Leftie!  Away from the candle  he pared his words

he stood behind her at the tubstarting up a shower   Leftie! 

                                                               she squat on the closed toilet  he watched her tilt her head askance to his voice  she didnt turnshe was ignoring him  hed been around plenty of women who chose to ignore him to recognise the same manner in a female cat                                                                                       

                                               Leftie 

she heard him 

she ignored him

Knucklehead  Fire  No insect  anif you think that flickering is an insect youre in for a rude awakening 

                                                                                                           yaknow I have zero pity for ignorance or willful disobedience

Burn yourself  thats on you

everyone who keeps a pet believes they understand them

if his cats spoke Hmong hed talked to them enough over the years that despite their Hmong theyd understand him if only by the tenor in his voice 

                               the spoken word might be overrated

tone  tenor   newbornbabes follow he didnt wanna hear the same species argument  the sexes would agree that women and men speak a different language

she crept closer to the stout candleholder the flame dancingflickering just under its lip

he was done talking

he wanted to see how this was going to shake out

 

she didnt turn to look

she didnt acknowledge himhis presence

she cautiously raised her right paw 

                                      then stealthily as only a cat can began reaching for the sambaing flame

Awww  warmed his throat

shestabbed her paw past the flameplunged it into the melted waxupsetting the votive  it spun on the tank top her paw on fire

       she whirledpirouettedsat her flaming paw briefly extended then stamped it down beside the other  the sputtering flame crossed to her other foreleg and ran up her breastshe was engulfed in a matter of seconds and sat stoicallywithout sound like an immolating Buddhist monk 

                                          the yelloworange flame then went ceruleanblue the colour of tropicalwater  it roiled      roiled  diminished quieted  then went out

she hopped down off the toilet rubbedup against his legs and left 

she wasnt hot

she left smudges

he blinked 

          the candleholder was upseton its side  melted wax had ran streaked the tank and congealed  drips like bloodspatter were on the linoleum

 

 

in the shower 

                      thinking        he was in the shower  he pulled back on the curtain and saw the mess he left for later to cleanup 

                              and he thought  meybe   meeybe  religion which decreed death for witches and drowned and burned them at a stake  bags of live cats accompanying them

                                                                     meybe  the millions of cats preceding them had evolved and made them impervious to minor  sambaing   flames 

or leftie evoked one of her touted nine lives  

                                                         Meybe

 

he wasnt asleep

it was the damnedest thing

                            the damnedest thing

 

1936,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

1336, Thursday,  15  10. 20

Hendrix  Fire  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHB5PnUGBDs 

 

she was rocked he foresaw that she was hot he was rocked maybe he foresaw that 

                                                                                    though he hadnt foreseen sex in their immediate future  but there they were 

                                       there they were both wanting itwanting it fiercely clothes strewn across the room shoes in the doorway wasnt eithers place  but ahman but  they were adamantunwilling to risk getting knockedup

they didnt want to spend fiftybucks on Plan B

                                               Why do you know that?  Because she said she was then afterwards she said she wasntJesus I dont like curveballs I cant throw one or wouldnt I if I could

they didnt want to have an abortion or a child named Sex

                                                           they only wanted the hazycrazy memories of their night fucking their wanton sex a side of eggrolls a side of sticky rice  meybe Chinese hot mustard

I wanna fuck. she said he really liked that she was vocal

I do  I do too

              when he finally married he didnt promise I do   

she grabbed his cocktugged  Feels like you do.

I do

I want you to penetrate me.

                               a crazysounding bell went off in his head  its tone hung  no woman ever said that to him before Penetrate  Penetrate me  a trait of a penis penetrait penistrait penistraight ramrod  he refused to think of baseball  horseshit  nobody thought of baseball

I want you to penetra . . 

. . I heard you Ali I heard you  I can hear

she lungedkissed him hard busted his lip 

                                          she said I don’t know how you feel about this, but I want to feel you inside me. she rolled out from under himrolled onto her hip her back to him drew her top leg higher pulled on its cheek Yawanna take me in the ass?

no woman had ever said that to him before

                                                an who the fuck was he to question her  Please

Awshaddup an fuck me. 

