he shared in an emale with his girlfriend an article

                                                     https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/10/14/923468159/covid-19-contact-tracing-workforce-barely-inching-up-as-cases-surge?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20201014&utm_term=4896866&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

she efemaled him saying  "funny"  she happened to be reading the same article great minds think alike

he emaled her 

                Yes "funny"  but not so funny . .  however Republicants have bought into herd immunity (I loved when Drumpf called it herd mentality) they could give a fuck . . seems that to be a ZOMBIE you don't have to be dead -- I don't know which is worse

High Noon, Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

he started to think about its Whythen stopped

  

                                                      he did it again

he took a sip of coffee earlier 

                                then went outdoors to take the trash out  down the hill  while grabbing the trash cans he realised the hummingbird feeders were low  he replenished them rehung them  he saw the feral cats water in the watering can was lower than he likedthan probably theyd like  he watered some plants  refilled the emptied can  then he came inside poured himself a fresh cup of coffee sat down to responded to an emale went to take a sip  and recognised he hadnt swallowed the sip he took twenty minutes earlier 

Why

Fuck if he knew 

                  seemed he had acquired the habit  somehow

 

the longest hed gone was preparing a chickentrussing it up on a rotisserie  plucking out of its body cavity two necks three hearts three gizzards no liver -- he wanted to see that twoheaded chicken alive -- cut up carrot celery onion garlic add a bouillon cube and started them up over a Lo-setting on the electric range in a couplethree cups of water for a side of soup 

         replenishing his emptied cup with coffee and going to sip it he realised hed kept the prior sip in his mouth for fifty minutes

 

he had no idea Why 

                      recently he was catching himself with a sip of beer whisky water milk  not immediately swallowing it

but

it occurred to him

he was living alone now so there was no need to talkmeybe that was it    

if he didnt have to converse

there was no need to swallow On Demand a sip in order to respond

 

meybe it was a good practise

he was confrontational argumentative  

meybe he was teaching himself in his own way – there was only his way – to bide his timehold his tongue  let his thoughts descend coagulate form completely  then attack

definitely attack 

                 he wasnt one to spare others feelings  not even children  

ignorance maybe bliss 

                       but he didnt ascribe to bliss or comfort or thin skin  

open your mouth 

                  if you put your foot in it hed strangle you with it

 

Meybe

 

1523,  Twosday,  13  10. 20

Sparklehorse  It’s a Wonderful Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vKhVUhX6_M 

“(Judge) Barrett declined to say whether it would be constitutional to criminalize the practice of in vitro fertilization. During a separate round of questioning, the previously outspoken social conservative declined to say whether she considers IVF tantamount to manslaughter. ‘I’ve never expressed a view on it, and for the reasons I’ve already stated, I cannot take policy positions or express my personal views before the committee,’ Barrett said.” (The Daily 202  on-line The Washington Post)

meybe IVF is not tantamount to manslaughter – she hides behind the word – rather she is opposed to IVF and was a signee on a document published in a newspaper advertisement by St. Joseph County Right to Life 

                                                                                                        he wouldnt suppose she was placed under duress emotionally or physically to sign her name

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/amy-coney-barrett-s-stance-on-ivf-concerns-fertility-doctors-93804613752

https://www.businessinsider.com/fertility-doctors-oppose-barretts-nomination-fear-threats-to-ivf-2020-10

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/01/amy-coney-barrett-supported-group-fertilization

https://els-jbs-prod-cdn.jbs.elsevierhealth.com/pb/assets/raw/Health%20Advance/journals/fns/oyez.pdf?fbclid=IwAR371uv9GYJrJJ8MwUH_HQZiavrkPDX4GD8_mDnCYI7Qyg5yJAvNJ4XTQF8

 

the judge continues to evade Democratic senators questions  providing non-answers  insisting her integrity should be trusted

however  if she were ethicalif she had integritty 

                                                    she would have declined Drumpfs nomination

1452,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

 

ever stood in the shaded stutter thrown by a Venetian blinddismembered black white black white  slivered or slabbed

edges hintingsuggesting what might be unseen  and unseen  unsure   deniable

he watched too many noirs from the Forties and early Fifties  hardboiled  their dramatic black and whites might have fixed his brain

 

his brotherinlaw said he was fortunate 

                                          his uncle always afforded his family the latest and greatest appliances and since the latest and greatest fell over themselves  better than one generation a year  to make way for the newest his uncle provided his other relatives with hand-me-downs 

                                                           I think my uncle gave us a colored television . . Sixtyone . you’d think I’d remember better, it was a huge console and it nearly killed my younger brother and I picking up the other end opposite my father. Kind of a warped I’ll buy, you fly.

