$240K -- Killed

“ . . . it appears (the president) has not moved past the denial phase of the grieving process ” reported by CNNs Boris Sanchez 9:39 minute-mark : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3KUVrt3mII   

Get in line fat boy 

                    240K Americans have died and their family and friends have had to contend with their grieving 

1944,  Twosday,  10  11. 20

The White Stripes  Effect & Cause  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzWckYfZhbA  thanks, babe 

in jail he walked a long rectangle one way several times then reversed himselfwalked in the opposite direction in the huge common room on a wide aisle between cafeteria tables at its center and bunkbeds on three walls their heads pushed up against the walls

in jail everything was pushed 

                              pushed by white guards who made their bread bullying a majority black and brown men

he was one of the few whites the other whites werent his measure so he was careful

                                                                                         his wing had been busted he was still healing 

fortunately he wasnt going to be in long he had a zealous county prosecutor but other legal partisans disagreed he should be jailed at all so he kept to himself and walked and read as he walked miles and miles around that room  a few men took up with him though not reading 

                                                concurring  If I did that I’d trip and kill myself.  

the first to follow him were the ones he gave his desserts

he didnt eat dessert 

                    as it was he was having a hard time finding food in the meal trays they were given  he supposed the kitchen or acquisitions believed crappy food was part of their punishment  guys whose families could afford it bought foodstuff through a profit-driven commissaryChrist  theres profit and then theres being ripped-off                                                                                                                                Got no choice, man. 

food they bought seemed to him comfort food  akin to packaged food they were raised on  unfortunately they were from poor neighbourhoods where food deserts were rife

an old adage tickled him while he was in  because it wasnt true

                                                                   You don’t know what you got until it’s gone.

what he had he still had  it was only absent

 

he befriended no one 

                     but as he was leaving a few of the guys said theyd miss him  fuck if theyd keep walking in circles  but theyd miss his desserts

saying it like it is

 

that he was going to miss

2109 or 909,  Sunday,  8  11. 20

1149,  Monday,  9  11. 20

https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/news/2018/aug/4/prison-food-and-commissary-services-recipe-disaster/ 

 

two things occurred to him 

                             anwhenever something occurred to him he was tickled  they were usually unusual things that made some people scratch their heads as and after he related what he thought

You know some of them said in the future you ought to keep that to yourself.

Ya think thats odd

theyd nod

They aint Ill tell ya wha I know Im not the first to have thought it Think of all the fools and smarties that have preceded us in life 

          I aint the first an I wont be the last 

they nodded 

              You keep telling yourself that, man, imagine its comforting.

his turn to nod 

                Thankye I will

 

the first thing to occur to him that night as he bedded downmade sure the electric blanket was On set to 4 supposed to be a hard frost was  who needed a gravity blanketwha a gimmick 

                                                                      he had cats five to be precise and on cold evenings such as thishe left windows opened throughout the house often a couple beat him to bed as he headed off down the hall calling Knockin out now time to sleep Goodnight sweethearts he gave up long ago looking for them individually to wish them good night he had no idea where they hid an it was a small house

rather than an inert gravity blanket get cats or Heavens to Betsy a couple dogshe wasnt a fan because once the all the cats gathered and slept to his sidebetween his legs on them he was laying under a gravity blanket all he needed was a gag cuz he was certainly bound

that was the first 

                   the second was when waking at night to change positions or hit the head that he was considerate of his felines sometimes if it was to shift position rather than do so he accommodated them he was a fan of the hypnagogic state it was a drug hed close his eyes watch the stage show fall back to sleep 

                                                                                                 ofcourse if he had to take a leak anhe was always grateful to his body or bladder for waking him rather than going off and let him wake in the morning to find he pissed himself if he had to take a leak he announced it to his cats and slipped up the bed out from under them leaving them somewhat unmolested 

                                                    usually two or three didnt wakebudge

because he accommodated them he wondered if dog owners accommodated their dogshe didnt think so it was a certain breed that owned dogs to be fair as the breed who cared for cats  if one had a cat they certainly didnt own it

