4.8.20


           2121 hours   ya gotta have something to say when its 2121 the day after a full moon a full moon that rose over a ridge and split uprights made by a cluster of palms to each side a moon that shone down through the livingroom skylight on the bed he made a futon on a green unfinished concrete floor where he would sleep whenwhenever he did

he sat at the futons foot finishing off a whisky that he poured earlier in the evening and hadnt been too attentive of

it followed him room to room as he moved restlessly through the house clinging to his hand forbidding him to set it down because if he did he wouldnt remember where he set it 

seemed the glass knew that better than he 

it vibrated like a slender struck tuning fork more motion than sound

he had been absentminded of late or appeared absentminded 

if that aroused as an issue he correctedquelled the assumption

he was distracted 

he was frustrated


when he was relievedwhen he wasnt the immediate caretaker restlessly he went through the house rarely outside if something went awry he could come at a call a bark to sounds which no words were attached or could be described in words

he admired the artwork hung in rooms books on shelves and stacked inside bookcases books read reread unread waiting patiently their turn hopeful of their turn
hundreds of books
                    which paled in comparison to his thousands

he told his girls when he died he wasnt leaving them money – unless they sold off his first-class library his art vinylthe 78s 45s 33s they knew where he stashed cash in the house but five grand in coins was backbreaking
he called it bait

that disturbed them

he spoke about it loosely wherever he might be

that disturbed them
                      because he also said if he caught a robberrobbers in his house they better kill him because they werent getting out alive hed put them up and have plenty for months

he teased Violaters will be cannibalised 
                                            it was looselybased on handpainted signs he saw on barbedwire fences in Montana Trespassers Will Be Violated
                                          he supposed his signhad he posted it might be considered more off-coloured still it made him laughnade him laugh uproariously
                                                        and that uproariousness his evident delight  was his daughters unease

he didnt talk about the war their mother said when she met him after it he worked as a carpenter a part-time butcher since he knew his way around meat she left that provisioning to him

he was a good cook too  they split shifts in the kitchen which tickled them to be able to 

lastly growing up ethnic he was raised on organmeat
                                                          when their distaste leveled in their eyes -- they and their mother didnt eat them -- he teased Isnt that offal  

when they were younger they thought he meant awful
                                                          so the mention of cannibalism compounded their worry  he said hed eat anything they took him at his word



sitting at the foot of the futon it bathed in moonlight he remembered a fascinating redhead who were few and far between
          he had a hard time recalling when or where

thinking he would have thought that such rare occurrences would have been fixed in his memory

almost funny he could remember names Giselle Rene her mother didnt care for the double-e  

she wasnt Giselle

she wasnt Rene

she was Giselle Rene

how she introduced herselfhow they met hazy  but he always called her by her name which was a mouthful  as was she

she was Frenchthe South of France she liked that he called her by her name it seemed she said Americans enjoyed abbreviating butchering names  nicknaming a despotic shorthand thought that they were oh-so-clever-an-cute
Giselle Rene
             she was a witch

she said she was

who was he to doubt her

long darkred luxurious hair

she was dark-complexioned for a redhead
                                             but he hadnt met many people from the South of France what did he know 
he didnt

so he shaddup

she had crystals placed throughout her condo in corners under tables bureaus on window ledges in lavatory sinks under her bed under the bed in the spare bedroom-study

when the moon was full as it was this evening Giselle Rene gathered specific crystals placed them on an ornate inlaid tray and cleansed them in the moonlight  cleansing and empowering them

she also moonbathed naked

he made damn certain he timed visits according to the full moon
                                                                    which was probably why he thought of her tonight

he quietly turnedswished the whisky in the crystal tumbler watched it move like a circular wavewatched the moonlight play in it off it prismatic lines reflecting mesmerising

he set the glass on the floor after a deep sip 

he laid on the futon under the moonHA maybe the moonlight would cleanse his rocks


he wondered where Giselle Rene might be this evening

they enjoyed a torrid sexual relationship obliging fuckbuddies
                                                                  then parted like plate tectonics he thought naturally


had she been more witchy she might have kept him

2121,  Sunday,  9  2. 20
1029,  Twosday,  4  8. 20
The Hollies  Witchy Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Laqi_pfEo8

$159K -- killed


“It is what it is.”

President Donald J Trumps pronouncement on American coronavirus death

he didnt expect any more out of a sociopaths mouth
1757,  Twosday,  4  8. 20

3.8.20


How do you live in this . . clutter?

he looked around art books records  bones 
                                                Clutter 
Yes. Clutter.