0133,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  10. 20

1234,  Twosday,  13  10, 20 

Sinatra  Fly Me to the Moon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEcqHA7dbwM

$219K -- Killed

LIAR!

      https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/-not-only-lies-they-were-dangerous-lies-maddow-lists-trump-covid-lies-at-town-hall-93942341835

85% of people who wear masks are infected with coronavirus   liar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3pTYNP-jWU  Queen  Liar

2204,  Thursday,  15  10. 20

 

he realised he was decadenthed misconstrued decadence

this evening he had a chicken carcass for dinner

most of its readily-accessible flesh had been pared from it

he didnt do it surgically

he hackedhe hewedhe meant to leave meat on the bones

 

he crushed the bonesthe ribs and back down into an iron skilletcrushed them under his palm the joints gave way he drizzled olive oil extra virgin who wouldnt want extra virgin crushed black peppercorns coarsecut garlic quartered onions heels of two celery stalks slashed lengths of Anaheim peppers seeds intact and splashed the works with soysauce

he covered and placed it over a low flame his intent to heat it slowly to test his patience an inside joke let him savor its scentsavor  the anticipation   of his feast

he opened a chilled bottle of Pouilly-Fuisse

its cork was fine it was fragrant

he made a shallow pour into a glass

placed his nose over it and inhaled its scent

he turned the glass in small circles and enjoyed the wines legs

he sipped it inhaled a breath over it 

                                     just as he remembered 

he halffilled the glass and held it up to his eyes to watch a flickering candle through the wine

the Stones Let It Bleed album played behind him on the turntable 

 

he used bamboo tongs to place the crushed carcass and vegetables on an oval Portuguese clay platter

he had an emeraldgreen linen napkin on his thigh 

                                                   he ate with his handsdispensed with the glass and drank the Pouilly-Fuisse from the bottleholding it by its neck he split bones with his canines and used slivers of them to work out the marrow

 

when he finished there was a ruin of bonesbroken bones pile atop each other

he sipped wine and enjoyed his shadow dancing on the wall he imagined how cavemen might also have enjoyed their shadows as sat with a fullgut and digested their food

 

he never could belch

1903,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20 

1114,  Thursday,  15  10. 20

Stones  Monkey Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBPHHeJiKPM

 

 

deathdying  meybe the biggest high one can cop

 

he had a few friends who left with Heroin

a few friends who died behind the wheel drunknobody booked on weed shrooms jimson or peyote too many friends off doctors psychiatrists big Pharma  the Street come inside and parked its ass and barked its legitimacy 

he staked out a brutal psychiatrist 

                                      a knife to cut his throat an axe to hack off his head and hands

cooler heads prevailednot his some friends who he hadnt grasped the depth of their caring or love

                                                                                                             or why

the psych disappeared one day

it wasnt himit wasnt him

  

                                         he wished it was him

1727,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

Macklemore  Drug Dealer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYN14UfO-Uc&feature=youtu.be

I Love the Dead

one of the head ZOMBIEs truculent evolution from deplorables to degenerates to zombies

you can tellhes so over the top 

                                https://people.com/politics/mike-pence-didnt-know-fly-was-on-his-head-at-debate/

of course not Vice-President Pence wouldnt know that a fly glommed onto his head

dead men tell no tales or can they admit flies are attracted to carrion 

                                                                           or turds

2215,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

Alice Cooper  snicker I Love the Dead  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpKGfFw8FEA

 

he shared in an emale with his girlfriend an article

                                                     https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/10/14/923468159/covid-19-contact-tracing-workforce-barely-inching-up-as-cases-surge?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20201014&utm_term=4896866&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

she efemaled him saying  "funny"  she happened to be reading the same article great minds think alike

he emaled her 

                Yes "funny"  but not so funny . .  however Republicants have bought into herd immunity (I loved when Drumpf called it herd mentality) they could give a fuck . . seems that to be a ZOMBIE you don't have to be dead -- I don't know which is worse

High Noon, Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

he started to think about its Whythen stopped

  

                                                      he did it again

he took a sip of coffee earlier 

                                then went outdoors to take the trash out  down the hill  while grabbing the trash cans he realised the hummingbird feeders were low  he replenished them rehung them  he saw the feral cats water in the watering can was lower than he likedthan probably theyd like  he watered some plants  refilled the emptied can  then he came inside poured himself a fresh cup of coffee sat down to responded to an emale went to take a sip  and recognised he hadnt swallowed the sip he took twenty minutes earlier 