Certainement

 

back in bed it got crazy 

                       rather she was crazy she grabbed his arm I’m happy you’re a awake, I’ll be right back. she scrambled out of bed

when she returned to the bedroom she was giggling up a stormterribly pleased with herself 

Whacha doin

she climbed into bedkissed him she tasted sweet 

                                                    Im hungry for a go at a sixtynine. she giggled  Me on top.  though he couldnt see her in the dark he was sure she blushed it was unlike hershe tended to be shy at sixtynine and giggling she yanked the covers down and flipped around and got on top of himshe was quick at his cock 

                                                                                                     taking her by the hip to pull her lips to his mouth suddensomething like flowerpollen fell on his face Wha the hell and for opening his mouth to speak some pollen fell in it 

                           she tasted sweet she smelled sweet she had gone into the kitchen and dusted herself with powdered sugar  she was like eating a fresh sweet jelly Bismarck 

                                                                               like one from the San Jose bakery

 

 

thats what accommodating his cats bought him that night 

                                                           swirling white dots against a shifting blackscreen the back of his eyelids then it relentinggiving way to an erotic dream

 

yet another reasonhe dare suggest to care for pussycats

 

69 earlier in the week, then 0215 & 0222,  Reggae Friday,  6  11. 20

1439,  Monday,  9  11. 20

“Where are the doors?” 

                      a very disturbing question hed never heard before   Where are the doors

 

it appeared to be a facility  inmates people   inside of cells

cells have doors

there were no doors  they disappearedwere absorbed by the walls absorbed by the bars  there werent anythey were nonexistent

a groan in the pit of his stomach 

                                he tried to imagine being confined to space  a meat space he borrowed the term from China Miéville from which there was no escape 

confined inside a cube 

imagine 

         the 

              despair 

the 

    hopelessness

or maybe the last thing we need are doors

 

1251 or 0051,  Moanday, eve of Drumpfs dismissal,  21  1. 20

1359,  Sunnyday,  8  11. 20

$238K -- Killed

   for the fourth consecutive day America has broken its single-day record for new Trump virus cases 134,000 testing positive 

         1100 American deaths Saturday

the president wont conceded these facts any more than hell concede his electoral defeat

1619,  Sunday,  8  11. 20

        on 20 January 2021 President O’Biden plans to sign a flurry of executive orders

some will be rejoining the Paris climate accord; reverse Drumpfs withdrawal from the World Health Organisation; repeal the ban on almost all travel from some Muslim-majority countries; reinstate the program allowing “dreamers” to remain in-country; reverse Drumpfs rollback on 100 public health and environmental rules the Obama administration had in place; institute new ethnic guidelines at the White House; sign an order saying that no member of his administration could influence any Justice Department investigations 

                                                          as Drumpf attempted to erase President Obamas eight-year achievements  President O’Biden will help erase the Drumpf debacle

1641,  Sunday,  8  11. 20

 

he went out early to pickup a copy of the Los Angeles Times for the headlines of the O’Biden – O’Harris win

he threw a canvas bag over his shoulder picked up a book from his coffee table to read as he walked Walkaway by Cory Doctorow seemed appropriatedelighted him he tried to delight himself whenever he could he was the only one he was seeing and that enforced by the Trump virus 

                                                he wasnt infected but he felt it was necessary to lead by example that was the extent of his leadership qualities

he figured hed walk over to the Circle K mart about a mile and a half off

entering through manual glass and steel doorsChrist he loved opening his own doornot bullshit automatic doors if he had his druthers everything would be manual that the population wasnt being feminised 

                                                                                              his brotherinlaw didnt appreciate him saying so but his brotherinlaw sought the newest convenienceswhich was his prerogative as it was his prerogative to accuse him of being feminised 

his brotherinlaws microwave  he didnt cook for himself he warmed his food

he on the other hand delighted in the preparation of his meals the fresh vegetables buying whole chickens and turkeys and dismembering bought whole roasts and severed them into steaksreminding him of working weekends in a Montana butchershop culling cattle and in a separate corral far from the herd killing them as it was pulling a rabbit from its collective hutch and killing it away from the others fear didnt pollute its meat unlike the fear ingested from grocerystores who bought from meat factories 

