SNAP

he heard it

was brushing his teethpulled it out of his mouthSTOPPED listened hard

he walked out of the bathroom up the hall into the livingroom

his wife was sitting on the sofa her back to him 

she didnt turn

Whadidya do

she didnt turn

                  Do?

Yes do

I didn’ . .

. . You did Wha

I didn’t do anything.

You did  I heard you

Whatever you heard wasn’t me.

It was it was it was she wasnt going to say    Love  I know it was

sarcastically  Love

                    You’re hearing things.

 

he heard her that eveninghe was washing dinner dishes she hadnt eaten

she was struggling for breath

he heard the ambulance he still hears it

followed it over to EMERGENCYfollowed her in on the trolley attendants at her head and feet

he heard himself I believe she overdosed

 

she had died the following evening

next afternoon he heard the pathologists knife slicebegin the Y-cut on herstumbled to the stereo played Made in Japan louder than he ever had

1414,  Twosday,  29  3. 22

Esbjorn Svennson Trio  Leucocyte III, Ad Morten  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3j-194C8pg

Deep Purple  Made in Japan  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyCyhaa5mck&list=OLAK5uy_lUXN_NbErijEFkhxAU7L06omtAnWV5Ij0

He fell on his own petard.

                           he said it as a matter of fact  frankly  convincingly

Thas not rightdoesnt sound right

                                   How do you spell it P T A R D Mebbe said tard the P in pterodactyl is silent the P in White House spokesperson Psaki is silent

Pterodactyl begins with a P?

It does ya got your phone look it up Ps silent Pterodactyl Pterosaur  

That’s a distinction without a difference.

A pterodactyl is a type of pterosaur distinction without a difference like Tennessees senator Blackburn closing remarks she preferred Judge Jackson to have made a vow to the Constitution rather than her oath

                                                                                                         Jacksons Federal oath was  I . . . do solemn swear (or affirm) that I will administer justice without respect to persons, and do equal right to the poor and to the rich, and that I will faithfully and impartially discharge and perform all the duties incumbent upon me  . . . under the Constitution and the laws of the United States. So help me God.

Why do you know that? he mumbledasked absentlyhe was already scrolling on his phone dying to prove him wrong

Been confused whether So help me God is vowing to God or if imploring Gods help  either which coud go away for all Im concerned

           But back to the matter at hand

because he was scrolling it was unlikely he heard him he couldnt do two things at once by his own admission

Spell it with a P please

irritated he looked up at him

Yare spelling it T E R O D A C T Y L arent ya

Shit.  It does begin with a P.

he didnt hang onto the fact he didnt answer his question old hat  happened too many times prior

                                                                                                        It does Imagine

Now look up petard P E T A R D  I believe hoisted with his own petard blown skyhigh  Shakespeare  Hamlet . .

. . Why would you know that?

Huge fan of Shakespeare Studied his works in college two courses

Damn . .

. . Not your dayhuh

It is hoisted.

another unanswered question it was certainly his day 

                                                          P E T A R D

P E T A R D.

Not silent P Tard like retard like Ted Cruz tard performance artist Or Cruz not a retard but a petard

You’re picking on him . . because?

Posed a hypothetical to Judge Jackson

                                         I’m an Hispanic man. Could I decide I was an Asian man? Would I have the ability to be an Asian Man and challenge Harvard’s discrimination because I made that decision?

                                                                                                       An offensive freakin Republican fishing trip  You would know had you listened to the nearly 24 hours of questioning  Soundbites don cut it

As you did.

 As I did

           Its important to see hear realise Republicans arent like Democrats  to be termed one of two American political parties is a false equivalenceYAH  so I have pent up energies to expel

1229,  Saturday,  26  3. 22

1224,  Twosday,  29  3. 22

https://interestingliterature.com/2020/07/hoist-with-his-own-petard-phrase-origins-meaning/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10645259/I-know-woman-Jackson-says-Cruz-claims-leftist-ideas-call-female.html  Cruz:  “But let me ask, under the modern leftist sensibilities, if I decide right now that I'm a woman then apparently I'm a woman. Does that mean that I would have Article 3 to challenge a gender based restriction?” 

pull-quote  Senator Doug Jones:  You're not always prepared to handle misleading questions, gotcha-type questions that are - seem to be designed more to throw red meat to a political base as opposed to just delve into your background and your experience.  https://www.npr.org/2022/03/24/1088476748/judge-jackson-faced-nearly-24-hours-of-questions-over-the-last-2-days

Republicans have turned their guns on Judge Jackson so much so as to attack her regarding violence crime murder

sentences and sex crimes  Josh Hawley hawhaw a real jackass was quoted during Judiciary proceedings (Day3)

“. . . Judge Jackson endangers our children . . .”

