are you going to shake it?

I am not 

         Cin used to shake her gifts  I threatened to wrap a bomb for her thadbe detonated by vigorous motion

Obviously you never did.

No

   Though Id always warn her say Russian roulette  Ya feelin lucky punk

Eastwood.

Dirty Harry

   So are you feeling lucky?

Stop Yare late to the game 

he didnt shake it felt its weight

                                  Ill guess

his brother wore his classic pokerface  he was sitting at his parents kitchen table smoking cigars sipping beers when they were in high school when he won a seventy dollar pot  Queen highcouldnt help himself had to show it off  nobody ever knew whawas in his hand  he made a great Marine while he was in

Guess away.

   Marbles You found my marbles

No pokerface it split with delighted laughterI did.     

opening the bag Yadid  different coloured catseyes

Vintage.

         Old like you.

Has to be Lost em a long time ago

Yahyadid; misplaced them. he nodded  Yadid.

                                                  hed always been unhappy with him that he lived out of statecross the country away  the rest of the familythe siblingsall nine remained in state within twenty minutes of each other  but he was the kid that his father introduced as This is my son, Joe, he isn’t going to live here when he grows up.

Couldnt renege on that welch on a promise wasnt what he was made of who he was

hed always been unhappy with him because he the oldestfelt he was obliged to stay home

that conversationwhenever he returned for a visit resurfaced the underlying glue of their relationship not that it was necessary they loved each other deeply their street fighting back-to-back was neighbourhood notorious win or lose  ugly fights

in addition to his missing marbles they were too late for him was a GINORMOUS AGES 6+ pink speckled egg HATCH’EMS Flamingos WATCH THEM GROW AGAIN & AGAIN!

                                                                I remembered correctly, you like flamingos.

he smiled I do Thank you yare very thoughtful  Comere they threw their arms around each other kissed hard separating  Yare an awfully good polack bro

As you, as you. I miss you, man.

I miss you too

   a little ache bittersweet stitched his heart  lifes choices

1018 ofcourse it was,  Saturday,  23  9. 23

Dirty Harry  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abmULTYJJEg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xjr2hnOHiM

   Swell

from its foot he tossedunfurled the bedspread onto his bed wristsnapped it once stunningly it fell symmetrically aligned  done

                  Swell  

when did he last uttered that he thought

Been a long time

                  seemed one was always hanging out with him

he wondered if they were assigned

                                     Yes Thank you for seconding me

No sweat Thas wha Im here anif necessary for other asides

Which ya understand  Unsolicited

Yes Though we cant wait to be solicited  Thawoud . .

. . Be a cold day in Hell

   Yes  Deal with it

I do I have

Yahave

          So   Swell

Been a long time

                  Been a long time been a long time been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely time

Zeppelin

Sharp

Not necessarily Were you

Camped out in my brainmy cells

We permeate you

                   Sunk in the tasty marrow of your bones the alveoli in your lungs

Thas permeated

   Yawanna say

I do

Let it out We heard you loud an clear

Per MEAT Ated

   Feel better

Yah I do

              Todays my Maws birthday  She would have been 90

   Swell

Kinda

       Rather woud sing to her over the telephone than sing her happy birthday in the shower

Fully clothed

Yah Only steppin in to sing

Everyone sounds better in the shower

They think so So I follow the lemmings

OUCH

Not so much

             There are very few trendsetters happier to take orders than the initiative  understandably its pretty sticky

3M coud only wish they developed it

Thas clever

Swell

          Cant remember the last time

Us either

 

he poured himself a cup of coffee read the paper 

                                                   Today In History

In 1835 Edgar Allan Poe married his thirteenyearold cousin Virginia Clemm Poe was twentyseven Virginia contracted tuberculosis an on 30 January 1847 twentyfouryearsold succumb to it

     

0856, Reggaefriday,  22  9. 23

1124,  Reggaefriday

Zeppelin  Rock and Roll  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lncr2g9XJHU  https://www.britannica.com/story/do-lemmings-really-commit-mass-suicide

travel trashed

punch drunk

  Xhausted

although there was a bright light in his 24hrawake day

                                                          bright eyes

she told him she had traveled all day without finding her character 

                                                                     then

he was her character

                     No he interjectedExcuse me  Youre mine

he was willing to fight an attractive stranger over who was whose though not incuriously as they talked as time unfurled they happily concededaccommodated each other

when he began writing on the plane the lamp overhead shadowed his head onto the loose blank page obscuring what he wrote

       turning ON the one over hers she asked Better?

