he forced himselfhe gagged  food rarely made him gag
                                                           he was trying to eat a majority blackbruised banana he didnt throw food away or maybe  because despite himself  he had overlaid the darklingflesh superimposed on it ovary
a banana is an ovary 
yet
    he ate eggs raw ovaries nothing ever overlaid it not even if yolk was speckled with blood or if it was a fertilised egg and a little numbnut partially-formed  crunchy

he preferred food raw or as near raw as possible

steaks black and blue

steak tartare

thickcut liver  cold and pink between its seared flesh

sushi

parcooked parboiled vegetables

he was rarely thrown off by food
                                  Limburger cheese
what didntwhat wouldnt he eat

he didnt know yet
                    but blackbruised bananas they challenged him

his grandmother preferred her bananas overripe
                                                   when he squirmed about his bruised banana shed shut him up snatch the banana out of his hand and bite it like a beaver at a tree 
                                                               she ate it with relish

he probably ate them now to spite himself and as penance for the stink he made as a boy

shed eyeball him say something in Polish she spoke broken English if she wanted him to know what she meant he had a good idea she didnt want him to know what she thought of him in that moment peckerwood shitheel  grandparents were allowed to be derogatory of their grandchildren they werent their children 

when she became frustrated or angry and he was no slough engendering either in her the Polish slopped out over the top of its container hard guttural snarling  Polish
he wished he knew what she said

he wished he had the tongue to recreate it

Please he hoped it was vile  

he hoped it was I shit on your bed

Yes please  Shit on me too

bruised bananas
                      lyrical euphony   phonaesthetics

any opportunity he had to remember his grandmother he welcomed

0450,  Twosday,  18  2. 20
1554,  Thursday,  20  8. 20