                                                   somehow they believe judges bear responsibility for their vague laws

laws are created by Congress 

it is extreme he thought that Republicans believe Courts and judges are at fault

                                                                                    it seemed to him that since House legislators were closest to their constituents that they would best understand their communities needs and would seek to affect those necessary provisions or protections 

    he had two words

                          Kevin McCarthy  

https://calmatters.org/justice/2021/12/kern-county-homicide-rate-gangs/   

https://kevinmccarthy.house.gov/about/our-district

1310,  Monday,  28  3. 22

2209,  Monday

War  The World is a Ghetto  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIIbT89V7EI

late getting back to the gamehe felt horrible 

                                          he felt horrible despite attending recent grief and sorrows of his own

  1,004,244

              onemillionfourthousandtwohunredfortyfour DEAD Americans

he attributed each and every one to Trump virus

                                                       he named it for the despicable human been who is in It only for himself

2252,  Monday,  28  3. 22

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

Tom Cot Ton

You know you haven’t said why you call him that?

Its wha he deserves Tom Dum Dum

he attacked Dum Dum had prior referred to his attacks so itd be ridiculous to label them otherwise it was his naming he said that the centerpiecesigh of Judge Jacksons hearings was child pornography or rather his clever slick sentences and sex crimes coud see in his face it really pleased him a real zinger

                                                                        “Do you really, do you really expect this committee to believe you do not remember what happened in this Hawkins case when it came back before you?”by this point he was talking over Judge Jackson answer who replied “Yes senator, I do expect you to believe . .”Dum Dum interrupted “Well, I don’t find it credible, judge, it’s been in the news for days, I just don’t find it credible that you were prepared for that matter in 2019. You know what I think? I think you got caught with child pornography again and you wouldn’t have been if (Wesley Hawkins) had been in prison (according) to the eight to 10 year guideline that was called for in 2013. (from 8:12:30 to 8:12:59 on the recording)”

“You know what I think?”

                           safe to say everyone knew what Dum Dum thought when he named Judge Jacksons Judiciary hearing centerpiece sentences and sex crimes an called her a liar albeit I don’t find (you) credible who is he to cast aspersionsquestion the judges honesty integrity  veracity

he thought I coud puke   

1710,  Monday,  28  3. 22

2100,  Monday

Day 3  Judiciary confirmation hearing for Kentanji Brown Jackson  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwYTg4JyI5k

Kentaji Brown Jackson repeatedly told her questioners that judgment cannot be decided by single facet that no one thing can override all the other legal factors and considerations that require evaluation 

                                                                                     “Lack of proportionality can never by itself prove dilution, for courts must always carefully and searchingly review the totality of the circumstances. (an anonymous Supreme Court per curiam opinion)”  https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/21pdf/21a471_097c.pdf

That’s a mighty nice way of thinking of things, that yours or did you hear it elsewhere someone else say it?

Ya kiddin me  I always give credit where credits due  Its wha I saidthink  Wha I believe

It’s amazing.

Nah cant say I agree Seems so much common sense to me

                                                              When you give a thought to our appetitesall the ideas details personalities circumstances theyre difficult to keep track of sorted Like yourself Id like to be able to cite chapter an verse who said it wrote it when but I you we consume too much When push comes to shove I can ferretfind it out  eventually  but in the moment other than knowing it to be true I often stumble 

                                                                                   But as I said we understand the contours the colours so while precise details might allude us their premises do not anperhaps while they are pale or pastel to begin withwere just learning them the more we learn the deeper more vivid the colours the subject matter becomes

That’s it! Righteous.

                      Have you written that down yet?

No I really don have to Ive thought this way a long time Reflex now

You ought to write it down and then email it to me . . I’ll forget . you know me.

Really Yare a photographer keen of lighting colours I think its right up your alley  Ya wont forget

You know me better than that.

Yare not gonna try

Please . . just email it to me would you.

     he did  hed say to his chagrin   but he forgot where he put it

1229,  Saturday,  26  3. 22

1159,  Monday,  28  3. 22

he was almost done listening to all the hours of questions and Judge Ketanji Brown Jacksons testimony during Senate Judicial Committees Supreme Court hearing

Republicans have a thing about child pornography religion race    Court precedent

they were absolutely shrill regarding the judges sentencing in pornography cases  SHRILL that since 2019 child pornography on computers have risen exponentially  asif it were her fault that Congress wasnt keeping pace

the thingComon  with all the discussion of factors weighed

                                                                 weigh common sense   

it had bare bone explanations for the exponential rise since 2019

Trump virus

adults working from home on computers

children schooled at home on computers

                                           depression rose  suicides rose  alcohol and drug use rose

struck him too  Opportunity rose

horribly  common sense points its finger

                                              he couldnt be the only one seeing it

1653,  Sunday,  27  3. 22

1014,  Monday,  28  3. 22

Come on now, it’s said people only use ten percent of their brai . .