Youve watched coloured TV since the early Sixties

Easy.

Hmmm  Im thinking that might help explain the differences in our perceptions  I used to think we were so different because you were raised in LA and I in Chicago  Yaknow geography  hell  the difference between the Pacific and Lake Michigan

You think our differences might lie in the difference between colored and black and white TVs?

Possibly 

          When I was a kid coloured was outsideya had to envision imagine green grass coloured flowers while you watch a black and white set  I remember my Dad talking about listening to radio imagining the unseen people whose voices theywere listening to the sounds of creaking doors footsteps seeing the obvious motions chairs pulled out to sit on pulled across linoleum wood or carpeted floors  If you werent paying attentionwerent listening  youd be lost

I thinkI believe it is possible that watching a black and white set demanded more from me as a viewer than a coloured set demanded of you 

                       Possibly why I see more or I see things more acutely observe more

Or you’re just a fucking voyeur, you call yourself as much.

I do  Got no battle with you there

 

So I gotta ask, when did your parents finally get a colored TV set?

When they got one for the house Id already moved out

You were twenty, right?

I was  On my Own  An I had better things to spend my hardearned money on than a television

So when did you finally buy a colored television?

We bought our first coloured set when our girls were youngthey were   both  in grade school

Eightyseven

Nineteeneightyseven!

Yup 

      We had a set my aunt handed down to us because she couldnt believe Cindi and I didnt have a television to watch Yahafta watch TV! Ya need to keep up with the News.

Told her we took the newspaper and had magazines and talked with friends

She wouldnt hear it

She made me laugh

She gave us her black and white and bought her first coloured television

0054,  Monday,  12  10. 20

1134,  Twosday,  13  10. 20 

Gil Scott-Heron  Whitey on the Moon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goh2x_G0ct4

 

“. . a big fat kiss!”

Comon down here Mr President an kiss my ass  “the guys . . the beautiful women . .”

https://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/trump-holds-his-first-rally-since-coronavirus-diagnosis-93734469576

1653,  Twosday,  13  10. 20

unheimlich  adjective   uncanny 

                                    the whole thing to Germans is unheimlich  uncanny the whole enchilada  unheimlich

which troubled him to think of the Heimlich manoeuvre  now miserably degraded to blase blah-sy  abdominal thrusts

yet there was a seed in discovering the word 

he saw it in a review of Phillip Pullmans Northern Lights in the Guardian

sometimes when he wrote he just surfed on his thoughts on text type on leaves of hardbound softbound books hardporn softporn 

          things lent themselves to be used  they made themselves readily available and unabashedunashamed he used them as he sought to be used himself  no one likes being an unused tool stored in a box or a shed 

tools are meant to be used  as are books

if he was invited into someones apartment or home and didnt see books he didnt bother to turnaround  he excused himself backed out retracing his steps  one doesnt need eyes in the back of their head if theyre alert entering

he would not willingly enter a box canyon when others need only to slam the door behind him trap him

his Mamma didnt raise no fool

 

Uh  if she was alive he wondered if she would buy as hard into the notion of unheimlich as he didwould she be as tantalized 

            by a word 

                             she was his pusher  Read.

1333,  Sunday,  11  10. 20

1316,  Monday,  12  10. 20

 

It was nearlike being snowblind man It was awesome  

                                                            he was regaling a buddythey were stoned  with a hypnagogic reverie that he dragged by the hair into dream

he was unable to dust consciousness motes and starbursts out of his eyesoff the back of his eyelids so his imagined was seen diffusely  a brilliant white at its coreits body  a quivering aura softtipped radiating flame and spikes

 

Yah man hypnagogically she emerged asif from a lake  rising risingup I saw her crown a closecropped curly blonde  the crescent of her forehead widespaced eyes indigenous nose high cheeks a generous mouth firm jaw her throat an shoulders her breasts  naked she emerged until she stood across from me unashamed   

I beckoned her to stepped onto the tatami mat I was kneeling on

                                                                    she acquiesced an the tatami transformed into a mystical magic carpet and transported us into my dream

 

Inside she sat down on the mat across from me 

                                                   she then assumed an asana the lotus position

Man ever have a naked woman cross her legs into the lotus position seated across from you

No.

