What do you do?

    Thas not original

Original.

I hope your making friends

                               Yawont with me

I won’t?

              Because I asked what you do?

Precisely

           Was there anything I said as we talked tha suggested I had any interest in whaya did rather than whaya liked to do read like to watch film  like art like museums  aquariums planetariums   he chuckled

                                                                                                            Walks in the rain

You’re throwing me a lifeline . . . aren’t you?

                                                       Aren’t you?

Youre a sharp cookie

                        Im attracted to intelligence friend calls me sapiosexual

Anif tha aint enough he describes me to others as a sigma male

                                                                     Which maybe a knock

Also calls me antisocial  Which is incorrect

                                                  Im an introvert                                                                                          

    Isnt this nicer than wha I do

2105,  Sunday,  15  12. 24

I have a frien . .

. . End   End     The end

                              Not interested

Hear me out, don’t be a prick.

See   See how easy you IDd me

                                    Crushed it

Really?

   Reallys are so terribly useful

                                       Drives me nuts

Really

   Won’t you hear me out?

Catchin my drift

So you’re pulling yourself out of the game?

Game

        Hear yourself

        

Its not a game Ive no interest

                                Strikes me curious whaya think love is

Ive said timeanagain many times  Im in love with my girlfriend

But you haven’ . .

. . Which is none of your business

If I understoo . .

. . All you need to know understand

                                          Its none of your business

2008,  Sunday,  15  12. 24

Doors  The End  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXqPNlng6uI

where does he go from here

                                his sighs have lessenedbut he still  sighs   deeply

hes not one to sigh

                        which means

hes done something right

he chuckled

                  out loud Inadvertently

wished he had a mirror to see his expressionreflection

                                                           despite mirrors not kind to him

    Mirrors

Yah  You heard me

Mirrors

           Really

Yah

    Youre not kind to yourself

                                 Then when you arelike right now  this past week

You struggle to treat yourself  well

You are worth it                           

Can you admit tha

                       Youre worth it

Im afraid youll have to take tha up with someone elseconvince someone else

You are worth it

Wellsee

            I play the long game

The long game

Its too early to call

    Ifya get to the end

                          At least the end you imagine

You coud come up short

I like you

           Cold comfort

I like you too

2027,  Sunday,  15  12. 24

Booze bagels boychoy booze bagels bokchoy booze bagels bokchoy

                                                                      Canadian whisky was thereCrown

swinganamiss bagels

                        days old wouldnt shell out $5.79 for 5 yakiddin mewhos gettin pinched   a buck a bagel

its a fuckin bagel

    almost threw himself a curveOrganic Greens blend of organic baby spinach baby chard & baby kale $5

eleven ounces

                 almost

first rule of Fight Club

                         Never fuck yourself

boychoy .72 lb  $1.43

.72 lb  12cents an ounce

Organic Greens 

                  46cents an ounceA FUCKIN OUNCE

Fight Club

if he looked ridiculous at CheckOut

                                     booze zipbagels bokchoy  so be it

would have considered frozen edamame but there wasnt the shelled one pound  $1.99

there was a frozen package  $4.99/lb

                                           cleared his throat  muttered Somebody blow me

1454,  Sunday,  15  12. 24

What do you mean by that?

    Wha I said

Thrilled by a stairwell.

Arya kiddin meOh fuck youve probably not had the opportunity to enjoy one

                                                                                 Never been urbannever been to a sixthfloor walkup

Bro

        You havent lived

Your lifes been nothing but sunnysunny rural California

This isn’t rura . .

. . It aint urban

                 Got to go to San Jose LA before buildings grow tall Anmost ofem three storeys have elevators

Theyre amazing

Can be artful

                I love a good one

    Like admiring an attractive woman her curves  lines

                                                                 Purpose 

You’re likening a stairwell to a woman?

    Built

           Care to refute me

Tellinya    Cant beat a good stairwell

                                         Youve missed out

2106,  Saturday,  14  12. 24

1310,  Sunday,  15  12. 24

Sorrow Dark Ambient Music  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r68r3V-GIo

. . . best intentions

shy jumped up in his lap

he asked her Whas the sayin

she nudged his chin with her foreheadpurred

                                                 otherwise mute

as cats can be

                  silent their middle name

their last name

                 unlike they who keep them insist cats take on their surnames like wives are put upon  until they flashanbare their hyphen

                             is stealth

    The road to Hell is paved with good intentions

                                                     hes sure there are others

this was the one he was thinking of

Whadaya think shy                                             

she jumped down off his lap without remark

she said

          she knew he take her on circuit carnival circus freak shows late night television

monetise her

thought There wasnt enough salmon catnip silvervine in the world.

