January 6

he thought if he could hide among the wolves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c28DS9SVWH8

     a brave admission 

                            but hes a Democrat  Minnesota Representative Dean Phillips

                                                                                             2345,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

Rashida Tlaib   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRkzF3RKNP8 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah9uOqVW96o 

  

 

199 greene bottles of beer on the wall 199 bottles of beer

Take one down pass it around 

198 bottles of the beer on the wall 

he has no idea who would drink that swill

1052,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

Andy Kaufman made me do it

 

he reallyreally enjoyed topsy turvy sex  on occasion might have been a little loud bellicose over the topmebbe overboard but reigning in his enthusiasm was like bridling a wild animaldenying it its particular ways and nature  

                                                                                                                    however a particularly surly old man who kept a basement room in the boardinghouse did not like either his enthusiasm or the young women he entertained 

they never made a production on their way up to his third floor room he escorted them up the marvelous beautifullyornate staircase 

                             Once upon a time it had been a manse

in that neck of the woods only the Church could ever afford to erect such a structure might have made some want to consider blowing off womens and commit to preaching the Gospel 

      not him

               though not that he couldnt see the other side of the cointhe argument aint getting laid might as well live well enjoined with the affections of your flock

speaking for himself hed rather have sex with certain members of the flock 

if the old man happened to be in the parlour when he entered with a guest he couldnt seem to refrain or manage or mind his Ps and Qs rather than sittintight quiet hed get up off his ass and accost themaccuse them of Fornication! Sin!  who talks like that Surely God will ruin of them, bring their Ruin down upon them. Why must you taint me and many others, infect us, who also live in this house? 

he stared into the man rheumy waterblue eyes Because I pay my way exactly as you do  anyer the only person in this house who ever bitches 

                       Stay out of my business he might have said to the old man but he did not stay out of my business an keep yers to yerself

I speak because God sides with me.

Lotsa fools think Gawds in their corner But take that up with someone who buys into Gawd If Gawd then why is this a boardinghouse 

                 they were already on the landing and heading to the next flight of steps that hid them from the parlour

the old man said something

they were heading onto something betterto do something much muchbetter 

some more noise carried up the staircase from the parlour

it was just noise to them

he didnt hear the old man proclaim he was Gods instrument 

he didnt hear his days were numbered

Is he always like that? she asked He strikes me as deranged. What is he capable of?

Capable

Yes, capable, is he dangerous?

I think hes more a danger to himself than others Ive lived here bout six monthsalmost six months and apparently Im the only person who drives his discontent

The only person?

Well me and who Im with such as yourself  

How many times?

Oh couplethree times a month mebbe a couple of months more It always occurs in the parlour

He’s never confronted you elsewhere?

He has a room in the cellar Ive mine here  Were a long way apart

I think he could be dangerous. Just now he seemed unhinged.

he gently pushed her against the wall took her by the shoulders and kissed her  

then he pulled her to him embraced her and whispered into her ear Yawanna see unhinged

she giggled Where am I looking?

Right here  forking his fingers he pointed to his eyes

Oh  my  Yes, you’re right.  Unhinged, and danger . .

                                                         she didnt speak for a long while after that

 

      night fell

                 he rolled off the side of the bed and slipped on his pants over his nakedness  Excuse me  I have to use the water closet

Oh, I do too. she rolled out of bed and grabbed his shirt off the back of a chair I'll be real fast; can you keep? 

Yah If not I got a mug here in the bedstand

I'll be back real quick. she said as she went past him to the door giving him a lightningfast kiss on the cheek We can pick up where we left off.

And that was where he smiled

I’ll think about it and be right back.

she opened the door peeked into the hall one way then the other Nobody. I’ll be back in a flash.