Me neither me neither 

                         Then impossiblyI thought impossibly  but I was dreaming she stretched upright tall assumed a long torso an then slowly leaning forward she placed her hands and elbows on the mat her arms in a type of chevron elbows out hands peaked together I saw her from the side then a long inverted exaggerated U Quiet  Elegant   Beautiful 

           then impossiblyI thought again she began leaning forward on her arms placed her head on her hands and snaked her bodystill in asana forward  slowly beginning to raise her legs up off the tatami  slowly slowly rising into a headstand

My perspective walked round and round her as her hips and crossed legs her torso grew into the air snakishly  raviishingly  Impossiby my dreamingself thought   Impossibly

 

Then like a statue she was standing on her head  in the lotus position 

                                                                             Fucking miraculous

 

I was in awe 

               I was still kneeling across from her admiring heradmiring her back her inversion she looked likeher body was shaped in the form of an exquisite purewhite blossom her aura flickering  flickering   tantalising

Then I heard words in my head a feminine voice   it encouraged me to stand

I did as I was told I was mesmerised I was an automaton   

 

Then I did as I was invited 

I pleasured herpleasured myself 

                                  pleasured us a doublescoop of delicious vanilla I Scream

 

Man wha a delight

                                  

She held her pose even as she came     

 

0054,  Monday,  12  10. 20 

1128,  Monday,  12  10. 20 

 

he only needed their namesno need to see their faces 

                                                         Deputy Campaign Manager Justin Clark  Campaign General Counsel Matthew Morgan  Michael Roman Campaign ha Staffer and Robert Paduchik Campaign Senior Advisor

he only needed their names because their identities wouldnt matter theyd be carefully be hidden behind masks NOnot coronavirus masks   rather white conical masks

1914,  Monday,  12 10. 20

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/here-are-some-of-the-people-trying-to-help-trump-sabotage-the-election-93713477522

 

he rubbed away tear residue at the edge of his eye with the ball of his finger

when he wept at night fine stardust fell near his eyes

comforting himself

                    he called them stardust tears

No he said Yare wrong  Im fueling

Fueling? You want to lie to yourself, call it something it isn’t, deny what it is?

he stood his groundhe gave his answer  

                                          he appreciated his brotherinlaws concern

You’re boozing. Call it what you want, but you’re boozing; and I’m worried.

Yashouldnt worry bout things yacant control I thought yawas smarter than that  Dig

he could see that his words stirred his facemixed emotions 

                                                              disturbing photos  superimposed overlayed

it was difficult to watch

so he closed his eyes and repeated calmly Im fueling 

                                                         It guides me inhuddles with me it helps  anit tastes good

Im no threat to anyone 

                           No one

his brotherinlaw seized up 

                           he could see it in his mouth trying to work its way out 

his jaw trembled

he struggled 

             he knew his brotherinlaw was trying to find fault in his logic while recognising the fueltheir teaming  had created marvelous insights introspection perceptions  and odd curious beauty

his brotherinlaw was weighing if he wanted to attempt an intervention hed need more people

his brotherinlaw probably thinking He’ll punch me in the mouth if I don’t back offI’ve said my piece . . . I best cut my losses.

he decided hed help him 

                           Keep at it man an Ill knock you out Yaknow I throw the first punch

his brotherinlaw knew 

                       he remembered two times distinctly probably a couple more if he really dug in while he was thinking on it   he did

Yabest not tempt fate

I have patience though when I am impugned its sorely taxed

 

I hear you.

Good 

       We in a good place  

Understand I do appreciate your concern

 

Im fueling an frankly Im wasting fuel on this

Im tempted to call it a confrontation but then yaint laying on your backyour mouth bleeding or worse

 

We done

Yeah. We’re done.

Good Think nothing of it 

                             I wont

 

his brotherinlaw knew he was dismissed 

                                             Get together for a putsch Thursday?

Yaknow me my dance card is always open Yalemme know what time works best for you  Later bro

Yes. Later.

