7.10.20

 

he really didnt know why it came to bethe how was etched in his skull

since he slept with a pillow blanket  something pressed up against his left cheek  but not under his head

he laid flat 
               maybe he was practicing for later

Why do you have to say that?

Why do you care

Care? Im in on it!

In on it

Yes. All of us are in one it, and we cringe when you say things like that; I don’t think, excuse me, we don’t think you know how frequently you imply things, uncomfortable, sometimes perverse things.

So you an all of you think I dont think before I speak
                                                         Do you know me not to know what Im saying  I havent consideredthought it through

Im rarely known to commit trepverter or if you prefer French to Yiddish esprit d’escalier staircase wit  stepwords

One in the same

 

Please 
 
             Answer me


No. We’d admit that you tend to be considerate, then considerately inconsiderate.

Seems all of us  like to butter both sides of the bread

I am troubled by your perception or concern  that yare in on it 
                                                                   Id think youd be like rats fleeing a sinking boatif I sank slowly If the door slams shut then youd be fucked

Everyones been revealed slowly over the years dancing before my peekhole my keyhole

Now unless   appearances are deceiving I dont think youve been incubating yare not puggles 

More likely Ive conceived that you saw opportunity and found your way in Anif Im correct you can find your way out again 

If its too hot in the kitchen  you  all of you   can adios

An the kitchens rarely hot  by how I ascertain things to be 

                                                                   Though we do enjoy different perceptions
Don we

 

Well said.

Had to be said 

                     Anso

 

We do enjoy our digs.

Then you might cringe and commiserate between yourselves and leave me to steer

 

I havent gotten us killed
                                 Yet

Ha! No, not yet.           

0010,  Twosday,  6  10. 20 
1336,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  10. 20
Grand Funk Railroad  I’m Your Captain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvOPucs7dC0

 

no Air 

no Heat

his cats didnt need it

why would he

creature comforts

were all creatures earthlings 
                               so Air didnt figure into his life when it was hot and Heat didnt either when it was cold  living in California afforded him that

what was outside was inside  in through screened windows

anyet it seemed hard for others to understand


they wanted to know why 


Why 

         Tellya wha   

Use your imagination 

I have better things to do with my time

It was curious he thought to be expected to answer questions he wouldnt ask                                                                                    

0012,  Twosday,  6  10. 20
1152,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  10. 20


he was raised by a lioness 
                             not that they always saw eye to eye  but he learned as a boy that men were no better than women  and certainly no better because of their sex

he had an abiding belief in individuals 
                                         and did not hold sex up to influence his opinion of their words

First Lady Michelle Obama spoke

he listened

he agreed with her words
                            yet another undaunted lioness standing warily over her kill that she made to feed her pride her family

2344,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

Santana  Black Magic Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_SOAdAxFfo

6.10.20


a second Gettysburg Address  
                                 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzyKJEv_QoY

Biden spoke presidential words . . words unheard in nearly four years

                                                                                              1848,  Twosday,  6  10. 20 

$212K -- Killed

ah  a Drumpf clusterfuck something he can capably perform 
                                                              https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/presidential-historian-trump-is-so-terrible-he-makes-hoover-look-like-gandhi-93284422001

cant help  a flock fou-ishly follows its CoVidiot clown

2105,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/-evil-chris-hayes-on-trump-admin-s-ongoing-recklessness-that-led-to-covid-outbreak-93282373784 

 
white blouse black bra white blouse  ahblack bra black bra   aah white blouse  thats called a diacope  a rhetorical devise 
       had he thought instead white blouse black bra white blouse black bra white blouse black bra  a bit tamer more prosaic that would have been a relative of diacope an epizeuxis  a succession of words or a phrase for emphasis or vehemence      

 

empathically he said Gawdblessya doll

she smiled he met her at the end of the foyerrecognised her voice when she entered  God bless me?

Yes

Why?

he stepped back away from her looked her up and down made her giggle Because you look fine this evening an ya made it I didnt think you were going to make it it sounded like you might not when we spoke earlier this evening

it was a small gathering of friends acquaintances rather it seemed small because the house was so large it dwarfed them even six or seven congregating in a room seemed small

Thank you. she said You can quit ogling me now, you’re embarrassing me, people are noticing your, your inspection.

Let em notice Besides  yare noticeable

Thank you. Pleease stop.

Will it please you if I stop

Yes.