Is it clutter because it doesnt appeal to youif I went to your house would I find it cluttered

No. You can see my walls.

Why would I want to see painted or paneled walls
                                                         Or does that say something about you
with venom Excuuse me?

I spoke clearly

she glared

Glaring at me says nothing

You’re being offensive.


You amuse me You ask me how I live in this clutter . an .. Im being offensive 

Really? Why would I want to see your painted or paneled walls.

An you take offense to that  Wow  Onionpapered thin skin Im gonna make a leap you havent been denied muchhave gotten what you wantedyour way

Stop. You can’t defend your clutter.

Im not Thats your definition not mine

he could only imagine she hadnt seen images of European salon walls where artists hung their works in competition and risked possibly severe criticism all sorts of work  divergent harsh beside one another and yet each piece a thing onto itself the wall stepped back and away  was chaotic cacophonous discordant  jarring 
                                                                                            shed have lost her shit

his walls were no more spurious than the interior of buses subway cars trams at the height of rush hour abundant people who remained discrete as much alike as canvases watercolours etchings carvings sculptures as found art wabi-sabi  nothing lasts nothing is finished nothing is perfect

You couldntcant imagine the paintings as windows looking out or looking glasses
                                                                                       I often find myselfunfortunately not to be able to be outside these walls this room this space  and look in watch from without view it cryptically

her head began to sway

We have choices were doors A B C more and more If this moment were behind Door A enthusiastically I would reject it because again  enthusiastically  I am fond of you

I am fixed to the binary of quality versus quantity Quality wins If quality isnt present I pass  I do not partake I would rather do without than suffer mediocrity  Mediocrity is more abysmal than ever It is destitute lackluster

her head side to side  she was beyond listening

he interjected loudly No

she stopped shaking her head she was making him dizzy  No.


Good Then were agreed  Weve saved ourselves time andor anxiety

1031,  Twosday,  4  2. 20
1239,  Monday,  3  8. 20




the poorest excuse for not doing something is because of consideration family feels it deserves


they aint doing it the doing falls on his shoulder his pocketbook his life

its his experiencenot theirs
                           and why they would presume they had two cents to offerhe hadnt asked floored him

Have you given any thought to how it will make us look?

Not a moment

Don’t you think you should?

No


It will reflect badly on us.

Yare gonna have to fill me in when an adult makes a decision for themselves how that decision reflects on anyone other than them

I cant say I recall anyone in the family asking me what I thought or how I thought their action would paint me  It wouldnt Its their decision

You might consider it off-colour extended family will consider it off-colour but none of you have a right to tell me what to do  No one


You’ll embarrass us.

Let me see if I can say this . . kindly . . . Nope  I dont care Its my life and I do what I want

1727,  Saturday,  1  8. 20
1121,  Monday,  3  8. 20
The Animals  It’s My Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILZndyhHWQ4                     

2.8.20


                                           

                                                inadvertently or not he grabbed her headloosely held it by the high ponytail he asked her to make

she shook his grasp free

smiled

winked

went up tall on her knees

he slipped his hand inside her loosened bra gropedsqueezed her large tit
                                                                            she took him in her mouth  descended a bitstopped  up  descended a bit  stopped   up  descended stopped   up  she took him by his shaft gently moved him side to side in her mouth while running her tongue about him asif he were a tasty lollipop almost made him wanna give himself a try if he couldhe couldnt then she closed her lips firmly around him and tugged with suctionyanking his cock several times before coming off him POPping loudly he caught his breath then nearlysavage she took him by the balls and plunged his cock deep in her mouthher throat and wiggleddesperate like a speared fish deeper she took himgagged backed off momentarily breathed  lunged again and overwhelmedhe couldnt resisthe yanked her head by her ponytail thrusted she gulpedgagged again he thrustedthrusted gag a weak breath thrusted gagged breath they seizedfroze a moment tears in her eyes slowly he extracted himself whispering Greedy bitch she nodded a teary smile she couldnt say yet

Youre goin to Hellboth of you 
                               Ooh quiet fearsome conscience You know that Dont know thatno such place
You know THAT!
                 that wasnt conscience conscience didnt raise their voicethey often took a condescending tone but that was a tool in its toolbox though none of its tools were particularly effective condescension derision chastisement ridicule musical notes on a staff whaother is a conscience for
                                                       conscience had to be more brutal than others

he learned how not to listen to other peoples remarkstheir asides snide comments not listening  taught by keeping conscience in checkat arms length
                                   such a good Catholic conscience obviously paid attention more attention than he

times what it needed was a good thorough spanking sat down in a corner and told Keep your mouth shut until I talk to you and walk away
                      not too far
                                 just far enough to observe and make sure it doesnt budge off the stool he let it make faces at the corner because he wouldnt see them
YOU KNOW THAT!