2303,  Sunday,  11  10. 20

$216K -- Killed

when asked by The New York Times in August what the president would do with four more years of power he said 

"But so I think, I think it would be, I think it would be very, very, I think we’d have a very, very solid, we would continue what we’re doing.” 

                      which is ludicrous  the man doesnt think and saying so four times in a sentence isnt inspiring   

“ . . . we would continue what we are doing.”   killing Americans with coronavirus

its not the China Virus

it is the Trump Virus

1339,  Monday,  12  10. 20 

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/asked-second-term-agenda-trump-s-answer-falls-far-short-n1242982?cid=eml_mra_20201012 

 

 

he wouldnt have thought that

but it didnt surprise him in the least

whats real in the real isnt off the mark in the irreal world of dreams

    basic  frankly

not to say that he wasnt titillatednot to say his cock didnt stand at attention and take notice it was bigger in his dreams 

but isnt that what dreams are about  emphasis   empha-sizing 

                                                                   his cock was like an exclamation point ! step back 

and away if haphazardly he turned in your direction  bruised ribsbroken jaw  cold cocked    a cop baton

 

he never imagined frankly thinking of all the years theyve been around! he never imagined artificial tits to follow him into his dreams 

                 never

a statuesque redheadher hair piled ontop of her head tendrils weeping out and down  pale flesh freckled 

                                                                                                               her tits like bowling ballsridiculously round perfectly symmetricimpossibly symmetric threeinch aureoles or rather bowlingball balloons that whispered latexlyecstatically beneath a sheer opaque greened top she rolled themsqueezed and pressed together tantalising  taunting  her tongue working behind her lips or loosenedlapping sensually lolling licking at her red lips 

                                                  he watched her like a cat

he wasnt put off by their fakeness 

                                     he didnt mind her playing with themdidnt mind her massaging them or pinching her erect nipples

he didnt mind the amberlighted atmosphere around her shimmering moistened making her skin shimmeriridescent  wetted  aerosolized    scentedwater atomised

 

then he was put off 

                       yet fascinated as only a voyeur can be  and fantasising

 

earlymorning,  Saturday,  10  10. 20

1204,  Sunday,  11  10. 20

Sting  Fields of Gold  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLVq0IAzh1A

 

You’re responsible, of course . . 

. . Of course of course 

                        Excuse my interruption   Of course

You are resp . .

. . Responsible  Of course

You are.

Saying so doesnt make it so

If Im responsible  do tell

You are . . 

. . I am tell me  I am what

                              Anhow Im tired of pitiful and paltry accusations  So  out of your mouthyou being held solely accountable because I will hold you accountable  You  No one else

 

I’ve been informed.

Again saying so  Ill hold you an no one else accountable 

                                                         Do you understand you alone  Youre treading precarious waters Do you swim well

 

I'm only the messenger.

That will not let you off the hook  What comes out of your mouth are your words  If you accuse me of anything that is  imagine  a responsibility falling squarely on you 

                                                    Tread carefully  It is time you weigh your allegiances  I will take you at your word

 

You're threatening me?

Speak

 

Are you threatening me?

Speak 

     speak  your life depends upon it

 

few people will ever speak as if their lives depended upon their words

he was a man of words but he was also a man of action and preferred his actions precede him

for one  he would never let himself speak instead of act

words can become a harbour of cowardice

 

taken captive

no

hed die before buying a few days of brutalised life 

                                                      that isnt living

 

2039,  Saturday,  10  10. 20 

0003,  Sunday,  11  10. 20

Chicago Transit Authority   I’m a Man   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8vY3vAbAdQ 

Free Form Guitar  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ4eh2x2B1E

 

the soft underbelly

                     first time he heard it said had he known the term erotic he would have clutched it to his cock like his rustcoloured stuffed bunny  for it certainly nuzzled at his underdeveloped testes and fervently captured his attention

   soft   underbelly

 

it wasnt a tactical termit wouldnt be 

                                       tactical didnt align with his nascent manner of being  thinking he knew then as a boy he wouldnt be cannon fodder 

                                     militaristic chants or words or ploys like honour loyalty patriotism didnt quiver his balls

particularly not patriotism 

                          overhearing remarks and conversations of A-bombs H-bombs  teachers trying to make him cower under his desk  Im not  You will.  Im not  Get under your desk.  I dont believe a desk overhead will protect me or save my life  Ill head home 

