that was an eyeful 

he hadnt expected it

hed come to expect a lot of weird things in a guys lockerroom 

                                                                had one played sports in high school  in college things only got weirder 

            because guys were fucks 

if women only knew how fuckedup guys were theyd swing wiiide of having anything to do with them 

theres a bell-curve that IDs fuckedupness in boys growing up into men 

                                                                          given his competitive nature  organised sports junior high to college on the curve left of mean he was deficient  the stats continued up beyond where he was 

he wasnt near mean 

                     yet hed met and knew and competed with many athletes who were on the other side of the bell-curve  demented clowns who truly thought they were fuckin hilarious 

though he assessed if they had to contend with anything near what they perpetrated theyd lose their fuckin minds 

that was the mentality he entertained going into his dream 

he dreamed of a pregnant bruisedred an purplecoloured hermaphrodite 

                                                                            why shouldnt they be pregnant 

shehe was obviously more female than male 

shehe sat on a wood bench at the entry to the lockerroom  oiledup  swollen   naked  an undeveloped cock at the crest of her vagina 

shehe was close 

                he could see the fetus turn  tumultuously  under herhis tautstretched abdomen 

when he entered the lockerroom he nodded to herhim nonchalantly  

he seemed to recognise herhim 

shehe definitely recognised him 

shehe smiled 

                a brutal smile  vengeful smile 

then momentarily others entered behind him 

                                               herhim disgusted them  herhis condition a monstrosity   but shehe didnt get knockedup on her own and when the fourfive clustered holding up others from enteringwhen they yelled Fuckin' freak, get outa here!  

well 

     not memorable last words  vile   but not memorable 

and as they pressed forward towards herhim to physically dump herhim outside the lockerroom dump herhim in the lobby 

      slickly from behind herhis back shehe pulled a 9mmOHSHIT BANG  BANGBANG   BANG  BANG a coup de grace BANG  BANG two in the back who turned to flee

shehe was damn accurate 

let the pricks come 

                    shehe had been contending with them all herhis life  narrowminded pricks 

however being narrowedminded didnt diminished the waterballoonsize of their heads 

at close range 

               ample targets 

he stood off to a side 

blood and brainbits slithered to the floor drain 

shehe sat violentlyquiet  at ease  at peace 

despite spattered with blood and gore shehe was quite beautiful 

                                                                     it was understandable how she could get knockedup 

men were pigs 

                had he a cheerleading outfit and pompoms he would have donned them and cheered GOOO TEAM!

he wasnt an accessory he was a witness 

he had a good sense where shehe was coming from 

                                                        shehe was flattening the bell-curve 

 

dreamtime early Saturday,  17  4. 21

1744,  Saturday,  17 4. 21

Kinks  Lola  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LemG0cvc4oU   

Four Non Blondes  What’s Up  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NXnxTNIWkc

 

Congressional nativists

White?

Do they come in any other colour

You crack me up; what of them?

They call themselves the America First CaucusJESUSCHRIST Originally it was shared with mepitched as the AFC I despise acronyms but thats why they fed it to me they wanted to raise my angstmy ire

White raises your ire?

Lemme think January SixJanuarySick lemme think 

                                                        Lemme thinkwhite members werent afraid  but had the insurrectionists been Black Lives Matterwhich it wouldnt have been  had the insurrectionists been antifawhich it wouldnt have been its a freakin ideology  antifa wouldnt have attacked the Capitol unless it were filled to brimming with Neo-Nazis Neo-fascists white supremacists lions and tigers and bearsOH MY  racists OHohoh alt-right creeps OH QAnon

But Ill not let you take me off my game 

AFC

Ahyes, your disgust of acronyms.

Donroll yer eyes

Can’t help myself, I find it amusing, they’re time savin . . 

. . If yaknow wha the acronym means Had I dumped AFC on you without any context whawoudya think   AFC

Fried chicken . . I . ah . I wouldn’t have a fuckin’ clu . . 

. . My point precisely 

                     They didhowever preface it saying it was a new Republican political group

Soo, you’re killing me, what did you guess the acronym to be? A doozy, Im sure.

Yes

And?

Anally Fucked Congresspersons

                                 They bout shit themselvesHAR har har  they barked Not badnot bad at all  America First Caucus

Youll love this Anally Fucked Congresspersons vow their North Star policy is to serve the American peoplenow ya gotta ask yourself as an American  do yawanna be represented by these HeeHawsthese dingleberries they insist that this North Star implies a – youll love this – a degree of ideological flexibilityOhShit a certainSoitenly  hats off Curly love im a certain intellectual boldness If I only had a Brain thanks Scarecrow a boldness amongst members of Anally Fucked Congresspersons to follow in the petty footprints of the disgraced former president anI think this is my favourite part potentially to step on toes and sacrifice sacred cows for the good of the American – those aforenamed Americans – the American nation

And?

