they went back and forth

                            buddyboy lamentingdamning him for not leading a full life

You're being selfish.

    Full

           According to wha whos criteria  Whos the arbiter

Im my arbiter

Full. You know what I mean.

Social

Yeah.  You need to get out and mix.

Mix

      I don even like mixed drinks  Enjoy it straight undiluted untainteddaresay  solitary

   I prefer a stimulating life

Which Im enjoying unimpeded

You should get out, enjoy yourself, meet enjoy other people.

Who woud deprive me of my time

That’s an abysmal, awful way of thinking itpeople live longer who socializ . .

. . Jah

        School shootings Borderline unfortunate Bar an Grill Thousand Oaks Cali Vegas Mandalay Bay

People socialising

I grant you   Extreme

That’s not what I’m talking about.

No    My point People socialising

You’re twisting the premis . .

. . Im standingup for my right to sanctuary  my individual agency personal autonomy elemental rights essentialsaid essential  prerequisites   According to me

                                                               Song

                                                              Animals

                                                             Its My Life

Lead you own as youre welcome to

I’m just watching out for you.

I appreciate tha

                    Thank you

1442,  Sunday,  26  7. 26

1052,  Tuesday,  28  7. 26

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx_ccpYv6Bc

accurate ?

             The White House Domestic Policy Council’s accusation: the “(Smithsonian National Museum of American History (NMAH)’s) current telling, the country is, above all, defined by white supremacy, slavery, conquest, exclusion, hierarchy, racism, xenophobia, misogyny, and systemic injustice.”

                                                                                              sounds correct

“(White House Domestic Policy Council) said the NMAH should ‘tell the story of how the colonies inherited slavery from both global and European slaving practices’ and how ‘America’s Founders helped spark a worldwide movement that ultimately ended slavery.’”

                                                           a crock of shit

https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/july-27-2026

                                                                                                                people get educated

reading wont killya

0911,  Tuesday,  28  7. 26

https://americanhistory.si.edu/

https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Smithsonian-Report-Saving-Americas-Story.pdf

China Mieville  Three Moments of an Explosion

                                                       We were eleven and death couldn’t touch us.

eighteen he was immortal

  submitted to the Draft

served in-country one tour thirteen months Marines

upset his parents

they didnt want him to serve

                                You can utilise college deferment.

2-S  Im 1-A

               I think not

Never once caught an A in high school

                                          Besides

Competition will never get more realany keener 

they begged  seriouslybegged Pleease.

Christ It was good to be eighteen

                                         Out from under their thumb

       obviously

        survived

        immortal

   proofs in the pudding

       butterscotch 

2245,  Thursday,  23  7. 26

1526,  Monday,  27  7. 26

https://www.gilderlehrman.org/sites/default/files/inline-pdfs/Draft%20Board%20Classifications.pdf

Stones  Under My Thumb  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0asxTqf0NhE

muttered  These new beds . . .

                                     bought the one he was laying in in Twelve

before he had slept on blankets on a carpeted concrete slab floorhis experience only in California

the Midwest  Chicago  wood floors  basements floor joists overhead  two storey house  ceiling  floor joists

slab is a different animal

needed blankets for – fuck – was it really – fuck it was – eleven years

                                                                           bedded his first girlfriend after his wife died on two blankets on the carpeted concrete slab

she was a sport

she still is

               . . . these new beds

no boxsprings

theyre incorporated

tall

       when his cats jump off the bed they have to negotiate the leap like they had acrophobia

bomber particularly

a tabby

minimum twentyfive pounds

could shatter a foreleg if he doesnt stick the landing

 

    his girlfriend asked when she realised he hadnt a bed  Why?

                                                                         Kiddo  I cant knock you off the floor

2147,  Thursday,  23  7. 26

234preferred,  Monday,  27  7. 26

if he hadnt have read fac ut ardeat   some time Sunday  26July  he couldnt say where  had been roaming through random booksmany many books

he wouldnt have found this

                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4lzA_aQx2g

which he had an appreciation for the melding blend fold merge combine of voice instruments and string instruments

fac ut ardeat translated  make my heart burn

                                                    relates to Marys anguishgrief at the foot of Jesus cross

His Crucifixion

 

Not heartburn

Don be an asshole

Were assholes You said crucifixion

                                          You say to pique us

Because I didnt say crucifiction didnt say crucinonfiction

                                                            No

Although heartburn your reference is an interesting word  Its etymology is the Middle English words hertbryne and herte-bren  literally heart burn combining the Old English heorte  heart and brennan  to burn

      Neal Brennan  Netflix  Three Mics  one for one-liners second for stand-up third for emotional confessions

microphone number three  To Burn

You think he knows tha

I don know wha he knows

Taking Wittgenstein  Whereof  Thereof

I is

Yawanna know wha I think

When I do Ill ask

1404,  Monday,  27  7. 26

who knew

           “I come from reckless, unsentimental people.”  Flamethrower by Rachel Kushner

he did too

    as a boy if an uncle didnt trip him when he was running through the house an aunt pronounced ant not tha queer aunt he on occasion heard that made the hair on the back of his neck standonend