                                   really  a fucking meat factory but he surmised that the meat was provided for a fucking human factory that produces consumers bent on their conveniences 

                                                                                as he was bent on inconveniencing himself to the best of his abilities  leading by example 

entering the Circle K he didnt see the employee who was managing the shop

he went left to the newspaper rack and found a lone copy of the Los Angeles Times maybe hed ask how many copies the store received

walking up to the counter there still wasnt a visible employee but there were cameras everywhere 

                                                                                                       he loved that he was wearing a mask to hide his facehis other features hidden from surveillance by his long wild hair his baggy jacket and pants

there was a little green bell on a woodhandle at the counter 

                                                                it said RING FOR LUCK  and since a bell didnt sound as he came into the store to advise its attendant he entered he humourously figured that en lieu perhaps of the doorbell inoperable for the time being that the handbell was meant to suffice  it seemed plausible

he picked it up and shook it casually 

it didnt ring 

             that delighted him immeasurablyhumoured him immendely he imagined a bell without a clapper might be determinate of his luckHA 

he shook it more violently 

                           apparently it liked it rough and sounded  it also pleased him that an inanimate object would like it rough 

              they were cut from the same cloth

he set the bell down on the counter and momentarily the cooler box door opened and out emerged the attendant who began to explain himself beginning with a Sorry . .

No he interrupted no sorry is necessary Ive worked this job and when its only you its only you Im patience See  he heldup the book I got a book to keep me company youre not waiting my time at all

Well, thank you, sir. Not everyone is kind to having to wait.

Their fault  They ought to read a book

the attendant laughed as he came around the counter by the newspaper rack he decided not to ask about how many LA Times copies came in and as the attendant approached him on the opposite side of the counter he mentioned that he tried to get his attention by ringing the bell

The bell? You ring that bell for luck, as it says.

I rang it for you

I didn’t hear it, dumb luck I stepped out when I did.

Nahkiddin

Nope. Sorry to say, you're out of luck. he bubbled in laughter at his joke

he joined in his laughter they both thought they were pretty funny

Well man Its good to know this early in the morning I aint got any luck today.

Nope, not today, man. Not today.

he enjoyed the mans demeanor 

                                  Nope  Not today

they both started laughing again

 

wasnt a shabby way to start the day 

                                        and also under a new president and vice president-elect  

0954,  Sunny – windyday,  8  11. 20

it wasnt the usual  ah umm   cockblock 

                                            usually hed been cockblocked by wellmeaning girl friendsnot to be confused with girlfriends  he entertained an unseemly number of girl friends and girlfriends  he was told that was odd  which he had to disagree withrather vehemently disagree with  he preferred the company of women Women Who Run With Wolves to men  for obvious reasons and not-so-obvious reasons 

                                                                    they made more fucking sense  werent concerned about swinging their dicks  as a matter of fact he couldnt wait for them to take over the world again

The World again? 

                    he loved when people blurted that question  fucking idiots  Yah  Again

Never. You’re mistak . . 

. . An yer an idiot See  he could drop fucking so not to really hurt their feelings  look how fucking empathetic he was The Age of the Great Goddess  Marija Gimbutus  Or the Great Mother  Matrilineal leadership as opposed to patrilineal 

                                                                                                                    anif he remembered correctly it was Judaism that crushed it  Yahweh was no broad  Asherah was a broad and purged  Hierarchy was meant to be a he-thing not she-thing 