                                 patriotism was a joke for the Atomic the Nuclear Age

what was served up then as patriotism wasnt nothing but nationalism 

                                                                           and he figured that it wasnt anything more than lipstick on a patriotic pig a greedy fucking pig watching out for itself

damn their brethren in humanity 

GI Joe

Valour

Vietnam 

          didnt sound like soft underbelly  they werent pleasing

the agreed tact would be that without sacrifice self-sacrifice a soft underbelly wouldnt be had wouldnt be worth having or deleteriously  only those who served deserved it

what a fucking mindset 

                          a kind that would confer rape and pillage to the victor

a craven whitewha other colour would it behuh  nationalistic America   it wasnt among the cards he held

Give me life liberty or give me death 

                                       Patrick Henry would have to excuse him for molesting or stepping on his lines 

 

soft underbelly 

                 it made his cock hard 

1609,  Saturday,  10  10. 20

 

Who? his wife asked

Yawho

his buddy repeated who Michele.

Michele I scarcely rememberwhy do you remember

Because she was insanely hot, Michele.

his wife looked at himnarrowing her huge brown eyes 

                                                          How come I haven’t heard of this insanely hot Michele before?

Yeah? his best buddy asked throwing gas on a pitiful fire

he gave him a sideglance Ya kiddin me

No. his wife said You can answer me first.

Obviously she didnt scratch my mem . . 

. . And how many other women haven’t scratched your memory?  You were terribly successful with women. Every time we return to Chicago you happen to run into another old girlfriend an . .

. . And he hugs and kisses them so damn familiarly.

Yeah. Like they’re still in a relationship.

Yeah.

Are you two done yammering  Technically I still am in a relationship with them  Theyre my friends  None of my relationships ended with hard feelings  We tended near mutualat least mutually understanding what the other person wanted to pursue 

                   Yaknow if you love somethingsomeone let itlet em go

Maybe I didnt love them but I was terribly fond of them and we respected each others autonomy

 

He’s really like that, isn’t he? Fucking knight on a white horse.

Thats a white stallion 

                        he snickered because he felt like it out of the corner of his eyehe was grateful his eyes had corners he saw his wife wasnt amused  evidently Michele crawled up her ass and really irritated her 

she was his wife he told her he loved her he didntlike some guys use love as an angle to get into a girls pants

she shouldnt be jealous

he was jealous only once and thats all it took he didnt like the freak looking back at him in the bathroom mirror

by the time he finished shaving he put away jealousybanished it and didnt have a problem with it again 

                                                                                                               it didnt again raise its hoary head 

                      had it hedve knocked it head clean off jealousy is an ugly ugly thing

Yah A white stallion 

                        Listen baby Michele slipped my mind You knowIve often told you that while physically you had the goodsyou attracted me if you hadnt the intellect the intelligence  buhbye baby  buhbye

Michele was a buhbye

An awfully nice girl but we werent compatible

That’s, that’s a miserable reason for not continuing to see a girl; com’on.

Alan Youre full of shit

 

his wife continued to eyeball him

Evidently Michele found a hole in my memory Until Alan said I wouldnt have remembered  There were no significant attachments adhesions

 

Yet you spent the night with her.

I spent one night with her

One night?

Alan echoed Fuckin’ crazy, you spent only one night?

he felt like he was at a carnival and two people closest to him were barkersran a freak show

he held up his index finger One night A second night wasnt going to up her acuity

I would think her acuity would have been evident before you took her to bed. his wife said

Yeah. said Alan more gas    

The calling card is physicality If Im not attracted its a no-go  An the go went

she harrumphed

No No Yadont get to harrumph If your face an shape didnt attracted me like a bee to pollen we wouldnt be married An you Alan yaint helping matters Yaint married so shaddup 

As a matter of fact yacan both shaddup I knew Michele briefly seveneight years ago She was a nice girl We had a nice time An she returned my cashmere sweater after I told her I wasnt going to be seeing her again

I didnt break her heart

 

But if you ran into her again you’d give her a bear hug and kiss her.

Insanely hot  Guilty as charged

1306,  Saturday,  10  10. 20