20.12.24


death   oblivion
                   he knew wha shapedformed the pair    oblivion attractive   oblique attractive
maybe it was because his life was smalldidnt socialise  that lefties death impacted him as deeply as it did

she was coming into her own
they related
were intimate
               her choice
the other three werent prone
very catlike

                 which is why he had cats
was not keen on dogs
demanded attention
                        brooding loyalty
possiblyprobably why couples tested the water with dogs before going hogwild
                                                                                      have children
see if they could tolerate  manage   a mammal  pet
the smart ones

                      unlike those whose children were byproducts


he lead a small contained life jammed full of badgering interests
                                                                     few distractions
entertained himself
                      therefore
lefties death
unexpected
subtracted
              substantially shook him              

    her ashes lay in his lap as he wrote as she used to sprawlbe stroke while he did

1544,  Wednesday,  18  12. 24
1233,  reggaefriday,  20  12. 24

    dreaming  Quit composing  woudya
                                                 mete out clearly  sharply
words woke him
                   could suppose they gave him permission to use the head


urinating he thought  he was composing   Chainsaw  Hacksaw  Buzzsaw
                                                                                 Chain  Hack  Buzz
coud hearem bitch in the bedroom Don’t call us that.

they could read his mind But yawere ya absolutely were  Pulled my ass out of a going-one-way sling

Don’t call us that.  Please.
                             they werent really worried they knew he wasnt partial to nicknames
hed only use them in the future teaching lessons  or to recall his deep affection for them his respect that they saved his ass
You were truly magnificent
                              Say thank you

they chuckled conspiratorially
                                  No biggie Daddy-O, no biggie.

 

    fast asleep  awakened
                                               noise   in the livingroom
he sat up two cats were poised at the foot of the bed their attention riveted on the hall livingroom beyond
                                                                                                               queen sat on the steamer trunk under the window she too was fixated on the doorway hallway

he slipped out of bed
was naked

    didnt do the cinema HELLO  WHOS THERE

cats primedremained steadfast  eyes big their vision working the dark

silently he went up the hall into the livingroom
                                                no sooner stepped inwas rocked by a fist on the temple staggeredthrew a hand outcaught the sofa table eyes went to his coach coachs eyes convinced him he gathered himselfdidnt dropped though some element wanted him down  he was yanked off the tablespun right into a telegraphed haymaker meant for his face tucked his chin took the brunt on the forehead widows peak that couldnt have been comfortable was rocked backwards into flurry of kidney punches glanced again coachs eyes convinced him  he spunthrew an elbow caught bone skull  was banged forward a knee meant for his balls turned his hip took it on the thighbehind him a hiss from Hell shriek queen shreddingclimbed an assailants back bit his neck slashed his face with both paws claws took an eye assailant to his right  tom a heavyweight  slammed into the outside of his knee it turned inwardcrumpled he fell tom lacerated his shins thighs bit his hands as he tried to fend him off coach nodded but his leg collapsedhe hit the wall with his shouldertook heavy claws upcross his back then he was light and the guy before him with the bad hand wrist was slow to get his arms up avoid the buzzsaw of claws that raked his chest throat lips face a bloody slicedslashedfuckin mess rendered in seconds
                                                  cats leapt away growling deep in their throats  hissing  backs arched
fuckedup three hit the doordoorjambs stumbled out cryingmoaning they escaped down the hill
looked at coach 
                  put a stool down in his corner


    Chain  Hack  Buzz
                            Don’t call us that.
    
0534,  reggaefriday,  20  12. 24
1052,  reggaefriday

FRAGILE
                     printed clearly on a cardboard box mailed for Christmas containing cookies

is the same kind of thing as a woman telling a man NO

0833,  reggaefriday,  20  12. 24

19.12.24


he knew wha shaped his question

hed bet friend forgot weekanahaf thought leftie was one of the outdoor ferals


    Death   Or oblivion

Jesus. I get up, topoff my drink, and walk into this?

Yacoud simplify itknow ya don like to work tha hard
                                                         Toss a coin    Dead head  cleverhuh

Yeah. No.   No. I think I’d like to give it some thought.
                                                                Why the question?
Obviously was playin with oblivion
                                         Oblique occurred to meliked its look   Gave it a little twist
Oblique live on  obliqueliveon

Deads dead
               Maybe not oblivion obliqueliveon


    Why do you do that?to irritate me?

No  How can ya not
                       Words Building blocks toy building blocks  Thoughts sentences paragraphs parcels for poems essays short stories songs books   literature

State of being unaware  Unconscious of what is happening
                                                                   Your ceaseless annoying semantics
Resistance  Opposition

Death  Oblivion

I got a coin


    You know.  
                   Maybe I will.

Quarter comes back to me  Tails is a buffalo

I think I’ll go with your clever dead head.
                                              he flipped it high
Absolutely heads
Fiftyfifty.
Absolutely heads

pissed him off
                heads                                        
That’s not proof of absolute.