Then to please you I will

Ai she was Chinese and Japanese  he was still wondering where her figure came fromher stature  fiveeight five nine  hourglass 
            she referred to herself Chapanese 
cute

she was not the usual China dolls he had met small compact slight figures   nearly boyish

he didnt like boyish on women

luxurious thick black mane bangs

Ai You really made my night Anthen to please you on top of it  Whamore could a guy ask for

Flatterer. Though I expect you, my guy, my guy for the evening, will likely find something more to ask for.

Am I that transparent

Like freshcleaned glass, you lack any opacity.

Now look whos embarrassing people I wish I could blush

she percolated a laugh as if he caught her offguard 
                                                     No. That’s not in your make-up. I used to be astonished by your directness, your saying things as they are, usually more crudely than not, but cleverly, a nice alchemychemical bonding, and then at once charming; you’re a charmer.

I strive for charmingstrive to charm the pants off  ladies

My goodness, the things that come out of your mouth.

he pressed up close to her 
                             Wheres my hug doll

Ai stepped back and started patting herself down Your hug, your hug, it’s here somewhere, I’m sure I didn’t leave it at home, positive, I wouldn’t do that, it’s here somewhere. 
                                                           she stopped patting her hands at her thighs fingers spread black eyes penetrating his Found it. 
                                        she stepped forward to him and they wrapped each other in their arms a sensual embrace

he swelled she smelled wonderful 
                                      one day hed ask her what the fragrance was but not asking left it a mystery much of what they didnt ask each other was for the mutual benefit of their mysteries he still didnt know where she lived 

he scarcely got her number he wouldnt have asked anyone if they had it  it was the second time hed seen her he caught her outside a restaurantsaw her through a window as she was unlocking her car he rushed out EXCUSE me

she startled

Sorry he said as he hustled towards her  You know my faceyah

she had unlocked the door and opened it the door was between them Do I know your face?

I know your face We werent introduced

You know my face?

I do

 

Yare killing me

she smiled

Now yare really killing me

her smile grew Fucking dimples he didnt say I recall your face. Knowing it would be too . .
. . Presumptuous

Big word. No. Forward, too forward of me.

Then let me be forward 
                          Joe  May I ask your name

You came all the way out of the restaurant, I can see your party waiting on you, his back was to the restaurant to ask me my name?

Wellnah actually  Actually I came out to ask you for your number Then Id ask for your name to pair with your number Then I reconsidered when you didnt spookdidnt get in your carshut the door

That would be backwards.

I couldnt say Youve had me turning in circles since last I saw youknowed your face

Knowed my face?

Knowed Or node n-o-d-e a point which lines or pathways intersect  Ours

Ours?

You ask a lot of questions 
                            Wheres the mystery

Ai.

Short for Ai yai yai

Cute.

Maybe clever

Maybe. she looked over his shoulder  The natives are getting restless.

Theyll have all evening to have my attention This is a sliver I have no intention of pulling out

A sliver?

Another question

she smiled quickly again Fucking dimples 
                                            Would you like a number to pair with my name? Or are you going to say I’m asking another question.

Yes   No

Have something to write it down?

No

You want me to do all the work?

Is that another question

the laughter bubbled out of her as if she were a childs toy bubble machine  gay  bright  shiny  luminous 
                                                                                                                  musical

Here. she went into her purse and got an eyeliner pencil

Just your number Ai  I cant ever forget your nickname

she wrote it up his wrist

she might have noticed his pulse tick up

 

 

she noticed his swelling she rocked her hips against his 
                                                            she said into his ear I don’t think we’re alone, Joe.

No But you provoked it

I . . I provoked it?

Yes

How?

Questions questions questions

she chuckled 
               How?

White blouse black bra  Hot

Shit. You can see my bra?

Everyone can see your bra Though I find it hot   They probably do too

I rushed out of the house, I didn’t think.

Were you that anxious to see . . 
. . I’m always anxious to see you; unexpectedly my other plans fell through.

An Im happy they didya can feel how happy

You’re crazy.

Im crazy for you

 

 

later Ai went into a bathroom because Joe asked her then step back out brieflyholding the door holding his gaze 
she didnt think so he said he did he was right it was better she suffered her white blouse black bra than her white blouse and dark “spectacular aureoles”  as he called them                                              
                                                                     What was I thinking? she didnt say  

1813,  Monday,  5  10. 20
1311,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

 

his grandchildren two buttonpushing sisters didnt like coming over to his house 

You let spiders live in your house.

I do

Why do you let spiders live in your house?You should kill them.

Kill them  hmm 
                 Ive got a question for you before I answer yours   Okay

Okay.