the full Cold Moons best illumination was at One0two Sunday morning

he set an alarm on a travel clock hes had since he was a paperboy  EATON  QUARTZ

manufacturer probably now long gone

                                               any one that makes a superior product has to go away

alarm set

went to bed still dressed in sweats

high Thirties that time of the morning

hed see Her

would spend ten minutes with Her

back in hed undress

slept naked

hasnt understood pajamas since junior high

told Santa to return them

alarm went off

                rolled up on his right shoulder reached across his body depressed the button on top it

ALARM off

shouldnt have rolled back on his back

two deep leftie sighsLights Out

woke in the middle of the night

dejected

undressed

back in beddidnt masturbate

                                hadnt earned it

some lucky imagined woman would have to wait

    had the best intentions

woke in the middle of the night,  Sunday,  15  12. 24

1036,  Sunday

https://www.petmd.com/cat/general-health/silver-vine-plant-alternative-catnip

    chumming  its essence

                              ifya havent he has

Great Whites

Farrallons

             cant compare shit with twentyfeet of perfectedmurder hypersling past your briny bloodtinged ladle in blue water

         a feathered glove tuggin your cocktickling your clit

nothing like it            

    hes chummin 

how fuckin antsy does one have to be

antsy

        which doesnt begin to describe his irritationfrustration

all hes got to work with

    antsy

irritation                                  

                anything . . . 

    . . . young black chick her full lips a perfected inimitable crimsonslash sprawled chestcross his cock has appeared three nights running in his dreams because he hasnt had sexabused her  her afros parted in the middle  two rounds to either side of her head 

                          reminded him of Mickey Mouse

coud be part of the hangup

                              doesnt want to be blown by Mickey thas the case bring Goofy aroundkeep Minnie away

WAIT bring Betty Boop round if she isnt tying one on this evening

                                                                       thas a threesome hed be in on even if it was with another guy  Betty coud suffocate himcoud dismount his face ejaculate with such a force thad embarrass him

if he coud be embarrassed

he was her biggest fan

                         he knew celebrating her magnacopious gobsstream turned her on

I dare you to suffocate me bitch

I’m gonna killya.

    tha aint love  he didnt know wha is 

 

651-ish-ness,  Friday,  5  9. 06

1111 – 2311,  Saturday,  14  12. 24

Zeppelin  Lemon Song  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvCQ6ntgteQ

Steve Irwin  https://www.onthisday.com/articles/wildlife-warrior-steve-irwin-killed-by-stingray

vodka

CAO cigar

Jujubes

           If thadon start a fire I donknow wha will . . .

I think Open Studio’s gone to your head.

Not yours

            Its freakin delicious

Usually unseen unrevealed Art smack in your face

                                                      Who woudnt like it to be seentheir Art seen  their creations

Create  Secreate

                   Things on a boil

You said secrete?

S E C R E A T E

                   Howya spelled it

Wrioter  W R I O T E R                             

                         Thas how its spelled

Snails on salt

What?

Eversee

No.

They bubbleboil

                     Grampa told his grandchildren  See how happy they are?

Jesus.  That’s fucked up.

Yadon know the haf of it

                            As a wrioter I secreate anya don wanna be standing in front of me once I begin

No brakes

No brakes?

Worse

         Woudnt want to be near Ground Zero when I go off

Shrapnel

Shrapenel

Shrapenel?   Peppered it . . rape?

I did  Look at you

                   Challenges wha someones spine is made of

Spine?

Organic  Erect

What do you mean?

I mean its meninges rises up into their skull painting graffiti on its arched vault

on the reverse of the page is 6/9/2006,  Friday

1417,  Saturday,  14  12. 24

He coud blow him up

Why the hell woud he do tha

You don think thad be funny

                               I havent seen anything like this since hehe was in junior high  Remember

Yes Social Studies

Miss Werner

“His juices are churning.”

Yaremember

How coudya forget tha

Coudntwoudnt

                  Behind tha heavy social studies textbook hes reading Mickey Spillane

Methinks helped his juices

Ohnodoubt

                  He shoud blow him up

    Why

Recourse revenge

Ya pull revenge on the people who side against you

Then recourse

Action

Yah

         Awfully funny

Yasee his old lady

Please Her yammerin preceded her sits across from him anshe . . . shes .