For thacall it was

That’s not proof.

Ive got a theorem confirms absolute   Proven by a chain of reasonin . .
. . I know what it is.

Like a song you do

    What’s your theorem?

You absolutely   woudnt have sex with a guy

1500,  Wednesday,  18  12. 24
432preferred to 1632,  Thursday,  19  12. 24

1937  Meyer Shapiro  Nature of the Abstract

Abstraction: The pure form once masked by extraneous content was liberated.

semantics
             extraneous content

pure form
             essence essense  revealed   released
unbound


purity
         which desires as he must is not absolute though he still pushed it it is also why he does not gamble

    absolute  oxygen in his veins


he liked figurative art

he liked photography
                       neither which he could dowanted to do because he was attracted to things unseen which incorporate the necessity of imagining whaelse could behad hid cloaked itself   in the shadows shade

    reminds him of Rorschachs

 

Wha do you see

What do you see?

Im not going to say because you might renegemight Awyah.  I can see that.

I wouldn’ . .
. . Yawoud
              Yado
I relate a story whether its nonsensical or actual or actualembellished fiction rises from nonfiction non from fiction I ask you to tell me a story
You don

Yacant


    You have better stories.

Its not a competition
                       But you seeI believe it is fair to say  most things in that light
Zero Sum

    Im opposite

 

Look again
 

What do you see

    Yeah.  I’m not playing.

2214,  Sunday,  3  11. 24
1140,  Thursday,  19  12. 24

It’s semantics.

To you
            One mans semantics anothers bane  In my case annoyance

I annoy you?

Yado
       I like words to describe detail  concrete accretions    Committed
You skate


    You enjoy being a contrarian.
Correction
             Thadbe cuntrarian   Accurate
Soitenly more playful  Stooges
I know.
Wasnt sure you did


Howbout we change up?

Im listening

The coming inauguratio . .
. . Coronation
it looked like he glowered it looked like he glowered
                                                   Did you glower

    Glower?  Made a face.

Angry Sullen   Scowl he chuckled
                                       Semantics 

    So   I interrupted

You frequently do.

I do  Otherwise we find ourselves waitinround for you
                                                            The coming whasoever

You think there’ll be buyers’ remorse over the next year?

B S

    B S?  Bullshit?
No

Explain.

    Buyers sorrow  an Im not helpinem out one bit
Too whahaveyou think theyve won something beat someone a game  it aint
                                                                                 Wish they only fucked themselves over
But they fucked us too

the remnantglower evaporated

overnight,  Thursday,  19  12. 24
0951,  Thursday

 lefties home

1340 hrs yesterday

li’l screwball  somehow she was assigned Lifty and Liftie     Really


18.12.24

 

being infatuated

     not facilitating

 

2043,  Wednesday,  18  12. 24

Iron Butterfly  Most Anything You Want  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QZdITJX6I0

    they   he loved they  they gave them cover

                                                          they gave him too much lead time
if they wanted to hang him out to dry they should have come for him hardfirst 

they thought theyd torture him

Question

               What’s the most desirable thing in the world?

clowns ahead of him stumbled dupes
                                        but   looking over them  at back of the room   those  beyond  leering like wolves setting a kill

    And you?

Me

Quit stalling.

Id say the most desirable thing in the world  is
                                                      Years of accumulatedunmolested    dust

1958,  Wednesday,  18  12. 24


she walked out of the shadows thrown by trees into the wash of the sun
                                                                                a midday  summerJuly sun
that irradiated the fat sand sparkling in the concrete ciliate motes whirling at her ankles her calves churned by her daughters to each side  holding hands
                                           the children were mongoloids

they were lost in the midst of fast conversation
                                                   their smileslaughter rapidly coursingcrossing their faces  FUN made him smile as they chattered

he enjoyed their ease  natural  genuine
                                               Wha word to colourem he thought Not coloured between the linesNo  tha woud not do

    WatercolouredYes  diffuse   moving where the moistwash drew them

they were oblivious to the people who stepped wideround them
                                                                   passersby who were unnatural uncomfortable  averted their eyes impulse to stare  acting asif theyd contract the girls condition

passersby
             failing to recognise their fortune

                                                                     

 accuse    

Wednesday,  13  7. 05
1403,  Wednesday,  18  12. 24

Loudmouth Loudermilk complicit asshole releases a horseshit report
                                                                          excuse me HORSESHIT REPORT

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/watch-jan-6-panel-releases-video-of-rep-loudermilk-leading-a-capitol-tour-day-before-attack

1523,  Wednesday,  18  12. 24

https://www.axios.com/2024/12/18/cheney-criminal-investigation-house-republicans-jan-6-report