                                                                             an aunt did

rugburns on his hands an knees

                                  he was moving  high school  was a fine scatback

did he learn his lesson

                        No

and Jah

        he made it into a game a gauntlet  and more than a few times he made it from the back of the house to the front hurtling feet legs laughing gayly at Quit running in the house. We don’t run in the house.

    no they didnt

theyd spill their beers whiskeys highballs wine coffee even Careful, hot coffee. didnt dissuade him

it was a fine dysfunctional environment

                                           helped him determinehone what functional was when he ran into it

like a brick wall

                 There now  Thaswha its supposed to be

growing up that way certainly made things interesting made him curious made him turn whatever sphere he was in in his hands like a child that does not know what a ball is they turn it overanover roundanround seeing it from every possible arc

a ball hasnt angles

he wasnt embarrassed when someone asked him what his people were like where were they

“I come from reckless, unsentimental people.”

                                                      who he visits once a year

2136,  Thursday,  23  7. 26

1235,  Monday,  27  7. 26

entropy  everything breaks down  Order  Disorder  Chaos   https://smarthistory.org/robert-smithson-spiral-jetty/

Goo goo g'joob

who knew

                let me count the ways I love my dick aside from its usual expressions

voyage began with being stumped by the word proprioception its fishhooks all being Ps which made the word terribly attractive the lone hint -ception he thought perceptionthought  some kind of knowing

 

    he gave up

                but just before he did a shiver ran through him his cock

ohno please not priapism

                             mariachi immediately chided him Its notChrist  Two different words

he wiped a few beads of premature sweat off his brow

they were right

                   proprioception an priapism are different words

    it did not change for a moment his opening who knew

he went to the dictionary The New Oxford American Dictionary: Second Edition proprioception                                                                                                                    …the stimuli sensory system that are produced and perceived within an organism him that helped him know where all of the parts of his body are relative to each other, and the orientation of his body relative to gravity  esp. those connected with the position and movement of the body

as long as he had the dictionary out priapism confirm his thought

                                                                                   … persistent and painful erection of the penis  late Middle English: via late Latin from Greek priapismos, from priapizein ‘be lewd’ 

who knew

                let me count the ways I love my dick

    who knew there were flavours of priapism

Ischemic priapism also called low-flow priapism

Stuttering priapism also called recurrent or intermittent priapism

Nonischemic priapism also known as high-flow priapism makes sense  must have symmetry  balance

 

who knew woud be whoever knew prior or learned here

                                                                  learn something new every day

2143,  Tuesday,  21  7. 26

1122,  Monday,  27  7. 26

proprioception  https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/senses/proprioception/

priapism  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/priapism/symptoms-causes/syc-20352005

Beatles  I Am the Walrus  (has a social curious  vocal personality)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Og-yjQGzIS8

That’s not a word.

If one can write one an express squeezeout the rationalereason in it  it is

What’s your comparison?

Isnt it obvious

Perhaps to you.

You saw crossed your eyes now cant see straight  the forest for the trees

peeved  What’s obvious?

Wholeheartedly   I believe

                                  Precedes   Precedent    Wholebrainedly

    I thought for sure wed agree wholebrainedly

crossing his eyes for real  I see what you’re doing.

Realeyesing

You’ve used that before, an earlier doing.

I have

         Tell me

    You’re riffing on the rhyme, we’d agree wholebrainedly.  Agree.  Brainedlee, two Es.

I am

You can’t help yourself.

I cant

          Word

    If I concede you’ll shaddup?

Howbout you concurId rather you concur with me than concede

 

I concur.

See

         Tha didnt hurtdid it

0917,  Monday,  27  7. 26

science  hard thinking  https://paulkrugman.substack.com/p/the-fire-this-time

Christopher Cross  Ride Like the Wind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd9rToNGTxk

A Desolation Called Peace

                                Even graveyards could be haunted by the things that made graveyards

page hunredtwelve 

which is probably why he dug graveyards

                                                want to raise your heartrate  go at night

when odds are precipitously against you

    No.  I think not.

Boyohboy

             Think  Or believe

Its a great old cemeteryyour folks are in good company  or not

                                                                    But since youve buriedem

You havent been

By the lightylight of the Buck Moon

                                          Yaoughta be emboldened

Not a pussy

If you think insulting me is going to encouragegoad me

No

     Bein declarative

If youre going to shit in your pants at the place your folks selected of all the graveyar . .

. . Cemeteries. Cemeteries. Cemeterie . .

. . Jaysus

              Ill go by myself

Scribble on a piece of paper where I can findem

I can’t.

 

    You cant direct me to your parents plots

I don’t remembe . .

. . One of your siblings recall

They don’t go either.