Thank you though I prefer you flash me

the door closed silently behind her he couldnt hear her going down the hall

                                                                               he was distracted by his bladder he opened the bedside cabinethe had to go more than he thought and removed the porcelain thunder mug  

urinating loudly he mumbled Put a head on it willya  and laughed 

                                                                     he thought he heard something in the hall above his urinating he stopped listened  nothing  he finished

                                                       finishing he thought he heard something again

he set the mug down on the stand buttoned his pants up picked it up again and went out the door

something a shuffle 

                     down near the water closet Daphne he said as he walk down the hall outside the closed door DAPHNE he heard something DAPHNE he tried the doorit was locked looking up on the opened transom he saw a reflection on its glass lighted by the full moon he took one step backlowered his shoulderslammed into the door the jamb splitsplintered the door swung in the heavy mug brokeurine showereda figure rushed himhe saw Daphne on the floorhe saw bloodsaw a glint off a blade as the figure slashed him 

                                                                     bringing his left up he caught the blade on his forearm it cut down to his elbow still holding the smashed mug by its handlea jagged side remaining he smashed it into the figures facestanding him uprightrepeatedly pummeled him with itnot letting him fall 

                                                                                       he heard screams behind him womens mens then hands grappling himpulling him backthe assailant falling awayover backwards on top of Daphne blood spattered everywhere they pulled him down into the hall

then noisessounds became words Stop! Stop, man! My God! mens words women screaming

      Once upon a time it had been a manse 

                                                 the story told now was of a crazy old man who lived in the cellar

who murdered a young woman in an upstairs water closet

the womans amor killed the old man with broken thunder mug

the story never mentions their names

people arent interested in names

just the horrible story

 

an attraction

             the boardinghouse never lacks tenants

 

1213 or 0013,  Twosday,  2  2. 21

1102,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

 

452,000 Americans dead from Trump virus

2306,  Dya-between-Two-Ts,  3  2. 21

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/it-s-the-same-disease-same-safety-measures-apply-to-coronavirus-variants-cdc-director-100504645636

he wrestled with this notion

                            he would have liked to flip the sexes aroundover onto their heads  but he couldnt make it work for an obvious reason

You have a special place in my heart.

I do

Yes.

Then mebbe ya got other special places for me too 

probably a non-starter a no-go  nada nada    Nada 

                                                         unless

  

                                                                    unless it was true

who knows what lurks in the heart of women  The Shadow knows

he was no Shadow he didnt have a clue

                                           yah he took the quote out of context  he was tryin to be benevolent tryin to widen the lanethe alley of  possibilities

he was a firm believer in that what itched and needed to be scratched by men also needed to be scratched by women

an affirmed believer 

Well I never . .  

Doncha think its about time yadid 

                                  Yer car yer drivin  Take me some place  a ramshackle motel yaknow a motel kinda like a freakin cathedral  rather than steeped in abject faith solemnity forgiveness of sins decades of sorrow a seedy motel steeped in funk an the ardor of sex  of shuttering sighsheaving breaths an breasts  steeped in a hotbox sweat of passionthe suffocating thrill of extramarital climaxes or prosties suckin an fuckin in n' out ten minuteTOPS   lurid expectations  lust 

                   damnin the consequencesprickly consequences part of thrill

lipstick on collars

Billy or Betty picked up late from school

Bobby cumming for the first time handjob head  hoarsely Do my pussy good, stud

                                                                                    a motel that wouldnt have made it from one generation to the next without an abundance of lube rubbers sex toys  and irrevocable Passion

church for kneelin prayin sermonisin an death 

motel for kneelin sweat an semen wet AwFuck!  an livin 

I donknow of any motels like that. 

Awright 

         Pull over in a secluded spot  Well makeout in the car like teenagers 

Yamember

I domember.

Told me I had the sweetest cock

You told me I had the sweetest pussy. 

                                        they burst out laughing  they hadnt had any others

they lost their virginity together

nothing possibly could cumpare

 

2358,  Monday,  1  2. 21

1203 or 0003,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  2. 21

Kinks  Lola  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGdqCtX4VCM 

 

  anile 

               he couldnt remember now how he  stumbled   upon the wordstubbed his toehad to look it up   adjective of or resembling a doddering old woman

he had to admit that anile sounded better than dotard  albeit it a noun  from dotage  meaning a state or period of senile anile decay  marked by a decline of mental acuity and alertness 

                                                                            Jesus   sounding trembling terriblyclose to  retard

not nice language  disparaging old people hed met some sharp cookies in his life and sending them spinning off after their dictionaries and Goddammit! What the hell!  if they can remember where they put it 

                                                                                          leaving them to defend themselves against a juvenile  Oh yeah?   Yeah   OH yeah?   Yeah  Oh Yeah.  YEAH     What are we talking about? 