If yare playing outdoors where spiders live should they kill youshould they kill you for the animus you have for themfor your unpretentious bile and contempt dare I say hatred you exhibit

No. But theyre only bugs.

An yare only humans

Were all eathlingsya understand the term earthlings  living on Earth

If you can so easily kill a bug a spider I can see no reason why you shouldnt be killed as easily

 

You’re not very nice, Grampa.

 

Wha gave you the impression Im nice 
                                         If anything I try hard to be fair  Are you both as bloodthirsty as you say

 

We should go tell our mother.

Your mother My daughter She knows shes lived through it
                                                                 Besides this is my house If you dont like it you dont have to visit See how easy it is to solve your problem     

 

1334,  Monday,  5  10. 20

5.10.20

 

her Fulu fooled him

 

                              Whas this baby  he held a receiptsized slip of paper out to her

she didnt take it from his hand
                                  I don’t know – she smileddimples huge  he was jealous of her dimples – what is that?

he returned her mischievous smile they shared a long history of speaking in smiles  Youah yare not trying to bewitch me  areya

Oh come on, Dad, I don’t think there’s a soul who believes they could bewitch you. Your amour, like your unbendy body and joints would scarcely allow any mystical purchase or penetration.

Yaint talkinbout my anus

her smile grew exponentially then twistedqueer  it looked painful 
                                                                     Ouch he said

Only looks painful, Dad; no, I wasn’t talking about your anus. There are many accesses or avenues that can be used.

Good Im happy about that because theres others I can think of who Id rather discuss my anus with than my daughter

You’re welcome . . moving along.

Yes  Lets

What do you have there?

You pleading ignorance

No. I’m not ignorant, I recall, I just haven’t seen it since you moved . . well, moved me to seek to protect you, create it. 
I haven’t made many talismans, and when I made this one my concern was for your health; I remember, but I don’t remember exactly, and what symbols I’ve used and thoughts I’ve had have evolved. Then I was impressionable, and somewhat naïve.

Naiveté isnt a word I would ever use to describe you Aniela Perhaps innocent as innocence is and then learns and becomes stronger fortifies itself  But you were never a babe in the woods you came into this world with your tabula rasa scribbled all over . . an old soul as your mother and grandmothers saw and said
I wouldnt know

she took the talisman from his hand

she chuckled a bit as she looked at it as if it tickled her palmtickled her memory

Yes. I remember making it. 
                             I copied the front from a health script I found in one of my books before I came to visit; you can see it is rigid, severe, prosaic. Turning it you can see the script on the reverse side, my script, is playful, generous, spontaneous. You can also see I loosely drew a couple symbols from the face and at the bottom had the eternities facing each other whereas the two on the front faced left, left being your power, your brain and being’s creativity.

I did see

I can’t say exactly, Dad, right now, off the top of my head, but I sought to intuit for you, help you manifest your strength and goodness against whatever it was you were struggling against, since we’ll never know because you refused the specialist's diagno . .
. . He didnt know shithe couldnt know  He was unwilling to listen to me to hear me and created a fiction to determine a course of action that likely hes repeated a thousand times over his career  because one thousand people are exactly alike

He wasnt a scientist

He was a pill pusher

My complaint waswasnt pain  only  discomfort

 

Aniela listened

You’re a funny guy, Dad. Other people’s pain is your discomfort.

Listen to you preaching to the choir 
                                      Yare a lot like me

Nobody’s like you, Dad; I wish I was.

she handed the talisman back to him 
                                        When I left it I was pretty sure you might ditch it.

No It was apparent an honest as you always have been I figured sooner or later wed have this moment

Whas it called love

It's called Fulu. Daoist magic writing, magic characters, figures.

 

I like that Fulu 
                 I healed up  Thank you lovethank you Aniela for your powerful healing thoughts and love 

I love you so much, Dadu.

You nut

they hugged their long loving embrace shaken with laughter 
                                                                 Shaken, not stirred.  

