he couldnt tell if he was too preoccupied or too absentminded or too as his girlfriend wrote himHow did she say that because he never would  I wonder she texted when things keep failing and going badly if the universe is telling me something

he wouldnt say that because he hadnt either her intuition or inklings or ever had a gut feelingEverything ran through the sieve of his rationale or reason as he thought it through

so lighting the wrong end of his cigar almost pouring milk from a gallon jug into a shotglass sipping at his bottle of beer with its cap still fixed   what defined these actions

he pondered them in light of their last conversation  the prevarication the cruelty she withstood  they were likely still ticking his mind

he was shocked

he was breathless when she told him

How he askedrhetorically could someone baldface lie knowing full well youd explode it the moment you heard toldHow could your family accede to him  Its beyond my imagination and we both know how boundless mine tends to be
Im so terribly sorry

she had sat with her mothers cat on her lap as it died

her brother said hed come up to be there for her

so she waited on him to arrive so they could bury the cat

and while she was at a doctors appointment he arrived at their mothers house with his exboyfriend his ex now since the election his ex insisted driving her brother relented and at the house the ex told her brother and mother that she had told him confided in him to please bury the cat without her she didnt think she could manage it stand the grief

her brother and mother knew she didnt like the ex

they knew she wouldnt confide anything in him

yet they took him at his word rather than rebuke him

they usurped her grief her patience her waiting until her brother arrived so they could bury the cat together

as she told him he could hear the ex say  Im seeing to her wishes Im helping her as she asked me to to please lessen her hurt and pain  except his words were marred and muffled by his thought Its only a cat

he acted as the big tom he thought he was pissing on anything he wished

pure  thoughtless  cruelty

and that her brother and mother allowed it sided with him despite knowing better 

they were more thoughtless and cruel than he

he looked up from his beer and smouldering cigar

silently   overhead   a large hawk circled above him confirming his reasoning  confirmed him telling her to resist her doubts confirmed her injury confirmed her thinking wasnt wrongheaded as they accused her their horseglue to bind them together their odds three-to-one

perhaps the universe acknowledged him

he told her If you cant say it out loud love I will  They were cruel a cruelty I couldnt perpetrate against someone
I detested

1400,  Twosday,  13  12. 16