Fuggitaboutit

 

weird the shit that entertained himthat cropped up in his beaker before bed it was that free-range organic aspect of him that kickedup its heels when he was tired

anile struck him out of the blue he usually liked out of the blue and fat in his lap he played with it like Silly Putty   There   he played with it up against annihilation   No not quite    howbout  anile elation 

                                                                                     annihilations of a sort

anile

senile

juvenile

agile

-ile  suffix

              suffix  prefix  are affixes   word parts attached to ends and beginnings of words  word bases – a word stripped to its simplest form 

                              getting afield here tired third kind of affix is infix whod thought inserting into a word or word base  s  cupsful   swear words  bet-yer-fuckin-ass

                                                                    wandering to bed

mebbe hed dream

                    he promised hed try dream of a moose of bones eating dirt and rocks that fell out through the spaces in his skull or a swimming manatee of bones   hed try all he had to do was visualise when he laid down in bed

 

Sonofabitch he woke  he didnt dream period pieceshe dreamt a period piece late nineteenth century a park and gardens fountains stone animals close a man with a top hat and stout wood cane accusing him of trying to seduce his wife

unwisely he said I dont try   And I did not

I think he murdered me

Or I may have killed him

I heard someone scream Murder! 

                                   an either I was walking away or something-less-than-me was walking away 

he supposed anile elation annihilation followed him in   

1927,  Thursday,  21  1. 21

1326, Twosday,  2  2. 21

Jesus Wha a mout 

                     itd been awhile since hed been was scoldeddressed downridden roughshod over  by a squirrel  and this was one salty squirrel

salty

his mother used to accuse him of using salty language when did she hangout with sailors You were educated better than that, you know better.  Yah yup  but like art once you learn the basics you experiment Hence Picassos Blue Period his Cubism Modernism  Abstracts 

                                 If you prefer we could call my language abstract

she harrumphed him 

                      salty and harrumphed in one conversation  made him wonder what he could chuck on top that to make a triple scoop  give him some time   his mother inspired him 

                                                                          sex  itd be sex   sex really pulled her chain

widhis father it was evident from the getgo race 

                                                   there was an article from the Smithsonian that threw coldwater on any argument once and for all  humankinds birthplace was Africa

he Xeroxed a couple dozen copies of it

on its naked reverse side he wrote letters to his father it was something he did when writing his parents so his arguments usually against their positions had proof or evidence confirmed on his letters reverse side

he thought he was clever

                           If yawanna rebut me make damn sure youve read the other side of my letter Im not talking off the top of my head

they typically thought he was because they did 

                                                   I donwanna read your opinions  Opinions aint fact

they and he had grown up under the tenacious Chicago Public School system 

hell he suffered corporal punishment until it was finally overruled when he was in fourth grade

if someone thought Chicago neighbourhoods were tough they wouldntve wanted to tangle with teachers in their classrooms 

             wasnt one spoiled child  wasnt one spared rod 

Joe. You really have to stop sending letters to your father with the mother-of-all-mankind-is-black article on its reverse side. He’s not humoured.

Im humoured 

               Im humoured inside out that he hasnt a leg to stand on for his prejudice

His father did him no favors regarding Negroes.