And

I’m waiting for it . . . your crowning declaration

he laughed hard

they laughed hard with him

Yes Yare right

I am, I know am . . . and?

They can suck my cock

Mine too; after I fuck them in the ass.

Jesus thats unlike you

But not unlike you, I wanted to attest my brotherhood.

Awfuck yare sweet  sweet as honey

Don’t forget it.

1147,  Sunnyday,  18  4. 21

https://punchbowl.news/wp-content/uploads/America-First-Caucus-Policy-Platform-FINAL-2.pdf 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/X56rQkDgd0qqB7R68t6t7C/seven-things-you-need-to-know-about-antifa

If I Only had a Brain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG3mJcUzwaI

Black female genital candle   all trimmed up 

                                                 an ad offering by Magick Planet    Whatever

advertising algorithms really bit the big oneswung wide not that he wasnt a fan of female genitalia 

                                                                                                         he wasnt interested in burning them

and he didnt buy candles online 

he bought books however 

                          yes his last few purchases were Isabel Wilkersons Caste the edited Four Hundred Souls Ta-Nehisi Coates’ The Water Dancer and Black Leopard Red Wolf by Marlon James

virtually all Black writers

but thats a huge freakin leap 

                                 he supposed  That’s Marketing! Leave no stone unturned.

Ohbrutha

but why target him 

 

he decided to consult water 

                              a hot bath of lavenderscented water  the oil was from his daughter  she said to calm him she was always concerned that he remain calm 

before she died she gave him a beautiful blue lace agate  yes its property is calming she was as generous as she was beautiful inside and out 

                         she was absolutely radiant 

with her inspired calmness he slipped into the running water and laid down under moonlight that entered through the screened window

he took the water up until his body was covered and stopped the flow

he closed his eyescommunicated his distemper with intrusions that bordered on ridiculousludicrous 

                                                                                                        whoever wrote the algorithm hed like to turn it on its side and shove it up their ass

Calm

mantra

Calm

he could almost hear her voice

Calm

the water wondered why the advertisement got a rise out of him

Dislocation Anatomy belongs where it should be found  not dismembereddissected

When presumed clever isnt clever

the water wondered if his upset was because the genital candle was Black

which made him almost giggle 

                               he expected memory to be long with water

No he whispered  perhaps you have forgotten the black girl I dated nearly three years ago who bathed with me in this tub 

the water shivered 

he opened his eyes

he thought maybe a drip fell from the faucet 

                                             there were no perceptible rings or waves    still water

Times are degenerate

The pendulum swings

You will swing out of the worst of it

Clever foments

Often it is novel a fad

Try not to be disturbed

I should be calm

As your daughter instructed you

She knew you intimately

Disregard that which will not impact you

Water seeks its own level

Yes

chilled water woke him 

the moonlight was on the wall

he was cool

            at ease

that might explain that while he slept in the tub that he dreamed of a pregnant bruisedred an purplecoloured hermaphrodite 

                why shouldnt they be pregnant

Twosday evening,  13  4. 21

1136,  Saturday,  17  4. 21

 

NO COLLUSION!!

                   the former president beat that drum to death before the Pressexcuse me FAKE NEWS – have to have fake news to cover a FAKE PRESIDENT -- before his MAGA rallies before his kowtowing Republican House and Senate members alike 

                NO COLLUSION!!

there was  of course there was  Russia, if you're listening . . 

                                                                 an investigation was commenced during the last administration https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/collusion-sanctions-document-completes-circle-between-trump-camp-and-russian-intelligence-110288453868?cid=eml_mra_20210416&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951 

74 million Republican voters embraced a president who embraced Putin who is Russia 

they listened to his lie NO COLLUSION!! they listened to his lie that the election was stolen they listened to his lie that patriots stormed the Capitol on January 6 or was it antifa

he hopes eventually the truth will occur to them that they will understand and seize that they were hoodwinked by a snake oil salesman who currently is coming apart at the seams 

345 or 1545,  Reggae Friday,  16  4. 21

 

 

der Narzissmus der kleinen Differenzen 

                                            the narcissism of small differences

hed never heard of it or read it before

Freud gets credit 

                   calling it “the innate human proclivity for aggression(violence) – hed call it manliness more so white manliness – and the desire for distinct identity”

“To see one’s neighbor reflect and mirror oneself too much threatens a person’s unique sense of self, and superiority.” 

ah  Superiority  gotta feel that   whakind of man are you if yadon feel superior 

he had a simple remedy 

                           Don look   fuck “reflect  mirror” yadon look yawon see   

what he read into narcissism of small differences was the lack of confidence in oneself

know thyself translates into accepting oneself 

                                               akin to love  first one has to love themselves  then they can love another

if someone is bristling over the talents or possession another has because the talents are innate or the person wantedWanted that thing they possess 

                                         wha to get yer panties in a knot over

 

he could give a fuck over wha another man could do or had

men didnt impress him

he rarely looked at them

they had nothing he could possibly want

he was too busy looking at womenfolk 

a waste of time paying attention to men

the only time they got his attentiongarnered his ire was when they spoke and their wordstheir philosophical positions were radicallyenormously different than his

they played with hate 

                        Oh, so you hate me? 