2037,  Saturday,  3  10. 20
1211,  Monday,  5  10. 20

Brian Hyland  Gypsy Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yDmOP2KI90

$211K -- Killed

quarantine

evidently the president of the United States didnt look up the word quarantine or perhaps couldnt spell it to look it up

which would account for his joyride around Walter Reed and jeopardising Secret Service agents -- if the president put a gun to his head to blow his brains out is Secret Service required to get between his head and the muzzle

 

he is an unmitigated piece of shit

1612,  Monday,  5  10. 20



apparently Abbott Laboratories presidential coronavirus testing is like an Abbott and Costello comedy bit

https://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/members-of-trump-s-inner-circle-test-positive-for-covid-19-93143621757

1644,  Monday,  5  10. 20


people go to things day after day stringing their lives together in what they deem  usually  are productive meaningful ways

he called them routinespeople flinched when he did 
                                                     asif it were a bad thing 

some believe theyre above it
                                       

                         routine
                                 is their hearts beatingtheir unconscious breaths  their steps falling forward one after the other 
       otherwise theyd stand still 
                                     wouldnt progress 
                                                                   Evolution wouldnt have evolved

 

his life thus far was composed of heady blocks of routine

through adolescence  teens  young adulthood  middle ages   entering bizarre enddays some might impose that last year after year because threats are less frequent  theyd be apparent if he tried provoking them

nobody wants to beat a senseless older man senseless

trouble is  older people are filled to overflowing with senses

senses going unfulfilleddemons running through their lives  haunting their dreams

senses of wrong turns that may have led to regret  if regret was a colour they wanted to paint with

failing senses 
               eyes  ears  taste

extreme senses  lovedbeloved ones deaths 
                                            aching memories  like stepping in mud struggling to extract their foot and freedwatch their footprint fill slowly with water  patiently  they have nowhere to be   and filled reflect their face  everyones faces

 

his were heady blocks of routine because being keen while living outside and inside his head they stacked neatly like childs toys  storage bins

his mother before she died told him when he called to ask if what he remembered actually happened or had he dreamed or madeup it 
              Please stop asking me, Joe, it’s hard for me to remember now, but what I do remember is that whenever you asked you had remembered it correctly, they were memories; and, I am grateful, they jumpstarted mine.

 


routine isnt a bad thing
 
2054,  Saturday,  3  10. 20
1147,  Sunday,  4  10. 20

4.10.20

 

ifya got moxie  confidence    ifya got balls 
                                                              shoot from the hip

if not

ifya have doubts

keep the gun in yer holster 

things will only go from bad to worse aint a soul gonna have yer back theyll be busy covering their asses faking they didnt knowhadnt hearddidnt see

but as long as you know and recognise thatknow it emphatically  know youre alone
come out of yer corner swinging

chances are the cunts havent thrown a punch in their lives an don wan their pretty faces messed up

the vanity of a puss 
                    but unfortunately pusses have to trade on their lookscant afford a cut a bruise a blackeye  they want to present themselves as above the fray – which theyve usually created – that they are untouchable  impervious
Yah  Perverts


he entered swinging 
                    calling it a battle royale  knocking people down and out or until they stayed downdidnt get up didnt want to get hit again

he was incentivised to stay on his feet 
                                       they were the kind who would kick or stomp if you went down    

 

while he couldnt waitcouldnt wait for the day when that wasnt true in the meantime hed provoke and hit and have them know Nothings just business 
                                         It was personal  

 

0037,  Saturday,  3  10. 20
1336,  Saturday,  3  10. 20

 
another alcoholic Sunday 
                           pro football Jack shots sipping black coffee  until plying beers at High Noon Coop never had it this good


donuts with the coffee

Sunday donuts 
                 only during the football season donuts didnt exist outside it unless he had to take his car in for work or an oil changehave his tires rotated

happily he was rotated far more frequently than his tires

 

a Cambodian woman owned the donut shop

she and her husband ran it and when their daughter and son were old enough they helped

Fon

when her children were babies she and her husband escaped the terror of Cambodia Vietnam they were boat people 

he saw the bodies televised on the six o’clock news when boats sank or overturned  overcrowded   people desperate to save themselves


Fon made it to America

they were grateful to live in America make a living running a donut shop  become citizens


he was born in America

what had he done 


he tipped more than the dozen or two dozen donuts depending he bought on Sunday morning for football Jack black coffee  

he was a sucker for Fons Bavarian custardfilled chocolatefrosted Bismark her powdersugared lemonfilled Bismark her plain buttermilk donut her plain blueberry donut

he had all day to eat them and everyone knew to stay clear of them on pain and punishment of his hands

nobody wanted to piss off a man whod been drunk since morning 


although he was always sober in Fons presence 
                                                 respecting what he would never dare ask her respecting her immigration her courage   and remembering keenly his Born in America entitlement 
                                                                             which he didnt take for granted  Ever

 

1144,  Sunday,  4  10. 20

The Bangles  Manic Monday  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsmVgoXDq2w