it was Decemberslate gray outdoors

it was curious to watch the straggler-leaves fall from the apricots exposing the adamant fruit that wouldnt fall and went black and hard where they grew

he appreciated their ardent willfulnessit wasnt a tendency he often found or could remark regarding animate things

he was wakened in the dead of night by a text on his cellhis girlfriend wrote that Oscar her mothers cat had died

she was holding him

he peed on her

then he died

she wrote in the next text that she had been crying for two hours

                                                                     she didnt say if her mother was with her or if her mother even knew her cat was dead her mother cared for little beyond herself despite her loud incoherent protests when you fingered her for it  if she bothered to protest but narcissists arent very aware of things outside the bubble they fashion and roll bounce and roil and inhabit 

his girlfriend wrote she covered Oscar and would bury him tomorrow

he hadnt heard from her since

he felt deeply and badly for herhe sat with four of his familys cats as they died hoping they might know they werent alone

none of the cats were his

he cared for them in his familys absence

when puka the last-man-standing died he suddenly hadnt an indoor animal to care for

then his girlfriend went to care for her mother and left him with her cat 

                                                                            indie

he was one out of 27 kittens from five litters by two queens setsuko and her daughter link

his girlfriend named all the kittens except two which he did  mouse  though offhand he couldnt remember the name of the second  mouse for a cat(one could understand why she stepped up and named them) if you asked her she could go litter by litter remembering the name of every one

setsu and link were good mothers they nursed the others kittens they shared the same basket that they put down for them when they birthed and often inside it was setsu and link and seven very young kittens litters separated by weeks

a regular feral cattery

then the fire

then their new place

indie was inside bigfoot outside a huge male that someone cared enough to have neutered then beat him

he and bigfoots learning-curve took almost two years

bigfoot finally warmed up to the idea of him and on the few occasions of lapsitting bigfoot even allowed himself to purr as he gently stroked him

willfulnessits the willfulness that matters  

that he appreciates

it is the hard rock that things break themselves against

1246,  Saturday,  10  12. 16

1027,  Sunday,  11  12. 16