No you disgust me 

                    Disgust and hate are different I hate no one Hate is as huge a devotion as love an seeing that I choose to love my bank is empty I float on a sea of love I cannot sail on a driedup desert that runs for as far as the eye can see

        I aint carrying a boat on my back to see if I can find water It is a forbidding wasteland

 

the narcissism of small differences 

                                      hadnt conceived of that before 

usually the only difference that goads him is when acquaintances insisttry an softpedal persuasion 

he insists its coercion   

they find coercion too strongtoo adversarial   

they would 

theyre not assertive 

1220,  Thursday,  8  4. 21

349 or 1549,  Thursday,  15  4. 21

 

a spectrogram became the latest installationupload to his dreaming

 

                                                                                it distracted him

You’re telling me you viewed a sonograph, a voiceprint . . running beneath your dream?

Yup

One voice, multiple voices?

Mine

That had to be disturbing, upsetting.

Nope 

All you got is one syllable answers?

Nah Idve thought my monotone the single words would suggest I wasnt upset  bemused curious  Not disturbed

Considering how I dream I was mildly distracted by its newness  Perhaps yer not recalling I dream in black and white colour have dreams adorned with speech bubbles characters graphically drawn stylistic also rendered cartoonish  Sometimes I dream only words asif readingdream multiple points of view  be multiple characters male female make love to myself an no matter the violence or horror theyre never nightmares always  dreams 

No. I recall.

             Although you should be able to appreciate that for someone who scarcely remembers their dreams, therefore dreamless, that when you talk about your dreams, particularly when you suggest the fantastic is meaningful, that is very unorthodox. Unreal.

I can The only reason I can remember is because Ive made a concerted effort since I was a boy Ive always been fascinated by dreams Anthen because I learned to manipulate them rather than always take a ride – though often I still do – they become more real  never unreal

Well, I’ve no idea what to make of your voiceprint. Seems impossible to me.

Yare saying that on purpose correct

On purpose?

Impossible

Seems impossible?

Apparently you also don recall Break impossible down  Im possible

AwJesus.

dreaming,  Monday,  12  4. 21

1214,  Thursday,  15  4. 21

 

  :  :  Sp ck mix up.

that was convenient 

                                      Convenience                                                                              

Homo convenience 

he raved against it 

                     screw it was gonna take a shota swing he really disliked abbreviations and acronyms                                                                                                                                        

replying he texted  :  :  Sp ck  spell check? Yare gonna blame the machineyer smartphone huh A built-in fall guy until one day it takes exception and comes after you with a vengeance – or orders another machine to 

the sp ck arose because out of the blue he texted him  :  :  Tiny T’s. We don’t need another Hero.

the only thing in it that added up was Hero

he texted earlier that the film The Hero was available at the library they could pick it up before they stopped for coffee later that day

Tina was auto-corrected to Tiny the machine understood him to use Tiny more frequent

why 

      whos running the fucking show 

why didnt he disable auto-correct and suffer his misspellings

he said he didnt have time to look up proper spellings becau . . 

. . Because its better to be incoherent than spell a word wrong then a queer incorrect word is dropped in

The text wasn’t incoherent; you got it right.

I got your sp ck not wha Tiny referred to

Come on, everyone’s familiar with We don’t need another hero; Tina Turner.

If yare a fan Tiny Ts didnt get me anywhere near the hood ifya don mind the colloquialism Tiny T’s provided me tiny tits 

   Anwhy the fuck would you be writin about tiny tits in the confines of your text

I wouldn’t.

But you didnt read your text before you sent it Yaint no stenographer not onehunredtwenty words a minute

No, I did not.

This aint the first time Ive harped on it I recommend you do Particularly if yare so concerned about misspelling a fucking word Misspelling a word to reliable content and context  Jeesus

You’re upset because you don’t like the technology.

Hmm Lemme think  A technology that makes you look like an asshole

Lighten up, man.

Lighten up 

           Yare the one with a bug up their ass about incorrect spellings Id think if you were youd also be concerned that your text makes sense rather than being Homo convenience

Homo convenience? What’s that?