his eyes came into focus above his cousins bobbing head

Donnalee  Hello

up  I can’t . .

stealthily Shut your mouth or Ill shut it for ya

Youll shut it for me?

he squeezed her tits firmlyboth hands released one and took her by her ponytail backed her off a bit she rolled her eyes I got work here, buddy she nuzzled and kissed his cock licked it flickered it

Emmilie stood just behind Donnalee looking on  quietly amorous quietly aroused  no upset

Emmilie he said Come here and kneel beside Donnalee

she hesitated

Im not asking

entranced subtly amused she stepped forward barefooted and knelt beside his cousin

he brushed her cheek with his thumbhe let his hand fall to her breast  Lose your blouse and bra

she looked up at him for a moment then slowly disrobedbutton by button shivered her blouse off How thoughtful  he didnt say her bra clasped in front

he took her by the clasp and shook her bra

he liked the tremble of her cleavage always had

he shook her againtad more vigorously then pulled her towards him by it she leaned in from the hips

he tilted her length and not to topple she put a hand on his thigh

he unclasped her bra her tits spread the fabric he paused  she thumbed her straps uncupped herself eased out of her bra her nipples erect

he brushed one aureole with his thumbthen the back of his index finger Donnalee stared while softly kneading gently turning twisting stroking his cock slightly mesmerised she hadnt been one of three before  Emmilies nipple hardened he treated her other aureole in kind with his other hand it grew hard he pinched it  OooOouh  he pinched it harder Ow her mouth opening You have beautiful breasts Emmilie  Doesnt she Donnalee

Yes. Beautiful. she looked Emmilie directly in the eyes I’ve admired you in the shower at school after competitions.

he leaned forward and down and kissed Emmilies uplifted mouth deeply and as he did her hand came off his kneeslid up his thighup his thigh to Donnalees hand

Donnalee let her take his cock 

she firmly grasped itsqueezed it tugged it maybe assuring herself it was realthis was really happening

he kissed her deeper

she tugged him harder

HEELLL  it growled

it amused him

Emmilie was having a hard time breathing around their kiss

he was too
             he broke off the kiss and sighed deeply
Donnalee sighed
Emmilie sighed
                and momentarily seemed surprised she had Joe by his cock then her reverie dissipated gently fled she looked at his cock in her hand  she said You said you were going to shut me up.

Yes

This was your intention how you were going to shut me up?

he reached out with his right and took the back of Emmilies neck with his fingers and gently drew her head forward towards him  Yes

she took no cajoling
                     she took to his cock like a dog to a bone  Donnalee played with Emmilies tits

You’re going to Hell.

Big fuckin mouths all ya got




when the party broke up  disassembled  Emmilie was left high and dry by On-Off the guy who brought her

Donnalee offered her a ride home If that’s okay with you, Joe, if you were thinking to give Emmilie a lift.

No  he smiled  If youd like to give Emmilie a lift  help yourself

as was his habitas was expected of him he mused he amorously kissed them goodnight

he liked that they kissed differently

Donnalees were soft sensual deep  her arms around himfingers like behaved meaningful claws

Emmilies was also deep but played his tongue with hers and wrapping her arms she slipped her hands to his ass grippinggrinding thempulling him to her he wanted to fuck her again right there

when they broke their clinch she felt his cock growing against her belly she said Gimme a call.

I will

Soon. Like tomorrow.

Yah  Oka . .
. . I’d like to pick up where we left off.

he smiled maybe more to himself than her Thatd be real nice Tomorrow

Tomorrow.

the girls turned to go and walking off they held hands as they went Donnalee said over her shoulder to Emmilie but loud enough for his benefit Let’s pretend that we were virgins and he’s the devil; he bedeviled us.
Amen. said Emmilie
                      he laughed raucously 

You’re going to Hell.