Ohmy  Yes thank you

                        the oblique kindness of a stranger

albeit he thought as young as she washe thought19 bestguess said so she corrected him 29. as young as she was he didnt expect her to recognise his irritation let alone consider the courtesy of lighting his way 

                                                                                                  unexpected

and unexpected was a currency he valued terribly

he hadnt expected she would or could have realised let alone acted kindlySURPRISE

bright eyes

            is how he referred to her in his writing

she admitted first that she referred to him in her journal after they discussed lucid dreaming when he encouraged her to continuepursue trying to evolve her attempts

through later conversation he discovered she had a monstrous legup on others regarding dreamwork

 

he joked that had she been seated in A and he in B they would have been banging elbows she a righty he lefty as they wrote simultaneously      

departing the airportthinking of their interaction he smiled  he severely enforced that coincidence had no standing

he believed all the days hickups troubles turned sidewise happened because he was meant to meet her

                                                                                                               Fate? 

from the original Singularity – there is no evidence to prove it wasnt -- is sometimes generous

she made the entire day worth the trouble

0021,  Thursday,  21  9. 23

1328,  Thursday

Bonnie Tyler  Total Eclipse of the Heart (Turn Around)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOxhH8N3Bo

   Gottago

               whenya gottago ya gottago   Im goin

when I get back next week Ill be in touch

be cool in the meantime

   smile

          a lot

   he found a moist perch in a footdeep Uformed concrete gutter along a road stamped in intervals facing it 

M U backwardC C O  clever  MUDCO  so apropos for a concretework company

                                                                                    that worked through his head

before he could relate to the juxtaposition

fish out of water

it was doing its damnedest

                            dorsal laid down fins held tight to its sides holding its breath

he leapt over the gutter scrambled up an iceplant like anenomes incline over shrubs onto a driveway garage open big galvanised bucket crossed the drive a spigot gushed water tapped it off sprang down the incline it hadnt turned blue

maybe only people turn blue when hypoxemic apoplectic fins were laxlimp picked it up with both hands and pushed it through the water againanagainanagain if it had lungs hed have made sure its airway was clear and blown until he was blue

           a shiver

againanagainanagain

                        spasm

againanagainanagainanagainanagain

                                         shake

againanagainanagainanagainan

                                   a tailslap

Hey man, that’s my bucket, what are you doing with it?

                                                           with such impeccablebrilliance hed never throw a shadow

ignored him

againanagainan

                  whawere the chances he was deaf 

I said man . . that’s my bucket. 

                                 at least he narrowed it

stood on his drive

lanky shrubbery seemed an impediment

                                            wiggling

againanagain

I sai . .

. . Savin a fish

                A perched perch to be precise    fuckin incredible           he didnt wonder the cause

no sense nonsense wondering whawas  

wasnt a suicide

he let it go

it strayed around the bucket

a lake was threequartermiles off

taking the bucket in both hands he stood

                                            Ill bring it back

It’s my bucket.

                whawere the chances he was deaf

1305,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1326,  2sday,  12  9. 23

she shook her headsat back on the couch they shared

                                                        Man she was dismayed For such a bright guy you have such a crappy attitude.

   Good cop bad cop

What?

Bright guy crappy attitude

                            Complimentary  Detracting    Which is it

   I love looking at you your face. So while I’m away and we talk it’d be nice to see you.

Aint happenin

               You know I didnt care for Skypesame damn thing  Face-times an intrusion

I’m an intrusion?

Stop

        I didnt say tha

It feels like you said it.

But I didnt

            You like it you do it yare welcome to it I don   I wont

Won’t?

Will not

But why not? he reached downgrabbed her thigh she oohedgiggledWhat are you doing?

Wha I cant on face-time

                          I am you are threedimensional  Why woud I we want to be twodimensional not be able to touch miss subtle body motionspositionings miss  if you woud    our auras meld  meddle

Its a convenience

Yare not convenient

You are necessary

   Baby yare the only soul in the world Id face-time  but Im wont

Good cop bad cop.

1749,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1154,  2sday,  12  9. 23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB4W9np4JJk

. . . so why writ . .

                  he cut him off

Why breathe  Why write thas crap  You shortcut it with phone calls cheap shorthanded texts punctuated with shitty acronyms you fail to explain 

                                Because      Because yare lazy

Too much an effort  Exhausting huh   Christ even use predictive text 

   No.

Im listening

not angersomething he hoped it was embarrassment twistedspazzed his face

Still listening asif a singular no could answered his accusations

                                                               Howbout  Flannery O’Connor I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say. Joan Didion I don’t know what I think until I write it down.

Unfortunately thasaid  I don think you know either writer do you

                                                                       Maybe a question you can answer

Ah definitely anger 

Im listening

sharply What do you want me to say?

Why breathe

0942,  2sday,  12  9. 23

https://lithub.com/why-human-writing-is-worth-defending-in-the-age-of-chatgpt/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Lit%20Hub%20Daily:%20September%2012%2C%202023&utm_term=lithub_master_list