Ugly

Is

    Woudnt turn our heads

Ohhellno

           So youd rather he upset her husband whos quietly readinghiding a girlie magazine behind his Wall Street Journal

Havent you been watching

I see Whaya seeing I don

He aint read

                Hes obsessatiating

Oh  I like tha

                   Obsessatiating  Clever

Cant take credit not mine  On occasion I flip through his brainstored Rolodex

                                                                                  Hes a peach

I think he ought to out him

    Doesnt appear hes interested

Excuse me he wrote on paper an I quote

                                            Man with the ugly jabbering wife  Tyrannosaur Rex arms  Bet ya couldnt make him fumble  is hiding a girlie magazine in the fold of his business newspaper

                                                                                         So somewha interested

Though apparently not enough to out the poor bastard

    Perhaps not

No

    Too bad on occasion we don wield power

651ishness,  Friday – Dallas airport,  15  9. 06

1134,  Saturday,  14  12. 24

Aerosmith  Dream On  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89dGC8de0CA

    altered

              allteared  psychotic aspect  episodicpsychotiche didnt want a psychologist psychiatrist getting ahold of him

their fictions would count more than his variedvarying truths

                                                                no matter which wagged his tongue for their hour

or chose silence

                  looked crosseyed out of the corner of his eye no small feat as they questioned interrogated him

they wanted dialogue

he wanted

             the effervescent rapture of arguing with himself

fierce tag teams

pushed into a corner back to the wall

                                         the only way out  through him

Thru you thru you

                      truth ruthless   truth      which is dangerous      which is liberating

angst

anxious

unfettered unbound unmoored

he hid his touchstone from them

played out the chain to his anchor

                                    lying We’re adrift.

if they werent armwrestling their fictions theyd understand his lie was unfounded

                                                                                        he  imagined

he playcated

             fired off endorphins that cried OUT lets get out of here get outside

Yah

Lets go

Yah

Out

     Uncontained unconnotated unconcealed uncoined  unstamped

                                                                          Guileless

Unguided

           Thru-bearing true-bearing

The only way out is through you

he laughed gayly

                   cried Tha goes for all of you Confront those who woud have you conform

Escape their coercion

                        Or

We dwindle dwindle dwindle dribble dribble dribble into a mascot tha they woud have us become

                                                                                                         because

we  allowed it

                It

Is us

IT

   he didnt identify with crisp hard sharp lines

preferred diffuse indistinct ethereal

                                      topmost edge of mountains where rock and air molecules mix mist radiation quivers mirages exist

               There    Not There

murmurs Here   Not Here

Essence   Essense

                      Absence of corporeality

But one way out

                   Thru you

639ishness,  Friday,  15  9. 06

0951,  Saturday,  14  12. 24

it is curious

to imagine

that those within

cages

may not be the criminals

outside

the cages

are convicts criminalanimals

powerful enough

to imprison Innocence

Say It

        Inside

trussed up

imprisoned

it is not impossible

to believe

liars inside

are called liars

by liars

outside

opposite side of the page is printed  May 19, 2006  Friday

1522,  reggaefriday the 13th,  Dec ‘24

Mebbe  beinannoyed is a good thing

No soliciting

Mariachi laughed

                   not the usual Mariachi  the spokesshehe heshe  whoever   they all looked alike  he believed thawas an on-purpose ploy

                             thereby he was unable to identify one from the other

anif it occurred to him it occurred to them to deport one

                                                        HOW THE FUCK WAS HE GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THA

IN GOOD CONSCIENCE

they knew they had that going for them

                                           used itdeployed it  like a cudgel

his sole retaliation dump them wholesale into his reptilian brain

                                                                      YOUSE FIGURE IT OUT

he let them their druthers  let them dole out what punishment they deemed necessary

he wasnt aware of its contours

thered be a RAP at the door

                               YO!

that they used punctuation meant they meant business

YO!

that they yelled meant business

    Yah

Were coolthings are cool

    Cool

Yah

hed lift the crypt door by its iron ring  it creeaked

                                                      if he used it a lot hed oil it

but he didnt

    Bein annoyed  A good thing

                                  We knowhave known  Knew

Wha

Tuesday morning

Yacant say

    We can

             We were being respectful

We just thought thaif you were annoyed itd distract you  youd breathe easily  Not sigh

Your sighs are hardare  difficult for us

                                         Your consistent joy humour has spoiled us

We  are sorry

               You have our deepest sympathies

Leftie intrigued us

She had you wrapped around her little finger

                                                If we hadnt witnessed tha we woudnt have thought it possible

You drive hard bargains

he had to clear the coming sigh out of his throat Thank you

                                                           I sincerely appreciate tha

Youre welcome

1221,  reggaefriday the 13th, Dec '24