Fuck you if anywhere  to heavencrash the pearly gatestoss Saint Peters ass in the dirt and heap seraphs on top of him  Maybe someone cops a feel

Hey conscience ya let this mobymouth scare ya off Time to step up I dont ever want hear that mouth againraise a lil righteous indignation 
                       Unless ofcourse theyre visiting an youre tryin to be polite You are polite

1822,  Thursday,  6  2. 20
1309,  Sunday,  2  8. 20
Mamas & Papas  Dream a Little Dream of Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJwjLYRPxJY



Yaint In like Flint he told her might be a wasted analogy
                                                           he hoped she didnt think she was Coburn cool 
she probably wasnt aware him not old enough to dig him  maybe she saw him when he was older  beyond his legendary cool 

everyone gets beyond their cool before theyve known theyve exhausted it
                                                                              Model-As belching oily emissions  dirt roads byebye
         Eisenhower Interstates struggling to persevere



Yahbaby I do think of you when I masturbate I relive our orgasmic bouts 
                                                                              but that isnt to say youre holding your own not buffeted by sensual newComers

I masturbate to other women too
                                   reallife ones an those fantasised
                                                                     women informed by my copious imagination yaknow that cobbles together facial features body parts  fantastic amalgamations to  simply   fuck  have sex
formidable female frankensteins                                                                                                      
Yah Youre still in the running
                              but ya got to understandemphatically youre not running alone


truth can be harsh

he was harsh  honest


he likened his masturbating to Pamplona running of the bulls 
                                                                 and unable to diminish unable to truly requite it wasnt audacity to imagine rather a running of cows effete full swaying udders big brown Jersey cow eyes
looking into them hed forgive them their trespasses 
                                                      couldnt fool himhe knew of their superior lactation their superior protein calcium and extraordinary butterfat

aw  Matthew aw16:5  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses

he was better at forgiving and forgetting when it came to females he didnt dig either their fathershis father sticking their noses in where it was none of their business



aint In like Flint 


thats on her

no play
         no game

she didnt seemed innarested

others exhibited their innarest

he had told her he wasnt waiting

she preferred not to exercise her options



On you baby  its on you

2224,  Friday,  31  7. 20
0125, Saturday,  1  8. 20

1.8.20




where was this thinkin comin from


he looked at the hands of the clock
                                     lilhand on the twelve longhand on the twelfth minute  Twelvetwelve
Whadaya doin up Shouldnt you be in bed

Who the hell you think you are I didnt take that from my parents Time is my time I had a paper route at five in the morning I did it I recognised my obligations You trying to give me a hard time
Ill do what I gotta do 



to be honest to let the ball roll unimpeded   unimpeachable

he didnt have a paper route

he didnt have a jobhe wasnt going anywhere

he didnt get up until Tentwentytwo this morning

hed been conscious fourteen hours
                                   that aint even a double shift not that hed EVER work a double shift not that hed ever work overtime without timeanahalf pay 
                                         aint nobodys nigger raw but off the top of his head he hadnt immediate comparisons so he had to go outside his raceFuckin racist Nah he brought home the point that white people prefer not to think or consider the disparities inequalities other races endure and have endured
when were whites gonna get their foot off their necks   

he could have been sexist said  Aint nobodys bitch

Comon  racist  sexist  horrible grim truths  and hed evoke either
                                                                      wasnt hard to argue against white male privilege he recognised he was simplythrough no effort of his own born into it the exception was the cunts above him who tried to flaunt what they believed was their superior white male privilege 
                                                               but they dont talk so wellare hard to understand when yave kickem in the balls

Mymy maybe you should have worn a jockstrap to the office Oh Never played sportshuh Never played against a dirty player Yaint lived
                    those cunts were crude but when yave played against enough of them your skin prickles when yare around them yaknow it in your nuts an ya get up on em fast before they try to pull shit on ya




point was 
           its early the next morning  Twelvetwelve 

aint a soul who cares what time he crawls out of bed thats on himhis cross to bear
Christ wouldve dug a cross like that
                                     rather than have absorbed the sins of Mankind

Fuckem Christ fuckem in the eye teeth
                                         had he been a disciple thats what he wouldve recommended Fuckem in the teeth 


But if yare not on with that
                              Im off to light Mary up

0012 or 1212, Saturday,  1  8. 20



237-4454
           scrawled like graffiti on a brick wall that had scores of advertisements either painted on it and faded or paperscabs of industrial posters


237-4454
               least the muthafucker could do was grow a pair of balls an scribble the area code too  whoever 


above the number was printed   accept your fate  submit
                                                              he donknow him dohe   
whoevers art  they had no idea who they addressed
                                                     after all it was his dreaming they marred

he had no faithhe didnt buy into fate thereby there would be no abiding submission

cocksucker
             submittings a choice
                                     least for any individual who carried salt


Accept your Fate  Submit
                         sounded and looked like a church slogan a doorway through which indoctrination stepswalks in without wiping its feet

some people let that happen


some people dont



those led by their nose
                       miss the opportunity to lead


0612,  Thursday,  30  7. 20
2107,  Friday,  31  7. 20