. . Ridiculous  Fallacy Myth   Improbable

Bam bam bam just like that, pretty abrupt.

Missed a BAM  Exactly like that

You don’t seem to care that others believ . .

. . Ignorance

              All they need do is look in a mirror

If we only used ten percent of our brains then we would have evolvedbeen fashioned into pinheads with scarcely shit needing to be protected a bone cap on top the reptilian brain However our skulls are larger in order to encompass an protect our brains with a bone helmet

You give no cred . .

. . Sorry to interrupt again  Myth  Zero credence  no more than I would believe in myths of religion

Where were you going with your argument

    he sighed

                 I don’t remember  What were we talking about prior?

Possibly though difficult to believe considering what proceeded thereafter I believe it was the dimensionality of the brain

      You seemed very attracted to the term dimensionality  like you were looking at a Playboy centerfold  Anif thas the case why did you argue ten percent in light of brain dimensionality  Tryin to pick a fight a battle of wits   Please half the time ya cant recall a large percent of wha yave just said

he twisted in the wind  no reply 

Thursday afternoon,  24  3. 22

1625,  Sunday,  27  3. 22

A cunning pensee

    Sez you!

linguist

quick with their tongue

thrusts and parries entertained

in bright daylight or quiet night

tasty cunt, pursed anus

1300,  Sunday,  27  3. 22

Whellshit crept into his brain he saw over the top of his book

                                                                he walkedread up on an old sunfaded blue Buick idling in the parking lot 

the driver an older gentleman sat ramrod straight apparently waiting

Romans 5:8 occurred to him

God helps those who help themselves.

gentleman was certainly helping himself to more than his fair share of gas atmosphere abundant ignorance 

hed rap on his window ask him to kill the car rather than idle whiling away his time

why was he given to this thinkingwhy Romans things from Church still stuck in his crawhis brain

the license plate number

                          6 E J S 4 4 5  smacked of J E S U S code 

                                                                             clever old man

he rapped a knuckle on the driver side window

rosary dangling from the rear mirror trembled

old man kept facing forwardstraight ahead

ignored him

I usually keep to myself  he said into the side of his face  but your conspicuous consumption smells  Yaoughta turn the engine off while waiting 

                         then he kept walking returned to his book essays  James Baldwins Price of the Ticket

he didnt walk 33 feet when the old man revved the Buicks engine

he kept walkingreading

took the book in his left

flipped him off with his right

if the old man came after him he had parked cars to either side

wouldnt rundown a pedestrian today

walkingreading didnt mean he wasnt keenly aware of his surrounding

approximately 1415,  Saturday,  26  3. 22

1201,  Sunday,  27  3. 22

it irritated himdrove him nuts

                              a buddy could manipulate his dreamscalled lucid dreaming he was always getting laid seducedseducing getting head gobbling pussy after eating her alive hed crack her bones suck her marrow

WHY NOT HIM?                        

Patience I keep telling ya its a process Ive been at it since I was a kid longbefore  foreverbefore I ever heard lucid dreaming

Dreamer related the very first thing he had to have was a journal he was committed to recording his dreams or whatever he remembered of them in COMMITTED Aint that don bother

                                                                 second was preparation whatever trick hed use to enter dreaming it could be sound or scentany comfort that helped him relax his mind helped lull him to sleep into dreams

last a scenario the individual he wished to pursue

hed try

             trying was irritatingfrustrating the hell out of him

Breathe Be patient

    he tried

                  manymany  many nights

he was rewarded with glimpses he wrote them in his journal

glimpses eventually became modest glimmerings promising constructs

 

  then

        Awman, at long last . .

. . STOPsorry gotta interrupt a thing I do whenever I hear or read At long last  bear with me  Joyce  end of Finnegins Wake he closed his eyesrecited A way a lone a last a loved a long then the beginning riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodious vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

he thought Dreamer was strange

                                          Okay?

Yes Thank you   Joyce mesmerises me

  Okay.    As I was saying at long last  I finallywell nearly . . actually I think I did . . I got laid in my drea . .

. . Congratulations! Whahappened   Aint like kiss an tell

No, he laughed I suppose it’s not.

                                    but as he told him the dream dissembled crumbled his recall stumbled 

threw him a rope Were you between her legs 

Yes, I’m pretty sure. 

                      Were you thrusting

I was . I think I was

                      Did you feel your orgasm rising

I was real hard but I don’tcan’t say . . that I came. 

                                                      Lets say you did

You think?

            I think when yare sliding into Home Home aint moving

Strange way of looking at it.

                              Yare welcome to whatever analogy ya wish I was just saying saying to comfort him

I think I had sex with her.