Hes not his father Hes not accountable to the sins of his father 

                                                                   Deuteronomy Twentyfour Sixteen  Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sins.  Old Testament was mighty abrupt  Devarim  The fifth book of the Jewish Torah  Judaism preceded the Christian faith

Thought I didnt pay attention during my Communion classes  

Yahave no idea how many times I had to kneel on broomsticks for my perceived slights and indiscretions

The words are fuckin grievous but they certainly strike homemake my point He doesnt have to pick on niggersas he says because his upbringing afforded him better Hes never stopped a moment to walk in their shoes

 

the squirrel scolded him from a desperately leaning digger pine

digger pines leaned a longlong time before they finally fell over on their faces like drunken sailors

he didnt know how he crossed this little prick 

                                                but in the back of his mind  stopped  taking its umbrage  he thought itd be perfect if the pine fell over and the squirrel had to ride it down like Slim Pickens did as Major T. J. “King” Kong atop a nuclear bomb in Dr Strangelove           

one can only wish

 

he realised that the squirrels spite would outlast his patience without him knowing the reason why

                                                                                                         so he moseyed off letting the lil bugger celebrate its perceived victory and undiluted spleen

1432,  Sunday,  31  1. 21

1403,  Monday, 1  2. 21

Lovin’ Spoonful  Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txTEhgReZUA 

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-africa-became-the-cradle-of-humankind-108875040/ 

Major T. J. “King” Kong  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBvA1oKVruE 

 

Whoa  shes stacked

Where’d that come from?

Wha

What are you, thirteen? I think that’s when stacked went out of vogue.

Vogue

Fashion, style, for a particular time.

Lemme think 

                 Ah    I aint dead  A particular time stills tickin

Dating yoursel . .

. . Like I give a fuck

Touhe.

       And if I can, do you understand the groundwork, why, you don’t give a fuck? because for as long as I’ve known you, you have unabashedly not given a fuck.

A trailblazer who critiques me for using stacked 

                                                  An she was  Indubitably

I had a gentleman on my paper route out of vogue who told me that respect was a two way street You’re told to respect your elders he said I was Why?  Respect  he said nothing  Because my parents told me to  That’s not an answer he said  Let me ask you, what if your elder doesn’t respect you?  he hadnt an answer  Shouldn’t respect go both ways?  That makes sense  Doesn’t it?  It does 

                                           Since like I give a fuck I cant tell you all the times people older than me expected my respect without demonstrating why I should respect them 

Respect is earned It isnt blindly given

But you know that

Weve been hanging out since you rambled round in my brain and finally came out

Came out. Many have come out.

If I could come out of the closet 

Jesus. Not looking to make friends of us, are you?

Yare aspects of me 

                     Yasit on my shoulders bellachin in my ears peer through keyholes outraged when I offend youse  Whas funny Yaint gonna get punched in damout yaint gonna be chastised  Yet time and time again ya act butthurt An mope

Yall attached yer wagon to a rocky run

Methinks yerall adrenaline junkies

Love the highs hate the lows

 

Nuthin

I can’t speak for everyone. The congregation has to . .

. . Convene

             Convenient

Things aint changing

She was stacked

Deal wid it

            My hearts still poundin

1216 or 0016,  Monday,  1  2. 21

Big Spender  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG3VfKlfDEk

  

on this stretch of road he rarely looked up out of his book

                                                            an easy decline a broad even sidewalk hed walked more times than he could count over nearly ten years

something eerie bade him to lookup 

                                      when baded or is that baited he looked  he wished he ignored himself

lookingup looking above the stark pikes that made up a black metal fence that surrounded the junior high he saw that the old trees that had been pruned their limbs cut back they looked like dumb fingers amputated fingers pointing at the sky

   he thought of all the athletes who pointed who obviously believed that Gawd favoured them celebrated their home run touchdown goal winning their event 

                                         Man if he could have those fingers cut off hed feel better about the trimmed trees

nobody wanted a tree to kill a child

nobody wanted a tree to frighten a child

he wasnt nobody

younger trees to either side of the elders were untouched

they had birds flitting in their boughs

there wasnt one bird in any of the seven amputated trees that ran before the concrete patio and walk before the standalone school gymnasium 

he wasnt nobody

he was harsher than most

but only because accountability preferably to punish wrongdoers  who werentbeing punished must also endure lost innocents

         must risk murderous trees someone must have heard the wicked plots mused among the trees

he supposed he ought to be happy they only suffered amputation they could have been cut down

when trees in this town were cut down they were not replaced 

when people are cut down  several replace them 

seemed imbalanced  to him

seemed particular human species always won out when considered against other earthlings and the planet  considering First People genocide black people genocide get-on-the-wrong-side-of-white-people genocide 

