when a child who is dying tells you they are

                                                   and we deny them because were denying ourselves

acknowledge their reality  OUR reality

he did not accept that reality until his daughter communicatedtexted him Up my morphine

Really

Yes.

    hed jumped onto her bandwagon  I’m defeating ALS.

                                                               feeding tube be damned

Doc  When she no longer needs it we can remove it

    Yes.

 

that tube was cremated with her body

in a sense

removed

the doctor didnt lie

                        he  ultimately       lied to himself

    his daughter asked him to believe

he believed

 

half of her ashes are at his right hand

2132,  Wednesday,  7  10. 26

You recall when you referred to my Aries ram   as a goat

I don’t follow astrology, bogus, goat, ram, what’s the difference?                                   

Comparatively

                   A vast difference

Adult male sheep  A ram  An adult male goat

                                                    A buck  Or a billygoat

Vast difference  Entirely different animal specieswhich  you know  Were just trying to get under my skin

Which, I did. grinning

    Yadidnt

                  Just made me think that while you were attending USC either you failed them or they failed you

You graduated with a undergraduate degree in biology

I didnt graduate  but I studied biology a strong two an a half years in a quarter system an every biology class chemistry class had associated threehour labs

                                                              You said you didnt remember lab work

Wha  the  fuck

 

See.

           I did upset youget under your skin.

Actually  wha you aroused was pity

I cant wait for you to misaligned a chipmunk a squirrel with a rat  all in the Order Rodentia

The adept twitchysnakeishtail chipmunk will feel sorely towards you

                                                                             Likewise the bushytailed squirrel

    Youre makin no friends man

 

Butyah, I graduat . .

. . Without knowledge you enjoyed four years military service deferment

                                                                                  No Nam for you

There was no Nam for you.

    I refused to submit

                          Draft Board  I coudnt convince the others not to step forward

Every fuckinoneofem tha day did

Draft Board had me return again later tha afternoon the next day the next day the next day

Threats galore

Which were shit

Because the only way they coud prosecute them was if I did stepped forward

 

    I wish I knew how many of those guys returned

                                                           Not in boxes

hyenalaughed

                             Wasnt in my stars

late September,  2026

1646,  Wednesday,  7  10. 26

this afternoon a shorter shadow led him

a few days earlier taller  he followed them like a bloodhound on a scent

    I’m only shorter because of the time of day.

I understan . .

. . You remember the moon, the full Harvest moon on the twentysixth?

Jah

          You were very tall

    Oh.   You noticed. that seemed to sober them

I did

           I got my eye on you

You do.

I do

 

Why?

Im gangbusters onya

                         Our tether isnt something I take for granted

Its scarcely a tether

Were anchored a step at a timeevident when I stop walking  stand on one foot

If I lift my heelstand on the ball of my foot  scarcer yet

I leap into the air

Were unbound

    I sometimes wonder if I coud levitate

                                                     Woudya stick around

    I haven’t given that any thought.

A curious propositio . .

. . Was a curious thought

 

We can’t try it.

No

I cant levitate

That’s a shame; would have been interesting to put it to a test.

Ive no doubt

 

You hanging in there?

I am

            Your participation assistance helps

Aww.

         You’re awfully sweet.

 

1339,  Tuesday,  6  10. 26

1258,  Wednesday,  7  10. 26

flabbergasted

a uniquestruck him unique  word

etymology

             Oxford English Dictionary

First mentioned in 1772 as a new piece of fashionable slang; possibly of dialectal origin; Moor 1823 records it as a Suffolk word, and Jamieson, Supplement 1825, has flabrigast, ‘to gasconade’ [to boast extravagantly], flabrigastit ‘worn out with exertion’, as used in Perthshire. The formation is unknown; it is plausibly conjectured that the word is an arbitrary invention suggested by flabby adj. or flap n. and aghast adj.

oohbrother

             picked up for his personal perusal  gasconade flabrigastit which reading it fixated on tit an coud recall on too many occasions to count he was wore out by exertion  happy memories    mammaries

    it wasnt a word he used frequently popped up in the prior piece

                                                                                  then pausing to read a few pages in Stealing America: The Hidden Story of Indigenous Slavery in US History by Linford D Fisher he read  . . . searching for more such archival instances in the United States, the Carribean, and the United Kingdom, I was flabbergasted by how much evidence for Native enslavement exists in bits and pieces if we are willing to look for it.  . . . Native enslavement was everywhere . . .

he was looking forward to reading dismally more

                                                        flabbergasted

things come in threes

he was anxiouslyanticipating its next appearance

hed shit if someone said rather than him reading it

                                                      odds on  would read it   Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel

 

    were products of our upbringing

1048,  Tuesday,  6  10. 26

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgOWvpg1LwQ

Cranberries https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yam5uK6e-bQ Dreams  no  not the band

                   

                                                                                        Hot  Room temperature Cold

With what?

flinched didnt think that through  With something

They have to be with something

Turkey.