                             an admission rarely heard or said he didnt say  Dreamer smiled  he would sayhed say because laughter is the best medicine an he could see his thinking so was diminishing the possibility he dreamed sex fraying

Yaknow wha thawas doncha

he was looking grim features once flushed with elation darkening

What that was?

                No.   What was that?

he chucked him in the shoulder smiled broadly 

he couldnt himself he returned the toothy grin

                                                 What? he chuckled

I think you got a pity fuck  A dreamed pity . .

. . FUCK YOU!

              then he howled  Dreamer joined in

1345,  Saturday,  26  3. 22

1034,  Sunday,  27  3. 22

she was a free spirit  decisive  wayout ahead of things when marijuana was legalised coudsay she cornered the market locals were true blue to her 

                                     a fiercely independent spirit

I thought you would have known.

How woud I know

Your daughter.

You palled around with my daughter

Yeah . . well . maybe not palled . . maybe, not . . . but we were friends . I slept overnight at your apartment for a birthday party, we pulled some antics together.  I may have been a little too nuts for her. I was Aggie she was athlete, but we definitely shared some attributes.

thats how they got acquainted

                               then randomly they ran into each other then successively more and more frequent like the Fates or Gawd made them happen

their joke You stalking me?

she was definitely stalkable

                               drove a Mercedes-Benz Sprinter cargo van Gunbarrel gray. her colour description   Not unpolished silver   No. Gunbarrel gray.

                                          unmistakable around town

                                                                        which was probably what he honed in on had to see her in it behind the wheel more than a few times before he recognised her outside of itbefore he thought it wouldnt be untoward or inappropriate to approach her  Friends

Aw, you want to be my friend.  she teased

                                                Truth be known.

Truth be known

Maybe someday, maybe . . maybe like her friendship with his daughter But in the meantime let’s enjoy our encounters.

it made him curious in the moment

                                    but he tucked it awayrelegated to that once upon a time memory 

 

he was sitting outside a coffee shop a couple of towns over taking fresh air reading writing a letter to his father

a shadow fell across his hand pen and paper 

                                                 Hello, stranger.

he looked upthrew a hand up as visor to block the sun out of his eyes

                                                                          Ohwow Mel Whacha doin in these parts

Had a delivery, picked up some vials for CBD oil, other product.

hadnt seen her in spaghetti straps khakigreen ribbed scoopedneck he was almost amazed he didnt have to clear his throat before he spoke

                  We got to quit meeting like this

We do.

        When should we meetdon’t you think?

a highpitched squeal happened in his ears like hed gone deafthen a rush that he hoped it hadnt shone in his face

                                                                                                                Man wish I had something clever to say ya caught me offguard

she tilted her head like a pup fuckin cute anyways  like she heard his silent squeal whistle You haven’t given it a thought?

No Ive thought  thought it over an over  Didnt think to sa . .

. . Wouldn’t be appropriate?

Yare a big girl anything we entertained woudbe appropriate

                                                                We have an obvious attraction  I preferred obviously  not to risk our friendship or tread on your kindnesswe really havent had time to address mention  other relationships

Are you in a relation?

I am not you

I am not.

Blow me down

Ive been thinkinbout it.  a deliciously wicked smile simmered on her face

                                                                             What are you doing right now?

Not a thing I wont stop

So stop follow me. she began walking

                                        over her shoulder I saw you from across the parkwaythought it might be you . . took a chance.

her Mercedes-Benz was ahead

she slid open the side door

he hopped inside she followed sliding the door shut behind her they could standup in it

Ive not been inside one of these its amazing  he squatted down for a fauxseated perspective like Sistine Chapel baby

Crazy huh?check this out.

                            she stepped towards the rear leaned over ass in his face made some upper body movements at somethinghe didnt see her ass in his face  There. she turnedher ass wasnt in his face shed made a bed sat down on its edge elbows on her knees 

                                 Wanna get high?

I do an Im not apologising or excusing myself for looking at your tits 

Tits.

Tits

I’m glad you said titsyou’d’ve tipped me if you said breasts.

Nice tits

Thank you. she grinned  That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.

Ive not seen you dressed for summer the heat before we havent seen each other summertime before

We have.

  Have  When

After graduation, a bunch of us were poolhopping, beat the heat, we stopped at your complex, you happened to be there swimming . . your daughter always talked about you swimming . we jumped in to disrupt youseriously . then we began a game of Marco Polo . . . I invited you to play with us.

I played ofcourse

You did. You captured me more than several times.

                                                       Truth be known.  Mel didnt sit backshe let him feast

Yave said that before I remember

You have.  Good memory.

An

Truth is . . . Ive wanted to sleep with you then

    truth is

               they didnt sleep

1530,  Thursday,  24  3. 22

1558,  Saturday,  26  3. 22