Why

Fuck if he knew 

                  seemed he had acquired the habit  somehow

 

the longest hed gone was preparing a chickentrussing it up on a rotisserie  plucking out of its body cavity two necks three hearts three gizzards no liver -- he wanted to see that twoheaded chicken alive -- cut up carrot celery onion garlic add a bouillon cube and started them up over a Lo-setting on the electric range in a couplethree cups of water for a side of soup 

         replenishing his emptied cup with coffee and going to sip it he realised hed kept the prior sip in his mouth for fifty minutes

 

he had no idea Why 

                      recently he was catching himself with a sip of beer whisky water milk  not immediately swallowing it

but

it occurred to him

he was living alone now so there was no need to talkmeybe that was it    

if he didnt have to converse

there was no need to swallow On Demand a sip in order to respond

 

meybe it was a good practise

he was confrontational argumentative  

meybe he was teaching himself in his own way – there was only his way – to bide his timehold his tongue  let his thoughts descend coagulate form completely  then attack

definitely attack 

                 he wasnt one to spare others feelings  not even children  

ignorance maybe bliss 

                       but he didnt ascribe to bliss or comfort or thin skin  

open your mouth 

                  if you put your foot in it hed strangle you with it

 

Meybe

 

1523,  Twosday,  13  10. 20

Sparklehorse  It’s a Wonderful Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vKhVUhX6_M 

“(Judge) Barrett declined to say whether it would be constitutional to criminalize the practice of in vitro fertilization. During a separate round of questioning, the previously outspoken social conservative declined to say whether she considers IVF tantamount to manslaughter. ‘I’ve never expressed a view on it, and for the reasons I’ve already stated, I cannot take policy positions or express my personal views before the committee,’ Barrett said.” (The Daily 202  on-line The Washington Post)

meybe IVF is not tantamount to manslaughter – she hides behind the word – rather she is opposed to IVF and was a signee on a document published in a newspaper advertisement by St. Joseph County Right to Life 

                                                                                                        he wouldnt suppose she was placed under duress emotionally or physically to sign her name

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/amy-coney-barrett-s-stance-on-ivf-concerns-fertility-doctors-93804613752

https://www.businessinsider.com/fertility-doctors-oppose-barretts-nomination-fear-threats-to-ivf-2020-10

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/01/amy-coney-barrett-supported-group-fertilization

https://els-jbs-prod-cdn.jbs.elsevierhealth.com/pb/assets/raw/Health%20Advance/journals/fns/oyez.pdf?fbclid=IwAR371uv9GYJrJJ8MwUH_HQZiavrkPDX4GD8_mDnCYI7Qyg5yJAvNJ4XTQF8

 

the judge continues to evade Democratic senators questions  providing non-answers  insisting her integrity should be trusted

however  if she were ethicalif she had integritty 

                                                    she would have declined Drumpfs nomination

1452,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

 

ever stood in the shaded stutter thrown by a Venetian blinddismembered black white black white  slivered or slabbed

edges hintingsuggesting what might be unseen  and unseen  unsure   deniable

he watched too many noirs from the Forties and early Fifties  hardboiled  their dramatic black and whites might have fixed his brain

 

his brotherinlaw said he was fortunate 

                                          his uncle always afforded his family the latest and greatest appliances and since the latest and greatest fell over themselves  better than one generation a year  to make way for the newest his uncle provided his other relatives with hand-me-downs 

                                                           I think my uncle gave us a colored television . . Sixtyone . you’d think I’d remember better, it was a huge console and it nearly killed my younger brother and I picking up the other end opposite my father. Kind of a warped I’ll buy, you fly.

Youve watched coloured TV since the early Sixties

Easy.

Hmmm  Im thinking that might help explain the differences in our perceptions  I used to think we were so different because you were raised in LA and I in Chicago  Yaknow geography  hell  the difference between the Pacific and Lake Michigan

You think our differences might lie in the difference between colored and black and white TVs?