just an observation

try as he may 

              he looked  he couldnt find the name of one person murdered by a tree

names of people murdered by people

unknown people murdered by people 

Come on people take the cake

just an observation

2314,  Sunday,  31  1. 21

 

hed been circled before

first time reared goosebumps of fear on his flesh

but that was reinforced by the element he was in  water

had he gills to remain immersed in the shimmer he had a knifeGame on! queer thing of the sea was there was nowhere to go except down to the bottom to find a place where he could put his back against something and make the circler come on him face to face

in open water he was deadcenter of a surrounding sphere of attacksa frightening myriad of radii to defend 

                                                                                                                an obscenely awkward inability or agility to affect a stalwart defence 

after that first time that first shark that fish passing him by after all it was just a fish he recognised that their similar size had made them equals and therefore likely the shark circling him like humans wishing they could circle a traffic accident to gawk  was curious

he was curious

curiosity ought be the nature of any beast 

                                             unfortunately hed met too many people who werent 

apparently the work was too hard

 

 

he rushed headlong from a grotto that was collapsing around himfilling with seawater from overhead slurring suddenvents and spitting holes  

it terrified himhis heart thumping violently in his chest that this sparkling refracted bluewashed architecture  its teeth stalagmites and stalactites stalactitties yes were forever to be lost 

                                                                  he dragged his feetturned in circles trying to take in remember as much as he could while he fled and spun on the white sand before its depressed mouth and spun into the sea swimming hard trying to put as much distance between himself and it as it boiled and crumbled underwater fearful a siphon a whirlpool might birth

it did not 

treading water open water he saw he was being circled circled by a shadow beneath the waves that was twicethree times larger than he 

                           curious

he was

he took a deep breath and slipped under the surface

circling him was an exquisitelydrawn painted silveredblue largeeyed flyingfish a stylised Ohno Bakufu though alive and threedimensional 

it circled him gazed at him one eyethen reversing its way the other  

it was a fish he didnt know how to read it 

                                              then reversing again having circled him several times it dipped a pectoral fin and came headlong at him in its rush it slowed itself by extending both set of fins extending its pelvic fins it swept down he tucked up then taking a chance he reached down and grasped its pectorals where they joined its body and swung upput a foot to its pelvis fin and straddled its back 

                                                             ahold of the leading edge of its pectorals it instantaneous folded its fins and bolted on a long angle racing to the surface

they exploded through crazedbubbles whitesilver and cyclonic tinyswirls its tail churning and catapulted into the sky were he sucked breath it caught blue updrafts the wind of their propulsion screamed in his ears 

its tail whipped the sea and they went up again and again many times they reentered the water he heard it gulpbtreathe then they were up again 

his shoulders joints criedthough he couldnt imagine that the flyingfish wasnt suffering either its subsequent jumps and flights were growing shorter and shorter but there seemed it had a purpose 

                                                                                a threedimensionally executed flyfishing had a purpose

he heard a grunt

it dove again 

the grunt persisted 

it lunged again

broke the surface

it soared higher than it had before

and looking he saw a green coastline whitelipped by beach

the fish bankedlosing some altitude

                                      he screamed I SEE

and when they reentered the sea it collapsed its wings and slowed  and slowe d   and   s l  o  w   e   d

when he let go as he slipped off he ran its hands lovingly down its back to its stilled tail

it wiggled a bit under his touch

swimming up to the surface he watched it sink into the bluedpurpling depths a blur a smudge   then disappeared

 

he rolled over onto his back and looked and the yellow sun and occasionally spat water like a whales spout

                                                                                                                  fearless 

he had been touched                                         

nothing dare accost him

the surf grew louder  and   louder

his ears underwater he could hear the sand particles grate and dance and sing welcome

 

he staggered onto the beachstaggered up to the dry warm sand and laid down laid down on his Mothers breast

impossibly saved

  

some time in the wee hours,  Sunday,  31  1. 21

1626,  Sunday,  31  1. 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8Ady7ySayI