Oh for Gawdssake

                      Why did your parents bother

    Why not have ditched their bodies in shallow graves along the highway on your way up the family cabin in Tahoe use In-N-Out bags wrappers tentatively marking their spot until they blow away  the doubledouble wrapper youre good for one or two The Lord is good a stronghold in the day of trouble  regular burger Revelation Chapter Three Verse Twenty  Behold I stand at the door and knock Edmunds I hear you knockin butya cant come in soda cups John Three Verse Sixteen For God so loved the world tha he gave his only Son tha whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life milkshakes Proverbs Three Verse Five Trust in the Lord with all your heart French fries  Proverbs Twentyfour Verse Sixteen For though the righteous fall seven times they rise again but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes

                                                                                                  Memorisedem

Youd believe theyd keep creatures  things  at bay

                                                          I believe  Woudntya

Comon

          Come

    Maybe my sister Trud . .

. . The eldest 

Maybe she would know.

2148,  Tuesday,  21  7. 26

1552,  Sunday,  26  7. 26

Daid Edmunds  I Hear You Knocking  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnzRhAy62cI

    Seeded

                  I doubt tha

Although.

             You may have been.

Not tha Id be or am aware nor woud I participate

Why?

Competitive years are long gone

                                     I coud give a fuck

You’re no longer competitive?

I am notnot  really

Hows that explain your aggressiveness, your assertiveness.

Those are inborn character traits

Which one would think would define competitiveness.

Maybe if one were suckered into underestimating the other party

                                                                              Whod do tha

Underestimate?

                   You think people don’t underestimat . .

. . At their peril

                     Thasaskin for it

Haven’t you erredas you say, asked for it?

I was born disadvantagedno

Disadvantaged?

Learned quickly

                     Overestimated  Plannedno  strategised

Not tha I knew the word when I was a kid

Realised real young I had to play the cards I was dealt

 

Doesn’t everyone?

Ah  Jah

              But entitlement fucks with tha little factlittle  known   to them

Feel   Deserving

Their disadvantaged when running head long into someone unentitled

                                                                           Who have many more cards up their sleeve

A different kind of ruthlessness

                                      

                                       If necessary

Sounds like it was necessary for you

 

    Many more times than I woud have preferred

00:00,  Thursday,  23  7. 26

1310,  Sunday,  26  7. 26

Seven Mary Three  Cumbersome  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2G9Y-xFC6g

Je ne sais quoi

I do not know what

Dictionary.com  an indefinable, elusive quality, especially a pleasing one

A perfect description of our relationship going in an whaweve  ha weaved  maintained

That you both believed you couldn’t have a twentyfourseven relationship?

Jah  Exactly

                    Perfect

    I’m confused. Why?

Perhaps because your marriage was twentyfourseven

                                                                How many years

We were married twentyeight years.

We were married twentyfour but since Cindi was a flight attendant she was gone half the monthwed have to take vacations to spend a week together

                                               Twentyfourseven

 

I met kiddo a little more than six years after Cindi died

                                                            She had unnotable short term relationships due in part to her dates wanting more time with her  but  as a creative she needed time to herself an selfishly pursued it

Which was something tha very much attracted me

Those years after Cindi died I came an went as I wished

                                                               I did not tolerate anythinganyone

So in a word, you’re selfish too.

Selfish

           Jah  Its not an insult

Although people try to use it insultingly

I did not like sharing my time

 

    Then  Kiddo

And, for both of you, a twentyfourseven relationship.

Bizarre

            It was insaneremains insane

Ill say shell say Youre still here

                                    Anwe laugh

She doesnt cover her mouth

Shes got killer dimples

Gawd how we laugh

 

How long you been laughing?

Approachin sixteen years

546preferred,  Sunday,  19  7. 26

1152,  Sunday,  26  7. 26

    Oh   Got him

Like jiggin for fish

Icefish jiggin

Ever

He hasnt  Though Id wish hed try

Hes okay with the cold

Is  Id be okay him doinit once

Then probably not again

No  Its like him to say hell try things twice

Twice

         Why

He they were referring to the man they inhabited broke his leg skiing first time out  Following winter went skiing again to prove he coud ski without breaking his leg

    And

He didnt break ityou werent there

I was not here then

How long have you been

Awhile  But not then

    You schlepping around

Wasnt schleppinghadnt found the right fit

This guys a square peg forced into a round hole

                                                    Both the peg an hole damaged butOh he made himself fit

Not cantankerous

No  I woud say tha

Whawoudya say

Assertive to the nines

The Nth

Jah crazy aggressive

                        Anticipates trouble he leaps right in takes the advantage

Assertive  Aggressive

                              Then youll have to explain to me      Dovecote

The word his word the one he found today

Jah

Hes attracted to words

                         Hes attracted to them phrases sentences passagesChrist sometimes paragraphs

Dovecote  No fishhooks  Letter on a line

Thasaid

          Youve been here a long time

Though not around when he broke his leg

Yasaid

         Whenever he tells someoneuses tha old theater line Break a leg good luck he cant keep himself from laughing

Jah  I have experienced tha many times

                                                Hes thoroughly amused

Doesnt take much

Dovecote

Pigeon house

Whard he find tha

In a book review for Shuggie Bain semicolon then came Young Mungo

Thas an awesome title

Colourful to say the least

0913,  Sunday,  26  7. 26

https://heald.nga.gov/mediawiki/index.php/Dovecote/Pigeon_house

https://www.npr.org/2022/03/29/1089215299/book-review-young-mungo-douglas-stuart