Possibly 

          When I was a kid coloured was outsideya had to envision imagine green grass coloured flowers while you watch a black and white set  I remember my Dad talking about listening to radio imagining the unseen people whose voices theywere listening to the sounds of creaking doors footsteps seeing the obvious motions chairs pulled out to sit on pulled across linoleum wood or carpeted floors  If you werent paying attentionwerent listening  youd be lost

I thinkI believe it is possible that watching a black and white set demanded more from me as a viewer than a coloured set demanded of you 

                       Possibly why I see more or I see things more acutely observe more

Or you’re just a fucking voyeur, you call yourself as much.

I do  Got no battle with you there

 

So I gotta ask, when did your parents finally get a colored TV set?

When they got one for the house Id already moved out

You were twenty, right?

I was  On my Own  An I had better things to spend my hardearned money on than a television

So when did you finally buy a colored television?

We bought our first coloured set when our girls were youngthey were   both  in grade school

Eightyseven

Nineteeneightyseven!

Yup 

      We had a set my aunt handed down to us because she couldnt believe Cindi and I didnt have a television to watch Yahafta watch TV! Ya need to keep up with the News.

Told her we took the newspaper and had magazines and talked with friends

She wouldnt hear it

She made me laugh

She gave us her black and white and bought her first coloured television

0054,  Monday,  12  10. 20

1134,  Twosday,  13  10. 20 

Gil Scott-Heron  Whitey on the Moon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goh2x_G0ct4

 

“. . a big fat kiss!”

Comon down here Mr President an kiss my ass  “the guys . . the beautiful women . .”

https://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/trump-holds-his-first-rally-since-coronavirus-diagnosis-93734469576

1653,  Twosday,  13  10. 20

unheimlich  adjective   uncanny 

                                    the whole thing to Germans is unheimlich  uncanny the whole enchilada  unheimlich

which troubled him to think of the Heimlich manoeuvre  now miserably degraded to blase blah-sy  abdominal thrusts

yet there was a seed in discovering the word 

he saw it in a review of Phillip Pullmans Northern Lights in the Guardian

sometimes when he wrote he just surfed on his thoughts on text type on leaves of hardbound softbound books hardporn softporn 

          things lent themselves to be used  they made themselves readily available and unabashedunashamed he used them as he sought to be used himself  no one likes being an unused tool stored in a box or a shed 

tools are meant to be used  as are books

if he was invited into someones apartment or home and didnt see books he didnt bother to turnaround  he excused himself backed out retracing his steps  one doesnt need eyes in the back of their head if theyre alert entering

he would not willingly enter a box canyon when others need only to slam the door behind him trap him

his Mamma didnt raise no fool

 

Uh  if she was alive he wondered if she would buy as hard into the notion of unheimlich as he didwould she be as tantalized 

            by a word 

                             she was his pusher  Read.

1333,  Sunday,  11  10. 20

1316,  Monday,  12  10. 20

 

It was nearlike being snowblind man It was awesome  

                                                            he was regaling a buddythey were stoned  with a hypnagogic reverie that he dragged by the hair into dream

he was unable to dust consciousness motes and starbursts out of his eyesoff the back of his eyelids so his imagined was seen diffusely  a brilliant white at its coreits body  a quivering aura softtipped radiating flame and spikes

 

Yah man hypnagogically she emerged asif from a lake  rising risingup I saw her crown a closecropped curly blonde  the crescent of her forehead widespaced eyes indigenous nose high cheeks a generous mouth firm jaw her throat an shoulders her breasts  naked she emerged until she stood across from me unashamed   

I beckoned her to stepped onto the tatami mat I was kneeling on

                                                                    she acquiesced an the tatami transformed into a mystical magic carpet and transported us into my dream

 

Inside she sat down on the mat across from me 

                                                   she then assumed an asana the lotus position

Man ever have a naked woman cross her legs into the lotus position seated across from you

No.