A moniker yare that 

                      Whatevers convenient flies in this world Its more convenient to throw things away than make things that last a lifetime Planned obsolescence Throw it away so you can buy the next and throw it away too  an next the next anthe next Be a good lil consumer 

                                              Imagine Consumer IDs A chip implanted in your armthey do it to pets  for convenience sakes

An thinkin furthur 

                    Sp ck rolled his eyes as he listened 

                                                          Donroll yer eyes I aint being facetious Six million Jews cant be wrong  Concentration camp tattoos 

                                       So fuckin convenient Donhave to carry a wallet ID creditcard purse Scan me up Scotty allusion to StarTrek Gouge that neat chip out of your arm it flashed around consuming until yare able to staunch the bleeding so you donbleed out then call authorities on your nifty manufactured cohort which aint doin ya any damn favours currently 

That’s dark, man, that’s the dark side; you neglect the good things it provides.

Good things like  convenience right 

                                       The light bright side as yasay is advertised to the hilt aint never ever going anywhere near admitting its dark applications

Man he was frustrated Up to you. You’re just gonna be left behind.

No Incorrect  Im not buying in  Not buying in one is unable to be left behind

1130,  Twosday,  13  4. 21

1437,  Day-bewtween-Two-Ts,  14  4. 21

  

Did I hear you right?  

he really liked her face

her eyes were wide spread  broad First People nose 

                                                            a wellshaped mouth

Excuse me

she came up behind him in the kitchen he asked if shed like coffee and she said yes

Did I hear you thank your coffeemaker?

We go way back  Her bottoms a little leaky but whats not to like about that A Proctor Silex straight coffeemaker no bells an whistles She makes coffee an she takes her sweet time about it so yare really wanting it by the time she finishes

But . . you thanked your coffeemaker.

I did

I . ah . . I find that . uh . little . . 

. . Odd

I wouldn’t say od . . 

. . I did Was tryin to help you along

Unusual.

Unusual to thank someone that did something for you

A coffeemaker is a something.

It provided coffee for us

Yes, but . . 

. . No  It provided us cups of coffee That its inanimate doesnt preclude that it favoured us and whenever someonesomething favours me I take care to thank them it because I appreciate their labour 

                                                                                                 Also keeps one in practisereminds them to thank human beings when they favour them or provide them something they wantedasked for like the peach pie from the bakery tonight 

You’ll have to admit it’s a little peculiar.

I don Ive been thankful since I was a boy An let me tell ya when a machine an inanimate object fails us we bitch it out pretty damn good donwe

her eyelashes fluttered again

she had amazing eyes 

he caught her face reflecting off the glass outside a small department store he liked window shopping and this particularly store was known throughout the town for its window dressing par excellence the way the French say it   

then he caught her eyes

she looked into his eyes off the glass

he turned immediately 

                         Good evening

Good evening.

An amazing display isnt it Always is

Yes, like a piece of art.

Im happy you said that because Ive said as much an people look at me crosseyedconfused 

                                                                                               Though as said Beauty art is in the eye of the beholder

Yes, yes it is.

he extended his hand 

                        Names Joe

she fumbled a bit she was holding something in her hands that he didnt pay any attention to it was utterly extraneouscouldnt hold a candle to her presence

whatever it was she tucked into her jacket pocket and took his hand 

                                                                         Avril.

French April  My favourite monthbirth month A pleasure to meet you Avril

A pleasure to meet you, Joe.

You have an appreciation for art 

                                   it wasnt a question 

You’re direct.

I am Times awastin Waste not want not 

                                            But I donwanna beat ya senseless with platitudes prosaic statements  However that said he looked in her eyes the whole while you seem to have more sense an senses in you that I couldnt beat out of you if I had all night 

                                  An all day tomorrow

My. 

      her eyelashes fluttered

they were long he felt secure theyd be good handholds if he began falling deeply into her eyes 

                                                                                                     My

Yes. Someone, not me, might call that a line, however an improbable line.

I don have lines Just say wha one inspires in me An not always pleasant derogatory likewise

Direct, as I said.

I am Could I make you a cup of coffee

Buy me a cup of coffee?

No Make I rent a small bungalow a couple blocks down and up a street on the right Fivetwelve an a half North Fourth It sits at the back of the lot Agnes my landlord owns the house in front 

                                                                           I make a better cup of coffee than most places sell Its the beans

she looked at himassessing him

Its not a make or break proposition Avril I can ask for your telephone number for some other time if youd rather Seems we have a lot to talk about

Another time . . . 

                   she like it hang 

he didnt shift in his shoeshis countenance remained unperturbed he wasnt driving the bus

Another time . . . 

                   then she laughed gaylyshe didnt cover her mouth Why? No time like the present.

Ah Nice uptake yare quick 

I am.

1018,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  4. 21