            Yams. Green beans. Creamed pearl onions. Thanksgiving. Christmas.

    No  Nothing

                    I enjoyem hot  sometimes pour vodka over them

Not as a side?

Not a side  Standalone

I don’t see the attraction.

You eatem

With turkey, ham, part of a meal. almost crossed her eyes  appeared tempted

So  you only haveem on whasounds like   holidays

   

    I . . . honestly . . can’t think of a time when it wasn’t.

                                                             They’re red, festive, pop like an exclamation point with dinner.

he nodded On the occasion I have it with something  oyster stuffingsurfeit with oysters

Holidays?

My familys elsewhere far far away   I don do holidays

Friends?

Im asked I decline I thank them

                                     I appreciate their invite

Why would you do that?

Ive my reasons  Weve only met

                                     Merriments not a strong suit  Id be performative an thabe dishonest

    Dishonest.

                      I’m flabbergasted.                                                                                         

I take it your familys nearby.

Yes.

I moved away from home long ago

                                            chuckled  in his head heard the conclusion of Rachmaninov Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor Op. 18   Home

I still call it tha

    Home is my parents  Where they are is home

I moved away long ago

I prefer dips

Like in a pool 

Yaknow laughed

                            Gene pool

You’ll excu . .

. . Speak your mind impossible to offend me

    I was going to say.

                            You’re odd.

An exception

                   Not to be confused with exceptional  laughed fullthroated 

2230ish,  Monday,  5  10. 26

1023,  Tuesday,  6  10. 26

Yuja Wang  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsqXCO0ADwM

Knick knack paddy whack

                            why that jumped his brain stomped it with hobnailedsteeltoed boots Christ hoped not a Roger Rabbit Paddy Cake affectation 

                                                                             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r9nEz8eowg

should have won The Academy Awards Best Picture of the Year

                                                                    Nope not Roger Rabbit from the wrong side of the warren

to be sure

            they inhabited less-than-desirable climes as kids   climes  more delectable than hoods neighbourhoods where they had to keep their heads on a swivel try like motherfuckers to be to remain a step ahead of the shit

                    prescient    nobodys fool

he couldnt speak for the bunny  

the mobile hanging in the hallway that was his room womb  tantalised him big beautiful bulging colourful hot air balloons

seemed mouthwatering fruits begging begging begging to be plucked from the sky

                                                                                        tempestuous

though out of reachhis arms too short legs too short  torso   too short

Knick knack paddy whack

                                   imagined them piñatasimagined

having a long length of bendyunruly bamboo that lazily turned in his grip when he swung

                                                                                                 rubberband bendy  elastic

pitiful strikes

                 then he realised itd have to be multiple strikes at a single place

understood

              easier said than done

patience

           had that

persistence

               had that

dogged

    Fetch sounds demeaning

                                       but when tables turned as they do  they didnt understand  didnt understand rue the day

Fuck rue

            he intended to ruin them

theyd never again congeal  never corrupt again

                                                      a tall order

unless their legs their arms were cut off  their vertebrae plucked like grapes from a cluster

    not for the weak of heart

                              but fear  having been weak  is bolstered by the umbrage of being a snotnosed kid who asked for none of it

who was innocent

 

    innocence can be vengefulhe hadnt turned a cheek

                                                            the weak of heart could leave it to him

Pleease https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtEktJIPPuM

Thas not necessary  Youre welcome    

late September, 2026

2124,  Monday,  5  10. 26

Im gonna keep atya until I can shake you free of its unfortunate grasp

 

    What?   I'm some kind of project?

Coudnt have said it better myself

                                         Im atya until you quit

You don’t?

I don  Why Im after you

                           he pointed to a sycamore tree  stood  walked over to it  fingered a leaf

Is this conscious

No.

    Are you conscious

Stupid question.

Ill ask again

                 Is this leaf conscious

I’ve said.

We always see things from the perspective of our own bodies.

                                                                   A quote  Youll have to forgive me  I cant remember where I read it who wrote it the bane of juggling a dozen books at a time

    You need to step away from your embodiment

                                                        The belief youre superior to a leaf

You crazy? I am.

 

You think so

It respires

It has function

It  is  conscious

                     Possibly to degrees we havent access

Weve our four bits

Time

Our three D  height width depth 

Its aware of time  Buds  Unfurls  Becoming a functional leaf it has sense of the three Ds Is aware of spatiality  Leaves do not overlay one another

    It has consciousness as we have ours

                                                   Although

It may have a fifth bit we havent the ability or imagination to comprehend an tha fifth bit is to our four bits

 

Five is greater than four     Correct

You’re being ridiculous.