Me neither me neither 

                         Then impossiblyI thought impossibly  but I was dreaming she stretched upright tall assumed a long torso an then slowly leaning forward she placed her hands and elbows on the mat her arms in a type of chevron elbows out hands peaked together I saw her from the side then a long inverted exaggerated U Quiet  Elegant   Beautiful 

           then impossiblyI thought again she began leaning forward on her arms placed her head on her hands and snaked her bodystill in asana forward  slowly beginning to raise her legs up off the tatami  slowly slowly rising into a headstand

My perspective walked round and round her as her hips and crossed legs her torso grew into the air snakishly  raviishingly  Impossiby my dreamingself thought   Impossibly

 

Then like a statue she was standing on her head  in the lotus position 

                                                                             Fucking miraculous

 

I was in awe 

               I was still kneeling across from her admiring heradmiring her back her inversion she looked likeher body was shaped in the form of an exquisite purewhite blossom her aura flickering  flickering   tantalising

Then I heard words in my head a feminine voice   it encouraged me to stand

I did as I was told I was mesmerised I was an automaton   

 

Then I did as I was invited 

I pleasured herpleasured myself 

                                  pleasured us a doublescoop of delicious vanilla I Scream

 

Man wha a delight

                                  

She held her pose even as she came     

 

0054,  Monday,  12  10. 20 

1128,  Monday,  12  10. 20 

 

he only needed their namesno need to see their faces 

                                                         Deputy Campaign Manager Justin Clark  Campaign General Counsel Matthew Morgan  Michael Roman Campaign ha Staffer and Robert Paduchik Campaign Senior Advisor

he only needed their names because their identities wouldnt matter theyd be carefully be hidden behind masks NOnot coronavirus masks   rather white conical masks

1914,  Monday,  12 10. 20

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/here-are-some-of-the-people-trying-to-help-trump-sabotage-the-election-93713477522

 

he rubbed away tear residue at the edge of his eye with the ball of his finger

when he wept at night fine stardust fell near his eyes

comforting himself

                    he called them stardust tears

No he said Yare wrong  Im fueling

Fueling? You want to lie to yourself, call it something it isn’t, deny what it is?

he stood his groundhe gave his answer  

                                          he appreciated his brotherinlaws concern

You’re boozing. Call it what you want, but you’re boozing; and I’m worried.

Yashouldnt worry bout things yacant control I thought yawas smarter than that  Dig

he could see that his words stirred his facemixed emotions 

                                                              disturbing photos  superimposed overlayed

it was difficult to watch

so he closed his eyes and repeated calmly Im fueling 

                                                         It guides me inhuddles with me it helps  anit tastes good

Im no threat to anyone 

                           No one

his brotherinlaw seized up 

                           he could see it in his mouth trying to work its way out 

his jaw trembled

he struggled 

             he knew his brotherinlaw was trying to find fault in his logic while recognising the fueltheir teaming  had created marvelous insights introspection perceptions  and odd curious beauty

his brotherinlaw was weighing if he wanted to attempt an intervention hed need more people

his brotherinlaw probably thinking He’ll punch me in the mouth if I don’t back offI’ve said my piece . . . I best cut my losses.

he decided hed help him 

                           Keep at it man an Ill knock you out Yaknow I throw the first punch

his brotherinlaw knew 

                       he remembered two times distinctly probably a couple more if he really dug in while he was thinking on it   he did

Yabest not tempt fate

I have patience though when I am impugned its sorely taxed

 

I hear you.

Good 

       We in a good place  

Understand I do appreciate your concern

 

Im fueling an frankly Im wasting fuel on this

Im tempted to call it a confrontation but then yaint laying on your backyour mouth bleeding or worse

 

We done

Yeah. We’re done.

Good Think nothing of it 

                             I wont

 

his brotherinlaw knew he was dismissed 

                                             Get together for a putsch Thursday?

Yaknow me my dance card is always open Yalemme know what time works best for you  Later bro

Yes. Later.

2303,  Sunday,  11  10. 20

$216K -- Killed

when asked by The New York Times in August what the president would do with four more years of power he said 

"But so I think, I think it would be, I think it would be very, very, I think we’d have a very, very solid, we would continue what we’re doing.” 

                      which is ludicrous  the man doesnt think and saying so four times in a sentence isnt inspiring   

“ . . . we would continue what we are doing.”   killing Americans with coronavirus

its not the China Virus

it is the Trump Virus

1339,  Monday,  12  10. 20 

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/asked-second-term-agenda-trump-s-answer-falls-far-short-n1242982?cid=eml_mra_20201012