Which is too bad  We could be way ahead of where we are right now 

                                                                            I truly believe that

that said 

            it wasnt the usual cockblock

frankly it nade him laugh 

                            and he must have fallen asleep laughing

he ran the washing machine as he was laying down

fresh sheets 

             he laid in fresh sheets and they always felt insanely pleasurable to him  like comforting arms

he took to bed a casual blouse his girlfriend wore  it smelled like her  she was on a business trip

he laid down in bed listening to the white noise churning of the washer and gripped his cock with an intent to vigorously masturbate

his HUGE tom indie jumpedup onto bed  rather deftly for an obese cat  indie would challenge himhe was sure  I’m an a beast cat, Fuck. 

                 and on the bed indie worked his way up from his feet and decided to lay on himpinning his right shoulder and arm and hand  Game up!  thered be no manual diddling tonight

he slept with his head between pillows fitting  with his left he pulled his girlfriend blouse closer to his face  he inhaled her 

     Lets play in our dreams babe

lights out

1427,  Saturday – O’Biden named President-elect,  7  11. 20

https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/ancient-cultures/ancient-israel/asherah-and-the-asherim-goddess-or-cult-symbol/ 

he heard of this bakery from friends 

                                       If you’re ever in San Jose and want really good bakery goods, pies, cakes, mind you you’ll be paying a pretty penny, but as a treat they’re terribly worth it.

his girlfriend was born in San Jose

he found the bakerys address in the phonebook looked it up on a map shed go bonkers it was a mile off from the hospital where she was born 

                               hed surprise her  make a weekend of it  drive to San Francisco take in the Legion of Honor and de Young art museums  then tool down the 1 looking for a casual motel  then take dinner  in the morning theyd cross back to San Jose

on Sunday to their delight they found the bakery had a few small tables inside also served tea and coffee 

                                                                                                                Such a deal everyone he knew had a Jewishside to them

they bought a box bright pink! of sweet rolls to take with them and enjoyed a slices of pie with coffee

he took the chair facing the front door habits never die they grow old with you his girlfriend had quit fighting him for it  her chair at adiagonal faced the counter  she could see into the kitchen through large split doors their upper halves glass

the owner was as proud of his oven and flour bins and enormous baker tables as he was his productshe utterly celebrated their creation   he was also the main baker 

he brought his girlfriend into San Jose a backway to disorient her  not that disorienting her would be difficult  the only place she knew in San Jose was the hospital  she had no idea where in San Jose she lived with her parents and brother  her father was a disk jockey and personality  he would have liked to meet him but the opportunity was nonexistent  her parents suffered an ugly split and divorce  her father fell off the face of the planet  he diedshe discovered while curiously fiddling with Google 

                                                  he wondered how many times people were shocked by the death of old friends that they casuallycuriously pursued on-line  he had a share – three – they blew him up  he almost termed them good friends but had they been they wouldnt have drifted apart 

                                                                      no matter  it was Shocking

he was terribly sorry she found out on-line that her father died

they spokethey talked about the artthe canvases they saw their good fortune to have timed the trip north  the funky place they stayed  she said he had a knack for finding tacky AH  Sorry. Not really tacky; personality, motels of unique personalit . . 

. . Like us

she giggledthe giggle erupted into laughter she didnt cover her mouth 

                                                                         Yes. I suppose. Like us.

I aim to please   And surprise

You do. she reached across the table and took his hand  You do. You have a knack.

Thank you As you said a knack for tacky 

                                             the motel they stayed at when the ceiling was lighted by blacklight was adorned with cosmic swirls constellations planets gods and naked goddesses buxom sprites 

                                                                                                  an erotic glowing ceiling

he inquired the man who painted it in the 60s owned the motelrather he headed the commune that owned the motel  

each of the twelve rooms had different ceilings

they vowed to return and fuck in each room

suddenly she fell quiet 

                       her eyes filling with tears

What

she set her fork down

What is it

her eyes went between the glass counters of bakery goods and the kitchen behind the split doors

he turned on his hip

                      the women in joyous bright pink uniforms were in posturesthroes of sudden grief  they wept silently  the counter traffic had come to a standstill  some customersobviously returning customers were weeping trying to gather their witsrein in their emotions  

the pie they were eating was made that morning by the bakerys owner

they learned he had just been shot to death in a robbery  in a bank parking lot  where he was making a cash drop

he didnt set his fork down

she looked at himshe seemed to disapprove

No  he shook his head at herNo  he took a large forkful and stuffed it in his mouth 

when he finished chewing swallowing he took a sip of coffee 

                                                                 then clearing his throattamping down his upset he said If I were him Id want me to enjoy his labour his very pleasure and craft