Five   Four  Make of it whaya will

                                            However

The sooner you cease regarding yourself as the apex earthling the better off youll be

                                                                                            Be humble

Know your consciousnesshuman  consciousness  is not the sole consciousness in the world

It is abundant

    Then I can an will gratefully  Shaddup   

some awhiletime after 1731,  Sunday,  24  5. 26

1343,  Monday,  5  10. 26

Carlos Rovelli  https://www.theguardian.com/books/2026/sep/30/on-the-equality-of-all-things-by-carlo-rovelli-review-a-physicists-guide-to-life-the-universe-and-everything

Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus    couldnt get through it

                                                            his mind didnt work that way

but Wittgenstein put a fire in his belly whenever he stumbled onto one of his quote

    for instance

The problems are solved, not by giving new information, but by arranging what we have always known.

 

    experience

buddyboy doubted his

                           he crowdsourced before crowdsourcing was a thing

he asked his daughter

she told him What have I told you?

Youve told me whenever I wonder if somethings a thing   It is

    We done here? she was as curt as he made him proud anyone tried to pull the wool over her eyes shed hand them their ass

 

he shared the quote with buddyboy

I like it, arranging what we have always known.

Pleease

            Don give it lipservice

Its not the way you walk

    The . . . way I walk?

Not at all

                  New information

Im unsure you know whaya know You question others continually confer  seek confirmation  whaya know thaya know  only after youve been confirmed

And you don’t ask others, questions, opinio . .

. . Regarding wha I knowno 

                                Why the hell woud I

                                                                     

Whos writing your obituary

Excuse me?

Yaheard me

                Wha stooge lardass ya leavin it to Im not

Im writing mine

    Nobody knows me better than I do

You intent on crowdsourcing you

Cut it out.

You cut it out  You croak without an obit chuckled

                                                    Ill not be in the orbit to write ya one

I did  It woudnt be flattering

Though Ive an idea

                          Ya fancy your flattering AI

Let IT

Let it?

Jesus

            Let it write yours dupa

    Thas Polish for butt 

some awhiletime after 1731,  Sunday,  24  5. 26

1250,  Monday,  5  10. 26

The work of a philosopher consists of assembling reminders for a particular purpose.

    No

I care to disagree.

Thas whaya think of me

How do you think of yo . .

. . In a better light than you do

                                           Clever

I accept clever

Unlike whaya think

                           Why

I have my reasons.

Airem

Im a big boy youre a big boysay or shut your face

Or you’ll shut it for me?

    Nah

            Ill walk away

If otherwise I woudnt have said just got to business

                                                        Thas how violence works  Know its comin just get to it

Has served me well

Sounds like what I said.

                             Amplified more so by sayin’ you’d suckerpunch someone.

Someone cant read body language cant read timbre in ones words timbre in ones voice threw AI Assistant off five seconds  he loved making Googles entity think

                                                    Fuckem

They shoud get knocked out hed have knocked Googles block off in the time it sorted through timbre

    Fuck me?

Your mouth is going got a bug up your ass

                                                        Again   Im clever

You’re conniving. You’re dissembling.

Youre    Full of shitspewin shit

                                           Im walkin off

he went to speak to reply

Youd be wiseright now to hold your tongue

                                                      Being a friend buys you no quarter

late September,  2026

1152,  Monday,  5  10. 26

    maybe     four feet

not tall

            lateral

out ahead of him

                      was keeping an eye on it since he happened to glance down over the top of the book he was reading as he walked and saw what was the back of his head saw it staring wideeyed up at him

unnerving

briefly

then utterly curious

Say friend Looks like youre ideating

it blinked

             a long  languishing   blink

inside the blink he imagined it was thinking deep   assessing

                                                                             maybe

    a jailbreak

when it opened its eyes they appeared surprised he was still watching his finger bookmarking the page he had been reading

 

If youre thinkin wha Im thinkin Im game   Im willing to give you a shot

                                                                             with that he tossed a look over his shoulder for traffic coming up behind him  none   neighbourhood street off the beaten pass

he veered across the street

trees on that side threw their shadows on the corruptedcrumbling road

                                                                             Heres an opportunity  Yours for the takin    If you decide

Yacan get lost in the shade move through the tree shade tall oleanders stands of prickly pear cactus shade

    Melt right in

he walked into densedarkened tree shade unbroken or penetrated by the sun some thirtyforty metres

emerging out the other side his shadow still led him

                                                           still eyeballed him

he went through shorter spans of shade

each time

on the other side

still eyeballing him

 

One last chance man

redwoods tossed this shade

he could smell them in the rising heat that was nearing a hunred 

    entered

 

emerged 

    Awrightee  Think about it give it a good think

Ill take ya out again later this afternoon         

1040,  Sunday,  4  10. 26

1051,  Monday,  5  10. 26

The Shadow Knows  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMlRpN8ANrU