onetwentythree in the morning   1  2   3  easy as that 

                                                           there was going to be a lunar eclipse  fivetwenty

he wanted to be able to wake to see it  Unless I go to sleep NOW  or unless I dont go to sleep

he looked at a copy of Bridges of Madison County on the coffee table  just finished it

thinking back over it shaman occurred to him  as did mysticism and love 

                                                                                he didnt think of love often

he thought  It was just a little lie  a little lie about love

it wasnt the usual lie 

                       that love spoken with sexual ardor and heat  which meant Thank you  meant orgasm  that meant anything besides I love you   three words  1  2   3  used selfishly  thoroughly trashed 

                                                                                                        used benignly

 

when he thought of love he imagined a warm love a comforting love  an idealised love that tickles the skintingles the scalpblushes the cheeksstrokes the throat inside  deftlydeliciously caresses the loins  like a cats lick 

                                                                                                             that was love

a prostitute doesnt hear I love you  not from a John

he said I love you three times

he said I like you a lot 

                       You like me?  Yes  I like you  I prefer to be honest

he was slapped for being honestthey wanted more  more wasnt for him to givehed been slapped more times than he cared to remember

like  doesnt   suggest  the gratification love does

                                                   so he modified saying so that he didnt need to tuck his chin behind his shoulderkeep his elbows up  take blows on his arms 

rather than lie he said  I love fucking you 

shame on himhuh

0123,  Friday,  4  6. 93

1333,  Sunday,  10  1. 21