 

0603,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

1259,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

                          Washington Posts Antonia Farzan and Rick Noack report  The United States reported 116,707 new (Trump virus) infections on Thursday

twenty states that saw their highest daily counts yet span New England the Midwest the Great Plains and the Pacific Northwest 

            the most dramatic increases over the past week included Maine Iowa Colorado Minnesota and Nebraska

deaths exceeded 1,000 nationwide for the third consecutive day

health officials worry Americans are “giving up” 

                                                       perhaps following the presidents lead

but dont ask him 

                 hes only concerned for himself right now

1100,  Reggae Friday.  6  11. 20

    O my  PA and GA counts have surged to O’Biden 

                                                         he couldnt wait to hear the presidents concession tweet

0726,  Reggae Friday,  6  11. 20

 

if the election plays out the way hes maintained hes sacrificing chickenas close to religion as he can get Democrats can cast asidemothball red MAGA caps for blue PAGA caps  hur hurhur

1609 or 409,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

$236K -- Killed

Hmm 

        on one hand  flagrant frivolous lawsuits demanded by the president of his less-than-stellar counsel  re: hacks 

on the other hand  daily new confirmed coronavirus – stop  stopstop – he has to quit with that he meant to say – daily new confirmed Trump virus cases “in the U.S. have surged 45% over the past two weeks . . . a record 7 day average of 86,352, according to John Hopkins University . . . deaths are also on the rise, up 15 percent to an average of 846 deaths EVERY DAY.”

    whichever hand is holding the death and despair ought outweigh Trumps vanityoutweigh his delusion of grandeur John Mellencamp  Crumblin’ Down  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PErUiAyVoGc

1523 or 323,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

https://apnews.com/article/election-2020-donald-trump-pandemics-virus-outbreak-public-health-0715afa39a966935fe12ea4123cf62fc

 

Well shit Im an indoor cat 

                             there was an epiphany an admission he hadnt made before  frankly hadnt thought before 

he was talking to one of his indoor cats bomber a huge tabby whichwhen he became loquacious held court as someone or several listened  he called bomber either orangemaralade-coloured or butterscotch-coloured 

                                                                                                   he was carefully careless usually concluding that foray by saying his descriptions were enticing enough to provoke himat least to consider eating bomber in other words eat pussy 

                                           that usually drew breaths

bomber had cut him off in the hall on his way from his studio to the bathroommade him short-step so he didnt either kick bombers ass down the hallway or stomp on him

entering the bathroom ahead of him bomber had jumped up onto the window ledge

Careful old man he said  then he stroked bombers chest with his right hand  

bomber had settled inwas seated and looking out the window through the screen

So tell big guytell me bomber  what are you looking at

he looked out across bombers back 

Are you looking for wee  wee was one of five feral cats who found him and he fed and watered 

he didnt see her

Are you looking for birds they were several moving in the rosemary on the grass before them looking very much like mini velociraptors  in the apricot tree 

                                  usually bomber chattered when he was spying birds or hummingbirds at the feeder  the feeder was vacant

No  Hmm   I wonder whats up with you

bomber turned his head and looked up at himlooked him in the eyes 

                                                                        he liked that with his cats inside and out they looked him in the eyes and there was no doubt that they were thinking sentient beings aware of him as they were of themselves particularly so cats  predators

Bomber you have such huge yellow eyes

bomber looked up at him awhile longer then returned his gaze outdoors

Youah  thinking  youd like to be outdoors running around Youll recall youve been outdoors and werent so keen on it You clamoured to get back in As a matter of fact you might recall I opened the door and you came in on your own

bomber was pulling his stoic act acting like he didnt hear him much like he did when someone rights his words or actions hed rather not hear it   again

