he started to think about its Whythen stopped

  

                                                      he did it again

he took a sip of coffee earlier 

                                then went outdoors to take the trash out  down the hill  while grabbing the trash cans he realised the hummingbird feeders were low  he replenished them rehung them  he saw the feral cats water in the watering can was lower than he likedthan probably theyd like  he watered some plants  refilled the emptied can  then he came inside poured himself a fresh cup of coffee sat down to responded to an emale went to take a sip  and recognised he hadnt swallowed the sip he took twenty minutes earlier 

Why

Fuck if he knew 

                  seemed he had acquired the habit  somehow

 

the longest hed gone was preparing a chickentrussing it up on a rotisserie  plucking out of its body cavity two necks three hearts three gizzards no liver -- he wanted to see that twoheaded chicken alive -- cut up carrot celery onion garlic add a bouillon cube and started them up over a Lo-setting on the electric range in a couplethree cups of water for a side of soup 

         replenishing his emptied cup with coffee and going to sip it he realised hed kept the prior sip in his mouth for fifty minutes

 

he had no idea Why 

                      recently he was catching himself with a sip of beer whisky water milk  not immediately swallowing it

but

it occurred to him

he was living alone now so there was no need to talkmeybe that was it    

if he didnt have to converse

there was no need to swallow On Demand a sip in order to respond

 

meybe it was a good practise

he was confrontational argumentative  

meybe he was teaching himself in his own way – there was only his way – to bide his timehold his tongue  let his thoughts descend coagulate form completely  then attack

definitely attack 

                 he wasnt one to spare others feelings  not even children  

ignorance maybe bliss 

                       but he didnt ascribe to bliss or comfort or thin skin  

open your mouth 

                  if you put your foot in it hed strangle you with it

 

Meybe

 

1523,  Twosday,  13  10. 20

Sparklehorse  It’s a Wonderful Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vKhVUhX6_M