17.12.24


he liked Oblivion
                        some spelled it  O B L I V I O N
he spelled it
                 H A S H I S H  &  B U F F A L O T R A C E  &  B O U R B O N  B A R R E L- A G E D  S T O U T
D R A G O N ‘ S  M I L K
                            he liked gettin where he was going  slowly incrementally   with all internal baggage banginround reminding him wheres hes beenwhere he iswhere hes going
                                                                               which   didnt impress him in the least
oblivion has texture
                      curvature
like fuckin a Playmate from the Fifties when he wasnt fuckable
                                                                    do not try to curb his enthusiasmimagination
hedcutya
             not a threat
a promise


L O A D E D
                 I spell it right
How else would you spell it?
    Me
          G O A D E D
got to dig aidesadvisors  chemicals  who fly in out of leftfield   brighten my day
                                                                                       a day without sunshine is shit

    it took him to leave the Midwest to appreciate SUN shine
winter  cold   dour
                       Midwest had chose for him
he hadnt chose for himself

    then he did
                  anthought he was a fuckin genius
THIS
       reminded him of when he was a teenagerAGER
                                                            like years meant shit
he was headstails beyond shit
                                  had been informed by hard men who likely crossed some fuckinlines to inform him  defend   him
BE YOU
         Be You  ought to be a commandment
                                                   to his thinkin

but he was high

2007,  Tuesday,  17  12. 24
2235,  Tuesday

    shit keeps creepin in

Whasthis

Keep your voice down

    Whasthis

I . . weve no idea
                    You know how things percolate in his mind
Out of leftfield
Definitely
            I hazard ya havent been round long enough to to appreciate his cognations
Anbest appreciate when I say cognations Im saying nations
                                                                When Pangaea separatedbusted up into landmasses those lands tha became nations have nothing on him
languages  customs
                        fuckanything fuckeverything seem to occur to him
Out of leftfield
    Out of the fuckinblue


what dribbledwhat  disturbed them was
                                             DISTURBED

                                               TURBID
                                              
                                             DISTURBID

                                              WATERS

Wha are disturbid waters

Wha do you understand
                           Cuz your guess is as good as the rest of uss guesses
Seems pat
             I think wha hes seeingremembering is the turquoisecoloured frigid I D  water of the Kenai River
Disturbid  Frigid

    I remember
                  But you werent here yet
No
    But Ive discovered his memories are ours if we apply ourselves

Yes
     Though some of usfor whaever reason fail to have tha ability anare dependent of others  like yourself   to share

    Sharin

1605,  Monday,  16  12. 24
1500,  Tuesday,  17  12. 24

ifnot a Record  a personal recordblew his mind
                                                      to be fair  that didnt take much
he was all-in on the impossible Im-possible unlikely  unexpected

so when it salliedup

he embraced it
                 tied it up with knots he learned in shibari
OVERREACH
               cant tieup hardboiled eggs  but

he peeled four JUMBO eggs inside one minute
                                                 slapped them with flat of a butterknife rolled them in his palmsthen  literally
          unsheathed themliterally
he couldnt remember something happening that quick since he stripped when a Nordic blonde in Miami told him to undress because she wanted to fuck him in the worst way
                                                               on a livingroom floor
in someones apartment she knew that they partied with

took a week for their rugburns to heal
                                         not that that stopped their torrid weeks-long fucking until her boyfriend Thor – NO SHIT – returned from Maryland – none the wiser

2302,  Monday,  16  12. 24
1419,  Tuesday,  17  12. 24

https://www.shibariacademy.com/pages/basic-knots

grim

    DANGER
                 the danger is the anger incorporated in the word  d-anger

a derangement of anger
                         in it  in that   Der-ANGERment
anger incorporated
                     embodied
and asadze  anger is emotional
                                    the person tends to be irrational
thereby
          battlefield danger comes out of everywhere

enemy fire

friendly fire

unfriendly fire
                 endgame
if fortunate
             Death

if unfortunate
                Maimed  Disabled  Disfigured    for Life


    warriors dont fear death
                              he she fears disfigurement he fears emasculation
a healthy young body
disabled
disfigured
dis-spised
dis-spied
             Who wants to look at that?

suffer the ramifications of being tolerated  THE LOOK
                                                          I can tolerate you rate you grade you
because you  dis-whahaveya  lack the capacity to tolerate me . . .
                                                                          GET IT

                                                                     DO YOU GET IT
by your disability unability inability
                                       you are less
thereby  I can TOLERATE YOUbecause
                                             frankly  honestly
I cant lose you in a crowd you stick out like a sore thumb
                                                             I may try to lose you

if I fought a war
                  I wouldnt want to fire killing shotsNO  Id want to shatter your spine  rob you of a lifetime standing upright  getting around unaidedcripple you  disable maim disfigure
                                                                          so in the light of day flinch at your wound  then
Ive killed you day-in day-out

marked
marred
         youll always remember that Day

           indelibly etched in your mind

therein lies the terror-work

dependent on the “kindness” of others

no matter how independent you think you are  

Tuesday,  25  7. 06
1236,  Tuesday,  17  12. 24