I keep the windows open bomber to let the fresh air in  to let as much outside inside as I can

Yamight wanna recognise if yare yearning to be outdoors that  well yare an indoor cat he rubbed bomber chest roughly kissed his neck Yup big boy yare an indoor cat 

                                                                 he heard his own wordshe wasnt talking to himself  when you talk with an animal youre not talking to yourself

he heard himself 

                           Well shit  Im an indoor cat

cat  a jazz term he used   a cool cat

1554 or 354,  Twosday – Election Day,  3  11. 20

1059,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  4  11. 20

Tom Jones  What’s New Pussycat?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQvIAs-nPSo

$234K -- Killed

hed say this about that

https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2020/11/04/donald-trump-speech-tapper-bash-elexnight-vpx.cnn/video/playlists/presidential-election-2020/ 

                                                       in full disclosure he didnt listen to the presidents remarks  hes found that he sounds best when hes mutedhed let the commentators tell him what he said  theyre paid to listen to the malarkey

O’Biden/O’Harris are holding slim leads

his girlfriend was troubled

to allay her concerns he texted her :  : A bit humourous, however, if the worst president in history were to win re-election – Black Humour Matters

0839,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  4  11. 20

 

he hated when he got ahead of himselfit was unlike him

                                                            he dreamed of a lactating womanhe would  he had sixty cousins was from the middle of the pack and several of his eleven aunts or mother were usually pregnant  thats what Catholic gets you  unprotected sex and Gods abundance 

                                                            because without God his mother and aunts wouldnt have gotten pregnant God the Eternal middleman doling out motile sperm and whorish ovum 

                                                                                            No thanks hed have children when he wanted to attempt to have them

he had two 

             that he knew of

 

this galGloria lactated something fierce La Leche League-ish or really Lacation Matters-ish  Black Lives Matter and then the butthurt assemblies whofor whatever reason HAVE to announce that they Matter too 

                                                                                              Thank You they could get in line and blow him 

                       but he digressed

she would pump at work and before heading out to donate she stopped off 2 – 4OZ bottles with him or at his cubicle the two of them freaked out their coworkers those who didnt like it said so which as he put itas he appreciated that they shared their unsolicited opinions a preamblehe explained  for his cool blue acknowledgement and reply  Fuck you Like I care what you think 

                       he should have had it made into a bumper sticker a thousand years ago or a pin to wear on his lapel rather than an American Flag

he had conferences with superiors for his frankness 

                                                        he had longhand for it: fuckrankness  they reeled his anodyne  he wouldnt have said what he did if he hadnt been provoked  Yaknow Cause and effect   I know yaknow

his personnel jacket as he was told by his last superior in hierarchy-only was blue and he frankly couldnt understand how it was he hadnt been fired numerous timeshe emphasised numerous

ofcourse he had to reply Probably because I call horseshit horseshit 

                                                                           but he digressed

he loved to digress a drug  an Alice in Wonderland rabbithole

ANYWAY 

           Gloria finally appeared in his dreamsas his gals eventually did she was one of three lactating friends and as it turned out she was only one of the three who he was able to allow her to nurse him

this dreamas dreams should  was over the moon and lingered in his eyes after he woke  throughout the day his cock reminded him Hey man that was a crazy dreamhuh you two were insane 

                                                                                he liked the occasions his cock kicked in its 2cents  kept his blood flowing 

                                    but he digressed

 

as he said he hated when he got ahead of himselfit was unlike him

                                                                        because his dream preemptedby three days  an uexpectedutterly astonishing episode or soiree of quarantine porn that exhibited lusty busty Asian lesbians  one who was lactating

how the hell does one get out ahead of that

                                            that was rhetorical 

2143,  Monday,  2  11. 20

1549,  Twosday – Election Day,  3  11. 20

Them  Gloria  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDo-GA1hLk4 

Lactation Matters  https://lactationmatters.org/2013/06/18/how-to-become-a-human-milk-donor/